Appofeniacs - The scoop and digest

Psychological horror satire is written and directed by Chris Marrs Piliero.

Title is a play on apophenia, the tendency to perceive patterns between completely unrelated things.

Aaron Holliday - Duke

Jermaine Fowler - Cedrick

Sean Gunn - Clinto Binto

Simran Jehani - Poppy

Michael Abbott Jr. - Banks

Paige Searcy - Lazzy

Will Brandt - Texas Tim

Summary

Three intertwining vignettes focus on sociopathic tech-obsessed loner Duke, who after being 'wronged' by individuals, posts a nefarious deepfake video of them as a form of revenge, resulting in brutal, bloody violence.

Turning fantasy into reality

The influence of Pulp Fiction is there for all to see, but slimy degenerate being able to weaponise cancel culture is unfortunately plausible.

Script largely works, but performances are disjointed.  However, but Sean Gunn, as cosplay guru Clinto Binto is probably the most interesting character, but doesn't really feature until the final act.

While not a splatter fest, this gratuitously paints houses, with stabbings and shootings commonplace.  One icky scene involves a geezer bonded to a table covered with super glue, forcing him to partially rip off one side of face to escape.  During mean-spirited finale, peeps are dispatched with a variety of unconventional weapons.

Gorehounds may rejoice, but personally - I found unsubtle approach pretty dismal.

Primetime - The scoop and digest

Lance Oppenheim's feature debut is written by Ajon Singh and loosely based on Luke Dittrich's 2007 Esquire article Tonight on Dateline This Man Will Die.

Robert Pattinson - Chris Hansen

Merritt Wever - Andie Bender

Skyler Gisondo - Dan Plum

Matthew Maher - Xavier Von Erck

Anna Faris - Mary Hansen

Bokeem Woodbine - Chief Cortland Gunn

Alex Winter - Bill Conradt

Phoebe Bridgers - Del Harvey

Bill Heck - Stone Phillips

Summary

In 2006, reporter Chris Hansen hosts Dateline NBC series To Catch a Predator, in which he and his crew conduct sting operations with anti-paedophile vigilante group Perverted-Justice, co-founded by Xavier Von Erck, to lure child predators and get them arrested.

The show quickly becomes popular and NBC's Jeff Zucker gives it primetime to compete with ABC's Lost.

Aspiring actor Dan Plum successfully auditions in Burbank and used as a decoy.

Although fictional, character is heavily based on Dan Schrack.

Hansen is married to Mary, but has a mistress called Krysten.  He breaks shit off at a restaurant, unaware he is being photographed.

Sticking fingers where they shouldn't be stuck?

Tut tut.

Fearful of his affair going public, Hansen's behaviour grows increasingly erratic.

Under pressure from studio executives to expose a 'whale', Hansen breaks formula and travels to the house of district attorney Bill Conradt, with deadly consequences.

Cleansing an ancient evil

In recent years, the current Batman has become one of my favourite actors, and performance of paranoid android (with a god complex) was superb.

David Osit's 2025 documentary Predators (ntbcw 2010 sci-fi film or 2022 nature minseries of same name) told us the facts, where as this predictably takes liberties with the truth.

Even so, I still found dramatisation fascinating, even if the real Chris Hansen condemned it as being "detached from reality".

Film strongly implies Conradt's suicide via gunshot to the head ended series, but shit continued until its cancellation in 2008.

Castlevania: Belmont's Curse

Evil Empire completes the 'unfinished' Curse trilogy, with Konami officially confirming Curse of Darkness as the prequel.

Although Netflix series Castlevania exists in a different continuity, Graham McTavish reprises his role as Dracula.

Summary

1499, 23 years after Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse.

A great evil has descended on Paris.

The moon burns red and the city is in pandemonium, as monstrous creatures suddenly emerge from the shadows.

Trevor Belmont entrusts his daughter Rose to save humanity from devastation.

An intense tale of agony and despair unfolds.

No sacrifice is without blood

Visually beautiful and an absolute joy to play - this was surprisingly brilliant.

Yes game. You belong in this world!

Rose (who shares similarities with Sonia from de-canonised Game Boy entry Castlevania Legends), explores a non-linear map consisting of the Parisian streets, Holy Innocents' Cemetery, the Catacombs and of course - Dracula's Castle.

As with any Metroidvania, locations are split into numerous areas, with a decent chunk only accessible after learning the correct skills.

Equipment tab covers Arcana, Armoury and Relics.

Traditional sub-weapons are represented as Tarot cards and acquired by absorbing Arcana after beating bosses.  Completing mini challenges/objectives dubbed "Works of Mercy" unlock "Blessings" to upgrade weapons.

Spells also stem from Tarot cards and require Mana to cast.  For example, defeating The Prophetess (Medusa) rewards Petrifying Gaze and The Zealot (Isaac) gives Chronomantic Dive.

Some don't deal damage, but essential to progress the story.  Dealing with The Warrior (Joan of Arc), awards Holy Light, allowing Rose to disperse Chaos Shards (bypass walls) and create bridges.

Tarot cards are the equivalent of the Dual Set-up System (DSS) in the first GBA outing Circle of the Moon, centred around Nathan Graves pairing Action and Attribute cards to modify weapons, boost stats and create spells.

At set periods, we interact with spirits who give clues about locating bosses.  Conversely, Seer Statues inside Dracula's Castle do the same thing, as they think Rose is the Lord of Darkness.

Mirrors of Life act as save points and The Ferryman's Wharf serves as a fast travel point to areas you've already discovered.

The first fly we must swat is The Fallen, who very kindly gifts us the Arcane Whip, primarily used to grab onto sharpened anchors and negotiate fiendishly difficult obstacle courses.

Geezer later reveals himself as Leon Belmont, the protagonist of Lament of Innocence, who used the Whip of Alchemy to hook and swing around rooms.

He would've died in 1094, but Dracula used his desire for justice and revenge and cursed him with extended life.

Optional boss The Temptress (Succubus) disguises herself as Sypha.  Demon previously adopted the guises of Lisa (Alucard's mother) and Sara (Leon's love) in SOTN and LOI respectively.

Once inside Dracula's Castle, soundtrack weeps an excellent remix of Bloody Tears, while a bevvy of classic enemies launch a frenzied attack.

Beyond fucking cool.

Bosses come thick and fast towards the end, including The Occultist (Carmilla), The Builder (Talos) and The Shadow (Death), with Dracula waiting impatiently on his chair.

Depending on gameplay decisions, three outcomes are available:

Belmont's Fall (False), The Hunt Goes On (Normal) and Curse Lifted (True).

Dracula may be 'destroyed', but remember, it does not take long to make a cemetery.

Verdict 9/10

Ali G: Who Iz I? - The scoop and digest

Sacha Baron Cohen's directorial debut is standalone and not a sequel to Ali G Indahouse (2002).

Some people were in on it:

Morgana Robinson - Julie

Alpha Miknas - Manu

Clive Russell - Malcolm "Rocky" Atkins

The rest weren't.

Summary

Following the cancellation of the Da Ali G Show, Ali G has relocated back to Staines.  While raising cash for the 'stomach infection' of Me Julie at a pawn shop, Ali discovers a fax from HBO offering $3.2m for a third series of his show.

After arriving in Los Angeles, Ali receives a call from an HBO executive informing deal expired 22 years ago.

Unperturbed, he decides to self-publish his dream on TikTok.

News of his return to America spreads to black community leader Nira Cain-N'Degeocello, who slams Ali as a cultural appropriator.

The final character Cohen plays is martial artist Erran Morad, who convinces his class that Ali is a drug lord and that Julie must be deported.

The Buckingham Phallus

I never cared much for Borat or Brüno, but always found the 'voice of yoof' rather funny.

But that was over 20 years ago, and this is a prime example of why some things shouldn't be brought back left in the past.

Jokes try to be offensive, but are just offensively bad.

Virtually nothing works, and an AI-generated music video featuring Tupac, Greta Thunberg, Adolf Hitler and The Notorious BIG bizarrely lauding Ali's sex appeal just about sums up haphazard shit storm.

Aiii.

Clive Barker's Hellraiser: Revival - Beyond the Horror

Game was...

https://nukesandknives.blogspot.com/2026/10/clive-barkers-hellraiser-revival.html?m=0

Anyway, time to play.

Trophies/Achievements

Here's my top picks from the standard 44 (platinum, gold, silver, bronze and 'missables').

Most quotes are verbatim, but some have been shortened.

Hellraiser (1987)

Lead Cenobite

The Box. You Opened It. We Came

A Waste of Good Suffering

No Time for Argument

Demons to Some, Angels to Others...

The Further Regions of Experience

A Waste of Good Suffering

We Have Such Sights to Show You

Tear Your Soul Apart

Frank Cotton

Every Drop of Blood You Spill...

Puts More Flesh on My Bones

Pain and Pleasure, Indivisible

Come to Daddy

Experience Beyond Limits

Come Here, Damn You, I Want to Touch You

So Much for the Cat and Mouse Shtick¹

¹word replacing shit means a gimmick or comic routine.

(Frowns).

Rather bizarrely, Jesus Wept! is omitted.

Not Leaving Us so Soon, Are You? - Female Cenobite

²Go to Hell! - Kirsty Cotton

²repeated by Joey in Hell on Earth, before she jams the box into Pinhead's body.

Pinhead (Hellbound: Hellraiser II onwards)

Burn? Oh, Such a Limited Imagination! - Hell on Earth

Only Nightmares Last Forever! - Deader

The rest

What're Ya Buyin? and What're Ya Sellin? - Resident Evil 4 (2005)

Unlimited Power - Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

What's in the Box? - Seven

A Quiet Place - title of 2018 film

Lord of War - title of 2005 film

Guns, Lots of Guns - The Matrix

I Can Do This All Day - Captain America: The First Avenger

No Mercy - The Karate Kid (1984)

Red Dead Damnation - Red Dead Redemption

Puzzle Me This - contrary to popular belief, The Riddler's catchphrase Riddle me This was first heard in the 60's live-action TV series.

Most cryptic of all:

In the Land of the Pig, the Butcher is King - a spin on the proverb "In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king", attributed to Dutch scholar Desiderius Erasmus.

PC only

For some reason, 25 don't appear in console versions.

My magnificent seven:

Jusr a Flesh Wound - Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Knives Out - 2019 film or Radiohead song that murder-mystery is named after.

Handyman - a play on Candyman (1992), inspired by 1985 short story The Forbidden.

What's Your Pleasure, Sir - the final line spoken by the puzzle box merchant in Hellraiser (1987).  

Twisted Firestarter - lyrics to The Prodigy song Firestarter.

Power to the People - John Lennon and Yoko Ono 1971 song.

No Life in the Void, Only Death³ - The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001).

³only works if at critically low health before Leviathan's gaze kills you.

Miscellany

Chatterer and Female Cenobite⁴ are based on Hellraiser (1987) and Hellbound respectively.

⁴Barbie Wilde famously replaced Grace Kirby.

Our ultimate goal is to reconstruct Sunny's body by feeding her the hearts of Charlotte, Sister of Mercy and Marlowe, pretty much the same principle as Julia bringing Frank men to regenerate him.

Speaking of which.

Bruno Keller⁵ vs Frank the Monster

⁵Like hedonistic millionaire Roland Voight in Hellraiser (2022), Bruno is also an art collector.

Colin Marlowe's fanatical cult the Scarlet Church must be a nod to 2015 novel The Scarlet Gospels, which serves as a continuation of The Hellbound Heart and the canon of Harry D'Amour stories.

Interestingly, Winter LeMarchand (a descendant of toymaker and puzzle box designer Phillip LerMarchand), leads cult The Deaders in Deader (2005).

As stated in a note, the Cenobite Orno is perhaps the least known by the Church.

An illustration of Zora Beckett's father.

Geezer first appeared in a comic line.

Clive Barker's Hellraiser, Book 5: Mazes of the Mind

The tentacles from Dr. Channard's hands sprout deadly knives, and one such example grows from the walls within the Labyrinth.

Ozzy Osbourne's grave

Here lies our Prince of Darkness that raised hell then went back to his mother.

In the immediate vicinity, we can also see his iconic glasses and two bat statues.

Adjacent to tombstone is a cowboy hat of Motörhead frontman Lemmy Kilmister.

This is really cool, because he co-wrote the song Hellraiser with Ozzy and Zakk Wylde, which plays during the end credits of Hell on Earth.

Famous paintings

Bruno's mansion boasts an impressive selection.

Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Willem van der Meer - Michiel Jansz. van Mierevelt and Pieter van Mierevelt 

Dante and Virgil - William-Adolphe Bourguereau

Fall of the Damned - Peter Paul Rubens

Head of a Guillotined Man - Théodore Géricault

Joy of Life - Suzanne Valadon

Les Demoiselles d'Avignon - Pablo Picasso

Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Deijman - Rembrandt

The Barque of Dante - Eugène Delacroix

The Corpses of the De Witt Brothers - Jan de Baen 

The Fall of Ixion - Cornelis van Haarlem

The Great Fire of London - unknown artist

Personal best

In the Child's Play franchise and Chucky TV series, Damballa is the Haitian voodoo deity who in the original 1988 film, serial killer Charles Lee Ray invokes using the famous chant "Ade due Damballa" to transfer his soul into a Good Guy doll. 

I'm sure the others are made up, but the orange book Eyes Wide Open II pokes fun at Stanley Kubrick's final film Eyes Wide Shut (1999).

Triptych (middle panel) vs The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed with the Sun - William Blake

Police randomly showing up before boss fight with Charlotte mirrors Hell on Earth, where CD and Barbie massacre the law, ending with Camerahead quipping "That's a wrap."

While passing hrough the swamp, the eagle-eyed will notice a yellow balloon floating in the background.

Inflatable was changed to red in big budget 2017 film, but in the 1990 It miniseries, Pennywise (Tim Curry) uses a yellow balloon to coax Georgie to the storm drain.

Rotating corridor vs 'Meat grinder' tunnel - Event Horizon

This makes sense, because Hellraiser was of the primary influences for Paul W. S. Anderson's 1997 cult classic.

BDSM model vs Lying Figure - Silent Hill 2 (2001)

Probably coincidence, but the Pillar of Souls in Hell on Earth resembles a person wearing a straitjacket.

Pinhead is initially trapped, but blood offerings free him.

Our journey ends, but remember - I have eternity to know your flesh.

Clayface - The scoop and digest

From a screenplay by Mike Flanagan and Hossein Amini, James Watkins makes history for directing the first 18 rated DC film.

Oh, two-part story Feat of Clay (1992) from Batman: The Animated Series also told the origin of Clayface.

Tom Rhys Harries - Matt Hagen/Clayface

Naomi Ackie - Dr. Caitlyn Corr

David Dencik - Markos Szabo

Eddie Marsan - Frank Fitzpatrick

Max Minghella - John Borrelli

Nancy Carroll - Hildie Love

Joshua James - Corey Bowery

Joana Ribeiro - Mia Torrez

Will Coban - Bones

Rob Brydon - Vic Chissler

Summary

Hollywood star Matt Hagen is nominated for an Academy Award and appears on The Vic Chissler Show.

Matt goes to a nightclub with his friend Corey Bowery, where he gets friendly with actress Mia Torrez, but warned by Corey to stay clear, as she's the girlfriend of crime lord Markos Szabo.

Does he listen? Of course not.

The following morning, a furious Szabo finds them in bed together and takes a knife to Matt's face.

Matt reports Szabo to the police, but geezer is acquitted in court due to 'lack of evidence'.

To cheer him up even more, Mia is interviewed on TV and claims he drugged her.

Lying bitch.

After been subjected to Dr. Caitlyn Coor's regenerative medicine, whose nanocells perfectly repair damaged skin tissue, Matt's face is fully restored.

When Matt's face begins to sag at a red carpet event, he panics and injects himself with a dangerous amount of nanites, apparently solving the problem.

Matt discovers he can instantly recover from any injury, impersonate whoever and turn his body into a deadly weapon.

Don't worry, he's nothing like the T-1000.

While all this sounds great, Matt's unquenchable thirst for vengeance comes at a price.

Hell's coming with me

First off, is certificate justified? No, 15 at most.

Sure there's some gooey body horror, but apart from Matt allowing his blood to dissolve Szabo's face, this isn't exactly a goregasm.

Just like Robert De Niro's Murray Franklin in Joker (2019), Vic Chissler is an original character created specifically for film.

And yeah, both host a popular talk show.  But the primary difference is that Uncle Bryn isn't killed by his guest.

Raging Bull (1980)

Like Jake LaMotta, Matt's life spirals out of control.

But it's Szabo (referring to Matt), who takes admiration too far.

"He's pretty. I've got a problem. If I should fuck him or fight him."

LaMotta: "He's a nice, a nice kid (middleweight contender Tony Janiro). He's a pretty kid, too. I mean I don't know, I gotta problem if I should fuck him or fight him."

After cutting Matt's face to pieces, Szabo remarks:

"He ain't pretty no more."

This is exactly what Tommy Como (based on mob boss Frankie Carbo), calmly says after LaMotta destroys Janiro's face in June 1947.

Crawlers - The scoop and digest

Unrelated to 2024 zombie film of same name, the latest creature feature to unleash spidergeddon is written by Jayson Rothwell and directed by Ángel Gómez Hernández.

Matilda Lutz - Serena

Gary Stennette - Dr. Woodward

Elena Stanz - Dr. Callan

Andrea Scott - Molly

Isabella Egizi - Bernice

Sam Lucas Smith - Lance

Gregg Sulkin - Bradley

Melina Matthews - Lady Lash

William Miller - Mr. Rossmore

Chris Rogers - George

Summary

After a field trip in Papua New Guinea, UCLA professor George returns to Paradiso Palms Apartments extremely sick and dies in his room, with baby spiders oozing from infected shoulder.

Members of the Infectious Disease Centre (IDC) take George's rotting corpse away for analysis and place the building under federal quarantine, meaning everybody must stay inside or face jail.

It's going to be a long 48 hours.

Music will save you!

From setting to hundreds of venomous eight-legged bastards, I honestly thought this was an English-language remake of Sébastien Vaniček's 2023 feature debut Infested, but no, it's just got the same premise, and a much lighter tone.

Body horror is appropriately icky and once shit kicks off, action crawls thick and fast.

Tenants include obnoxious social media personality Bradley and dominatrix Lady Lash, who richly deserve to die, and thankfully do.

Perhaps the most satisfying death is slumlord Mr. Rossmore, who attempting to escape via a rubbish chute ends up impaling himself on a patch of broken glass.

Unlucky pal.

Realising situation is too dangerous to contain, the IDC rig a device to pump the building with toxic gas.

But Serena (wearing BDSM clobber) disapproves and goes on a rampage, rescuing a mother and her baby in the process.

After survivors are safely evacuated, the quarantine is eventually lifted.

At the hospital, a close-up shot of the baby shows something black moving beneath its skin, dangling sequel bait.

The Cycle - The scoop and digest

Unrelated to 2009 film of same name, aka The Devil's Ground, Jordan Downey directs and co-writes supernatural horror with Kevin Stewart.

Deborah Ann Woll - Dr. Megan Garland

Jeffrey Donovan - Detective Marks

Will Hochman - Detective Ian

Jack Doolan - Lenny

Carl W. Crudup - Lou Bishop

Jeb Berrier - Ratterman

Gretchen Corbett - Joni

Phillip Andre Botello - Daniel

Danika Golombek - Katie

Don Keith Opper - Frank

David Myers Gregory - Peter

Summary

In February 2025, brilliant anthropologist Dr. Megan Garland runs a body farm, a facility where human remains are left to naturally decompose for scientists to research time of death and duration of decay.

27 days later, Detective Ian turns up and delivers the shocking news that the body of her father Peter has been found, who disappeared 34 years ago in 1991.

However, he only died a few hours prior, leaving everybody dumbfounded.

Meg joins the police to solve the mystery of Peter's 'frozen' timeline, but their investigation uncovers a terrifying secret.

Bad Moon Rising

The opening hour or so is an absorbing crime procedural, but then becomes a howling good creature feature, with some posters bizarrely ruining the big twist.

Early doors, it's said that Peter abandoned his family, but the reason he took off was because he contracted a lycanthropic curse decades prior.  To protect Meg and Joni from his carnivorous lunar activities, he isolated himself deep in the forest while attempting to break his own 'cycle' of carnage.

Oh, title doesn't just refer to the lunar cycle of the moon, but also to a hereditary, generational curse.

Patrick Magee's practical make-up hits the hairy high notes, particularly the initial transformation sequence, and wolf itself is performed by Trevor Newlin (known for the 'primary' Xenomorph in Alien: Romulus and The Monstrosity in Smile 2).

Unfortunately though, some stuff looks a bit rough around the edges, and shaky cam during close ups fails to disguise the fact.

Climax turns the gore up to eleven, as Peter rips through the police.

Escaping outside the compound, Meg is forced into fatally wounding monster by driving a harpoon through its body, causing Peter to reverse-transform back into a human.

1 year later, Meg is back at the body farm, reliving the same exile as her father.

Whalefall - The scoop and digest

Brian Duffield directs and co-writes survival thriller with Daniel Kraus, whose 2023 novel film is based on.

Even though inspired by biblical story Jonah and The Whale, this is in the same vein as Buried and 127 Hours.

Austin Abrams - Jay Gardiner

Josh Brolin - Mitt Gardiner

Elisabeth Shue - Zara Gardiner

John Ortiz - Hewey

Jane Levy - Eva Gardiner

Emily Rudd - Nan Gardiner

Summary

Mitt Gardiner, a local dive-boat captain is diagonsed with terminal mesothelioma and rather than letting illness take him, decides to end his own life by jumping overboard into the ocean off North Carolina's Monastery Beach (aka Mortuary Beach).

One year later, college student Jay returns home and instead of leaving his family to mourn an empty casket, embarks on an unauthorised scuba dive (bizarrely without a torch), to retrieve his father's remains.

Near the edge of a submarine canyon, Jay gets caught up in a fierce battle between a Giant squid and a Sperm whale.  While trying to escape, his diving gear is caught in the squid's tentacles and both are swallowed.

With only an hour of air remaining, Jay draws on everything Mitt taught him to survive.

The ocean always provides

Although a Sperm whale is capable of devouring a human being, the unfortunate soul would be DEAD within a matter in minutes, plain and fucking simple.

Yes creature's stomach acids eventually begin to dissolve Jay's skin and erode diving gear, but happens way too late.

Muffled dialogue frustrates and flashbacks overplay sentimentality, but claustrophobic setting serving as a metaphor for grief and guilt holds your attention until Jay's absurd escape.

Surounded by highly flammable methane gas, Jay uses a box of steel wool to construct a makeshift bomb and batteries for ignition spark.  The resulting blast blows a hole through the whale's body, propelling Jay to the surface.

As he watches the whale's corpse sink, a boat rescues him.

Sometime later, the Gardiner family board Mitt's boat and Jay finally reads the letter father left, overcome with emotion.

What did piece of paper say? That's for us to probably never find out.

Crystal Lake - TV series

Brad Caleb Kane's brainchild is unrelated to 2023 film of same name, (which has fuck all to do with Friday the 13th btw).

Although very different, series does share similarities with two-piece comic miniseries Friday the 13th: Pamela's Tale (July-August 2007).

In September 1947, a pregnant Pamela is 'told' by the disembodied voice of her unborn child (which she's already named Jason) to murder her abusive husband Elias.  One evening, she heeds advice and takes an axe to bastard.

Not long after, she's rushed to hospital and gives birth, blind to Jason's grotesque facial deformities.

Jason 'dies' in June 1957 and Pamela kills Barry and Claudette a year later.  Pamela arrives back at Camp Crystal Lake on Friday, June 13th 1980.

Anyway, this exists independently, so shouldn't be considered a prequel to films.

Linda Cardellini - Pamela Voorhees

William Catlett - Chief Levon Brooks

Cameron Scoggins - Officer Dorf

Devin Kessler - Briana Brooks

Nick Cordileone - Ralph

Gwendolyn Sundstrom - Grace

Hamish Linklater - Elias Wittering

Callum Vinson and Jonathan Tison - Jason Voorhees

Daniel Stewart Sherman - Enos

Danielle Kotch - Claudette

Phoenix Parnevik - Barry

Manon Gage - Harmony

Brian J. Carter - John Christy

Episodes

1. Camp Crystal

2. Part II

3. Part III

4. A New Beginning

5. The New Blood

6. Kill Them, Mommy

7. Friday...

8. The Final Chapter

Summary

In 1970, Jason Voorhees is bullied by other campers for having a deformed head and his only friend is a girl called Grace.  When horny counselors Barry and Claudette slope off to have sex, Jason tries to retrieve a ball in the lake and his mother Pam is powerless to prevent him from presumably drowning.

9 months later, Pam is horrified to learn that the Camp is reopening.  Two men posing as police detectives tell Pam that Jason's body has been found, then try and sedate her with a syringe.

She kills them both, one with a pair scissors, and the other with a machete.  Pam calls a woman called Nora warning they've been 'found'.  She coats their bodies with bait and drags them to a bear's den, where they're eaten. 

Meanwhile, tortured Vietnam veteran Ralph lives as a recluse in the woods and grows increasingly paranoid when he thinks someone or something is stalking him.  

Believing that Grace's mother Valerie is abusing her, Pamwhacks her with a meat tenderizer and watches her die when face is planted in a deep fryer.

Pam begins a sexual relationship with Chief Levon Brooks, but things get awkward.

Grace meets Harmony, the leader of a hippie group working at the camp.  Pam interrupts a séance where Harmony is seemingly possessed by Valerie, and Harmony flips out, labelling Pam a monster.

Levon's sister Briana works as a reporter and uncovers the dodgy dealings of Bellflower Chemical, whose negligence caused the deaths of two soldiers, but company was cleared in court.

One night, Grace, high on acid, sees 'Jason' in the woods.

Claudette (who earlier confessed to Pamela what she was doing when Jason drowned), reconciles with Barry and they get physical at the boathouse.  Grace attacks them and kills Barry, but Claudette is still alive.  Pam arrives and finishes Claudette off, assuring Grace "Momma's here."

Jason appears and tells Pam to "kill them all".

Trauma makes you stronger

Despite some impressive kills, with even better prosthetics, many episodes can be boring, focusing too much on annoying teenagers and human drama.

Did we really need the cliché of hippies in the 70s? No we didn't.

Cardellini is terrific throughout, and props also goes to Catlett and his goofy partner Scoggins.

Origin story really gets going in E6, which ends on Levon and Briana confronting Pam at her home, setting up flashback episode Friday...

New York City, 1959.

Pam Scott is a singer and while performing on TV, miscarriages on stage.

The father of her child Elias Wittering works for Bellflower and takes her to a facility in Houston.  When put through a clinical trial by Dr. Valentine, results confirm she's still pregnant.  Delighted by the news, Pam marries Elias.

When another trial participant delivers a stillborn baby and commits suicide in front of Pam, incident sends her into early labout and Jason is born premature, with head seriously deformed.

2 months later, Pam returns home and prepares a bath to stop Jason's excessive crying.  However, she falls asleep with the tap running and Jason inside.  Elias returns home and Jason revives, but Pam is placed on medication to stabilize her moods.

Jumping to 1963, Elias celebrates the success of  the Argonaut Project, which accelerates physical growth in humans and helps them resist nuclear radiation.

Pam enters a room full of dead babies and failed experiments, finding Jason (Subject J) on an examination table.  Dr. Valentine tries to stop her, but Pam kills him with a power drill.  During Pam's escape, Nora lends a helping hand.

At the start of The Final Chapter (subtitle of fourth film), Levon gives Pam a Bellflower file from 1963:

Pamela Wittering, age 33, born May 23 1930

Jason Wittering, born May 13 1960

So because series takes place in the summer of 1971, Pam is 41 and Jason is 11.

Year is confirmed by Elias at the police station, saying Pam 'kidnapped their son eight years ago.'

Not that it really matters, but the only thing unexplained is Pam changing surname to Voorhees.

Pam gets taken, but en route to Bellflower, Jason (wearing a burlap sack) forces car to swerve off the road.  After Jason kills some hapless goons, Elias confronts wee lad, who due to the effects of the Project, has bulked up and grown significantly in just a year.  He murders Elias by crushing his face, causing eyes to pop out.

Awesome.

Jason grabs Pam by the throat, but memories make him let go.

Ralph shoots Jason with a hunting rifle, but Jason magically disappears, leading Pam to laugh hysterically.

One year later, Steve finishes the story of Jason around a campfire, declaring all he knows is to kill.

Shit ends when 'Jason' approaches a girl from behind.

Street Fighter (2026) - The scoop and digest

Danny and Michael Philippou were originally on board to direct, but left in 2024 to focus on Bring Her Back.  However, both very briefly cameo as Scott and Max in a nod to the iconic intro of SF II (1991), who were only named by Capcom in 2016.

Anyway, from a story by Dalan Musson and Gary Dauberman, Kitao Sakurai directs and co-writes the third live-action adaptation with T.J. Fixman.

Noah Centineo - Ken Masters

Andrew Koji - Ryu/Dark Ryu

Callina Liang - Chun-Li

David Dastmalchian - Lord M. Bison

Joe "Roman Reigns" Anoa'i - Akuma

Cody Rhodes - Guile

Andrew Schulz - Dan Hibiki

Eric André - Don Sauvage

Vidyut Jammwal - Dhalsim

Orville Peck - Vega

Don Lee - Master Gouken

Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson - Balrog

Jason Momoa - Blanka

Hirooki Goto - E. Honda

Mel Jarnson - Cammy

Rayna Vallandingham - Juli 

Alexander Volkanovski - Joe

Summary

In 1987, Ryu defeats Sagat in the first World Warrior tournament, with dark persona awakening the deity Akuma, who subsequently murders Master Gouken.  This causes Ryu (the Orphan) and his adoptive brother Ken Masters (the Playboy) to drift apart.

Six years later, Shadaloo dictator Lord M. Bison is developing a secret weapon dubbed Psycho Power.

Sports presenter Don Sauvage goes on TV to announce that Bison is hosting World Warrior II in MetroLao City.

Undercover Interpol agent Chun-Li (secretly seeking revenge against Bison for murdering her father), visits Ken and Dan Hibiki, telling them she's on a mission to find the greatest warriors to compete in upcoming tournament.

For the record, Dan (debuting in SF Alpha) never had a moustache, and is a parody of Ryo Sakazaki and Robert Garcia from SNK's Art of Fighting series.

As fists and feet fly, Bison uses a device to extract Ryu's fighting power, with Akuma waiting in the wings.

Mid-credits

In a dialogue-free anime sequence, a powered-up Bison, with Cammy and Vega, approach Sagat training alone at night.  Ripped bastard looks at Bison, suggesting something has been arranged off-screen.

Envy the seed from which evil grows

Is story Shakespearean? No.

Was this dumb and incoherent? Yes.

But fun? Kinda.

The fights are colourful and characters are more representative of video games, but most feature for about as long as trailers.

Apart from Ryu's Hadouken, physical specials look unnatural.  Oh, forget about Guile unleashing a Sonic Boom or Dhalsim warming opponents up with Yoga.

Akuma causing Joe (a NPC in the original Street Fighter) to explode into goreless fragments confused me, almost like a censored Mortal Kombat fatality.

Cammy employing the look of brainwashed Killer Bee assassin from Alpha 2 onwards was cool, but screeching skull is incredibly irritating.  Bring back Kylie Minogue is all I can say.

As you'd expect, the focus is Ryu, Ken, Bison and Chun-Li.

The jokes (some sexualised) come thick and fast, but I can't remember chuckling once.

Blanka scratching his armpit and smelling his fingers. What's that all about?

Ignoring countless references, Bison saying "Today is the day you die. For me it's Tuesday", copying the brilliant Raul Julia in Street Fighter (1994) was horribly forced.

Traditional anime in flashbacks was handled by animation studio Titmouse and definitely the best thing about entire film.

Non-ending has Bison escape unscathed with Akuma's body.

Guile and Dhalsim pick up Ryu, Ken, Chun-Li and Dan, inviting them to go on a 'Bison hunt', as The Weather Girls' It's Raining Men plays.

WHY?

Anachronisms

The following songs didn't exist in 1993.

Baha Men - Who Let the Dogs Out (2000)

Montell Jordan - This Is How We Do It (1995)

Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun (1994)

Meredith Brooks - Bitch (1997)

Elastica - Connection (1994)

Make no mistake, they knew - but just didn't care.

Like Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021), 4 Non Blondes' What's Up? is used for official trailer.

Before fighting Sagat in 1987, Ken scolds Ryu for listening to track on his walkman.  Unfortunately, song didn't get into our heads until 1993.  But six years later, a drunk Ken sings shit on karaoke, making everything okay apparently.

Clive Barker's Hellraiser: Revival

Before opening the doors to the pleasures of heaven or hell, here's some interesting titbits.

While this is the first video game in the franchise, there was a cancelled NES game back in 1990, simply called Hellraiser.

Unlicensed SNES game Super 3D Noah's Ark began as a Hellraiser project.

Pinhead officially appeared in the DLC for Dead by Daylight in 2021, until his removal in 2025.

On the flipside, he featured in 2015 fanmade one-on-one fighter Terrordrome: Rise of the Boogeymen, which also included other horror icons such as Michael Myers, Leatherface, Ghostface, Candyman and Freddy Krueger.

Anyway, FPS is developed by Saber Interactive and while never confirmed, takes place about 20 years after original 1987 film.

Summary

When not inside Labyrinth, game is set in Clairport.

Aidan Lynch is a member of biker gang The Hell Raisers (honestly), and while having sadmasochistic sex with his girlfriend Sunny (going by Yoon Sun-Hee), Aidan cuts her with the Genesis Configuration, inadvertently summoning the Cenobites.

The Priest rips her ass apart with hooked chains and Aidan is knocked unconscious.

In his pursuit to rescue better half, Aidan takes on Marlowe's fanatical cult the Scarlet Church, tames The Unworthy and faces his dark past.

Miscellany 

Combat involves firearms (shotgun, pistol, assault rifle, shotgun etc) and melee weapons (knife, baseball bat, cleaver etc).

Pea shooters can be upgraded and melee break over time, which can be repaired using a kit.

Bottles are thrown to distract enemies and gun-toting cultists primarily behave like the humans in Uncharted/The Last of Us.

Items are crafted by scavenging resources and basic bastards can be stealth killed.

Lock picks are used to, well, ya' know, but tool is easily destroyed if not given respect.  One thing's for sure, Aidan ain't no Jill Valentine.

'Banishing' regular enemies recovers health and suffering (which is the GC's energy).

Telekinesis is ripped straight from Dead Space, but using the GC to solve puzzles and as a weapon was satisfying.

We can also quick turn, something that Silent Hill: Townfall bizarrely deemed unnecessary.

It doesn't happen very often, but the rooms in Aidan's apartment loop, smacking very much of P.T.

Resident Evil 4 (2005)

Game may have the gritty design aesthetics of the Condemned series, but game takes huge chunks from Capcom's masterpiece.

Aside from breaking loot boxes, inventory screen is IDENTICAL, right down to auto sort, moving and rotating stuff.

Rather than the Merchant, we get chain-smoking Eremite Zora Beckett.

As a nice touch, two trophies/acheievements are named after quotes:

What're Ya Buyin? and What're Ya Sellin?

Hehehe, thank you!

Finally, survival section in a cabin (in the woods no less), encourages you to board up windows, a la RE 2 (2019).

Bosses

Bruno (basically Frank The Monster), Charlotte, Sister of Mercy and Marlowe.

We also have to take care of mini boss the Embracer on three occasions.  Tumour is protected by impenetrable armour, but arms not so.

Pain

The first thing that bothered me is how are the original Cenobites still alive?

An explanation was provided in Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth for Pinhead (sorry Clive) coming back, but Female Cenobite, the Chatterer and Butterball were killed by Channard in Hellbound: Hellraiser II.

(Frowns).

Melee combat sucks harder than a veteran prostitute and awkward camera doesn't exactly help.

The Priest and Female Cenobite are used sparingly, which is shame as script (written in collaboration with Barker), is impressive.

Jesus wept!

As with all bosses, the second encounter of Bruno as a blood monster glows blue when defeated.  But bastard can only be banished when clutching the GC, as holding a gun or melee weapon does jack shit.

I haven't tried this myself, but trophies/achievements What're Ya Buyin? (spend at least 666 coins) and What're Ya Sellin? (earn at least 999 coins through sales) are apparently bugged on PS5.

Charlotte can get stuck on the top of a cliff and even becomes stationary in the centre of arena.  In both instances - bitch is invincible.

No fucking excuse.

Pleasure

Even though he's no spring chicken anymore, Doug Bradley is excellent.

Environments may get repetitive, but visuals are surprisingly clean and detailed.

The Labyrinth shifts and changes to disorientate, all while the Chatterer gives chase.

Other times, it's about negotiating traps.

In the real world, rotating and splitting the GC to solve door puzzles is great fun.  Other brain teasers involve placing key items in the correct order.

Cut scenes contain all the essential ingredients you'd expect from IP, such as domestic violence, BDSM, mutilation and drug addiction.

Ooh la la moments are very mild and in terms of nudity, The Outlast Trials is way more explicit.

Climax

After feeding her Marlowe's heart, a heavily pregnant Sunny is fully regenerated.  As if by magic, the Cenobites arrive and to fulfil his end of the bargain, Aidan allows Sunny to eat his hand.  The Priest reveals the Church misinterpreted the Rite of Rebirth and the GC actually identifies a Revenant Mother.

The Priest kneels over her and his face dissolves.  Aidan tries to intervene but the Chatterer throws him into the Labyrinth.

By the time he returns, Sunny has given birth to an ascended incarnation of The Priest, possessing Leviathan's powers of revelation.

Sunny reveals she agreed to join the Cenobites from the very beginning and manipulated Aidan into resurrecting her.

The Female Cenobite invites Aidan to join them, but Zora encourages him to choose his own destiny.

Endings

Enlightenment of Flesh: walking towards the Female Cenobite before the gap seals deprives him of tongue.  As they enter Leviathan's body, Aidan's eye turns black.

Stay Human: if we wait until the wall closes, he stays with Zora and is optimistic about starting a new life.

Verdict 6/10

V/H/S/Mixtape - The scoop and digest

This year's wraparound is hosted by controversial heavy metal band GWAR, who invite us to sit back and revel in the unholy horrors.

Dance, Dance, Dance, Dance

Written by Zoe Cooper

Directed by Renee Zhan

Hemlock, Riptide, Skeeto and Botulism star in The Curious Chorus, and a little boy called George joins them for a sing song.

Years later, the studio attempt to re-imagine puppet show and order now technician George to scan them onto a laptop, but results are anything but cute.  Hemlock and co come to life and gruesomely kill everybody, except George.

Another Cabin

Directed by Flying Lotus

Stop-motion yarn concerns a grandmother and boy being eaten and assimilated by a giant monster, with an even bigger tongue. 

Heartbeat

Written and directed by David Moreau

YouTubers Wes and Maya enter a Cold War military installation that hasn't been visited for at least 40 years.

Bunker turns out to be a listening station and they get trapped inside a soundproof testing chamber.

Driven insane by the heartbeat beneath the floor, Wes commits suicide by stabbing himself in the ear and neck.

Instead of going the same way, a pregnant Maya turns to cannibalism.

The Music of Mr. Sze

Written and directed by Ernest Dickerson

In an apartment block, Philip Howard decides to create a student documentary project and uncovers the dark secret behind the music of titualar violinist Mr. Sze, which is some bullshit about an alien landscape and a Lovecraftian monster wreaking havoc.

Premature Burial

Directed by Tobias Forge

Ghost frontman reunites with his former band Repugnant for a new music video, where a woman knowingly buries a man alive as an act of revenge.

Death Tone

Written by RZA

Directed by RZA and Matt Landsman

Lydia Van Horn follows instructions recorded by her late father to create the ultimate killer track.

Post-credits

In the aftermath of opening segment, George opens a storage container to reveal the production team have been added to his twisted collection of puppets.

Out of tune

Cheap and very nasty, the worst entry since the infamous Viral was absolutely fucking garbage.

To be generous, Death Tone was the pick of a terrible bunch, but that ain't saying much.

V/H/S: SCP is already in development and I might press play next year.

Carrie - TV series

Having previously written and directed adaptations of Gerald's Game, Doctor Sleep and The Life of Chuck, Mike Flanagan is a Stephen King veteran.

In 2021, he brought the critically acclaimed Netflix series Midnight Mass, which is deemed an unofficial spiritual successor and/or tribute to 1975 novel 'Salem's Lot.

Anyway, considering story has been told three times before, does the latest version justify its existence?

Summer H. Howell - Carietta "Carrie" White

Siena Agudong - Sue Snell

Samantha Sloyan - Margaret White

Alison Thornton - Chris Hargensen

Amber Midthunder - Rita Desjardin

Josie Totah - Tina Blake

Arthur Conti - Billy Nolan

Thalia Dudek - Emaline West

Joel Oulette - Tommy Ross

Matthew Lillard - Principal Henry-Grayle

Rahul Kohli - Seth Peist

Tim Bagley - Peter Morton

Kate Siegel - Adelaide

Michael Trucco - John Hargensen

Heather Graham - Madison Hargensen

Tahmoh Penikett - Ralph White

Episodes

1. First Period

2. Foreign Language

3. Social Studies

4. Dramatic Arts

5. Physical Education

6. Home Economics

7. Romantic Literature

8. AP Physics

Summary

2026, Chamberlain, USA.

Awkward teenager Carrie White has been home-schooled her entire life by her deeply religious mother Margaret.  After Carrie's father Ralph is tragically killed in an accident at a construction site, Margaret is forced by social service into sending Carrie to Ewen High School to retain custody.

She befriends Sue Snell, but is snubbed by popular super bitch Chris Hargensen.

After Carrie starts her period in the locker room, the other girls throw tampons at her, with ringleader Chris live-streaming event on social media.

At the end of opening episode, Chris creates an Instagram account Carrie Red and uploads locker room footage, with bullying scandal dominating series.

Of course, Carrie discovers telekinetic powers, bringing about death and destruction.

As you'd expect, modern spin gives mainstays different personas and takes extreme liberties with source material. 

For example, psycho ex-student turned drug dealer Billy Nolan was expelled for bringing a cattle prod into school and going after a kid.  He lives on a farm, and off-screen, kills a pig to fill a bucket of blood.

Who knows, it might come in handy on prom night.

Chris's asshole dad John features pretty heavily and is eventually jailed for embezzlement.

Exclusive characters include the mysterious Emaline West and cult leader Adelaide¹.

¹Kate Siegel also directed E3.

Miscellany

In E3, Carrie reads a book about telekinesis and witchcraft, featuring Nina Kulaniga, a former member of the Red Army tank regiment.  In March 1970, she 'allegedly' slowed down and stopped a frog's heart with her mind.

This is interesting, as that's exactly how Carrie kills Margaret in the original 1974 novel.

Whether King was inspired by story is unknown.

And shit doesn't stop there, as Adelaide murders Margaret by...

Yeah.

Before doing so, she tells her that a lot of people have "a little shine in them", referring to the psychic powers Danny Torrance possesses in The Shining, adding further weight to a popular theory that Carrie and The Shining are connected.

While Carrie is dancing in the street in the final episode, the marquee of movie theatre Brian de Palma retrospective in 35mm pays homage to the director of classic 1976 original.

Margaret bathing Carrie in the bath bears an uncanny resemblance to a shot of Ellen Burstyn and Linda Blair in The Exorcist.  This was probably deliberate, as Flanagan has made The Exorcist: Martyrs, due for release in March 2027, which sounds like a sequel to The Exorcist III.

Chronicle

Accusation is way out there, but principle of Carrie breaking Chris's nose for saying something horrible about Margaret and Ralph is identical to Andrew getting revenge on Wayne by psychically ripping his teeth out.

Another odd 'coincidence' is Carrie showing off at a junkyard and causing a car to explode.  Andrew on the other hand crushing vehicle was way more spectacular.

Cruelty and disorder

Despite some issues, I binged entire series in one epic sitting and was hooked from the off.

Summer H. Howell and Matthew Lillard knock shit out of the park, but Chris and Desjardin were pretty annoying.

Margaret still sends Carrie to the closet, but she's relatively nice compared to Piper Laurie.

Subplot of new character/teacher Seth Peist having an affair with Chris's stepsister Brooklyn was completely unnecessary.  During E6, it's revealed bastard hung himself after the truth was exposed.

Emaline

Undoubtedly the most interesting new addition first appears in E2, when Carrie is crying in the bathroom.

The end of E5 suggests Carrie has been talking to an imaginary friend.  However, that was a red herring, as Adelaide confirms astral projector can appear without physically being present, explaining why others can't see her.

Ending

Like the poorly received 2002 TV movie, Carrie survives.

Rather than Sue, Carrie drives away with Emaline to pastures unknown.

Is Emaline on the run from Adelaide and does she have more sinister plans for Carrie?

All will be revealed when the second season is greenlit.

The Uprising - The scoop and digest

Writer-director Paul Greengrass dramatises the Peasants' Revolt, which has never been adpated for television or the big screen.

Andrew Garfield - Ploughman

Jamie Bell - John Ball

Stephen Dillane - Simon Sudbury

Tom Hollander - Sir Robert Hales

Cosmo Jarvis - Wat Tyler

Thomasin McKenzie - Alyce

Jonny Lee Miller - Sir William Walworth

Woody Norman - Richard II

Katherine Waterston - Joan of Kent

Summary

England, 1381.

The Black Death has killed half the population and grief engulfs those who survived.

When the council of 14-year-old boy king Richard II decide more revenue is needed to prevent the kingdom from collapsing, they increase the taxes on the peasantry.

A local farmer (calling himself Ploughman), arrives in town to pay his annual taxes.  After watching soldiers forcibly examine women's genitalia to determine if they should be taxed as children or adults, Ploughman accosts the collector and kills a soldier who tries to arrest him.

His actions ignites a rebellion across the country, with former solider Wat Tyler and priest John Ball (branded a heretic by the Church), joining Ploughman in his fierce battle for justice, as they march to London to petition the King.

Taste humility

With impressive performances and a suitably bleak tone, fans of action period dramas should wave their pitchfork or sickle in appreciation.

Film was shot in Germany, particularly in Bavaria, with medieval architecture and expansive landscapes providing a striking visual substitute for 14th-century England..

I understand why director's signature shaky cam comes with a motion sickness warning, but I'm a reluctant fan.

According to the history books, Tyler was stabbed multiple times by Walworth, but the former managed to flee on horseback, before falling off a short distance later.  He was then caught by Walworth, brought back to Smithfield, and publicly beheaded.  His head was placed atop a pole, paraded through the city and displayed on London Bridge.

Beheading takes place off-screen, but the start is accurately depicted.

The rest takes several liberties, as Richard II produces Tyler's head to the rebels and a mass slaughter ensues.  Amidst the carnage, Ploughman escapes with a few survivors.

Robin Hood

Shortly before its American release on 10 September, Focus Features marketed film as an origin story: The Uprising: The Rise of Robin Hood, leading to backlash and confusion over subject matter.

While it's suggested the Revolt inspired the legend, the first known reference was in the B-text of William Langland's poem Piers Plowman in 1377, which obviously preceded the rebellion and even influenced Geoffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales.

The famous line by the drunken Sloth (translated from archaic English):

"I do not know my Lord's Prayer perfectly as the priest sings it, but I know the rhymes of Robin Hood and Randolph, Earl of Chester."

Although Ploughman is entirely fictional, character's name is a reference to Plowman (farmer).

Anyway, back to film.

Unofficial epilogue takes place one year after main story.

Ploughman, now a Robin Hood-esque figure dressed in green, and his 'Merry' band of archers ambush the King in a forest (naturally).  Ploughman kills a corrupt counsellor, but spares the boy, saying the gang's defiance will haunt his dreams forever.

In the final scene, the King's residence is shown under a thundering sky, while he screams hysterically.

Tacked on ending was fucking stupid and took a giant shit on all that went before.

As studio executives clearly didn't have the balls to respect history, here's what happened.

After Wat Tyler's death, his followers were driven out of London and Richard II revoked all pardons.

Most rebels were hunted down and executed, effectively ending the Revolt.

The rebels didn't exact revenge on Richard II.  He reigned for another 18 years, before he was deposed by his cousin Henry Bolingbroke (Henry IV).  While imprisoned at Pontefract Castle, Richard starved to death, either by choice, or on Henry's orders.