Golden Axe - 2026 TV series

Paramount+ animated series is based on the classic 1989 Sega arcade of same name.

Matthew Rhys - Gilius Thunderhead

Liam McIntyre - Ax Battler

Lisa Gilroy - Tyris Flare

Danny Pudi - Hampton Squib

Carl Tart - Chronos "Evil" Lait

SungWon Cho - The Narrator

Supporting cast includes Eric Bauza, Heather Jane Campbell, Eugene Cordero, Dee Bradley Baker and Haley Joel Osment.

Episodes

1. The Legend of the Emerald Blade

2. Rideable Beasts

3. Tender Hamlet

4. Fly Like an Eagle

5. The Brothers Bad

6. Return to Wenisburg

7. The Cold Bard Truth

8. Into the Cowoods

9. Because We're Us

10. For Yuria

Summary

At some point in the past, Ax Battler, Gilius Thunderhead and Tyris Flare defeated Death Adder, but demon lord didn't stay dead for long.

Story kicks off with trio discussing how to defeat murderous bastard for good, and when Gilius suggests finding the legendary Emerald Blade, said to be the only thing that can destroy the Golden Axe, Tyris and Ax scoff at idea.

So drunken dwarf leaves tavern on rideable beast Chicken Leg, followed by ardent fan and anxious virgin Hampton Squib.  The pair successfully obtain mythical weapon, which chooses Hampton to bestow its power.

The only problem is that he can only get it to work by accident.

Hint. Get angry or upset.

Just saying.

When they return to Yuria, Gilius is pissed that he's already been replaced by "Panther Man", sorry, Chronos "Evil" Lait (Golden Axe III).

Seemingly to prove a point, Gilius takes Hampton to take down Death Adder before Ax, Chronos and Tyris do.

Learning about the Blade and Hampton, Adder sends his most loyal henchmen the Bad Brothers on a simple mission.

But things on their dumb part predictably go tits up.

Amidst all that, expect monsters, thieves, camp skeletons, magic, Druda (Hampton's childhood bully in Wenisburg) and for some reason, a male version of Dora (based on playable character from 1992 arcade only sequel Golden Axe: The Revenge of Death Adder).

Pain and vengeance

I understand why Mike McMahan tried to transfer the energy of Star Trek: Lower Decks, with goofy humour also copying Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves and The Princess Bride, but gags are a mixed bag.

Mild language (such as shit, prick and asshole) and gory violence confirms this was intended for young adults, not kids.

In E2, writers poke fun at a long-running joke:

Tyris teases Ax for his name not making sense.  He retorts " Sword is a superior weapon" and 'Sword Battler' would be an inferior name.

"Ax with an 'e' except if it's me."

(Laughs).

When Gilius is transported to the afterlife in E5, action expertly switches to 2D, where minotaurs (introduced in Golden Axe II), comically tear him a new asshole.

Death Adder takes a back seat until the final two episodes, but shit is worth waiting for.

Climax

Adder revives a God (Death Death), by saying: "Rise from your grave."

Yeah, it's cheesy as hell and doesn't make sense, but come on guys - it's Altered FUCKING Beast.

Chicken Leg calls every character we've met, instigating a huge war between both factions.

Tyris casts maxed out dragon magic, forcing Adder to drop Axe.  This allows Hampton to remove fragment of Blade from the Axe (and Adder's control over the Gods).  They tear snakes from his body and bury them with helmet in a pit. 

One of the Gods declare they can smell the blood of the giants on Hampton, which considering his size, is amusingly ridiculous.

The Narrator states he has many more stories to tell, and I'd be happy to hear them.