Undercover Cops,
Varie 1995
Set in the same post-apocalyptic universe as In the Hunt, Air Duel and GunForce II, Irem's brutal brawler is one of the best alternatives to Final Fight.
New York City, 2043.
City Sweepers (Zan, Matt and Rosa) are sent to take down the insane Dr. Crayborn and his eccentric cronies.
Gameplay is food and drink.
Beat the ever loving shit out of whatever freak of nature stands in your way.
Graphics and sound translate pretty well, but the biggest problem is lack of co-op play.
Fair enough, only the insane would expect arcade's 3P, but 2P isn't asking much.
Japanese only port is also subject to odd censorship, as boobs of female enemies are less exposed and not a single drop of blood is spilled.
Dragon: The Bruce Lee
Story, Virgin Interactive 1995
Based on Rob Cohen's 1993 film of same name, we taste the same gravy as Mega Drive and Jaguar.
Pseudo one-on-one fighter recreates key action sequences against authentic backdrops.
Special moves are available once chi meter is filled.
From the final day of shooting The Big Boss in 1970, to 32nd day of Enter the Dragon, story is told via digitised screens and dialogue.
Inevitably, the evil Shogun awaits.
Available either in story or battle mode, 3P is a novelty, and clones are differentiated by coloured pants.
Graphics are decent but sluggish gameplay spoils things.
For whatever reason, Master System and Game Gear versions enforced platform action.
Star Fox, Nintendo/Argonaut
Software 1993
When released in Europe, it was renamed Starwing.
Why?
Was it because of a 1983 Atari 2600 game of same name or similarly titled 1987 computer game Starfox?
No. The real reason was to avoid a potential court case with communications firm StarVox, because in a thick German accent, 'F' is pronounced like a 'V'.
So unlike Contra, it was down to paranoia, rather than censorship.
But was the excellent N64 reboot called Starwing 64 in Europe?
Don't be silly, as the big N settled on Lylat Wars.
(Frowns).
By the time Star Fox Adventures came out in 2002, there was no name change, so either said company was defunct or it was decided nobody would give a shit.
Anyway...
Even though much of Namco's Starblade is ripped off, original was superb.
Back in the day, North American import set me back a pretty ridiculous £65.
Considering £50 was the norm, that was rather extreme.
Beneath the plastic hid Super FX, a custom-made graphics accelerator chip capable of rendering hundreds of polygons simultaneously, ensuring rail shooter's graphics were nothing short of jaw-dropping.
As on-board processor ran at over 10 MHz, 3D models zipped around nicely and without too much slowdown.
While X on Game Boy previously gave 3D a bash, we'd never seen anything like it on a console.
General Pepper enlists Fox McCloud, and his anthropomorphic friends Peppy Hare, Slippy Toad and Falco Lombardi, to step inside respective Arwings and protect Corneria from evil ape Andross, who having been banished to Venom; declared war on the Lylat System.
We can adjust to life by giving Training a whirl, which primarily involves flying through rings.
Don't worry, actual game is more exciting than Superman 64.
Chosen route not only dictates difficulty, but also determines which path is taken to Venom.
Action is viewed third-person (occasionally first-person), and while lasers do the talking, we can also barrel roll, accelerate, decelerate and nuke.
CPU controlled wingmen often cry out for help and player is under no obligation to do so.
Great stuff.
While human chitter chatter is perfectly legible, friends babbling a banquet of bullshit adds to the charm.
Music is appropriately dramatic and has a real cinematic feel.
We'll take aim at tanks, robots, organic parasites and dodge oncoming obstacles.
Upon defeating impressive bosses, Star Wars-esque escape sequences ooze quality.
Andross (as disembodied head) spits an assortment of polygons and grows horns on toughest route.
The little devil.
Like all the best games, there are two hidden levels to uncover.
The Awesome Black Hole
Asteroid Belt (Level 1) - blast three red asteroids and pass through each cluster of spinning grey. Then shoot asteroid wearing sinister smiley face until black hole appears, and obviously fly into it.
Pepper tells us space 'grave yard' is where Fox's father vanished.
Of course, it should be graveyard.
Try as we might, but pops can't be found.
Area functions as a warp zone, and where you'll end up is dependant on which ring is flown through.
Out of This Dimension
Asteroid Belt 2 (Level 3) - ignore first, but destroy second giant asteroid on the right. Follow bird creature that hatches and...
Aside from killer paper airplanes, pseudo one-armed bandit boss hones into view, whose handle must be shot until three 7's are spun.
What the FUCK?
But there is no escape, because even after rearranging 'The End' post credit roll, stage just loops.
Stunt Race FX,
Nintendo/Argonaut 1994
F-Zero wannabe is fairly awkward to control and a bit slow.
We can choose from four unremarkable modes:
Speed - against the time and CPU.
Stunt - over four unique trax, get star balloons.
Battle - only co-op situation is split-screen against CPU or human.
Free Trax - achieve the best time.
Courses boast variety and weather effects, such as falling snow and water splashing.
When taking damage, meter is filled rather than emptied and losing a life or running out of time leads to disqualification.
Jolly music and fancy graphics mask an ordinary experience.
Spindizzy Worlds,
ASCII Entertainment 1992
Controls weren't great on Amiga/Atari ST, and translate even worse on joypad.
I also remember graphics to be smoother too.
But at least we're spared the indignity of using keyboard to rotate view.
As per predecessor, spinning top thing GERALD (Geographic Environmental Reconnaissance And Land-Mapping Device), is tasked with protecting star systems before they're destroyed.
Level select screen consists of two star systems, here named Easydizzy (what?) and Spindizzy.
Why not call more difficult cluster Harddizzy?
Some are timed, some not.
Rather bizarrely, there's a Pac-Man tribute stage, aptly called Pak Attack.
Each planet contains aliens, hazards, switches and ramps.
Fuel represents energy and lost when hit by baddies and falling off high areas.
We can fight back by collecting power ups and fuel can be replenished by collecting jewels.
For whatever reason, touching switches sometimes causes game to briefly pause.
Bollocks.
Despite programming 'glitch', shit is worth perservering with as things get pretty devious later on.
Battle Cars, Namco
1993
Mode 7 tracks are choppy and have more twists and turns than a rollercoaster.
If control scheme was tight, this wouldn't be a huge problem.
However...
Bumping edge of track is really fucking annoying, as car is unnaturally nudged back to centre.
And just for a laugh, habit is inconsistent.
Still, firing rockets at other vehicles helps us let off steam.
ClayFighter, Visual
Concepts 1993
As you'd expect, 16 meg claymation Street Fighter parody doesn't take itself seriously.
The Blob (master of Goojitsu), Bad Mr. Frosty, Blue Suede Goo (parody of Elvis song Blue Suede Shoes), Helga (large breasted Viking), Bonker (clown), Taffy (sweet), Tiny (circus strongman) and Ickybod Clay (pumpkin head).
To become King of the Circus, whoever must defeat N. Boss (laughs), a curious mix of balls with floating eyes.
Six attack buttons, plenty of digitised speech and satisfying gameplay made this worth our pennies.
Unlike original, Tournament Edition was released only for SNES a year later in North America as a rental-only deal with Blockbuster.
First off, purple meteorite crashes, characters emerge and Playland becomes Clayland.
Intro was the ending in original.
Other minor improvements include a few new stages, tighter gameplay and multiple modes afforded by Tournament gimmick.
C2: Judgment Clay,
Interplay 1995
Title is an obvious play on T2: Judgment Day with new character Hoppy on bike spoofing film poster.
24 meg exclusive still boasts 8 characters, but only Tiny, Bad Mr. Frosty and Blob return.
Googoo (baby), Nanaman (banana suit), Octohead (octopus) and Kangoo (kangaroo) complete roster.
Tournament mode is included and character colour depends on button pushed.
Some backgrounds are actually clay models with graphics superimposed over them.
Most are shite though.
Instead of unique boss, whoever must take on alter ego.
In full:
Goo Goo (Spike)
Frosty (Ice)
Kangoo (Thunder)
Octohead (Jack)
Nanaman (Dr. Peelgood)
Hoppy (Sarge)
Blob (Slyck)
Tiny (Butch)
When defeated, code given unlocks respective personality on title screen.
Although sprites are identical, each boast different move sets, winning stances and endings.
While animation is a marked improvement, it's less fun to play than true predecessor.
N64 got ClayFighter: 63⅓ and update Sculptor's Cut in 1997.
Star Ocean, tri-Ace 1996
This and Street Fighter Alpha 2 are the only games to utilise S-DD1 chip.
Also, cart weighs in at a whopping 48 megs (console's maximum capacity), matching the earlier Tales of Phantasia.
Fascinating stuff.
Plot concerns a herb that cures a disease which turns people into stone.
Along the way, Roddick Farrence and co get caught up in the middle of a galactic war.
RPG separates itself from Final Fantasy et al, as random battles (featuring voice clips), switch to an isometric perspective and play out in real-time.
Japanese exclusive was eventually remade for PSP (subbed First Departure) and fairly bizarrely, once again for PS4 and Switch, as First Departure R.
Super Punch-Out!!,
Nintendo 1994
Remake of 1984 arcade sequel of same name is also a pseudo sequel to NES game Punch-Out!!, which remade both arcades.
Championship mode is split into three circuits (Minor, Major and World), all featuring different fighters of varying difficulty.
Once filled, new super meter allows Little Mac to unleash a variety of devastating punches.
In order to become World Video Boxing Champion, we must swap punches with:
Gabby Jay, Bear Hugger, Piston Hurrican, Bald Bull, Bob Charlie, Dragon Chan, Masked Muscle, Mr Sandman, Aran Ryan, Heike Kagero, Mad Clown and Super Machoman.
Completing every circuit without losing a single match unlocks Special, where Narcis Prince (loosely based on "Prince" Naseem Hamed), Hoy Quarlow, Rick Bruiser and brother Nick await.
Mashing up this, all that went before and throwing in new boxers and modes (including split-screen multiplayer) for good measure, Punch-Out!! was remade for Wii in 1999.
Mario is Missing!,
The Software Toolworks 1993
In his quest to rescue Mario from Bowser, Luigi must trip across world (using map called the Globulator), talk to characters, get information on famous structures, retrieve stolen artefacts by killing Koopas and answer questions.
Bowser plans to sell trinkets and buy enough hairdryers to melt Antarctica.
Okay, whatever.
I get that educational games were popular at the time (Rex Ronan etc), but buying an encyclopedia would be a more worthwhile investment.
The 'Discovery Series' continued with Mario's Time Machine and Mario's Early Years!
Championship Pool,
Bitmasters 1993
Basics are obviously here and table is viewed from a top-down perspective.
Tune is catchy enough, various games (eight-ball, nine-ball, straight pool etc) add variety and ball physics aren't the worst.
Oh, it was officially endorsed by the Billiard Congress of America.
If you really must bring pub game home, Gamecube version of Archer Maclean's Pool Paradise (endorsed by the Whirlwind Jimmy White no less) remains the best example.
International Superstar Soccer Deluxe, Konami 1995
Despite sounding like an update, this is actually the sequel to ISS.
Of course, series eventually evolved into Pro Evo.
16 different formations, 8 strategies, 36 national sides and 8 stadia (each varying in size and decor), rightfully earns praise.
Due to licensing issues, all players are fictitious. Any similarity to overpaid fools, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Crowd chanting, audible opinion, the excitement of bearing down on goal and various 'oohs and ahs' deliver a great atmosphere.
Having a cameraman behind goal is a brilliant touch.
Providing multitap is available, up to four players can compete.
The only downside with a belting game of footie is unlike Super Soccer, pitch is flat.
This was also released for Mega Drive and eventually PS1.
Super Baseball 2020, Monolith Corp. 1993
Futuristic theme makes silly boys rounders more interesting.
Choose from a mix of male and female humans, and robots (who unlike their human equivalents, can explode, rather than becoming knackered).
What is a bit naff (also true for Neo Geo original), is that Cyber Egg is the only stadium.
Pitchers, fielders and batters earn money for scoring a strike, running peeps out etc, and dosh is used to improve performance.
Conveniently, we can power up character at any time.
Cash penalties can be incurred, but aren't particularly severe.
Unfortunately, landmines dubbed 'crackers' no longer make an appearance on field.
Humph!
Cliffhanger, Sony Imagesoft 1993
How to ruin a thoroughly entertaining action movie?
Turn it into a fucking awful video game of course.
Generic whore stain forces us to punch, kick, stab and shoot stock henchmen and thanks to appalling controls, we're almost helpless to receiving damage when climbing cliff faces.
But call Rocky Mountain Rescue, because it's not all bad news.
Trevor Jones' theme is recognisable, cut scenes are accompanied by reasonably accurate dialogue and we actually fight the likes of Ryan, Kynette, Travers and Qualen.
Sprites are hilariously bad though.
Mega CD was much the same shower of shit, but music is lifted directly from the film and lengthy FMV sequences (edited for swearing) replace story screens.
Oh, we're now forced to snowboard. Yeah, remember when Gabe jumped ludicrously high to avoid rocks, while also dodging boulders, falling trees and logs?
Game Boy and Game Gear favoured obstacles over henchmen and story largely followed film to the letter.
