Making 'sense' of the Rocky saga

You'd think a boxing franchise would be fairly straightforward, but...

Rocky (1976)

25 November 1975 - 1 January 1976

Rocky II (1979)

1 January 1976 - 25 November 1976

Nice and simple.

But now things bizarrely spiral out of control.

Rocky III (1982)

After Clubber goads Rocky into a fight, Mick states 'three years ago' Rocky was supernatural, confirming film (definitely before first fight) is set in 1979.

News broadcast (after defeat) confirms Rocky is 34.

If we really stretch shit out, rematch occurs in 1980.

However...

Rocky and Thunderlips raise $75,000 for youth club.

Minor detail but May 15 1982 fell on a Saturday, not Wednesday.

(Raises eyebrows).

But wait.

Mickey's headstone reads:

April 7, 1905 ✡️ August 15, 1981

So trainer died before charity bout?

Of course he 'didn't', but WHAT?

More so, Mick states he's 76 in Rocky, meaning he hasn't aged a jot since original.

What a guy.

Let's recap.

According to all the bullshit we've seen and heard, film is set in 1979/1980, 1981 and 1982.

MIND. FUCKING. BLOWN.

Rocky IV (1985)

To make things easier, just forget about third film.

Contrary to popular belief, events take place in 1985 (so at least 5 years after Apollo clouted Rocky during behind closed doors fight).

Boy, it sure took our man an awfully long time to drive home.

I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure bruising would have healed by now...

Rocky and Adrian were married in 1976 and dialogue confirms happy couple are about to celebrate their ninth anniversary.

Before Drago shows Apollo death's door, a worried Adrian says former heavyweight great has been retired for almost five years, meaning the King of Sting lost to Rocky in 1980, even though Superfight II occurred in November 1976.

The only visual clue of film taking place in 1985 is a newspaper article.

©️ 1985 News Group Publications Inc.

Fact.

David vs. Goliath takes place on 25 December.

Rocky V (1990)

25 December 1985 (briefly) - ?

I'm not sure why, but poster detail is taken from pre-credits still of Rocky IV.

Plot-holes include:

Paulie signed a Power of Attorney to Rocky's accountant, giving shady figure licence to invest fortune in a number of dodgy dealings.

Trouble is, he signed shit off before Rocky left for Russia, which never happened.

Near the beginning, random dude states that Mick willed gym to Rocky's son in 1982, so after he 'died' in 1981.

Remarkable.

But the most interesting thing about terrible sequel is Rocky Jr's age.

Rocky II (born November 1976)

Rocky III (3 or 4)

Rocky IV (9)

 And now.

Odious child has magically become a teenager.

HA HA HA!

Basically, like film, it's a load of shit.

Taking anachronisms into account, let's say embarrassing turd took about 4 years to flush.

Rocky Balboa (2006)

late 2005 - 26 February 2006

Although Rocky's age is never explicitly stated, all evidence suggests final entry takes place roughly 30 years after original.

Talia Shire made a public statement supporting Stallone's decision to kill off Adrian, with character dying of ovarian cancer on January 11, 2002.

She was born on March 10, 1950, making her 25 in original film.

More importantly, Paulie rants 'she's pushing thirty freaking years old', inferring she's nearly 30, not in her mid-twenties.

As no references are made, this arguably ignores events of V.