Tuesday, 18 February 2020

Sonic the Hedgehog - The scoop and digest

Jeff Fowler takes Sega's famous mascot to the big screen.

Ben Schwartz - Sonic
James Marsden - Sheriff Tom Wachowski
Jim Carrey - Dr. Robotnik

Summary

In Sonic's homeworld, a tribe of echidnas attempt to kidnap our speedy friend.  Escape is secured after his mentor, an owl named Longclaw, gives him a bag of magical rings that open portals to other planets.

Some time later, Sonic lives secretly in the peaceful town of Green Hills, Montana.

After playing a game of baseball by himself, a lonely Sonic gets angry and causes a massive blackout.

Suspecting power outage to be a terrorist attack, the Pentagon call eccentric scientific genius Dr. Robotnik to investigate.

Meanwhile, Sonic befriends Sheriff Wachowski who agrees to help him recover shiny objects in San Francisco.

As time goes by, Robotnik's pursuit becomes an obsession.

Mid-credits

A certain two-tailed fox emerges from a portal in search of Sonic.

Not the absolute pits

How Sonic originally looked has been addressed and redesign looks more aesthetically pleasing.

Marsden and Schwartz share chemistry and Carrey's performance harks back to his glory days.

But let's not get carried away.

Story is spectacularly unoriginal and set-pieces involving weaponised machines are neither exciting or interesting.

Oh, slow-mo sequences are lifted from Quicksilver's exploits in X-Men: Days of Future Past (and beyond).

References are inevitable.

Sonic uses a pair of missiles as drumsticks to play a tune, which happens to be 'level complete'.

Instrumental near end is the opening of Green Hill Zone.

Gift of red and white striped trainers replaces scruffy footwear.

Nice.

Who knows if intentional, but green eyes debuted in Dreamcast effort Sonic Adventure.

Curled up in lethal ball, Sonic rams Robotnik's spaceship into submission.

I know they can't cram everything in, but televisions, chaos emeralds and releasing animal buddies would've been nice.

On Mushroom Planet, a totally bonkers Eggman has shaved head and grown a ridiculously large moustache.  Upon producing one of Sonic's quills, he plots revenge.

So while tolerable, if teased sequel does come to fruition, story-telling needs to be upped by several levels.

Wednesday, 12 February 2020

Birds of Prey - The scoop and digest

Cathy Yan directs standalone sequel to Suicide Squad.

Margot Robbie - Harley Quinn
Mary Elizabeth Winstead - Helena Bertinelli/Huntress
Jurnee Smollett-Bell - Dinah Lance/Black Canary
Rosie Perez - Renee Montoya
Ewan McGregor - Roman Sionis/Black Mask
Ella Jay Basco - Cassandra Cain
Chris Messina - Victor Zsasz

Summary

Following events of previous shit storm, Harley has been dumped by Mr. J and life is a struggle without the Jester of Genocide by her side.

Of Joker's many aliases, I like that one.

Roman Sionis sends burlesque dancer Dinah and vicious enforcer Victor Zsasz to retrieve a diamond embedded with the account numbers of the Bertinelli family fortune.

However, young pickpocket Cassandra steals and swallows said stone.

Rather predictably, Sionis places a bounty on Cass's head.

Harley teams up with Dinah, alcoholic cop Renne and the vengeful Helena to protect Cass and ultimately bring Sionis's criminal empire down.

Not Harley recommended

The Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn is at its best when female warriors are kicking ass during flamboyant, and impressively choreographed action sequences.

But...

Chaotic story made my head spin and while everything about Robbie is great, talented support are given minimal characterisation, which is a real shame.

McGregor's narcissistic villain (who specialises in face-peeling), is given precious little to do.

At Founders Pier (possibly a mash-up of Founders Island and Gotham Pier), baddie goes out with a bang.

Christina Hodson's fuck happy script is not sharp or witty, just spectacularly dull.

Deadpool this definitely ain't.

Considering Birds of Prey aren't officially formed until virtually last minute, I'm confused why this is called so?

As end credits are about to wrap, Harley teases a secret about Batman, but narration abruptly ends mid-sentence.

Subject to change of course, but Gotham City Sirens will apparently conclude trilogy.

Pardon me for not jumping up and down in excitement.

Monday, 10 February 2020

Go Film Go (Postergasm 3)

To accommodate the existence of remakes and different films of same name, (year) will be inserted after feature presentation and/or cultural reference.

Miscellany

13 Going on 30 - Blue Velvet
30 Minutes or Less - The Evil Dead (detail)
Aloha - Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy
Chopping Mall - The Lost Empire
Deep End (1970) - Carry On Again Doctor
F/X - Fade to Black (1980) (left) and Zombie Flesh Eaters (right)
Hannibal (2001) - Gladiator (2000) (left) and Under Suspicion (right)
Karate Kiba - Goodbye Bruce Lee: His Last Game of Death (left), Queen Boxer (right) and The Tongfather (far right)
Love Actually - Jaws
Ted - Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
The 5th Wave - Big Fish
The Amazing Spider-Man - Rear Window (1954)
The Violent Kind - Terror in the Aisles
Multiple scenes

Blood Fest

Cabin Crew
Slash (2016)
Little Evil

Blow Out
La Dolce Vita
Yesterday

Jaws (left) and E.T. the Extra Terrestrial (right)
Jurassic Park
Guess Danny Boyle had Spielberg on the brain.

Happy Death Day

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie
They Live (left), Back to the Future¹ (centre) and Repo Man (right)
¹Created by illustrator and print-maker James Flames to coincide with BTTF day.

Very interesting.

Death Watch (ntbcw 2002 film Deathwatch)

The Incredible Shrinking Man
The Masque of Red Death (left) and X: The Man with the X-ray Eyes (right)
The Tall T (left), Creature from the Black Lagoon (centre) and The Rise and Fall of Legs Diamond (right)
The Butterfly Effect

Dumb and Dumber
Seven
The Basketball Diaries
Fright Night (1985)

Frankenstein (1931)
The Son of Dr. Jekyll
House of Dracula
Fright Night Part 2 (ntbcw Fright Night 2: New Blood)

Pushover
Sex Kittens Go to College
Teenage Caveman
Women's Prison
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

Beast from Haunted Cave
Indestructible Man
Invisible Ghost
Mesa of Lost Women
The Vampire Bat (left), Frankenstein's Daughter (right) and The Terror (1963) (bottom right)
The Lost Boys

National Lampoon's European Vacation
Once Bitten
Revolution (left) and Pee-wee's Big Adventure (top right)
The Killing Fields
Reform School Girls
Pop culture powerhouse Ready Player One wraps things up.

(From left to right)
Beastmaster, Mad Max, Big Trouble in Little China and Labyrinth
Mad Max 2
Raiders of the Lost Ark (left) and The Fly (1986) (bottom left)
Excalibur
Real Genius
Ladyhawke (centre) and Raiders of the Lost Ark (right)
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Apart from The Shining, here's what else The Overlook is showing.

(From bottom left to right)
Wargames, Flash Gordon, Revenge of the Jedi² and Excalibur
²Before title was changed to Return of the Jedi.

Until next time.
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