Wednesday 30 October 2024

The Front Room - The scoop and digest

Based on Susan Hill's 2016 short story of same name, Max and Sam Eggers write and direct their feature-length debut.

Brandy Norwood - Belinda Irwin
Andrew Burnap - Norman Irwin
Kathryn Hunter - Solange
Neal Huff - Pastor Lewis

Summary

After quitting her job, a heavily pregnant Belinda returns home to news from husband Norman that his father has just died.

At church, Belinda meets Norman's estranged and deeply religious stepmother Solange for the first time.

While there's no love lost between Norman and Solange, the couple strike a deal: accommodate her final days at home in exchange for obscene wealth.

Solange immediately claims the 'front room' and upsets Belinda with racial slurs.

One night while praying, the Holy Spirit seemingly 'possesses' Solange, inducing Belinda into labour.

When she returns with baby Laurie, Belinda is angry to discover that Solange has assumed control of the house.

Signs and wonders

Not the worst by any means, but my ass has more in common with horror than this.

I hoped Solange would become the embodiment of evil or something, but no, she's just an incontinent, unpleasant old cow, and nobody could blame Belinda for smothering her to death with a pillow.

90 minutes or so does attempt to creep us out with Belinda hallucinating Solange breastfeeding Laurie and Norman, but that's as weird as shit gets.

Friday 25 October 2024

Venom: The Last Dance - The scoop and digest

After co-writing original and solely penning sequel, Kelly Marcel returns as writer and makes her directorial debut.

Tom Hardy - Eddie Brock/Venom
Chiwetel Ejiofor - General Rex Strickland
Juno Temple - Dr. Teddy Payne/Agony
Rhys Ifans - Martin
Stephen Graham - Patrick Mulligan/Toxin

Summary

Knull, the prime ancestor of all symbiotes and the Slicer of Worlds is imprisoned on planet Klyntar.

Venom holds the key to his freedom, so big bad sends a Xenophage to retrieve the Codex.

After their battle with Carnage, odd couple are still hiding in Mexico, as the police want to question Eddie about the apparent death of Detective Patrick Mulligan.

Beneath the site of the soon to be decommissioned Area 51, General Rex Strickland oversees the Imperium program at Area 55, which analyses symbiotes captured on Earth.

Mulligan bonds with a symbiote sample and Strickland is ordered to bring Venom down.

Basically, if Eddie or Venom die, so does the Codex.

One way or another, bromance ends.

Mid-credits

Knull vows to kill the world and burn everyone.

Post-credits

At the decimated Area 51 location, the bartender flees and a cockroach heads to a broken cannister, similar to the one Strickland used to capture a piece of Venom in Mexico.

Dark forces

Incoherent road trip was an absolute car crash and almost nothing made sense.

So much pointless stuff happens and banality nearly gave me a headache.

In Vegas, Eddie/Venom have their 'last dance' with Mrs. Chen to a remix of Dancing Queen.

(Sigh).

Graham is spectacularly under-utilized and gives one of his worst performances.

Hardy talking to himself can be funny, but banter largely doesn't land.

The final 20 minutes is basically a generic video game boss fight, climaxing with Venom and Xenophages dissolved by an acid shower.

In New York (against Maroon 5's Memories), Eddie remembers his time with Venom.

Montage is not endearing or touching, just FUCKING CRINGING.

Although Spider-Man doesn't officially appear, Eddie briefly dangling upside down inside a warehouse was pretty cute.

Thursday 24 October 2024

The Wild Robot - The scoop and digest

Writer-director Chris Sanders adapts the first in Peter Brown's book trilogy.

Lupita Nyong'o - Roz/Rummage
Pedro Pascal - Fink
Kit Connor - Brightbill
Bill Nighy - Longneck
Stephanie Hsu - Vontra
Matt Berry - Paddler
Ving Rhames - Thunderbolt
Mark Hamill - Thorn
Catherine O'Hara - Pinktail

Summary

Lost from a container ship in a typhoon, Universal Dynamics robot Roz washes up on an island uninhabited by humans and is soon dubbed a 'monster' by local wildlife.

After fleeing a grizzly bear, Roz becomes the 'mother' of an orphaned gosling, naming her Brightbill.

Ahead of the winter migration, Roz and Fink the fox teach Brightbill how to eat, swim and fly.

Life's good, but when Universal Dynamics sends squid robot Vontra to take Roz back, things get tasty.

Kindness is a survival skill

One of the best films of 2024 warmed the cockles of my heart.

Dazzling visuals are complemented by excellent voice performances and an awesome score from Kris Bowers (his first for an animated feature).

Oh, original songs Kiss the Sky and Even When I'm Not are so uplifting.

Goddammit man - this film was awful.

(Laughs).

Thunderbolt is an original character, and the second collaboration between Rhames and Sanders since Lilo & Stitch (2002).

For the record, Vontra stands for Virtual Observational Neutralising Troublesome Retrieval Authority.

Sequel is in development and presumably will keep the same title as book The Wild Robot Escapes.

Tuesday 22 October 2024

Smile 2 - The scoop and digest

Parker Finn returns as writer and director.

Naomi Scott - Skye Riley
Rosemarie DeWitt - Elizabeth Riley
Lukas Gage - Lewis Fregoli
Peter Jacobson - Morris
Ray Nicholson - Paul Hudson
Dylan Gelula - Gemma

Summary

Days after witnessing Rose Cotter's suicide and contracting the Smile curse, Joel attempts to pass it on by confronting a pair of criminals.  One is killed, but his intended witness is shot dead.  Instead, drug peddler Lewis Fregoli inherits the curse and Joel is killed by a speeding truck.

Nearly a year after surviving a car accident (which killed actor and boyfriend Paul Hudson), troubled pop superstar Skye Riley announces a comeback tour.

Secretly taking Vicodin for back pain, Skye visits Lewis for additional pills, but watches in horror as he kills himself with a weight plate.

Skye is soon terrorised by grins and hallucinations, gradually sending her batshit.

Chaos and noise

Leading lady is brilliant as tortured soul and even manages ironic humour.

Silence builds tension and jump scares are initially very effective.

At her apartment, Skye is met by her back-up dancers, who get closer and closer each time she looks away.

Principle smacks heavily of the Weeping Angels in Doctor Who.

Earlier, Skye meets ER nurse Morris, who theorizes the entity requires a living host to survive.  So to break the curse, he suggests stopping her heart and then resuscitating her.

Good luck with that mate, as a defibrillator cannot perform miracles.  Its purpose is to detect irregular heart rhythms and shock them back to normal.

Anyway, skinless creature forces its way inside Skye's body via mouth.  Now possessed, she fatally stabs herself in the eye with a microphone.

(Yawn).

Perfect Blue (1997)

Darren Aronofsky denied Black Swan (2010) was inspired by Satoshi Kon's brilliant psychological horror.

But feature presentation is arguably more of an unofficial remake.

Mima Kirigoe, a member of Japanese idol group CHAM!, retires from music to pursue acting.  When obsessive fan "Me-Mania" begins stalking her, gruesome murders take place, causing Mima to lose grip on reality.

Capping shit off, Skye is approached by Me-Mania's equivalent, a creepy dude called Alfredo.

Sunday 20 October 2024

Silent Hill 2 (2024)

Bloober Team remakes one of the greatest video games of all time.

Summary

Three years after his wife's tragic death, James Sunderland receives a mysterious letter from Mary, beckoning him to return to the dark realm of Silent Hill.

James seeks to uncover the truth, unaware that answers require the ultimate sacrifice.

Sanctuary of Memories

In my restless dreams, I never thought shit would be this impressive.

Over-the-shoulder perspective ditches classic third-person and fixed camera angles.

During combat, we can now dodge/strafe and if an enemy grabs James, mashing button pushes bastard away.

Taking cues from The Last of Us, dumpsters can be dragged and climbed on.

Objects or traversals marked with white cloth can be interacted with.

Aside from combat, melee weapons smash TV sets, storage cabinets, car windows, panes of glass etc, typically hiding health and ammo.

Enemies are more threatening and we're encouraged to take care of them more often than not.

Some puzzles have been removed altogether, but solutions to oldies have been changed to keep veterans on their toes.  Also, there's a bevvy of new head-scratchers, which can be tough.

Consulting map no longer freezes enemies, meaning we're in constant danger.  Whether that's a good thing is down to personal opinion.

Some bosses have multiple phases and go beyond a single room.  For example, Abstract Daddy chases James through a hallway.

Script is largely verbatim, with subtle alterations.

All key settings remain, with The Labyrinth boasting three new places - Rotten, Desolate and Ruined.

Akira Yamaoka composes another wicked soundtrack and hearing enemies squeal like pigs is extremely satisfying.

Endings function identically to OG:

Three in first run, another three in New Game Plus, and includes two of its own - Stillness and Bliss.

Issues

Areas can be very dark, but flashlight helps.

Combat is undeniably tighter, but still feels a bit clunky.

Angela and Eddie's faces are weird, and voice acting in general is weaker.

OG took between 6-8 hours to finish, but play time has ballooned to around 14 hours, mainly because buildings have increased in size.

Brookhaven in particular is really padded out.

Verdict 8/10

Quality has defied expectations, but the world wanted 1999 original remade instead.

Tuesday 15 October 2024

Transformers One - The scoop and digest

Animated prequel is written by Eric Pearson, Andrew Barrer and Gabriel Ferrari and directed by Josh Cooley (who also voices Skywarp).

Chris Hemsworth - Orion Pax/Optimus Prime
Brian Tyree Henry - D-16/Megatron
Scarlett Johansson - Elita-1
Keegan-Michael Key - B-127/Bumblebee
Steve Buscemi - Starscream
Laurence Fishburne - Alpha Trion
Jon Hamm - Sentinel Prime

Summary

At the dawn of time, Primus sacrificed his life to protect the universe by transforming himself into the planet Cybertron.  From within its core, Primus birthed the first Transformers known as the Primes and to assist them, created a powerful entity called the Matrix of Leadership.

The planet's natural power resource Energon flowed in abundance, until the Matrix was lost, causing Energon to no longer flow.

In Iacon City, cogless bots Orion Pax and best friend D-16 dig for Energon, which following a cave-in, sees them reassigned by Darkwing to garbage incineration, where they meet B-127, aka "Bad-Ass-atron".

They find a chip containing an SOS message recorded by Alpha Trion (one of the Primes), inferring the Matrix's location.

After reaching the surface, Trion is reactivated inside a cave and reveals that Sentinel has been secretly supplying the Quintessons with Energon in exchange for him ruling Cybertron.

Trion provides the group with cogs and they head back to Iacon to expose the truth about crooked leader.

Frenemies

Just as D is about to kill Sentinel, Pax gets in the way.

D decides against rescuing Pax and let's him fall apparently to his death.

He rips Sentinel in two and replaces his cog with Sentinel's, dubbing himself Megatron.

The spirits of Primus and the Primes embue Pax with the Matrix.  Revived as Optimus Prime, he defeats and banishes Megatron from Iacon.

Subsequently, the Autobots and Decepticons are born.

Break some protocol

Jordan Knight's Bumblebee erased Michael Bay's sexualised atrocities.

But this was even better.

Stunning visuals are complemented by a great script, sharp visual gags, excellent voice performances and sensational set-pieces.

I just hope origin story is not left in limbo.

Sunday 13 October 2024

Terrifier 3 - The scoop and digest

The third in Damien Leone's popular series moves away from Halloween and decks the halls with more gore then ever before.

David Howard Thornton - Art the Clown
Lauren LaVera - Sienna Shaw
Elliot Fullam - Jonathan Shaw
Samantha Scaffidi - Victoria Heyes
Margaret Anne Florence - Jess Shaw
Bryce Johnson - Greg Shaw
Antonella Rose - Gabbie Shaw
Jason Patric - Michael Shaw

Summary

Art murders a family inside their house shortly before Christmas.

Five years prior, Art's headless body arrives at Miles County Psychiatric Hospital, where a possessed Victoria Heyes has just given birth to his head.  After killing a few people, they flee to an abandoned house and 'sleep'.

Present day.

Sienna and Jonathan are struggling to rebuild their lives, with final girl still haunted by visions of her dead friends.

With the holiday season fast approaching, they attempt to leave the past behind, but all that unravels when Art and his bin bag returns.

Festive goregasm

It's too long, has some awful acting, drags in the middle, and many questions remain unanswered.

But sadistic brutality is consistently on top form.  Shit, even children are blown up.

The much hyped shower scene (a clear tribute to Psycho) is particularly callous, as Art dismembers and splits open Cole and Mia with a chainsaw.

Another highlight is a tube hammered down Jess's throat, with a blowtorch forcing rats to scurry inside.

However, the most disturbing part isn't a kill.

As she watches Art murder somebody, Victoria masturbates with a shard of glass.  Her 'waters' breaking (as blood); completes a fucked up sequence.

Upon Sienna decapitating Art's partner in crime with father's sword, her blood burns through the floor and creates a portal to Hell.

Gabbie falls into the abyss, along with pointy stick.  As Art escapes, Sienna vows to find and rescue the girl who idolizes her.

Does that mean the next will leave Miles County?

Probably.

Saturday 12 October 2024

'Probably' everything that ripped off Hellraiser

Trilogy of yesteryear opened doors to the pleasures of Heaven or Hell.




And now, the odyssey continues.

Titbits

While strongly influenced, Paul W. S. Anderson's cult 1997 hit Event Horizon is cleared of any foul play for the following reasons.

The Gravity Drive was redesigned with three interlocking rings as a tribute to the Lament Configuration and Clive Barker consulted on project during pre-production.

The Pumpkinhead series has a few interesting connections.

Andrew Robinson played Sheriff Sean Braddock in 1994 sequel Blood Wings and Doug Bradley portrays Doc Fraser in penultimate entry Ashes to Ashes (2006).

I'm well aware that creator hates the name 'Pinhead', but in the films, character was first referred openly so by Joey in Hell on Earth (1992).

Warlock: The Armageddon (1993) vs Poster


This may be paying homage, but whatever.

Faces of Evil: Prometheus (January 2009)
Chatterer


Nemesis - Resident Evil 3: Nemesis (1999)
The Creature - Painted in Blood (2022)
Eligos - Ash vs. Evil Dead - S1 E3 (2015)
Shrieker (1998)


Wishmaster (1997)

Piano wire victim¹ vs Barbie - Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth


¹Cameo by director Robert Kurtzman.

Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (1999)

Djinn reborn vs The Engineer


Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell (2001)

Djinn box vs The Box


Peter Atkins penned screenplay for Wishmaster, and previously did the same in Hellbound, Hell on Earth and Bloodline, but wasn't involved with special effects.

Hellinger (1997)

Never heard of ultra low budget effort?

Don't worry, you're not missing much.

After trusted clergyman Father Thomas Donaldson began to question his faith, he became obsessed with seeing heaven.  To fulfil his earthly desire, he made a deal with Satan, transforming him into unstoppable demon Hellinger.

Hellinger vs Pinhead


Hooks and chains


Behind you


HA HA HA!

Star Trek: First Contact (1996)

Yeah, I'm not joking.

The Borg were redesigned from TV series The Next Generation to seemingly appear as machines.
Or biomechanical Cenobites.

Borg Cube ship vs The Box


Borg Queen² vs Angelique³ - Bloodline


²Sexy and dangerous.
³Seductive and evil.

However, Alice Krige's villain is immediately comparable to:

Dreamer - Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth
The Box


Hellbox (2021)
Wish Upon (2017)
Silent Hill: Origins (2007)

Travis Grady pieces together the Flauros and ultimately frees Alessa's Dream.


That puzzle was such a pain in the ass.

(Laughs).

Spirit (1989)

As unofficial Indonesian remake is shot-for-shot, you're looking at the abridged version.




The Engineer


WHAT?

Chatterer


Pinhead


Butterball


Female Cenobite


Miscellany

The Missionary - Silent Hill: Revelation (2012) vs CD and Chatterer


Professor Jones - Hellmaster (1992) vs Pinhead


Julie Walker - Return of the Living Dead 3
Hmmm.

The Devil's Chair (2007)


Personal best

Autopsy - Severed Survival (1989) vs Frank


Jesus wept!

Samael - Silent Hill (1999) vs Guardian - Clive Barker's Hellraiser Spring Slaughter Razing Hell, Part II: No One Ever Dies in Hell (March 1994)


In 2001, McFarlane Toys distributed the Tortured Souls series, with each action figure accompanied by a novelette, written by Barker.

Of the six available, one in particular stands out.

Amalgam Core - The Evil Within (2014) vs Agonistes


WOW!

Reza Ricker - Dark Escape 4D (2012) vs The Engineer


From lighting, to tension and design, everything is IDENTICAL.

Death Chamber regular during gameplay.
Wrapping shit up.

Rolan's Curse 2 (1992) vs Hellraiser, Epic Comics #1 (March 1989)


As King Barius and Pinhead are so similar, it's possible that British artist John Bolton was responsible for both.

However, I'm unable to confirm.
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