Tuesday, 31 August 2021

Candyman - The scoop and digest

As per Halloween (2018), the sequel to Candyman is Candyman, so Farewell to the Flesh and Day of the Dead are ignored.

Even The Candyman would have been a better title.

Anyway, how much blood will co-writer and director Nia DaCosta spill?

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II - Anthony
Teyonah Parris - Brianna
Nathan Stewart-Jarrett - Troy
Colman Domingo - William Burke
Kyle Kaminsky - Grady
Vanessa Williams - Anne-Marie

Summary

In 1977, a boy encounters a man with a prosthetic hook in Cabrini-Green.

42 years later, Candyman country has since been pulled down.

Fascinated by a story told by his girlfriend's brother, visual artist Anthony begins to research the history of Helen Lyle.  At the former Cabrini-Green, he's stung by a bee and thinks nothing of it.

We learn from local William Burke that guy from the beginning was Sherman Fields.

He was beaten to death by the police for assaulting children, but later exonerated.

During an art exhibition, Anthony showcases his painting 'Say My Name', daring people to look directly into a mirror and repeat 'Candyman' five times.

As the bodies pile up, Anthony is haunted by Sherman's ghost.

After learning from estranged mother Anne-Marie of his connection to the first Candyman Daniel Robitaille, Anthony's sanity unravels.

Bee my victim

This wasn't great, but definitely not the car crash I expected.

It's aesthetically pleasing and shadow puppetry was a nice idea.

As everything is pretty much summarised, there's absolutely no need to watch classic original to understand what's going on.

Good or bad thing?

Down to personal opinion I suppose.

Okay, cue multiple problems.

Robert Aiki Aubrey Lowe's music is decent, but compared to Philip Glass's beautiful score...

However, an interpretation is briefly heard during Helen's back story.

De-aging horror icon Tony Todd for literally a matter of seconds was pointless and reeks of fan service.

Using gentrification as a visual metaphor came across as preachy rather than clever.

Also, white vs black.

Presumably to avoid 18 cert, kills now occur entirely off-screen.

Anthony becoming the latest addition to the hive was stunningly predictable.

Going further, where's Helen?

Most stupid of all, why did it take so fucking long for Anthony to get infection checked out?

(Rolls eyes).

Monday, 23 August 2021

Censor - The scoop and digest

Inspired by her own 2015 short Nasty, Prano Bailey-Bond makes feature-length directorial debut.

Niamh Algar - Enid
Michael Smiley - Doug Smart
Nicholas Burns - Sanderson
Vincent Franklin - Fraser
Sophia La Porta - Alice Lee
Adrian Schiller - Frederick North

Summary

During the video nasty crisis, meticulous film censor Enid does everything she can to protect the public from obscene material.

Her sister Nina went missing as a child and presumed dead.

Whilst presiding over latest work submitted by mysterious director Frederick North, she links actress Alice Lee to Nina.

Don't Go in the Church becomes an obsession, blurring the lines between fiction and reality.

Compelling

Takes a while to get going, but once it does...

Psychological horror owes a lot to Videodrome, but acting and direction is pulled from the highest of drawers.

It's also very nostalgic, as clips of The Driller Killer, Frozen Scream and Nightmares in a Damaged Brain et al are shown.

Fictitious film Deranged (ironically a real 1974 yarn of same name) is blamed for unnamed man murdering wife and kids.

Unfortunately, interesting subplot of Amnesiac Killer goes nowhere, as dialogue states he never pushed play.

After taking Church's sequel way too far, Enid kills Beast Man and decapitates North.

Unimpressed with outlandish claim, Alice flees.

'Nina' suddenly appears and they drive off to visit parents.

Any chance of a happy ending is soon eliminated, as beautifully shot sequence glitching reveals peeps are absolutely terrified, strongly suggesting that Enid killed sibling.

Well that's my take anyway.

Friday, 20 August 2021

Don't Breathe 2 - The scoop and digest

First time director Rodo Sayagues (who co-wrote screenplay with Fede Álvarez) takes a different approach to hit original.

Stephen Lang - The Blind Man/Norman Nordstrom
Brendan Saxton III - Raylan
Madelyn Grace - Phoenix/Tara

Summary

8 years after original, Norman (revealed to be a former Navy SEAL) has isolated himself from society and lives with daughter Phoenix, who was orphaned after a house fire.

A news broadcast reports an organ trafficking ring is operating in the local area.

Members track Phoenix down and despite Norm dishing out pain (and receiving some of his own), she's eventually kidnapped.

After gang leader Raylan (Phoenix's real father) torches humble abode, Norm tools up and literally goes all Liam fucking Neeson.

They have taken his daughter.  He will look for them, he will find them... and he will kill them.

Post-credits

Baddie's dog licks Norm's hand and fingers slightly move.

Ridiculous

Lang puts in a good shift (again) and there's some decent violence, but overall, Taken clone was very predictable and pretty ordinary.

House burned down because meth laboratory caused an explosion. Smoke from chemicals poisoned mother's blood, badly damaging her heart.

So agenda was not out of love, but to save his wife.

Norm breaking through window to attack gang member is identical to Michael doing the same to Laurie in Halloween (2018).

Going further, latter ripped off Friday the 13th (2009), which paid homage to Friday the 13th Part 2.

Finally, considering Norm is guilty of rape and murder, why is he now a hero?

(Rolls eyes).

Tuesday, 17 August 2021

Free Guy - The scoop and digest

Open-world video game inspired action comedy is directed by Shawn Levy.

Ryan Reynolds - Guy
Jodie Comer - Millie/Molotov Girl
Lil Rel Howery - Buddy
Utkarsh Ambudkar - Mouser
Joe Keery - Keys
Taika Waititi - Antwan

Summary

For bank teller Guy, life in Free City couldn't be better.

However, dying multiple times and waking in a time loop soon complicates matters.

After stealing a pair of sunglasses, he sees the world very differently.

'Blue Shirt' goes viral and becomes a global phenomenon for playing the goodie.

Guy is pissing off Soonami founder Antwan, as exploits are affecting the sales of Free City 2: Carnage.

With NPC achieving sentience, Life Itself creators Millie and Keys have 48 hours to prevent sequel's launch or servers will shut down Free City.

Crowd-pleaser

Immediately comparable to Ready Player One, The Lego Movie, Groundhog Day and even They Live, this was hugely enjoyable.

Due to time loop theme, it's also similar to the more adult Boss Level.

Beautiful special effects are complemented by impressive set-pieces and Zak Penn's sharp screenplay places cherry on top of charming sundae.

Free City was inspired by GTA III and IV's Liberty City, and there's more than a side helping of Fortnite.

Soonami is a play on TV series Toonami, which could easily be confused with defunct developer Zoonami.

Also, Konami.

While leads are eminently watchable, Waititi's zany villain steals the show.

Amusingly, character really does live up to his reputation as a dick.

References

Mega Man

Guy fights off avatars with Mega Buster.

Portal

Millie uses titular gun on several occasions.

Half-Life 2

Gravity gun appears.

And best of all.

Resident Evil

At some point early on, robber's suit displays RPD.

Coincidence? I don't think so.

Sunday, 15 August 2021

16 bits, 2 bytes - Final Event

What began in April 2013 finally concludes.

Let's do this, one more time.

DinoCity, Irem 1992

Obscurity is adapted from 1991 TV movie Adventures in Dinosaur City.

After touching their father's science device, Jamie and Timmy are inadvertently transported to the prehistoric era.

In order to get home, they must return the fuse Mr. Big's Neanderthal gang The Rockeys stole from power station. 

Team Rex (Tyrannosaur) for Timmy or Team Tops (Protoceratops) for Jamie.

Instead of simultaneous, we have to settle for alternate play.

Tops flings darts and Rex is limited to biffing and swinging tail.

Dismounting makes dinos immobile and 'platforms' are essential to access new areas.

Adventure contains caves, jungles, ice caverns and desert, with a variety of stock, albeit cute enemies including seals, hedgehogs and obviously dinosaurs.

Oh, cavewoman Cindy was considered way too booby, so redrawn for EU/NA versions.

Bosses are pretty bizarre, ranging from a dude trying to crush you with his pole and Trampo Bird shitting out young on a trapeze.

Mr. Big shrinks, grows and teleports.

Not that it's a particularly difficult game, but passwords are always welcome.

Japanese version Dinosaurs made things way too easy by increasing health and giving unlimited continues.

The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Nintendo 1991

Simply the best?

Maybe.

In the kingdom of Hyrule, legend told of a Golden power in a hidden land.  After many died trying to enter, the King ordered seven wise men to seal gate forever.

Evil wizard Agahnim killed the King and made wise men's descendants vanish.

The destiny of Princess Zelda is drawing near.

Returning to the top-down perspective of original, fabulous affair is flip-screen in dungeon or house and free roaming outside.

We can assign bombs, arrows and boomerangs, with explosive device also used to reveal secret areas.

Cue iconic jingle.

As well as magic, other weapons include ice and fire rods.

Rupees are used to buy essential items (like Zora's Flippers) and talking to some peeps instigate side quests.

Huge playing area includes Kakariko Town, Death Mountain and Lost Woods.

Obtaining the three Pendants of Virtue (Courage, Wisdom and Power) are necessary to wield Master Sword and ultimately used to kill Agahnim, whose evil magic turned Golden Land into the Dark World.

When seal was broken, it provided 'a link between worlds'.

Did dialogue inspire title of 2013 3DS game?

I'm on the fence.

Once in the Dark World, Link must rescue descendants of the Seven Sages imprisoned in the Palace of Darkness, each guarded by Ganon's minions.

Agahnim must be faced twice before yielding, and from his body emerges through Ganon as a bat.

You see, Dark Wizard was his alter ego.

Once bastard's goose is cooked inside the Pyramid of Power, Link touches the Triforce and restores the Dark World and Hyrule back to previous states.

Before end credits roll, game recalls people met and lands conquered.

With that, the Master Sword sleeps again... FOREVER!

Hmmm.

Demolition Man, Virgin Interactive 1995

While not stated, action begins pretty much like it does in film, with Spartan bungee jumping from helicopter.

After massacring several baddies on rooftops, we soon jump straight to San Angeles 2032 (without fighting Phoenix).

While most settings are taken from movie, some aren't.

Highlights are monorail, library, steam tunnels and underground wasteland host to mutant creatures.

Exactly what you'd fucking expect.

To be fair, liberties taken in cryogenic prison can be forgiven.

Crane machine causes mischief and Phoenix must be frozen with ice bombs and shot.

Once energy is nil, he explodes like the T-1000.

Any respect I had is ruined by ending message.

Having rid the world of the nastiest criminal in two centuries, the Mayor presents you with the key to the city.

HA HA HA!

Graphics are acceptable and I've controlled worse, but music is atrocious and digitised speech from Stallone and Snipes never fits situation.

Mega Drive is identical in principle (with better sound) and Mega CD's grainy FMV connects stages.

3DO version boasted footage of Snipes and Stallone shot exclusively for shit storm.

Game is basically a skid mark of genres, but Doom sections are decent I suppose.

Mulling things over, entire thing smacks of the home computer versions of Terminator 2: Judgment Day (ntbcw T2: The Arcade Game), especially horrifically bad fighting sections.

System's only compatible lightgun the Gamegun can be daisy-chained to standard controller for shooting galleries.

Unless you owned Mad Dog McCree, peripheral was next to useless.

Wild Guns, Natsume 1994

Splicing sci-fi and steampunk, this is unashamedly Cabal (more specifically spiritual sequel Blood Bros.).

Whatever - it's great.

Singularly or co-operatively, choose from either space bounty hunter Clint or vengeful gunslinger Annie, who has a personal vendetta against the Kid family. 

Yes, they look nothing like Clint Eastwood and Annie Oakley.

Ahem.

Gorgeous visuals, a wicked assortment of weaponry, bags of variety and superb bosses guarantees an absolute blast.

Oh, we can destroy backgrounds too.

Enhanced this gen remake Reloaded added extra stages and two new characters Bullet and Doris.

Ranma ½: Hard Battle, Atelier Double 1992

The second game based on the 80's manga hid in the shadows during SF II's popularity.

Keeping with source material's comedic tone, it's all appropriately farcical.

Each character has their own story, but all are ultimately manipulated by Principal Kuno into kicking the ass of eight opponents.

Instead of the usual case of going through the motions, special moves are activated by charging the d-pad in conjunction with an attack button, and releasing said button.

The longer button is held, the stronger the attack.

Ranma (male and female), Genma, Shampoo, Mousse, Akane et al join the show.

Pantyhose is playable upon defeat and Happosai only becomes his final opponent in single player.

Unlike Pantyhose, we need a code to control Happosai.

Gameplay is a bit clunky, but not disastrous.

English dubs of original Japanese voices are hilariously awful though.

Certain stages taking place at different times of day is nice and surely lifted straight from Fatal Fury.

Unlike SNK's classic franchise, transitions are dependant on form.

The 7th Saga, Produce! 1993

Underappreciated RPG is the final SNES game I'll be covering.

Hold back the tears guys.

5000 years ago, Saro defeated Gorsia with the power of 7 magical runes, but as millennia past, they got lost.

Saro's son King Lemele (already 100 years young) got the better of nasty demon Gariso and became a hero.  He challenges seven highly trained warriors to find the runes hidden on planet Ticodera so they can rule the world in his place.

Whether human or alien, characters are an odd bunch.

Each have their own pros and cons, together with the usual stats of HP, MP, Speed, Power etc.

Whoever is chosen, the remaining six set off on their own in this dog eat dog quest.

Your crystal ball is very innovative.

If spots move, it's an enemy, and if large or bright; indicate town and rune respectively.

Although pseudo motion tracker can be swarming with monsters, this doesn't reflect reality.

Enemies are invisible until you bump into one or they find you, so it's possible to avoid battles.

Having said that, how some move in turn-based Mode 7 playing field make it very difficult to not lock horns.

Unique characters will join party (max of three) and we're able to swap between in battle.

Once they've served purpose, expect them to leave.

Runes can be found, defeating boss or fighting central character already in possession.

If player facing off against another 'playable' mammal loses, your stuff will be taken by victor.

Adding to the excitement is bounty hunter Pison, who is hired at random to kill any of five 'competitors' per game.

The power of Wind, Star, Water, Sky, Moon and Light can be exploited in battle, including anything from restoring energy, to doubling attack and improving offense.

Wait, that's only six - so where's the seventh?

Patience.

More exposition.

Lemele confined Gariso to the Dark World.  The latter tried to summon monsters by using Moonlight, but King stopped him.  Despite this, baddie somehow escaped.

Moonlight is actually a person and located in the Cave of Silence.

We learn all seven runes are required to seal his evil power.

Guess who carries the last?

Hmmm.

Overwhelming black demon bags Wizard rune.

Roll credits.

Not quite, and this is when story really gets clever.

Killing end boss only succeeds in giving runes back to Gorsia who was posing as Lemele all along.

In case the penny hasn't dropped, Gariso never existed and name is an anagram of Gorsia.

Lemele has actually been dead for five years.  During which, Gorsia came through the time tunnel and regained his power.  Consequently, your ass is banished to the Dark World.

Eat your heart out M. Night Shyamalan.

Story picks up 5000 years in the past.

Saro sealed Gorsia's power in each rune, but he fled to the future.  Knowing he couldn't retrieve the runes himself, Gorsia sent us instead.

Devious bastard.

Gorsia returned from the future and killed Saro.

Following a series of boss battles, Saro's soul removes curse so we can use runes against Gorsia.

Courtesy of Saro's loyal servants, the runes are ours.

Antagonist is imprisoned by chains, a monster seemingly trapped in flesh.

Fucking creepy.

And the final killer twist.

In a final act of defiance before dying, Gorsia murders player.  4900 years later, Saro reincarnates character as his son, who is of course 'Lemele'.

Mind. Blown.

Because there's only one outcome, hero is trapped in an endless loop.

Can't help but respect downer ending.

The future?

Diving into another system's library is tempting, but I want to focus energies on other projects.

If I did another set, I'd choose Amiga or PS1.

But considering how long either would take, it's highly unlikely.

Sunday, 8 August 2021

The Suicide Squad - The scoop and digest

Writer/director James Gunn hopes to erase the psychological trauma of David Ayer's Suicide Squad.

Margot Robbie - Harley Quinn
Idris Elba - Bloodsport
John Cena - Peacemaker
Joel Kinnaman - Colonel Rick Flag
Viola Davis - Amanda Waller
Sylvester Stallone - King Shark
Peter Capaldi - Thinker

Summary

After a chaotic opening (where Savant, Captain Boomerang, Blackguard, Javelin, T.D.K. and Mongal all die), we flashback 3 days earlier at Belle Reve with Bloodsport serving time for putting Supes in ICU with a Kryptonite bullet.

To protect his criminal daughter Tyla, our man is blackmailed by Waller into teaming up with Peacemaker, King Shark, Ratcatcher 2 and Polka-Dot Man to infiltrate scientific research facility at Jötunheim and destroy all evidence of Project Starfish.

You see, extra-terrestrial lifeform falling into the hands of Silvio Lunar and right-hand man Mateo Suarez would be cataclysmic for the world.

Mission start.

Extra scenes

Weasel is revealed to have not drowned.

Waller's outfit visit a comatose Peacemaker who might just save the fucking world.

DC goes all Deadpool

Visually gorgeous, bloody and foul-mouthed, standalone sequel largely hits the spot.

Killing off x amount of characters is identical in principle to Deadpool 2, but done in a serious rather than humorous way.

Screenplay occasionally raised a smile but never had me laugh out loud.

Action sequences are very stylish and choreography kicks ass.

Leaving a trail of cartoonish destruction in her wake, Harley has the most fun.

Starro the Conqueror rampaging through city is a sight to behold and plague of rats chewing monster to death from the inside was a fitting demise.

Soundtrack is typically great, and Zack Snyder serving as an executive producer is presumably why The Jim Carroll Band's People Who Died is heard.

Yeah, tune formed part of the end credits to Dawn of the Dead.

Maybe I'm among the minority, but apart from one very cool shot of King Shark ripping a dude in half, everything else about CG freak sucked.

Despite some issues, this pisses on previous abomination.

Having said that - how could it not?

Friday, 6 August 2021

Asset Plagiarism - Opening Theft

In my opinion, this is the ultimate 'fuck you'.

As a warm up exercise, check out the exploits of SunA.


Limbo of the Lost

From what I understand, title is taken from John Wallace Spencer's novel of same name, originally published in 1969.

Initially intended for Amiga and Atari ST, point-and-click was redeveloped for PC and released in March 2008.

All images taken from LOTL (together with source) and side by side comparisons (when appropriate).

Spawn
Pirates of the Caribbean (aka Sea Dogs II)
This isn't in the game, but appears in bonus disc
Enclave
Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
One of several examples...
Weapons and armour are from The Elder Scrolls III: Morrorwind and headwear is actually a Duskdeep Helm from Diablo II.
One more.

Bone Shield (also from Diablo II).
Others falling foul were Return to Castle Wolfenstein, Thief: Deadly Shadows, Painkiller and World of Warcraft.

They even robbed sound samples from Serious Sam: The First Encounter (Indiana Jones whistle) and 'cheering' from Carmageddon (when race is won).

Before continuing, check this out.

Swinging guillotine vs Dark Passion Play - Nightwish


Err.

More random shit.

Fluffy writing vs Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series


What the font?

If name wasn't enough, Harry Potter fans turn away now.


Oddly, it's not a direct copy and paste job.

And the beat goes on.

Ogre vs Cave Troll - The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring


Faggot vs Meg Mucklebones - Legend


Less said about name the better.

Normal service is resumed.

Marybeth Louise Hutchinson - The Faculty
Kennel Thing - The Thing
Finally.

Beetlejuice


It took just three months for game to be withdrawn from sale.

Can't think why?

Still, batshit crazy ending song 'King of Limbo' has gone down in history.

Francesco Mattina

Italian visual artist has created promotional material for blockbusters such as Avengers: Infinity War and Spider-Man: Homecoming.

While obviously very talented, he ain't Mr. Clean. 

Venom Jean Grey vs Dark Phoenix - Ian Macdonald


Flash vs Nova - Alex Garner


Batman: Death in the Family vs Mad - Zeen Chin


Jean Grey vs Mary Jane Watson - Jeehyung Lee


Music

Pushing play.

After Bach - Brad Mehldau (2018) vs Holes in the Wall - The Electric Soft Parade (2002)


Watery, Demise EP - Pavement (1992) vs Ambergris - Ambergris (1970)


Other Worlds - Taken by Trees (2 October 2012) vs Allah-Las - Allah-Las (18 September 2012)


Parklife - Blur (1994) vs Then and Now - Dub Sex (1988)


Flipping greyhounds.

Caravaggio - Giovanni Sollima (2012) vs London Calling - The Clash (1979)


Album covers. Silhouettes in disguise.

I Am the Enemy - Bleeding Diamonds single (2018) vs Futility Report - White Ward (2017)


The 20/20 Experience - Justin Timberlake (2013) vs 20/20 - Saga (2012)

Plot twist.

Insomniac - Green Day (1995)
Eye exam device is a phoropter, aka refractor.

Film posters

Now things get even weirder.

Live by Fire - Enforcer (2015) vs Land of the Minotaur (1976) aka The Devil's Men


Catharsis - Machine Head (2018) vs Growth (2010)


Scarabus - Ian Gillan Band (1977) vs The Witch Who Came from the Sea (1976)


Hidden psychological horror gem ripped off a 1970 Frank Frazetta painting.

Woman with a Scythe
New Fantasia and Super Model

South Korean video game developer Comad largely specialised in eroticism and cloning Kaneko's Gals Panic (which raped the gameplay of Taito's Qix).

The following makes absolutely no fucking sense, and I'd be disappointed if it did.

Body Snatchers
Hellraiser
Female Cenobite (Hellbound: Hellraiser II) and Angelique (Hellraiser: Bloodline) appear in Miss World '96 and Fantasia 2 respectively.

More from New Fantasia.

If one Freddy Krueger wasn't enough, how about several.
Glorious trip doesn't appear in any film, which makes imagery even more bizarre.

And one from Super Model.

Return of the Living Dead 3
But the prize goes to Fantasy '95.

Donald Sutherland screaming and pointing at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) couldn't be more out of place.
What possessed them?

HA HA HA!

DVD

Thirst¹ (1979) vs Against the Dark


Night of the Demons² (1988) vs Haunted Echoes


Nightlight vs Black Water Vampire


Dark Amazon vs Babysitter Wanted


The House³ vs Somebody Help Me


Someone's Knocking at the Door vs Death by Engagement


Wow, bitch really got around.

¹2009 artwork.
²2011 artwork for original (ntbcw 2009 remake of same name).
³2012 artwork.  For some reason, it took five years for Baan phii sing (Thai title) to get a UK release. 

Until next time.