Video games ignoring films - Act I

Hope everybody had a great Easter.

Title of previous iteration didn't exactly roll off the tongue.

If you haven't had the pleasure...

http://nukesandknives.blogspot.com/2013/11/mysterious-malfunctions-in-video-game.html

http://nukesandknives.blogspot.com/2015/12/mysterious-malfunctions-in-video-game.html

Anyway.

The Terminator (Master System)
John Conner? Not Connor?
I must be the only asshole smelling bullshit.

The Evil Dead (C64)
Yeah, they couldn't spell Ashley right.
Same goof was made on Speccy.

Predator 2

Amiga
1990 and 1991.

Mega Drive
1990 and 1992.

Sequel was released in 1990, so why include 'other' years?

Back to the Future: The Game

I am referring to 2010 episodic graphic adventure.

Before It's About Time physically begins in 1986, Marty glances at 1885 souvenir photo Doc gave him at the end of Part III.

Take a close look at Doc.

Because eccentric scientist has hands by side, not behind back.

Sticking with Part III (NES).

Ignoring enormous cacti, locomotive pushing DeLorean is good.

But unfortunately...

Bolt of lightning didn't send time machine back to 1985. 

This is odd.

Deadly Premonition (Various)
York is literally chatting shit about Part II.
For starters, Jaws itself didn't appear in said sequel, only parody Jaws 19.
Spielberg didn't produce Jaws, as Richard D. Zanuck and David Brown did.

Batman (1989)

Arcade
"Wait 'till they get a load of me."
Chilling quote was indeed said, but not against publicity still.

Yeah, it was here, shortly after Joker murders Grissom in his office.

NES

Decent quote, but everything said to villain is complete bullshit.

Image is lifted from promo shot.

Batman Returns

Mega-CD
Film was released in 1992, not 1993.

To prove shit can be done right.

SNES

See.  1992.

Cobra

Let's look at how 8 bits recreated cinematic bomb's poster.

Spectrum

C64

Amstrad CPC

What we all know.

Shit is captured very nicely, but tagline amuses.

Crime is a disease. He's the cure.

Vs

Crime is a disease. Meet the cure.

So why FUCK it up?

I'm incredibly confused.

Amstrad version is the only one to mention Stallone, so would it have broken hearts to do this?

Stallone
 Cobra

Rather than:

 Cobra
Stallone

(Rolls eyes).

Spectrum

I accept girl by hero's side is Brigette Nielsen.
But what really disturbs is bear thing, rocket bitch and possessed killer pram.

End boss is presumably Night Slasher.
I remember Brian Thompson's OTT villain wielding knives, but size?

 One more thing.

Game under

Message is no bullshit, and yeah, of course protagonist explodes.

Apart from a great piece of music by the late Ben Daglish, C64 effort was a complete and utter fucking mess.

And not just the gameplay.

Baddies change colour when killed, and still deadly during bizarre chameleonic state.

Perversely, innocents are more vicious than enemies themselves.

Motorcyclist

Kamikaze mother and baby carriage explode upon impact.

Fair enough, bitch may have issues - but leave the kid out of it.

But worse of all is Inspector fucking Gadget.

Rather than detonating, asshole literally sucks the life out of you.

Red Heat

Thanks to magic of digitising, Amiga scan is perfect.

But Spectrum begs to differ.

James Belushi forgot his fag.
Also, Walter Hill's clash of East meets West came out in 1988, not 1989.

Better still.

Arnold Schwarzenneger &...
Wait and what the..?
You're telling me they couldn't spell Schwarzenegger correctly?

HA HA HA!

But can C64 top that?

Ed O'Ross's Georgian drug dealer's first name was Viktor.

Love it.

Total Recall (NES)

Guy on phone tells Quaid to go to the window.

Good show.

But mission turns to farce, as fictitious setting of cement factory looms.

Torch-wielding vagrants

Ball and chains

King Hobo rips off Goldfinger's classic henchman Oddjob, but instead throws an infinite supply of 'boomerang' hats.

Remember all that SHIT?

Anybody who does needs serious help.

On Mars, generic guy in green enters the mines, via Last Resort.

The last settlers come back to life and attack.

(Laughs).

Benny looks pathetic in his digging machine, but at least that makes sense.

How many pyramids can be found on Mars?

None, right?

WRONG!

The strangest looking mountain... in the world.

Paul Verhoeven's classic fared slightly better.

 Finally.

Lose a life, and prepare for another attempt.
Quaid vows I'll be back!

In this outing, screenplay never gives Arnie the chance to utter famous catchphrase.

How stupid.

Until next time.