Sunday, 8 November 2015

Spectre - The scoop and digest

Skyfall is lauded by many as being the best Bond ever.

Without sounding like a cracked record, you'll never beat Goldfinger...

Drunk with hype and bursting with budget, Sam Mendes returns for Bond 24.

Just to annoy, I'm reliably informed Specter is supernatural found-footage bullshit.

Daniel Craig - James Bond
Léa Seydoux - Dr. Swann
Christoph Waltz - Oberhauser
Ben Whishaw - Q
Ralph Fiennes - M
Naomie Harris - Moneypenny
Dave Bautista - Mr. Hinx
Jesper Christensen - Mr. White

Day of the Dead, Mexico City.

What a shame actual holiday didn't invite a few zombies.

Anyway, Live and Let Die.

Bond chases a geezer through town and before forcing him out of a chopper, takes ring as a souvenir.

The Writing's on the Wall.

Reportedly taking about 20 minutes for Sam Smith to write, it shows.

Also, tentacled title sequence is rubbish too.

In London, M 'grounds' Bond for unauthorised business in Mexico and new guy Max is christened C.

The '00' programme is to be dissolved and replaced with Nine Eyes, a global intelligence co-operation agreement.

Guess writers watched Rogue Nation.

Moneypenny is shown a posthumous video message left by Judi Dench ordering Bond to kill Sciarra.

I dread to think how much she pocketed for about 10 seconds of screen time.

Q a timepiece later, Bond ignores suspension and attends Sciarra's funeral in Rome.

Widow is a little miffed at first but even so, having sex with your husband's killer is apparently the best way to deal with grief...

Using ring to enter meeting, a guy shrouded in darkness recognises Bond, and mystery geezer's top assassin Mr. Hinx gives chase behind wheel.

Bond asks Moneypenny to run a check on Mr. White and Franz Oberhauser.

Remember Harvey Keitel's namesake in Reservoir Dogs?

Yes, unforgettable.

High speed pursuit ends with Bond activating emergency evac chair from Aston Martin DB10.

Over in Austria, Bond chews the gristle with White who is dying of thallium poisoning.

Before pulling the trigger on himself, Bond promises to protect his daughter Dr. Swann.

Plane ensures Hinx's snatching of Swann only gets so far, but brick shithouse lives to fight another day.

Sciarra's ring links Oberhauser to Bond's past assignments and Swann announces organisation is Spectre.

Swann and Bond make haste to L'Americain, a hotel daddy regularly frequented in Tangier, Morocco.

Sure enough, clues of Spectre's secrets are found hidden behind wall.

Barely boarding choo choo, Hinx interrupts vodka martini party.

Hinx overpowers Bond, but Swann opening fire provides the necessary distraction for him to be thrown off train.

"Shit!"

Considering that's his only word of dialogue -  awful.

I'd confidently suggest this being a tribute to Connery's excellent scrap with Robert Shaw's Red Grant from 1963 classic From Russia with Love.

They're taken to Oberhauser's desert hideout and Bond is drilled in specific places for tortuous entertainment.

Drum roll please...

After faking his death 20 years ago, Oberhauser became Blofeld, or the author of Bond's pain.

Soft white feline receives a stroke, reffing Pussy Galore.

Cocky bastard C is in fact Blofeld's chief of intelligence so Nine Eyes must be prevented from going online.

Their inevitable escape is courtesy of Q's watch going bang.

Back in England's capital, C falls to his death after scuffle with M and Bond is bundled into a van.

Overcoming goons, Bond enters dilapidated MI6 headquarters and finds a now disfigured Blofeld in bulletproof container.

No sooner than rescuing Swann from an explosive fate, Bond shoots down Blofeld's chopper and scarface is detained by M.

Arriving at Q's lockup, he and Swann disappear burning classic vehicular rubber.

Yes it's good, but at the same time, I felt somewhat underwhelmed.

Installing Blofeld as boss to previous villains is both inspired and lazy.

Although underused, Waltz is good and the rest carry on regardless.

Set-pieces blow a blustery rather than gale force wind, but stunts are fantastically ridiculous.

Craig will be back for one more ride but unless contract dictates, maybe it's time for Sam Mendes to get the 007 out of here.

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