Child's Play - The scoop and digest

Although sequels are owned by Universal (which will distribute next year's TV series), original is MGM's baby, giving them free rein to do what the fuck they want.

With no involvement from Don Mancini, Lars Klevberg re-imagines Tom Holland's 1988 classic.

Aubrey Plaza - Karen
Mark Hamill - Chucky
Gabriel Bateman - Andy
Brian Tyree Henry - Detective Mike
Tim Matheson - Henry Kaslan
David Lewis - Shane

Summary

Electronics giant Kaslan presents Buddi - your child's new best friend.

Using self-learning technology, he adapts to your daily routine and finds ways to make life simpler by connecting to a host of Kaslan services.

At a sweatshop where toys are mass produced, a pissed off employee purposely removes safety protocols on a random model.

Ahead of the release of update Buddi 2, single mum Karen gets her blackmailing hands on a returned Buddi as early birthday present for potty-mouthed teenage son Andy.

As time goes by, Chucky becomes obsessed with protecting adopted father and turns to murder.

Kinda fun

Digital satire has some inventive kills and uses modern-day technology to chilling effect, but retelling is largely unnecessary.

However, I do respect how watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 lights murderous fuse.

Without bringing Brad Dourif into it, Hamill does a good job.

Star Wars refs are inevitable.

Andy initially dubs Chucky Han Solo and Buddi Bear looks suspiciously like an Ewok.

We also see a Leprechaun, possibly reffing disposable slasher franchise of same name.

Buddi stands in for Good Guy, and new moniker is surely a take on real My Buddy plaything, the main inspiration for original Chucky.

"Dead or alive you're coming with me!"

Thanks toy police car (and Orion) for reminding me of Robocop.

(Sigh).

Karen's boyfriend Shane is ultimately killed by lawnmower CP88.

Obvious yes?

When controlling tech, antagonist's finger glows.

E.T. comes home.

Characters are the epitome of cliché and we immediately want them dead.

Sadly...

Ugly marionette wouldn't sell in a million fucking years and Andy instructing Chucky to pull bizarre faces is unintentionally hilarious.

Zed Mart climax could've been a glorious bloodbath, but spectacularly fails.

Karen rips Chucky's head from shoulders, and evil eyes fading from red into darkness is surely a nod to Terminator.

Ending shot of another Buddi smiling sets up more, but I struggle to see justification.

Brightburn - The scoop and digest

Producer James Gunn and director David Yarovesky bring what's best described as a superhero horror hybrid.

Elizabeth Banks - Tori
David Denman - Kyle
Jackson A. Dunn - Brandon

Summary

In 2006, Tori and Kyle Breyer are trying without much success for a baby.

After seeing a spaceship crash-land in the woods, they adopt alien visitor and name him Brandon.

10 years later.

One night, Brandon is called by craft hidden inside barn's cellar and seemingly possessed.

Pissed off at lawnmower refusing to start, our kid discovers he's been gifted superhuman powers.

Things turn nasty...

Mid-credits

News reports and conspiracy theorist (Michael Rooker) compare Brandon to other super-beings, alluding to twisted versions of Justice League members, namely Aquaman and Wonder Woman.

Mixing things up, we see image of the Crimson Bolt (Rainn Wilson's character from James Gunn's earlier film Super).

Surely this is only the beginning?

Take the world

Expecting a load of shit, I left pleasantly surprised.

Superman meets Chronicle rumbles along nicely, looks far more expensive than its budget and strong performances ensure we're invested in family's tumultuous decline.

Screenplay from Gunn's cousin Mark and brother Brian is hit and miss, but I've heard much worse.

Erica pulling a glass fragment from pupil made me squirm and Noah's jaw detached from face (having been thrown and dropped inside his vehicle) is nicely gory.

Kill count exceeds way over 200, as Brandon causes a plane to crash.

My primary criticism is that from the very off, mystery is immediately extinguished.

Why not leave out opening scene (carbon copy of Superman early doors), and keep us guessing?

Just before she's taken for an unwanted flying lesson, Tori takes shard from spaceship (alternative Kryptonite) and fails to stab him.

Entire sequence is so much like Carrie (1976).

Comparisons to Man of Steel aside, Brandon is basically Dane DeHaan's Andrew.

Awkward teenager bullied at school using powers to gain revenge?

Hmmm.

Goof

As already mentioned, film begins in 2006, and home video footage shows Brandon as both a baby and young child (approximately 4-6 years old).

But at birthday party, alien states he's 12.

That makes no fucking sense.

What's more amusing is dialogue mentions age several times.

Hook me up another barrel!

In case you missed original.

http://nukesandknives.blogspot.com/2018/11/youre-gonna-need-bigger-feature.html

Here's Roger Kastel's iconic poster.

Others took note.

Sand Sharks, Shark in Venice and Sharktopus

Different creatures, same shit.

Sea Beast and The Rig

Inanimate and Up From the Depths

The Hatching and Rogue (2007)

2011 anthology novel Dead Bait 2 cared so much, they copied and pasted swimmer.

We're gonna need a bigger boat!

Ha ha ha!

Dur dur dur sample

Don't tell anyone, but the following didn't ask permission.

Battle Shark (Arcade)
When sharks approach and during boss battles.

ToeJam & Earl (Mega Drive)
Speaks for itself.

Jackpot Jaws fruit machine
Deal or no deal Going Fishing feature was probably lifted from Brody's final words to Ellen before departing with Quint and Hooper on the Orca.
Also, sound when gambling for cash sounds 'vaguely' familiar.

Rather ironically, video slot Jaws: Bounty Hunter was licensed.

Fishing Feature gives us a shot of Quint.

Well at least brilliant sideburns are accurate.

Flying Shark (Arcade)
Talk about stealing face.

My only visual rape comes courtesy of Orca: Killer Whale.

Richard Harris's Nolan buys it and slides into the water.
Please note crucified pose.

Because.

Death looks rather similar to Quint

Hmmm.

Two video games of completely different eras now.

The Evil Within (Various)
Model viewer strings up Shigyo.

More suspiciously.

Samurai Shodown II (Neo Geo)
A certain fish is literally hooked in Galford's stage.

Presenting Oscar, aka 'the wrong shark'.

Twelve-foot Tiger shark was caught in Florida and shipped on ice to Martha's Vineyard.

Really?

We'll never know.

Sega's Killer Shark is essentially the same game as Sea Devil.  The only difference being is that we harpoon a shark, rather than manta ray.
Anyway, both used series of slides on a wheel to make target move.

Probably in response and/or joke, Jaws parody Piranha features Atari's Shark JAWS.

Unlicensed arcade also appears in 1978 nuclear bomb Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

Check this out.

Cracked Magazine #129 (November 1975)

Here's the weird part.

By pure coincidence, Elfin Software released Spectrum game Jawz in 1983.

Gotta love that fucking artwork...

Game itself is a pseudo Space Invaders clone.

Character homages

Baywatch

Both TV series and big screen adaptation feature character Matt Brody.

Name is surely taken from 'Matt' Hooper and 'Martin' Brody.

Mallrats

Jason Lee as Brodie* Bruce** and Jeremy London as T.S. Quint.

*Perhaps misspelled on purpose and **shark was named after Spielberg's then lawyer.

Open Water

Last names of Susan and Daniel are Watkins and Kintner, as in Christine and Alex respectively.

T-shirts

Us
Wee lad Jason wears poster with pride.

Delivery Man
At some point, Vince Vaughn's David welcomes you to Amity Island.

Miscellany

Loosely based on Steve Alten's novel Meg: A Novel of Deep Terror, Jon Turteltuab's big screen adaptation The Meg shares multiple parallels with Jaws.

Suyin inside polycarbonate cage, Yorkshire Terrier Pippin (which doesn't get eaten), boy complaining he can't go back into the drink and woman yelling 'Shark!'

Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead, From Dusk Till Dawn and Rick and Morty episode Rick Potion #9 all one way or another spoof U.S.S. Indianapolis speech.

Towards the end of Close Encounters of the Third Kind, theme excerpt can be heard when spaceship is communicating.

Jurassic Park

Not top secret, but still easy to miss.

Blame it on the Nedry.

Crooked computer genius has 'Brody chumming' on monitor.

Shortly after, Quint and Brody observe 25 foot monster swimming by.

More. More More.

Bicycle Race (Queen)
"Jaws was never my scene and I don't like Star Wars."

Resident Evil: Revelations (Various)
"He's turning guppies into Jaws!"

Pardon the pun, but Fright Night remake really fucking sucked.

Christopher Mintz-Plasse's Evil Ed describes his neighbour 'as a vampire like Jaws'.

But wait.

Fright Night: Part II (1988)
Peter states weapon is from one his movies Jaws the Vampire.

Disturbing.

Earthworm Jim 2 (SNES version)
Opening stage Anything but Tangerines has falling grannies and an interpretation of a certain film poster.

Fawlty Towers - The Wedding Party
In this rare bedroom scene, Basil gets his teeth into Peter Benchley's novel.

Which version?

1976 Pan edition

How dare they not choose Paul Bacon's rubbish image for 1974 hardcover.

Booooo!!!!!

Licence plate

Ralph Breaks the Internet
During Broadway-esque 'A Place Called Slaughter Race' song, hit sequel retains mistake of displaying Sportsmen's Paradise, when it should be Sportsman's.

Admirable.

Deep Blue Sea

Mako appears to have something jammed inside snapping tackle.

What could it be?

Although obviously in homage, they correctly used Sportman's.

Bloody shot of final shark going boom rings a bell.

Did you know that metal object largely references James Bond?

Fuck yeah.

Spilling incredible beans.

007 (pretty obvious), and either side of Louisiana is 72 and 73.

Live and Let Die takes place in Louisiana.
Finally, eighth outing was produced and released in 1972 and 1973 respectively.

(Blushes).

Not long after Jaws, Spielberg wanted to make a Bond film, but was turned down by producer Albert 'Cubby' Broccoli.  Even after the success of Close Encounters, geezer was snubbed again.

Shit comes full circle.

Steel-toothed villain Horror (albeit under the name of Jaws), was the only thing to make it from 1962 novel The Spy Who Loved Me.

R.I.P. Richard Kiel.

Join me next time as licensed video games (and sometimes not) set sail.

Ma - The scoop and digest

Latest Blumhouse effort is co-written and directed by Tate 'The Help' Taylor.

Octavia Spencer - Sue Ann/Ma
Diana Silvers - Maggie
Juliette Lewis - Erica
McKaley Miller - Haley
Corey Fogelmanis - Andy
Gianni Paolo - Chaz
Dante Brown - Darell
Tanyell Waivers - Genie
Luke Evans - Ben

Summary

After father trades in her mother Erica for a younger model, Maggie and Erica move back to Ohio.

Mags and new friends persuade a random woman to buy them alcohol, soon revealed to be veterinarian Sue Ann.

It's not long before teenagers party in her basement, where host is christened 'Ma'.

Teenagers have a kick ass time, but Ma's relentless stalking begins to grate on them.

As Ma's behaviour grows increasingly more erratic and aggressive, what started as fun, becomes a fight for survival.

Waste

Apart from Octavia Spencer (who's brilliant by the way), this was terrible.

Predictable and preposterous, plot has no plan B and banality is set to repeat.

Ma quickly lays down the law.

1. No taking the Lord's name in vain.
2. No spitting.
3. No going upstairs.

As lazy script does jack shit with house rules, what's the fucking point?

Seemingly out of desperation, final 20 minutes or so suddenly becomes mild torture porn.

We expected Ma to do some super fucked up shit, but ironing chest and sewing Haley's mouth while still unconscious is as extreme as it gets.

Mags literally stabs Ma in the back to save Genie.

I imagine that would be extremely painful, right?

Apparently not, as Ma shrugs off injury like it never happened.

What a load of BULLSHIT.

Let's look at some parallels.

Misery

Ma...

Returning home to find ornaments moved;
Holding Genie prisoner and forcing her to take meds;
Tying Ben to a bed and torturing him; and
Gunning down cop when rumbled.

Yes, all recognisable from Rob Reiner's classic.

The Shining

Novel

Erica and Mags live at 217.

Stephen King and his wife stayed in the same room number at The Stanley Hotel in 1974, serving as the inspiration for the Overlook Hotel.

Coincidence?

Film

Carpet pattern in Ma's basement is similar to the Overlook and more clear cut, is opening shot of car following winding road.

Mixing things up, time for a VERY strange rip off.

Fatal Attraction

Mags comes home to find Ma exchanging pleasantries with Erica.  Despite awkward atmosphere,  they pretend not to know each other.

Circumstances may be different, but scene is identical in principle to when 'Alex Comes Over'.

What the actual fuck?

X-Men: Dark Phoenix - The scoop and digest

Simon Kinberg's directorial debut is yet another take on The Dark Phoenix Saga.

James McAvoy - Professor Charles Xavier
Michael Fassbender - Eric/Magneto
Jennifer Lawrence - Raven/Mystique
Nicholas Hoult - Hank/Beast
Sophie Turner - Jean Grey
Tye Sheridan - Scott/Cyclops
Alexandra Shipp - Ororo/Storm
Kodi Smit-Mcphee - Kurt/Nightcrawler
Jessica Chastain - Vuk

Summary

1975.

A young Jean Grey inadvertently uses her telekinetic powers and causes a car accident, killing her mother (and apparently father).  In the aftermath, Charles takes her under his wing to hone her psychic abilities.

1992.

During a space rescue mission, Jean is corrupted by the Phoenix Force, making her incredibly strong.

Following a heartbreaking reunion with her father, Jean loses control and kills Raven.

Meanwhile, shape-shifting alien race the D'Bari Empire have landed on Earth, with leader Vuk wanting Jean's power to rebuild her race.

Opinion is divided on Jean's popularity, but guys and gals agree to protect red head from hostile invaders.

UnXciting

An improvement over Apocalypse and The Last Stand (which this kinda remakes), but still mediocre.

Performances and special effects are good, but structure is messier than a dirty nappy.

Employing gore would have made running time a helluva lot more fun, but the only time we see blood is result of Raven impaled on wooden fencing.

Jean launching like a fucking rocket smacks of Chronicle and when going psycho bitch, gesticulation is bizarrely Carrie (2013).

Climax originally played out in space, but was obviously re-shot.

To be fair, train sequence boasts lots of cool stuff, particularly when Magneto uses guns against Vuk.

So where does this fit into notoriously confusing timeline?

9 years after Apocalypse and 30 years after First Class.

With that said, Charles and Eric haven't aged much have they?

Just apply prosthetics for fuck's sake.

Following Disney's acquisition of 21st Century Fox, Josh Boone's The New Mutants will apparently end the possibility of any further sequels.

I remain skeptical.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters - The scoop and digest

Latest instalment in MonsterVerse follows Godzilla (2014), but was set up by Kong: Skull Island's post-credits scene.

Although tidbits are taken from the very similarly titled Godzilla, King of the Monsters, this is neither a remake, or re-imagining of 1956 film.

Kyle Chandler - Mark Russell
Vera Farmiga - Dr. Emma Russell
Millie Bobby Brown - Madison Russell
Ken Watanabe - Dr. Ishiro Serizawa
Ziyi Zhang - Dr. Ilene Chen and Dr. Ling
Bradley Whitford - Dr. Rick Stanton
Sally Hawkins - Dr. Vivienne Graham
Charles Dance - Jonah Alan
Thomas Middleditch - Sam Coleman

Summary

Five years after San Francisco's devastation, the Government want Titans destroyed.

Monarch members Dr. Graham and Serizawa argue humans should co-exist with god-sized creatures.

Upon awakening Mothra, Emma and daughter Madison are kidnapped by Jonah Alan's team of eco-terrorists.

Meanwhile, Emma's husband Mark (co-creator of Titan communication device ORCA), is tracked down by Serizawa, who tells of wife and daughter's kidnapping.

After Emma reveals she contacted Jonah to unleash chaos and restore balance, the fight for supremacy begins, leaving Earth's future hanging by a thread.

Post-credits

At Isla de Mara, Jonah buys one of Ghidorah's heads, surely foreshadowing the rebirth of Mecha King-Ghidorah.

Soulless nonsense

Please expect Michael Dougherty's film to deliver the following:

1. Kaiju porn;
2. Rudderless story; and
3. Mindless, exposition happy humans, slicing some of the worst fucking cheese imaginable.

Apart from that - it's great.

Even though pyrotechnics ensure scraps are visually spectacular, action sequences are amazingly boring.

That makes sense, right?

Battle royale between Godzilla, Ghidorah, Mothra and Rodan sucks incredible ass.

Godzilla becomes a walking nuclear bomb and devours three-headed nemesis.

Rodan, and other pointless 'made for film' Titans, bow before a victorious Godzilla.

Shit is so fucking cringing.

At Outpost 32 in Antarctica, Ghidorah is thawed from frozen slumber.

Upon clamping virgin eyes on gargantuan hydra, a soldier exclaims "You gotta be fucking kidding!"

So obvious refs to The Thing (1982), but research station was Outpost 31.

Done on purpose?

Who knows?

Anyway, this is the first Godzilla film to drop an f-bomb.

During credit roll, I noticed Officer Harryhausen (surely as in Ray).

A nice tribute to stop-motion legend.

Will Godzilla vs. Kong learn from mistakes?

Probably not.