Saturday, 8 July 2017

Spider-Man: Homecoming - The scoop and digest

Serving as a spin-off to Captain America: Civil War, Jon Watts dives into the MCU with second Spidey reboot.

Tom Holland - Peter Parker/Spider-Man
Michael Keaton - Adrian Toomes/Vulture
Jon Favreau - Happy Hogan
Robert Downey Jr. - Tony Stark/Iron Man
Jacob Batalon - Ned
Marisa Tomei - May Parker
Laura Harrier - Liz
Zendaya - Michelle 'M.J.' Jones

In 2012, some time after the events of Civil War, Tony Stark creates the Department of Damage Control (D.O.D.C) which puts scrap dealer Adrian Toomes out of business.

Toomes uses Chitauri alien technology already salvaged from the Battle of New York to build a criminal empire.

Eight months later, Peter Parker, or to high school rival Flash, 'Penis' Parker, quits school to focus on the Stark Internship, a front for Spider-Man fighting crime.

Don't miss obligatory Stan Lee cameo as old man Gary observing from apartment block.

Amidst goofing about to the sound Blitzkrieg Bop, best friend Ned discovers Peter's secret identity and chubby chappie helps disable suit's tracking device and unlocks its secret features.

For shits and giggles, Spider-Man (a cover of theme song from the original 60s television series), appears on numerous CD versions of Ramones albums, including Mondo Bizarro and ¡Adios Amigos!

Interesting, right?

We're told web shooter has hundreds of combinations, but of course only a few are shown, including rapid fire and web grenade.

Spidey is unsuccessful in stopping Toomes half-inching weapons from one of Stark's trucks and eventually knocked out.

Awaking inside derelict warehouse, suit lady is christened K.A.R.E.N.

By the way, Jennifer Connelly voices AI.

During an arms deal, Mac Gargan (Scorpion) is captured and Toomes escapes.

After picking up Liz on the way to homecoming dance, Peter learns love interest is Toomes' daughter.

Peter's warned to keep web out of his business, or else.

Knowing another shady deal is going down, Toomes asks Peter to join him.

Rejection leads to wings causing building's support to collapse on top of Peter.

Why do film-makers persist with such clichéd bullshit, as hero obviously isn't gonna die.

(Sighs).

Peter forces fleeing plane to crash and final fight ensues.

Well, if you can call it that.

Peter saves baddie's life from unstable cores and leaves him for the cops.

Liz moves away and Michelle 'MJ' Jones takes over as president of decathlon team.

Happy takes Peter to Stark who declines the offer of becoming an Avenger.

Returning home, Peter dons upgraded suit left by Stark and Aunt May walks in exclaiming:

"What the [****]?"

Purposely editing out 'fuck' was kinda funny.

Mid-credits

Gargan approaches Toomes at the Raft, stating a bunch of criminals are planning to kill Spider-Man, surely referring to The Sinister Six.

Post-credits

During a public service announcement, Captain America states the importance of patience.

Okay then.

Sitting on the fence

Pretty good overall, but much of running time doesn't really go anywhere.

Aficionados will be quick to point out that portrayal is very much like the comics, but I just can't warm to Tom Holland.

I think the expression is 'like it or lump it'.

For the first time in live action, web-wings also debut.

Nice.

But suit is way too Iron Man.

Sensibly, back story isn't shoved down our throats, as those who don't know how Spider-Man came to be have presumably never left the confines of their cave.

Action scenes are commendable and special effects are pumped with believable CG.

Keaton delivers a menacing performance and Batalon scores with humour.

Unconfirmed yes, but we assume character was based on Ned Leeds.

OMFG!

Suit is initially very baggy, but can be adjusted to fit wearer perfectly.

Also, it has the ability to rapidly dry.

When in 2015, Marty's jacket in Back to the Future Part II has identical conveniences.

Altogether now.

HA HA HA!

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