Gladiator II - The scoop and digest

In 2006, Russell Crowe approached singer-songwriter Nick Cave to pen a script for sequel (which turned out to be batshit).

Crowe said:

"Don't like it, mate."

Anyway, from a screenplay by regular collaborator David Scarpa, Ridley Scott returns to ancient Rome.

Paul Mescal - Lucius/Hanno

Denzel Washington - Macrinus

Pedro Pescal - General Acacius

Joseph Quinn - Geta

Fred Hechinger - Caracalla

Connie Nielsen - Lucilla

Tim McInnerny - Senator Thraex

Derek Jacobi - Senator Gracchus

Summary

16 years after the death of Marcus Aurelius, young emperors Geta and Caracalla rule Rome with an iron fist.

General Acacius' Roman army invade a city in Numidia and Lucius (initially Hanno) is taken into slavery.

At the Roman port of Ostia, our man is bought by former slave and gladiator Macrinus to profit from his gift of 'rage'.

After Lucius learns his true identity, Macrinus plots to dethrone tyrannical twins.

The gates of hell are open night and day

Ignoring historical accuracy, was I entertained?

Kinda.

Story predictably beats very similar drums, but lacks the depth or emotional clout from before.

Mutant baboons aside (what the fuck?), rhinoceros and sharks were superfluous, silly even.

Having said that, sword fights boast intensity.

Rather than Hans Zimmer and Lisa Gerrard, score is composed by Harry Gregson-Williams.

It's decent, but pale in comparison.

At least Now We Are Free plays during end credits.

Despite a valiant effort, Mescal fails to fill big sandals.  Also, put your shirt on man.

Apart from Denzel and Pedro, other characters are pretty dull.

Geta and Caracalla are essentially a version of Romulus and Remus, but unlike The Doors - didn't light my fire.

Oh, Alien: Romulus 'coincidence' is noted.

Maximus heard Lucilla had a son, but it was never outright confirmed that he was the father.

Lucius (formerly Spencer Treat Clark) briefly met 'Spaniard' in original, but neither knew each other.

Ambiguity is shat on in a new scene created purely as a plot device.

Just before he dies, a digital Crowe mentions Lucius to former lover.  Lucilla then protects wee lad by sending him away.

When Macrinus first meets Lucius, the former erroneously refers to baboons as 'apes'.

To 'contradict' error, gladiator trainer Viggo teases Lucius for eating monkeys.

(Bares teeth).

Third instalment is in very early development but age is not on director's side.