Monday, 31 March 2025

Peter Pan's Neverland Nightmare - The scoop and digest

Scott Chambers (who portrayed Christopher Robin in Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2), writes and directs the third instalment of The Twisted Childhood Universe.

Megan Placito - Wendy Darling
Martin Portlock - Peter Pan
Kit Green - Tinker Bell
Peter de Souza-Feighoney - Michael Darling

Summary

At a fantasy-themed circus, Peter Pan mimes for children and gives a balloon animal to a boy called James.

After the show, Peter kidnaps James at his home, but before killing her, the mother mutilates his face.

15 years later.

Peter has ditched the clown make-up and sometimes wears a doll mask to hide his disfigurement.

After eventually kidnapping Michael Darling, he calls the house and tells his mother Mary that he's been taken to Neverland. 

When Peter adds Michael's best friend Joey to his crackhouse ranch, Wendy follows and rolls up rescuing sleeves.

Pixie dust

Say what you will about these controversial horror re-imaginings, but they are definitely improving. 

At the start, Peter talks to James from a basement hatch (The Evil Dead) and does a direct impression of Bill Skarsgård's Pennywise in It (2017).  Other times, he's Joaquin Phoenix's Arthur Fleck.

Also, plot draws heavily from The Black Phone.

Performances are strong, particularly from Placito and Portlock, and I liked what they did with Tinks (drug-addicted hag) and Hook (Candyman wannabe James).

In terms of gore - this delivers.  We get multiple stabbings, fingers bitten off, a head scalping and limbs removed.

However, the punishment Peter and Wendy dish out on each other gets ridiculous, almost Terrifier-esque.

Neverland is a place that exists only inside Peter's head and he occasionally hallucinates a shadow of a boy flying on the wall.  Yes it's meant to be Disney's animated version of character, but cannot be explicitly shown due to copyright.

Ending leaves door open for a sequel which would explore Neverland further, but obviously depends on box-office performance.

Sunday, 30 March 2025

Cleaner (2025) - The scoop and digest

Martin Campbell's action thriller is unrelated to 2007 film of same name.

Daisy Ridley - Joanna "Joey" Locke
Taz Skylar - Noah Santos
Matthew Tuck - Michael Locke
Ruth Gemmell - DS Hume
Rufus Jones - Geoffrey Milton
Lee Boardman - Gerald Milton
Clive Owen - Marcus Blake
Flavia Watson - Zee

Summary

When her abusive father starts on her autistic brother Michael, Joey blocks shit out by sitting outside on a window ledge.

20 years later, Joey works as a window cleaner for Agnian Energy, owned by brothers and CEO's Geoffrey and Gerald Milton.

On the night of a shareholder gala, a bunch of masked Gods show up.  But performers are actually members of radical environmental group Earth Revolution.

Via archive footage, Marcus Blake reveals that Agnian is dirtier than a baby's nappy, as company makes a fortune from destroying eco-systems and secretly murder whoever before they can expose the truth in court.

Among the victims was one of their own - Elena.

Joey alerts the police and ex-soldier must get inside and save the fucking day.

All flesh is grass

Essentially another Die Hard rip off, but certainly one of the better examples.

Joey - John McClane
Zee - female Theo
Hume - Al Powell

Marcus is initially Hans Gruber and Noah stands in for Karl, but as right-hand man murders leader early doors, Noah becomes Hans.

Oh, Agnian Tower is the equivalent of Nakatomi Plaza.

Although things don't really kick off until the final 30 minutes, close-quarters combat is pretty cool.

Here's the weird thing.

Noah wears a dead man's switch synched to his pulse, so if his heart stops beating, the whole building will explode.

Ma-Ma does the same thing in Dredd.

Coincidence?

Wednesday, 26 March 2025

The Legacy of Double Dragon

Nekketsu Kōha Kunio-kun, the first game in Technōs long-running Kunio-kun series hit arcades in 1986.

It was localised in the West as Renegade and spawned a home computer spin-off series, with sequels Target Renegade (1988) and Renegade III: The Final Chapter (1989)

Shit laid the foundation for Double Dragon, and although side-scrolling martial arts action was predated by Irem's Kung-Fu Master (1984), Yoshihisa Kishimoto's game established the general template and even made Capcom change Final Fight (originally intended to be a sequel to Street Fighter) into a beat 'em up.

While all that's very interesting, let's begin.

Arcade flyer

Jimmy (red) and Billy (blue) are tattooed Spike and Hammer respectively.
Of course, it should be the other way around, and whether this was intentional (as opposed to artist fucking up) remains unknown.

Whatever, others presumably took note.

Resident Evil 3
Super C - promo poster
Red Heat
Stakeout (2020)
Dead Heat
Turning shit up.

Bad Dudes vs. Dragon Ninja


Hamburger anybody?

Joe Blade II

Cover art vs Abobo


Loading screen in C64 version seals the deal.

Vest breaks through wall
Wow!

One more.

Violent Storm (1993)
Dabel (revealed to be a mutant pig humanoid) makes his mutant presence known. 
As far as piss takes go, there is none more blatant than Sunsoft/Sega collaboration Tough Turf.


HA HA HA!

It's like something you'd expect from a fucking Korean bootleg.

Miscellany

Vendetta (1991) has characters pick up crate instead of box.


Knee's up


Crime Fighters
Final Fight
Streets of Rage
Marian


NAM-1975
Zero Team
Mad City¹ (1988) - Famicom


¹Revised North American/PAL version The Adventures of Bayou Billy exposed more of Annabelle.


Double Dragon Neon (2012)

Stage screen uses the same sprite as the NES port of Double Dragon II: The Revenge.


Love this.

Mistranslated mutants Bimmy 'n' Jammy
Boss is a direct nod to the NES version of Double Dragon III: The Sacred Stones.

Bimmy and Jimmy
Double Impact (1991)

While penning screenplay with Van Damme, director Sheldon Lettich took inspiration from Alexandre Dumas 1844 novella The Corsican Brothers, about twins separated at birth who find each other in adulthood.

Fair enough.

But I see something else.

Poster vs flyer


Just like the Lee brothers, Chad and Alex Wagner face an army of bad guys.


Villains ring suspicious bells of regular enemies and bosses.

Kara vs Linda


Bodyguard with Spurs vs Jeff


Moon vs Abobo


Although Abobo can't throw oil drums, Roper isn't so hampered, a tactic Bolo employs against Chad.


Doom (1993)

Yeah, grab that Big Fucking Gun and get ready to pull the trigger.

Status bar face reacts to the environment in various ways.
Common knowledge I know.

But few would make this comparison. 

Target Renegade (1988)
Status bar eyes does the same thing and unique to C64 version.
Surely coincidence?

Double Dragon Gaiden: Rise of the Dragons (2023)

This is going against the grain, but what the hell, right?

Modelling itself on River City Ransom, spin-off is set before the first game and features roguelike elements, tag team action and an unlockable roster of up to 13 characters.

New York City is ruled by four major gangs.
L-R: Killers, Royals, Triangle and Okada.
In Renegade, unnamed street brawler also must defeat four different gangs to rescue his girlfriend from a mob boss.

Intro vs Double Dragon III: The Rosetta Stone - arcade ending


And.

Double Dragon III: The Rosetta Stone - Famicom
Ending vs Double Dragon II: The Revenge - arcade ending


Well they're both photographs.

The Royals' hideout contains a section inside a train, displaying real shit.

Battletoads - NES


Akira (left) and The Warriors (right)



Devs sure had great taste.