Monday, 24 February 2020

Brahms: The Boy II - The scoop and digest

William Brent Bell returns to direct stand-alone sequel to laughably bad original.

Surely lessons have been learned?

Katie Holmes - Liza
Owain Yeoman - Sean
Christopher Convery - Jude
Ralph Ineson - Joseph

Summary

Five months after Liza was attacked during a burglary, her young son Jude is struck by mutism.

Parents decide taking a break will help.

Jude finds a porcelain doll buried nearby to the derelict Glennview Estate (Heelshire Mansion) and becomes obsessed with new friend.

Strange things begin to happen, but inanimate plaything can't be responsible, right?

Torture

Okay, acting is pretty good, but apart from that, this has absolutely no reason to exist.

None whatsoever.

At just over 80 minutes, you'd think pain would be over with quickly, but the reality is quite the opposite.

To say inept piece of shit drags is an understatement.

Joseph tells us Brahms was at some point killed.  We don't know why or how, he just was.

But before that, we see doll blatantly move mince pies, making ridiculous twist rather obvious.

So we've gone from man living in walls to a fucking demon?

Just WHAT?

Hold the phone though, because gore, effective jump scares and disturbing imagery compensates.

(Laughs hysterically).

As for supernatural monster, it's probably the lamest example I've ever seen.

If this somehow makes a few quid, they'll probably green light a third.

PLEASE GOD NO!

Saturday, 22 February 2020

Film Poster Déjà vu

No introduction needed boys and girls.

Bride of Chucky vs Scream 2


Return of the Living Dead Part II vs Fright Night Part 2¹


¹1985 original wasn't much different.

Cold Comes the Night vs The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)


Forest of the Living Dead vs Day of the Dead (2008)


Betrayed vs Basic Instinct


Casino vs The Client


Hell's Highway vs Cape Fear (1991)


The Ruins vs Hostel


Mortuary (1983) vs Great White (aka The Last Shark)


Cobra vs The Terminator


Eat and Run vs The Funhouse


Crocodile Dundee II vs Maniac Cop


Insidious: The Last Key vs House (1986)


Lake Placid vs Jaws 2


Lao Nan Ren Li Xian Ji vs The Ides of March


Seven 2 One vs Vantage Point


Halloween (2018) vs The Human Stain


Clockers vs Anatomy of a Murder


Passenger 57 vs Die Hard 2


Fright Night (2011) vs No Country for Old Men


I Spit on Your Grave (2010) vs The Burning


It's a Disaster vs Paternity


XxX: Return of Xander Cage vs Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation


X: Night of Vengeance vs Secretary


Watch If You Dare vs Insidious: Chapter 3


Over the Top vs Every Which Way but Loose


New Year's Evil vs Escape from Alcatraz


Amityville: The Awakening vs The Possession Experiment


 Terminator: Dark Fate vs Logan


Offerings vs Gremlins


Now shit gets weird.

The Kiss of Death vs Sssssss


Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil vs The Goonies


 The Prodigy vs The Suffering


Dead & Buried vs Night of the Living Dead (Italian)


R.O.T.O.R. vs Mad Max


Love Rosie vs The Last Exorcism Part II


Minus bloke, leaves...

And.

The Scarehouse vs Prom Night (1980) and 2008 remake



The mind boggles.