Mysterious malfunctions in miscellany - Slide 3

It's back.

Bigger and better than ever.

22 Jump Street
Paragraphs in coroner's report kick ass.
Third begins: Cynthia Watson, suspected dealer of narcotic "WHYPHY". A new drug combination of adderall, ecstasy and other active and inert ingredients. Etc etc.
First begins: Cynthia Watson, person of interest, deceased, suspected dealer of narcotic "WHYPHY". WHYPHY is a new drug, a combination of adderall, ecstasy and other active and inert ingredients. Etc etc.
Employing tactic of copying, pasting and inserting new bollocks? Very odd.
Final sentence of third: MCPD has surveillance of Cynthia Watson receiving drugs from an unknown person suspected as being a dealer of WHYPHY. Identify, and infiltrate the dealer to find the supplier.
Second paragraph (in full): MCPD has surveillance of Cynthia Watson receiving drugs from an unknown person suspected as being a dealer of WHYPHY. This drug must not be allowed to leave campus. Identify, and infiltrate the dealer to find the supplier.

HEAD FUCK!

Mercifully, this is much simpler.

Death Sentence
Jump to second column and note sentence beginning with 'Although the surface'.
Final sentence of third column below photo of Kevin Bacon's Nick Hume begins with 'Although the surface' etc etc.
I think we'll leave it there.

More from James Wan's revenge thriller.

In this shot, parking bay number is completely covered.

But shortly after, it's not.

Split

Subject in email from Barry S is We need you.

A click later, it's No Subject.

Terminator Vault is 'the complete story behind the making of The Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

Spelling any actor's surname should be simple.

But not in the case of Mr Lance Henriksen.

Henricksen

Henrickson

Final chance.

Henriksen

Not bad for a... human.

The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)
Months begin with a capital whatever, but unlike June, march begs to differ. 

Batman (1989)
As aerosol doesn't belong to anything, deodorant's shouldn't have an apostrophe.
Also, Batman earlier told Vicki to avoid hairspray mixed with lipstick and perfume, making all other said combinations absolute BULLSHIT.

Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

Freddys on child's creepy pavement scrawl should be Freddy's.

No such problem in this scene.

Sorry Carlos, but YOU'RE FUCKED.

The Wrestler
Randy receives a letter and cash from his promoter.
Your should be you're - the contraction of you and are.

Manic Street Preachers - The Holy Bible
Ifwhiteamericatoldthetruthforonedayit'sworldwouldfallapart
Unless I'm missing something, space-shy song is grammatically incorrect.

Ghost in the Shell (1995)
The common abbreviation of 'average' is avg.
Not here.
Come on, let's ave it.

New Year's Evil
Opening titles spell co-producer's first name as Yorum, but should be Yoram.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
Nancy's mum signs consent for daughter to receive medical treatment, but ignores simple instructions of circling either 'parent' or 'guardian'.

(Jesus, couldn't you let that one go?)

Let me think.  No.

Freddy vs Jason
'Please call' if anybody has seen any of these missing children, apart from the two little sods 'squared', as you only can 'call' on given number. 

Samurai Cop has to be seen to be believed.

Trust me, it's fucking amazing, and rightly cleaned up at the Oscars.

Goodie and baddie are miles apart.

Then get a little bit closer.

And inexplicably, in the next shot.

They're suddenly right next to each other.

Fabulous editing there.

Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie

Thunder Hawk is only ever referred to as T. Hawk.

Now it gets worse.

D.J and not Dee Jay?
It makes structu even more fucked up.

We may call him Honda, but he was born E. Honda.

Ken's Porsche raises a geeky eyebrow.

Please note wash on licence plate.

Cos' in the next shot, word is written in bold.

This may or not be famous.

The Lost Boys
Ignoring Dianne Wiest - who's the bird?

Credits state 80s icon Molly Ringwald from The Breakfast Club.

Still is actually from Sixteen Candles.

More credits cock-ups.

House of the Dead
Original game © 2000 Sega Corporation
First game was called The House of the Dead and released in 1996.
To add further fuel to fucked up fire, no game came in 2000.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens
3rd Asssistant Director.

The Untouchables
Vesti la Giubba from Leoncavallo's opera Pagliacci is misspelled Vesti la Guibba.

I (and you) will love this one.

Halloween: H20 20 Years Later
Dr. Loomis treated Michael Meyers over his distinguished career.
And there was me thinking that Laurie Strode's psychotic, and seemingly invincible brother was called Michael Myers.

Whisper it loudly, but plot of The Evil Dead is strikingly similar to micro-budget 1970 film Equinox.

Anyway, Fede Álvarez reimagined Sam Raimi's classic in 2013.

Back cover of box art reminds cult-hit horror was made in 1981.

Featurette Unleashing The Evil Force once again states 1981.

But.

The Evil Dead. © MCMLXXXII. Renaissance Pictures Ltd.
So according to roman numerals, the ultimate experience in grueling horror was released in 1982.

Oh my GOD!

Netflix break.

F is for Family S2 E1 - Heavy Sledding
January 16, 1974 was on a Wednesday, not Thursday.

My girls love Riverdale.  I don't.
I think there's something wrong with High School's Independant Student Newspaper.

Can't think what?

Silent Hill (film)

Silent is a town, NOT a city.
Well fix my broken lock.

In Konami's 1999 PS1 original, Cybil Bennett tells protagonist Harry Mason she's from Brahms (possible reference to German composer).

Who knows if done on purpose, but...

Christophe Gans changed next town over to Brahams. 

Why?

Cover art and taglines

The Complex
Hideo Nakata directed Ring, not The Ring.
For fuck's sake! Do some basic research.
Gore Verbinski remade and retitled Nakata's 1998 film as The Ring in 2002, changing villain's name from Sadako Yamamura to Samara Morgan.

Check out slogans for Zombie Resurrection, Timber Falls and Apocalypse of the Dead.

Prey for salvation

Prey for the missing....

Prey for the living

In this context, prey makes absolutely no fucking sense.

(Pray tell, what would?)

Hey, I'm the one who makes the clever puns around here.

(Sorry).

What's this?

Killer Tomatoes Strike Back
When good vegetables go bad!

Err, tomatoes are a fruit.

Best of all.

Confined
Take a look at circled word.

Adandoned is yet to grace any self-respecting dictionary.

Hmmm.

Seriously - WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

HA HA HA!

As mistake is so amazing, I took the liberty of snapping a physical copy.

Amusingly, back cover does what front couldn't.

Yep, 'abandoned' is spot on.

Until next time.

Insidious: The Last Key - The scoop and digest

For Chapter 3 prequel and sequel thing, fledgling director Adam Robitel ditches numbering system for subtitle.

Lin Shaye - Elise
Angus Sampson - Tucker
Leigh Whannell - Specs
Spencer Locke - Melissa
Caitlin Gerard - Imogen
Bruce Davison - Christian
Josh Stewart - Gerald

1953, New Mexico, Five Keys.

Young Elise is beaten and locked inside the basement by her father Gerald for claiming she sees ghosts of prisoners executed in the electric chair.

An angelic voice persuades her to unlock a mysterious door, giving a demon called Key Face licence to possess wee lassie.

Audrey (her mother) is murdered and just as Gerald arrives on the scene, Elise returns back to normal.

If he's got the key, then I must have the secret.

2010, California.

Let's stop for a minute.

Why?

Because doing the maths my friend, that is 57 years later.

Yeah so?

Ripley was rescued by a deep salvage crew after spending same amount of time in hypersleep.

You're not suggesting...

(Nods).

Aliens ref? Bullshit - it's coincidence.

Maybe, maybe not.

Now where was I?

Waking from a nightmare, paranormal investigator Elise reluctantly accepts work from a man named Garza, who's experiencing things that go bump in the night at her childhood home.

Shortly after finding a whistle which brother Christian used to alert mummy, a female ghost snatches old fashioned example.

Elise tells bumbling psychic colleagues Tucker and Specs that she previously clocked apparition as a teenager, but fearing another beating from Gerald, kept trap firmly shut and legged it.

At a diner, we meet Christian and his daughters Melissa and Imogen.

Behind basement wall, Elise finds a woman chained up by Garza.

With secret spilled, captor inevitably turns nasty, but Specs arranges for bookcase to kill him.

(Sigh).

Melissa goes exploring and gets fingered by antagonist.

Modus operandi removes voice and soul, sending victim into a coma.

Courtesy of startling convenience, Imogen can also astral project.

Suitcases housing female remains reveals Garza wasn't the only geezer up to no good over the years.

Key Face pops up to say hello and before going back down below, drags Elise into the Further.

Never fear, niece is here.

Led by the spirit of murdered girl Anna, Imogen locates baddie's prison realm, where captured souls are stored inside cells.

Realising that Key Face manipulated Garza and Gerald, Elise is encouraged to knock ten bells out of father, but refuses to comply.

"I'm not feeding you any more hatred demon.  You can fucking starve."

[Stunned silence].

Whoa! Can't believe what I just heard.  Hey Elise, here, this is for you. [Tosses money on cell floor].
Attagirl! I got respect for this kid.  She's got a lot of fucking balls.  Good for you! Don't take no shit off nobody.

Key Face goes to work on Elise, but before soul can be stolen, Imogen throws the whistle which is used to call Audrey.

Get this.

Mother's spirit defeats demon by clouting it with a lantern.

Ha ha ha! Can you fucking believe this shit?

After reconciling with Christian, Elise heads home.

A vision of Darth Maul, err Lipstick-Face Demon looming over Dalton interrupts Elise's beauty sleep and chatting with Lorraine Lambert on the blower sets up events of original.

Enough is enough

I could use many adjectives, but choose only one.

BORING!

I'm not sure how, but I managed to stay awake.

Honestly, running time is that riveting.

Although hideously bad, there are positives.

Lin Shaye gives another strong performance and to a degree, jump scares can be effective.

James Wan's concept was novel to begin with, but franchise has well and truly run its spectral marathon.

Street Fighter - Brilliant blunders (Part 1)

Following 'gratuitous gaffes' and 'calamitous cock-ups', comes...

Legend:

TWW - The World Warrior
CE - Champion Edition
HF - Hyper Fighting
TNC - The New Challengers

For punches and kicks, let's briefly slam what shouldn't be seen and heard in TWW, CE and HF.

Setting of car smash bonus stage is basically a cut down version of Ken's stage, but for whatever reason, boat with flag that once got wind is now static.

Unlike Blanka's electricity, effect of Dhalsim's fiery breath condemns sprites to one size.  This just looks daft when Chunners, Zangief, Honda and Blanka are incinerated.

Apart from Chun-Li, everybody emits same death scream.

Despite having different nationalities, Ryu and Ken sound identical.

It doesn't stop there.

For example:

Zangief, Sagat and Honda mimic each other's cackle during victory poses.

Vega's grunt for performing suplex is the same as Honda and Sagat's throw.

Etc etc.

Much of what I mention was fixed in TNC and Super Turbo.

However, Balrog's 1 2 3 Turning Punch voice is actually that of ring announcer.

But regardless of remake or update, Ken's boat and/or yacht is immortalised in video game history for defying the laws of physics by bobbing up and down on inanimate sea.

Okay, here we go.

The United Kingdom is a sovereign state.  A commonwealth realm and a kingdom of four constituent countries (England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland).

Union Flag, (commonly called the Union Jack), is composed of flags (or symbols) of England, Scotland and Ireland.

Wales is indirectly represented through the flag of St George, as Wales was part of the former Kingdom of England.

England's flag is derived from St George's Cross.

In short, England is only part of the UK.

So what the fuck does this have to do with anything?

Before emigrating to Italy in SF Alpha, Birdie was based in England.

I use Fighting Street (PC Engine port of Street Fighter) as proof.

But look at flag.

Oops.

Same with Cammy in TNC.

Background of Union Jack is purple, not blue.

Weird.

So it should be.

In SF III: New Generation and 2nd Impact: Giant Attack, the mustachioed Dudley boxed in London.

Geographical delusion returned in 3rd Strike.

U.S.A.

Fifty stars (or 'dots') for fifty states?

(Frowns).

Street Fighter

Course select
(32 states)

Then on map.

5 states

Err?

TWW, CE and HF
13 states

But in TNC

25 states

WHAT?

New globe yes, but it's the same in Super Turbo.

SF III: 2nd Impact

Huge flag on building in Alex's stage cannot be missed.

39 stars

But pre-match image appears to count correct quota.

It gets weirder in 3rd Strike.

Same character, different stage has a very disjointed 44 states.

Why keep changing things?

Sean fights in Brazil.

Cool.

But stage contradicts itself with Brasil.

Make up your bastard mind.

TWW debuted in February 1991.

Therefore, comrade Zangief coming from U.S.S.R. is fine.

CE and HF came out in 1992.

By now, the U.S.S.R. no longer existed, as former Soviet Union was dissolved on 26 December 1991.

Belarus, Georgia, Moldova, Lativa and obviously Russia, are all examples of post-Soviet states.

Even in Alpha 2 and Alpha 3, problem remained.

Capcom first acknowledged Moscow in SF III, as we fight Necro in New Generation (flagless) and 2nd Impact.

Russian flag is apparently Moscow in 2nd Impact, but I'll let that one slide.

3rd Strike reverted back to countries, and like compatriot Twelve, Russia is Necro's homeland.

I think you could call this progress.

For what is essentially HD Remix wearing uninteresting new features, asking price for Switch exclusive Ultra SF2: The Final Challengers is daylight robbery.

Fair enough, gallery was cool, but Way of the Hado is one of the worst fucking things I've ever played.

Nevertheless, let's look at specifics of wholly unnecessary update.

Well shit.

23 years after Super Turbo was first released, Zangief finally hails from Russia and together with fellow Americans Balrog and Ken, Guile represents one of 50 states.

But what of Cammy?

Nervous drum roll...

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Still, at least the St Andrew's Cross is blue.

Miscellany

Alex's portrait without vest in 2nd Impact and 3rd Strike.

 But he 'can' shred garment Hulk Hogan style pre-fight.

Capcom only knows why, but blondie declines to do so in New Generation.

Ken's stage in 2nd Impact is all about Ken Masters, but there's no way in the world sign says 'Masters'.
Looking closer, it's more like 'Mastr'.

You'll love this one from 3rd Strike.

Nothing sinister about hovering over and/or selecting Twelve.

 But if you come across him during 1P mode.

Freak's name has changed to Tweleve.

HA HA HA!

Via fussy code, Akuma is playable in Super Turbo.

Face was merely a silhouette.

Black square miniature is unacceptable.

Come on, be fucking consistent.

Finally, a very unusual mistake in Street Fighter Alpha.

Note apostrophe after Warriors showing plural possession, and placement of TM.

Every home version replicated logo, except for the incredible Game Boy Color port.

Ignoring purple background, Crawfish Interactive 'forgot' about punctuation and bizarrely moved position of trademark.

Cake may be cut into two more slices, but we'll see.