The Fall Guy - The scoop and digest

David Leitch's action comedy is loosely based on the 80s TV series of same name.

Ryan Gosling - Colt Seavers

Emily Blunt - Jody Moreno

Aaron Taylor-Johnson - Tom Ryder

Winston Duke - Dan Tucker

Hannah Waddingham - Gail Meyer

Teresa Palmer - Iggy Starr

Stephanie Hsu - Alma Milan

Summary

Hollywood stuntman Colt Seavers doubles for famous action star Tom Ryder.

After a stunt breaks his back, Colt abandons his girlfriend Jody, a camerawoman.

18 months later.

Ryder's producer Gail tells Colt that Jody wants him to join production in her directorial debut, a glitzy romantic sci-fi epic called Metalstorm.

Posters call it The Metalstorm, but dialogue begs to differ.

Hmmm.

When he arrives on set, she's still pissed about their break-up.

Gail reveals to Colt that Ryder has gone missing after getting involved with drugs and she asks him to find him before Metalstorm is cancelled.

Mid-credits

Staggering from a crashed helicopter, Gail and Tom are confronted by crew members (Lee Majors and Heather Thomas) cameoing as police officers.

Tom panics and is subsequently blown up by radio-triggered pyros.

Alma makes a call, asking for Jason Momoa's agent, potentially setting up an actual remake of 1983 film Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn.

Now that could be AWESOME.

Sexy bacon, spicy margaritas and bad decisions

Running time could've been trimmed by about 20 minutes, but I was still thoroughly entertained.

Eight and a half cannon rolls in a car breaks the current record set by Adam Kirley in Casino Royale (2006).

Logan Holladay take a bow.

This is Gosling's third outing as a stuntman.  However, unlike Drive (2011) and The Place Beyond the Pines (2012), character isn't involved in criminal activity.

While action is tight and smooth, the chemistry between leads is comparable to a hot summer's day.

Love Lies Bleeding - The scoop and digest

The second feature from Rose Glass is co-written by Weronika Tofilska.

Kristen Stewart - Lou

Katy O'Brian - Jackie

Jena Malone - Beth

Anna Baryshnikov - Daisy

Dave Franco - J.J.

Ed Harris - Lou Sr.

Summary

Not that it really matters, but like Lisa Frankenstein, film occurs in 1989.

Gym manager Lou meets Jackie, who's making her way to Las Vegas to compete in the finals of a bodybuilding contest.

They soon get acquainted and have sex.

Lou's sister Beth is stuck in an abusive marriage with J.J. who off-screen, hospitalizes Beth.

Unbeknownst to Lou, an emotionally unstable Jackie beats J.J. to death.

They drive his corpse and car into a ravine, we learn Lou formerly helped her estranged father kill his business rivals.

Meanwhile, Lou's friend Daisy uses her knowledge of J.J.'s murder to blackmail her into entering a relationship.

When Jackie goes ape shit in Vegas, Lou Sr. coerces her to kill Daisy.

Lust and violence

Compared to Saint Maud (which I fucking loved btw), I was pretty disappointed.

Performances are good and Clint Mansell's thumping score delivers, but story soon becomes messier than a baby's nappy.

Due to steroid-induced psychosis, Jackie hallucinates vomiting up Lou, smacking of Poltergeist II: The Other Side.  Also, her growing gigantic near the end is presumably a bizarre take on Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.

Stupid.

Anyway, my ultimate bugbear was watching a blatant imitation of the Wachowskis' ground-breaking 1996 lesbian crime thriller Bound.

Tarot - The scoop and digest

Ignoring the fact that other unrelated films of same name exist, Spenser Cohen and Anna Halberg's feature-length debut (which they also wrote), is based on John Peel's 1992 novel Horrorscope (under the pen name of Nicholas Adams).

Harriet Slater - Haley

Jacob Batalon - Paxton

Avantika Vandanapu - Paige

Adain Bradley - Grant

Humberly González - Madeline

Wolfgang Novogratz - Lucas

Larsen Thompson - Elise

Olwen Fouéré - Alma Astryn

Summary

A group of friends discover a deck of mysterious tarot cards in the basement of a house and Haley uses them to read horoscopes, including her own.

The next day, monstrous versions of respective cards such as The High Priestess, The Fool, The Hanged Man, The Hermit etc start causing people to die, exactly as readings predicted.

Out of desperation, they visit occultist expert Alma Astryn for help.  She identifies the cards belonged to an 18th century Astrologer who before committing suicide, bound her spirit to the dead and cursed the deck to kill anyone who touches them.

In order to change their fate, the deck must be destroyed.

When that fails, another strategy is employed.

The dark design of fate

While better than Slender Man, Truth or Dare (2018) and The Bye Bye Man (which I'm still receiving therapy for), generic yarn was still fucking awful.

Final Destination-esque approach could've been fun, but is ruined by piss poor execution.

Kills are boring, monsters suck and performances are spectacularly erratic.

At one point, comedy character Paxton announces something like:

"I'm gonna go back to my room, lock myself in there and wait for this shit to blow over."

The preferred plan of action in Shaun of the Dead:

"Take car. Go to mum's. Kill Phil, grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over."

How's that for a slice of fried gold?

Challengers - The scoop and digest

Luca Guadagnino's romantic dramedy is written by Justin Kuritzkes.

Zendaya - Tashi Duncan

Josh O'Connor - Patrick Zweig

Mike Faist - Art Donaldson

Summary

Film begins where it ends, during the final of the 2019 Men's Singles Championship in New York, contested by former friends and fierce rivals Art Donaldson and Patrick Zweig.

Thirteen years earlier, they met then 18-year-old tennis phenomenon Tashi Duncan.

As narrative relentlessly jumps between past and present, a three-way romance ensues, with plenty of undiluted toxic deuce.

Game changers

Although not really alike, the nearest comparison is Richard Loncraine's Wimbledon.

Anyway, kinetic romp was surprisingly brilliant.

Leading lady once again shows why she's such hot property at the moment and you can't take your eyes off her.

While at a premium, tennis sequences are far from balls, serving exquisite volleys of drama and excitement.

Fresh from Bones and All, Trent Reznor and Atticus Rose compose another banging soundtrack, and I defy anybody not to tap feet in conjunction to the beat.

Boy Kills World - The scoop and digest

Produced by Sam Raimi and Zainab Azizi, Moritz Mohr (who also co-wrote screen story), makes his feature-length directorial debut.

Bill Skarsgård - Boy

Jessica Rothe - June 27

Michelle Dockery - Melanie Van Der Koy

Brett Gelman - Gideon Van Der Koy

Isaiah Mustafa - Benjamin

Famke Jannsen - Hilda Van Der Koy

Sharlto Copley - Glen Van Der Koy

Yayan Ruhian - Shaman

H. Jon Benjamin - Voice of Boy

Summary

On the same day of every year, the Van Der Koy family host The Culling, which executes twelve people on live television.

After his family is killed, a young child known only as the Boy is subsequently trained in combat by a Shaman.

Years later, an inner voice from Boy's favourite arcade game Super Dragon Punch Force 2 fuels his insatiable appetite for revenge.

Tonight, Hilda's empire crumbles.

Post-credits

Some time later, Boy and Mina scoff cereal at the Shaman's hut.

Miscreants and murderers

Despite the obvious influences of John Wick, graphic novels and The Purge, this is unofficially, the best video game film ever made.

Nonsensical plot is complemented by a script cheesier than a sandwich, but ultra violent action renders criticisms irrelevant.

Shit man, even silly music suits.

Camera swoops around action sequences like an eagle and the novel use of a cheese grater makes Evil Dead Rise seem tame.

Event's 25th anniversary is presented as a children's show, starring Octo Thief, Captain Frostington, Gary the Goat and Pineapple Pal.

Winter wonderland is soon bathed in blood.

How marvellous.

I was worried that Mad Dog would only play a small part, but thanks to predictable twist of making him the big bad, we get a very impressive three-way fight, which doesn't just copy The Raid.

During last knockings, a flashback shows siblings playing SDPF 2, where a voice announces "Player 2 Has Entered The Game".

Shaun of the Dead anybody?

End titles includes a static shot of Mina and Boy 'walking' towards a parked motorbike.

This expertly recreates Kaneda in a poster for Akira.

Yes I'm great.

The Amazing World of SNK's Neo Geo

Fatal Fury: King of Fighters was labelled as being a shameless clone of Street Fighter II: The World Warrior.

The debut of Terry and chums was designed by Takashi Nishiyami and Hiroshi Matsumoto, who had earlier created Street Fighter.

Nishiyami recalls:

"Even when I started working at SNK, I wanted to challenge myself to create a storyline and characters that were easier to emphasize with, something I couldn't achieve with Street Fighter. That's how I created Fatal Fury, but when it was released, Street Fighter II was already very popular. There was only a 5-month gap between the release timings for both games, and there would not be enough time to develop it after it was released. Even though we made Street Fighter in the first place it was often called a rip-off (laughs)."

Fun fact.

Both games count 55 megs.

Amusingly, 'similar' characters aren't even from SF II.

Hwa Jai vs Adon

Michael Max vs Mike

Here comes an unrelated character.

Balrog/M. Bison

As with everybody else, portrait was redrawn for Super SF II: The New Challengers.

Now he looks like...

It's possible that both had Henry Arthur from Karate Master in mind.

Who the fuck knows?

Finally.

Duck King and Blanka couldn't be more different, but share an identical special attack.

Dialogue

Only a total geek would go through the hassle of doing this.

(Ahem).

Ice cream

Fatal Fury 3: Road to the Final Victory
W...What?! Mai, what in the name of the Great Ice Cream Salesman are you doing here?

Fatal Fury Special
Die like your father, you pin-headed son of an icecream maker!

Eunuch

Art of Fighting 2
...to your pick-up lines. Eunuch!

Fatal Fury 3: Road to the Final Victory
Hey! Get back here, you eunuch!

Crazy funster

Samurai Shodown
Then die, you crazy funster!

World Heroes 2 Jet
Why you, you, YOU...
YOU CRAZY FUNSTER!
To think that you were this strong!

Oshkosh

Art of Fighting 2
You worm! I'm from Oshkosh!

Fatal Fury 3: Road to the Final Victory
The world will all be mine, except for Oshkosh. But first, to take care of you!

Disease called life

Art of Fighting
Come on! I'm gonna cure you of the disease called life.

Fatal Fury Special
Yes, my friend. I will cure you of the disease called life.

Samurai Shodown
Come, gentle one. I will cure you of the disease called life.

Cream puffs

Art of Fighting 2
Gee. Boxers really are cream puffs.

Fatal Fury Special
Krauser! I'm not a cream puff. Got it!

World Heroes 2
"That's cream puff, idiot. And the answer is no!"

Variations

Power pole

Art of Fighting 2
I thought so. The power of my pole is positively preposterous!

Fatal Fury Special
Eat my power pole, pansy. A nice treat after a long separation.

Syrup

Fatal Fury Special
Blood is thick, but syrup's thicker. Think about it.

Samurai Shodown
Life is a stewed peach in a lot of syrup... Ukyo.

Big

The King of Fighters '94
All of you are just big!

Savage Reign
Adults are only big!
Why don't you understand it?

Mysterious

Fatal Fury 3: Road to the Final Victory
These Japanese I always find quite mysterious.

The King of Fighters '94
China is so mysterious!

Kitchen

It's clear where translators think women belong.

Art of Fighting 2
Go back to the kitchen. Babe!

Fatal Fury 3: Road to the Final Victory
This place is not for a woman!
Go back home, take off your shoes, and stay in the kitchen!

World Heroes
Ha,ha,ha. Would you like to make any other comments about my place being in the kitchen?

Impertinent

Savage Reign
Impertinent whelp!
Feel my wrath!

Samurai Shodown II
You, impertinent small fry, I'll eat, eat you all!

Clean teeth

Art of Fighting 2
Heh, heh. I'll clean my teeth with you.

Samurai Shodown
I'll clean my teeth with you.

Fatal Fury 3: Road to the Final Victory
Don't threaten me with the Shiranui name! I'll clean my teeth with that family!

Historical figures

Samurai Shodown
I thought I was dead. But I think I'm Cleopatra, too.

World Heroes 2 Jet
Hanzou. I thought you were my equal. Then I think I'm Napoleon, too.

Metal Slug

Samurai Shodown IV: Amakusa's Revenge
Run home to mommy!

Allen O'Neil taunts player by saying: "Come on boy, go home to mommy!"

Cultural references

Expect a bit of everything.

Bloodsport

Fatal Fury
Did you think you could beat me! Go home!

After throwing an opponent out of the ring, Ray Jackson says: "Go home!"

Muhammad Ali

Float like a feather.
Sting like a hornet.
No, that's not it.

Quote paraphrases the GOAT:

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."

The Wizard of Oz

The King of Fighters '96
Someday, everyone will know Todo! No, not the dog!

Kasumi references her father sharing the same name as Dorothy's dog.

Trouble is, mutt was called Toto.

Scum

Real Bout Fatal Fury
In the company of long-term friend P-Chan, I'M HAPPY is written on Duck's forehead.

A massive stretch I know, but...

A defiant Archer paints I AM HAPPY on a wall.

Multiples

Fatal Fury 3: Road to the Final Victory

Dream Amusement Park has a Joy Division saloon bar

Sokaku's stage is full of Unknown Pleasures.

Why, by the hairs of my chengny, cheng, cheng... It's Cheng!

Wolf and pig exchange proverbial phrase in The Three Little Pigs nursery rhyme.

"Little pig, little pig, let me come in."

"No, not by the hair on my chinny chin chin."

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in."

Also, helicopter's tail boom displays Ching.

HA HA HA!

Back to the Future

World Heroes
Thou hast been vanquished.
Make like a Bonsai and leave!

Biff's signature catchphrase is "Make like a tree, and get outta here.!"

Back to the Future Part II

World Heroes 2
"Yeeeeow!"
"Of all the mysteries of the universe. There is none more perplexing than that of western women."

Doc Brown: "Time-travelling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself, to study, the other great mystery of the universe. Women."

Similar... yes?

World Heroes 2 Jet

I am well aware of your big eyes and teeth. Call me the friendly woodsman! Grimm, huh.

Little Red Riding Hood observes her 'granny's' big eyes and teeth.

One of the best known versions was written by the Brothers' Grimm, making spiel either clever or a mistake.

Love this one.

I am a viking, and I am okay. I pillage all night, and I sleep all day!

As performed by Michael Palin, lyrics from said verse in the Lumberjack song from Monty Python's Flying Circus are:

"I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay, I sleep all night and I work all day."

Samurai Shodown

Batman Returns

For everyone to remember:
I am Wan-Fu, hear me roar.

Michelle Pfeiffer states:

"I am Catwoman, hear me roar."

Stand by Me

Sic 'im, Poppy.

Junkyard owner Milo Pressman sets his dog Chopper on Gordie, angrily screaming "Sic 'im boy."

But what I heard was "Chopper, sic balls."

Tokugawa, you filth!
I stab at thee

Tokugawa was a former shogun and the rest is taken from Herman Melville's novel Moby-Dick; or, The Whale.

"Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale, to the last I grapple with thee, from hell's heart I stab at thee, for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee."

For shiggles, meat forms part of Khan's monologue in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

Art of Fighting 2

Apocalypse Now

I've smelled napalm in the morning. You didn't scare me!

Lt. Colonel Kilgore: "I love the smell of napalm in the morning."

Queen

We are the champions, my friend. And we will keep victorious til the end. Wah hah haaaaah!

In reality.

We are the champions, my friend. And we will keep on fighting until the end.

Betty Boop

Jack: Oooh. Trickey Mickey the boxer boy. Eat my shoe boop boop bedoo.

Boop-Oop-a-Doop is her signature phrase.

W.B. Yeats

Mickey: Read a lot of Yeats, huh. The poet of South-Town. Pansy!

Random as fuck.

Join me next time for the thrilling conclusion.