Video game mistakes - Take 2 (1 of 2)

Two-part edition essentially concerns Engrish, but with a ridiculous twist.

Unless stated, arcade version shown.

Cadillacs and Dinosaurs

Mustapha Cairo

But later.

Mustpha, look...
(Your name is spelled wrong).
You're right.
Somebody is going to pay!

Bravoman (PC Engine)

Pistol Lord show your skill !

I would Dr. Bomb, but there's one fucking problem.

I am the Pistol Load.

The Combatribes

Check out character profiles.

"Berserker"
Height: 7.01 ft
Weight: 176 lb

"Blitz"
Height: 6.92ft
Weight: 173 lb

Why isn't there a 'space' between 6.92 and ft?

Err.

And finally.

"Bullova"
Height: 6.85 ft
Weight: 181 lb

Nothing too sinister.

But SNES port makes things interesting (in more ways than one).

"Berzerker"
Height: 7' 1"
Weight: 246lb

Berzerker?

"Blitz"
Height: 6' 9"
Weight: 239lb

"Bullova"
Height: 6' 11"
Weight: 258lb

Height differences are minor, but other vital statistic literally adding extra beef fascinates.

Berserker - 176lb and 246lb
Blitz - 173lb and 239lb
Bullova - 181lb and 258lb

And no, I don't care if they magically became cyborgs.

Art of Fighting (Neo Geo)

Ryo or Robert fight Micky Down Town.

Moving on to vastly superior sequel.

Lanky boxer was not only redesigned, but also came back as Mickey.

But it's cool, cos' during gameplay...

He's Micky (again).

Respect.

Samurai Shodown (Neo Geo)

Tam Tam is very confused.

Oh! Great Quexiquatil !
I am yours for eternity.

In another breath.

Great Quexilcatol !
Bring light to this land.

After taking a leave of absence, he returned in Samurai Shodown IV: Amakusa's Revenge.

Some young twerp begs:
Quetzalcoatl! Save this young man's life!

Amusingly, this is the correct spelling.

HA HA HA!

Samurai Shodown II (Neo Geo)

Yes, Neinhalt Sieger.
The knight who killed your boss!

Guess what?

Thank you, Siegar.

Well asshole, you're not welcome.

Miscellany

Haohmaru debuted in original and never left.

Way down franchise's line.

Samurai Shodown: Warriors Rage (PS1)
SNK suddenly changed mainstay to Haomaru.

Also.

Genjuro was a hugely popular addition to sequel.

But in SNK vs Capcom: SVC Chaos (left) and NeoGeo Battle Coliseum (right), pink hair and outrageous pantaloons became Genjyuro.

Fucking weird.

Wonder Boy in Monster Land

Oh man, it's Giant Cong!

End credits

Red Knight, Bubbly Crab, Were Rat, Kraken, Yeti, etc etc and Giant Kong.

Well unzip my banana.

Karnov's Revenge (Neo Geo)

Bearded neanderthal Marstrius enjoys chewing chain.

Enter his impostor.

 Marstorius

Mega Man (NES)

Before hero ended evil domination and restored the world to peace, original introduced antagonist Dr. Wily.

Spin on to Mega Man 3.

Where's Dr. Wiley?...
Oh no, too late.

(Frowns).

X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse (SNES)

Charles: Job well done! One final test, X-Men. Test your skills against...

Juggernaut!

Drum roll.

Why the fuck is Beast (in this case) now brawling with Juggerhavt?

Baldie was lying by the way, as chosen goodie must dispatch Exodus and finally, Magneto.

Vendetta

Although marketed as a direct sequel to Crime Fighters in Japan, Konami's intention was stand-alone.

Bios

Blood
Ex-Prize Fighter

Sledge
Ex-Military Convict

Character select

Blood
Ex_Prize Fighter
Sledge
Ex_Military Convict

Hyphen off and underscore me.

Double Dragon (Neo Geo)

Cheng-Fu

Turns into:

Cheng Fu

One more.

Dulton

Same in regular ending.

But defeat game in one credit.

Dalton

FFS!

I'll finish with an absolute beauty.

The Thing (DOS, PS2 and Xbox)

Report is compiled by one Dr Sean Faraday, Research Director, Gen Inc

Situation drastically evolves.

Dr Shaun Faraday has suddenly been demoted to Chief medical researcher at Gen-Inc and note name of test subject 873 (RC Whitely).

What initials stand for is never revealed, but could be a nod to R.J. MacReady.

Hello, what's this?

Faraday is 'getting increasingly worried about the mental state of Commander Whiltely'.

Going from one extreme to another?

WOW!

I too feel for subject 873, but cannot extend sympathy to developers, as I believe all and sundry injected the B4 strain of the Cloud virus (even after I personally refused them after the tests).

Final part to follow.