Pinocchio Unstrung - The scoop and digest

The first horror inspired by Carlo Collodi's 1883 novel The Adventures of Pinocchio was Pinocchio's Revenge (1996), which was closer to Don Mancini's original intent for Child's Play (1988).

Other than word in title, crazy Japanese cyberpunk yarn 964: Pinocchio (1991), aka Screams of Blasphemy, has more in common with my ass than story.

Anyway, the fifth instalment in The Twisted Childhood Universe (or Poohniverse) is written and directed by Rhys Frake-Waterfield.

Richard Brake - Geppetto

Robert Englund - Talking Cricket

Cameron Bell - James

Jessica Balmer - Mia

Jude-Evan Lloyd - Pinocchio

Emma Tate - Wood Mother

Summary

Following the death of his parents, teenager James is sent to live with his grandfather Geppetto.

After his friend Zach dies and the other (Michael) is forced to move away, Geppetto promises to build a friend that will never abandon him.

One year later, Geppetto introduces James to Pinocchio, a sentient wooden boy whose nose grows longer each time he lies.

While James is at school, Pinocchio explores the basement and speaks with Wood Mother, saying he's just a puppet and must make bad people dead, taking what they have piece by piece, until he becomes whole.

Under the guidance of Freddy fucking Krueger, sorry Talking Cricket, Pinocchio sets about killing anybody seen as a threat to James, taking body parts as souvenirs.

So set up is largely Child's Play (2019).

Mid-credits

The Cricket is revealed to have survived and uses magical vines on Geppetto's corpse to presumably resurrect him.

The herd will protect

I've already mentioned Pinocchio's Revenge, but I didn't expect scenes to be ripped off, such as bullying kids, Pinocchio watching a woman in the shower and a patient killed in the hospital (albeit in different circumstances).

And no, this isn't a remake.

A swift 80 minutes boasts impressive squishy gore and a cheeky nod to Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2, as Geppetto was an apprentice of the late Dr. Arthur Gallup.

Film is average at best, Pinocchio brought to life by a combination of puppetry and animatronics must be commended.

Following extra scene, the rest of credits show how visual effects were created.

Oh, must mention:

Jaws

Pinocchio uses his finger as a makeshift fin (complete with 'dun dun') in a swimming pool.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

Slapped with make-up and wearing Amanda's hair, Pinocchio dines at a table with the corpses of his victims.