HIM (2025) - The scoop and digest

Produced under Jordan Peele's Monkeypaw banner and unrelated to 2016 miniseries of same name, Justin Tipping directs and co-writes sports-themed horror with Skip Bronkie and Zack Akers.

Marlon Wayans - Isaiah White

Tyriq Withers - Cameron "Cam" Cade

Julia Fox - Elsie White

Tim Heidecker - Tom

Don Benjamin - Cam Sr.

Jim Jeffries - Marco

Summary

A young Cameron Cade watches the San Antonio Saviors win the 67th USFF Championship, but his idol Isaiah White is badly injured in the process.

Fourteen years later, Cam is the next big thing.

One night while training alone, he's knocked unconscious by a person in a goat costume.

He takes a call from his agent Tom who reveals that Isaiah is planning retirement, and wants to train him at his isolated desert compound.

When Cam arrives, Isaiah confiscates his cell phone and lists the rules:

"No phone calls, no porn, no OnlyFans, just football."

Well that sucks.

Isaiah puts Cam through various challenges and on-site doctor Marco secretly injects him with a mysterious liquid, which Cam believes to be a type of performance enhancing drug.

As time goes by, Cam realises host's motives are anything but benign.

Gift from the Gods

An interesting concept is butchered by piss poor execution.

Film spans six Days:

Fun, Poise, Leadership, Resilience, Vision and Sacrifice.

Apart from curious dialogue, rubbish music and bizarre acting, we're also bombarded with crazy filters, smacking of Plumbers Don't Wear Ties.

Oh sorry my bad, this actually fucking moves.

Here's the preposterous climax.

Isaiah is part of a blood lineage which manufacturers G.O.A.T. players.  As there can be only one (insert Highlander reference here), they fight to the death and Cam bludgeons Isaiah with a helmet.

Cam enters a football field, where animal masks present a contract for him to sign.  He refuses, and murders everybody except Tom, who is dragged to a pentagram and blown up by an unseen force.

HA HA HA!

A bloodied Cam nonchalantly walks past cheerleaders and into the desert.

Following critical acclaim, HER is already in active development.

Only kidding guys.