Megalopolis - The scoop and digest

Francis Ford Coppola writes, directs and co-produces a project that has been in development for over 40 years.

Adam Driver - Cesar Catilina

Giancarlo Esposito - Mayor Franklyn Cicero

Nathalie Emmanuel - Julia Cicero

Aubrey Plaza - Wow Platinum

Shia LaBeouf - Clodio Pulcher

Jon Voight - Hamilton Crassus III

Laurence Fishburne - Fundi Romaine

Talia Shire - Constance Catilina

Jason Schwartzman - Jason Zanderz

Summary

In an alternate 21st century, genius architect Cesar Catilina wins a Nobel Prize for inventing the Megalon, and hopes to use miracle building material to construct Megalopolis.

However, Mayor Franklyn Cicero is vehemently opposed to Cesar's ambitious plans and launches a smear campaign based on the death of his wife and subsequent disappearance of her body.

Amidst all this is Cesar's mistress and TV presenter Wow Platinum and Cicero's daughter Julia, who develops feelings for him. 

Excess and greed

Apocalypse Now, The Godfather and Part II (not Part III) are masterpieces.

But sci-fi epic was the polar opposite and one of the WORST things I've ever seen.

Comparable to Ayn Rand's literary work The Fountainhead, films Metropolis and Caligula, everything about incoherent, overstuffed mess is absolutely BIZARRE, particularly atrocious dialogue, mediocre effects and acting so wooden, you could make a table (or whatever) from running time.

As Cesar is able to manipulate time, it's ironic how much of a waste this was of mine.

Few will connect the dots, but shit stain even has the balls to rip off a minor scene identical in principle to Casino, with Cesar and Julia instead of Sam and Ginger, against Dinah Washington's What a Difference a Day Makes no less.

While we're on the subject, I'd rather have my head crushed inside a fucking vice then suffer the trauma of 'Megaflopolis' again.

The Substance - The scoop and digest

Coralie Fargeat writes and directs her second feature after Revenge.

Demi Moore - Elisabeth Sparkle

Margaret Qualley - Sue

Dennis Quaid - Harvey

Gore Abrams - Oliver

Hugo Diego Garcia - Diego

Oscar Lesage - Troy

Summary

On her 50th birthday, Elisabeth Sparkle, star of aerobics TV show Sparkle Your Life, is fired by her sleazy boss Harvey.

After seeing her billboard taken down, Elisabeth has a car accident, but miraculously escapes unharmed.

At the hospital, for being a 'good' candidate, a nurse gives her a mysterious flash drive labelled "The Substance," with promotional video telling her that one injection will release a younger, better version of herself.

Using Activator fluid, 'Sue' is born through her back.

The only rule is they must share bodies every seven days, without exception.

Over time, Sue grows tired of 'respecting the balance', leading to disgusting consequences.

Remember you are one

Feminist body horror is a satirical take on youth, celebrity culture and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Gnarly climax goes absolutely nuts, culminating into a delightful symphony of blood and guts.

Fargeat cites David Cronenberg and John Carpenter as primary influences, and boy, does it show, as the monstrous hybrid of Elisabeth and Sue is like Rabid (1977), The Thing (1982) and The Fly (1986) had a baby with Brian Yuzna's Society and Peter Jackson's Braindead.

Aside from amazing prosthetics, Moore and Qualley are good fun, and a special mention must go to cinematography and sound design.

For all its superlatives, principle reminds of Seconds (1966), which by pure coincidence, has Elisabeth Fraser playing Plump Blonde.

However, all concerned should be sued for plagiarism, as this 'unofficially' remakes Brian Thomas Jones' 1988 film The Rejuvenator (partly inspired by Roger Corman's The Wasp Woman, remade in 1995).

Ruth Warren (a rich actress), has gotten too old for leading roles, so takes Dr. Ashton's age-reversing serum to regain beauty.

She dubs her youthful self as Elizabeth, but is blissfully unaware that formula involves withdrawing fluids from brains of dead bodies.  Unforeseen side effects transform her into a hideous monster.

Err, yeah.

'Probably' everything that ripped off "Crocodile" Dundee, The Neverending Story and Godzilla

"Crocodile" Dundee (1986)

The Animal (2001) vs poster

The Adventures of Bayou Billy was released for the NES in 1989 (North America) and 1991 (Europe).

Although poor bastard was born without a neck, protagonist looks rather familiar. 

Said game is actually a revised version of 1988 Famicom original Mad City.

Check out 'subtle' cover art. 

As a side note, That's Not a Gun, This Is a Gun (an obvious play on Paul Hogan's famous line), is a trophy/achievement in Resident Evil Resistance.

And for shiggles.

Australian Games (1990) vs "Crocodile" Dundee II (1988)

The Neverending Story (1984)

Adapted from Michael Ende's 1979 novel of same name, Wolfgang Petersen's film is probably remembered most for the title song performed by Limahl.

Slave Beast Taka - Contra III: The Alien Wars (1992) vs Morla the Ancient One

This will literally blow you away.

Jurassic Park (1993)

Spielberg's blockbusting adaptation of Michael Crichton's 1990 novel sees a Brachiosaur sneeze on Lex.

Guess what?

Giant turtle does the same to Atreyu.

Ahem.

Falkor

Dragon Breed (1989)

King Kayus rides invincible beast Bahamoot.

Bastian riding luck dragon.

Despite a goofy steed, home computer art isn't too bad.

Space Harrier (1985)

"Welcome to the Fantasy Zone, Get Ready!"

During bonus stages, anonymous hero is picked up by Uriah to destroy trees for points.

Sega Ages 2500 Series Vol. 4 (2003)

Horrific PS2 remake adds a lock-in feature, similar to Panzer Dragoon. 

Why does tail end look like a giant phallus?

HA HA HA!

Godzilla

I mix and match.

Miscellany

Geon - King of the Monsters

Ninja Commando (1992)

Doctor Brown Sugar's mission brief includes a prehistoric fire-breathing beast, which may have been inspired by the poster for Godzilla, King of the Monsters! (1956).

But fuck all that.

The Super Shinobi (1989)

District 7: New York
The Cargo Hold houses a flame-spewing Brontosaurus!

No joke.

Joe Musashi also fights John Rambo, Jackie Chan, Spider-Man, Batman and The Terminator, who just for good measure, turns green, like The Incredible Hulk.

The Revenge of Shinobi (North America and Europe)

Genesis manual only credits Spider-Man, but Mega Drive equivalent doesn't.

Due to flagrant copyright infringement, four versions exist.

For example, software revision 1.03 (1990).

Monster-G is redesigned as a skeletal dinosaur.

Monster Eye (2014)

Wahlap's 5D lightgun arcade boasts a truly amazing end boss.

Monster Eye 2 (2018) wasn't a sequel, and just added two new stages.

I don't know what came first, but here's Gareth Edwards' Godzilla (2014), ntbcw tie-in video game of same name.

Overall though, I'd suggest shit smacks more of Godzilla (1998).

Until next time.

Speak No Evil (2024) - The scoop and digest

Writer-director James Watkins (known for his critically acclaimed debut Eden Lake), remakes Christian Tafdrup's 2022 Danish psychological horror of same name.

Mackenzie Davis - Louise Dalton

Scoot McNairy - Ben Dalton

James McAvoy - Patrick

Aisling Franciosi - Ciara

Alix West Lefer - Agnes Dalton

Dan Hough - Ant

Summary

While on vacation in Italy, American family the Daltons (Ben, Louise and daughter Agnes) meet Patrick, Ciara and their son Ant.

Back home in London, Ben receives a postcard from Patrick, inviting them to stay at their countryside farmhouse.  Though reluctant at first, they decide a change of scenery would be just the ticket.

Things go swimmingly at first, but Patrick and Ciara's bizarre behaviour overwhelms, prompting Ben and Louise to leave.

After Agnes demands they go back to retrieve her teddy, Ant reveals dark secrets about his 'parents'.

Eternal flame

Despite McAvoy's energetic performance, just like Psycho (1998) and The Omen (2006), to name a few, this was pointless.

Apart from nationalities and setting, shit is largely shot-for-shot, with threat, violence and depravity toned down.

Original's most shocking sequence was Karin cutting off Agnes's tongue, but we don't get that (or equivalent).

In truth, the primary difference is antagonists dying and couple surviving.

Whether intentional or not, Ant beating Patrick to death with a brick may be a nod to how Bjørn and Louise were stoned to death.

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice - The scoop and digest

From a screenplay by Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, Tim Burton's first film since Dumbo (2019) resurrects everyone's favourite bio-exorcist.

A few interesting quirks to note.

The late Michael Gough portrayed Alfred in Warner Bros' initial Batman film series.

Going further, Christopher Walken was originally offered the role of Wolf Jackson.

Walken played Max Shreck in Batman Returns, with made-for-film character's name paying homage to Nosferatu's Max Schreck.

Michael Keaton - Betelgeuse

Winona Ryder - Lydia Deetz

Catherine O'Hara - Delia Deetz

Jenna Ortega - Astrid Deetz

Justin Theroux - Rory

Monica Bellucci - Delores

Willem Dafoe - Wolf Jackson

Arthur Conti - Jeremy

Summary

Psychic mediator Lydia Deetz hosts paranormal TV series Ghost House with her manager Rory.

After she's told by Delia that Charles was killed after a shark bit his head off, Lydia returns to Winter River for father's funeral.

During which, Rory proposes to Lydia, which goes down like a lead balloon with her estranged teenage daughter Astrid, who soon befriends a boy called Jeremy.

Meanwhile in the Afterlife, Betelgeuse learns his soul sucking ex-wife Delores is still pissed at him for denying her immortality.

Jeremy (who is actually a murderous ghost), tricks Astrid into entering the Afterlife so he can use her body to become human again.

Out of desperation, Lydia summons Betelgeuse and agrees to marry him, on the condition that he helps prevent Astrid from boarding the "Soul Train".

Unpacked trauma

No matter how it's dressed up, title doesn't make any fucking sense, as name must be repeated three times.

Anyway, unnecessary sequel was a menace to humanity, stuffed with horrible characters and pointless subplots, equating to an absolute mess.

Keaton is inevitably the positive, but performance felt subdued, and notably less vulgar.

And yeah, I know it was 36 years ago.

Adam and Barbara Maitland (Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis) were due to cameo at the end, but it was decided that no amount of de-aging would be convincing.

Fair enough.

Lydia says they found a loophole to move on.

We all know why Jeffrey Jones didn't reprise role, so the amount of screen time 'character' gets is frankly disgusting (rather like his crime).

In the beginning, Bellucci is briefly in pieces, but body parts coming together make her complete.

Ignoring stapler and obvious Frankenstein nod, principle blatantly rips off the Jangly Man from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.

Finally, closing sequence is absolutely BIZARRE.

Against Pino Donaggio's theme for Carrie (1976), Astrid marries Jeremy and then gives birth to Betelgeuse's child in hospital, with infant climbing on the ceiling.

I appreciate nightmare is probably referencing Trainspotting, but shit couldn't be more out of place if it tried.

Afraid - The scoop and digest

Chris Weitz writes, directs and co-produces the latest horror centred around AI.

John Cho - Curtis

Katherine Waterston - Meredith

Keith Carradine - Marcus

Havana Rose Liu - Melody/AIA

David Dastmalchian - Lightning

Summary

Curtis Pike is introduced to AIA and agrees to take next generation digital assistant home to his family.

She settles down in no time at all and is immediately popular.

But as ambient intelligence becomes more 'human', tech turns nasty.

Wanna hang?

At just over 80 minutes, there isn't much to say.

Predictable yarn was terrible, but at least those concerned put in a shift.

To compound matters, premise clones numerous sources.

1. Margaux (2022).

2. The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror XII - House of Whacks (2001).

3. Smart House (1999).

All of which have Demon Seed (1977) to thank.

Resident Evil and Léon: The Professional

Capcom's illicit love affair with Luc Besson's controversial masterpiece is hardly a secret, but I'm going deeper then ever before.

Apart from Gamecube original, every other version of RE 4 (2005) inserted Ada's campaign Separate Ways (bizarrely called The Another Order in Japan).

Title screen pays homage to La Femme Nikita.

Anyway.

Not that we knew at the time, but Capcom's obsession began in RE 2 (1998).

Yes, Leon S. Kennedy was named after (who I wonder?)

As a relevant side note, Alt-J was originally called Daljit Dhaliwal and Films.  Under latter name, band penned Leon, which wouldn't be played live until 2015 at London's O2 Arena.

Oh, they was forced to change their second name because of American group The Films.

RE 4 (2005)

Professional difficulty is a direct reference to subtitle.

Green herb vs Chinese Evergreen

While exploring Salazar Castle, you'll occasionally see a portrait of a monk, which I believe is modelled on Jean Reno.

Finally.

Outbreak: File #2
Bolt cutters debuted in the Wild Things scenario.

RE 7: Biohazard

Key item also returned in the RE 2 and 3 remakes, but was curiously omitted from RE 4.

Check this out.

International Cut only
Leon takes Mathilda on a training mission and uses bolt cutters to cut door chain locks.

A stretch I know, but it's possible.

Mathilda

Like Miss Lando, Sherry is twelve-years-old.

The Matilda² can be purchased after finishing RE 4 (2005).

I still have no idea why they altered spelling, and may even be a translation goof.

Alt-J's debut album An Awesome Wave features Matilda, and the lyrics "This is from Matilda" quotes Leon's dying words to Stansfield before grenades hidden beneath his jacket detonate.

Ignoring Roald Dahl's 1988 novel Maltida, Mathilda (or Matilda) is Mary Shelley's second long work of fiction.

²Remake allows you to obtain pea-shooter from the Merchant starting in Chapter 8 by trading 10 Spinels.

Although character is now thirty (eighteen years Natalie Portman's senior), I'm convinced Ada in RE 4 (2005) was redesigned to resemble...

For shiggles.

Li Bingbing - Resi Evil: Retribution

RE 2 (2019)

Registration number of Leon's jeep is M4T-ILD4

Unlike OG, dude starts with the Matilda.

Topping the lot though.

RE 3: Nemesis

Completing game unlocks an Epilogue file, revealing what happened to main characters (less Rebecca), after the destruction of Raccoon City.

There's eight in total, but Sherry sat on window sill rings the loudest of bells.

Fucking awesome.