The Bride! - The scoop and digest

Writer-director Maggie Gyllenhaal, (in only her second feature after The Lost Daughter), reimagines The Bride of Frankenstein (1935).

Jessie Buckley - The Bride/Mary Shelley

Christian Bale - Frank

Peter Sarsgaard - Det. Jake Wiles

Annette Bening - Dr. Cornelia Euphronius

Jake Gyllenhaal - Ronnie Reed

Penélope Cruz - Myrna Malloy

Zlatko Burić - Lupino

Summary

In order to tell the story she wanted to after Frankenstein, Mary Shelley in the afterlife possesses a woman called Ida in 1936 Chicago, who in a trance reveals the criminal activities of mob boss Lupino.

She's killed after Lupino's henchmen push her down a flight of stairs.

Elsewhere, Frankenstein (having taken his father's name), visits Dr. Euphronius for her to create a companion for him, and only agrees because "Frank" thinks she's a mad scientist.

"This is an emergency. SOS, fire, fuck!"

(Laughs).

They exhume Ida's body and revive her.

Although resistant at first, she believes Frank's yarn that she was with him in a previous life.

And so begins a crazy road trip across America, with murderous exploits attracting the attention of Det. Wiles and his assistant Myrna Malloy.

Loneliness is agony

Well, this definitely left its 'mark', largely a dirty one.

Buckley and Bale are basically a version of Bonnie and Clyde and hot mess would've been terrible if it wasn't for them.

Heck, even one of Lupino's henchmen is called Clyde, who according to Ida, has a cock the size of a belly button.

Leading lady's dual role is a direct nod to Elsa Lanchester.

Frank watches Revolt of the Zombies at the cinema, which is the same principle as Jean Reno in Léon enjoying It's Always Fair Weather (1955).

Another film apparently referenced is True Romance (1993), as Mary Shelley influences Iris, a la Elvis and Clarence.

Ida and Frank take it in turns killing people and approach becomes repetitive.

Still, dance routines are appropriately batshit.

At one point, Frank gets a tattoo. Sure, whatever.

Although not an official adaptation, I'd recommend Yorgos Lanthimos' far superior Poor Things (2024).

Scream 7 - The scoop and digest

Before diving in, it's impossible not to talk about the history.

Following the departure of Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett due to scheduling conflicts with Abigail (2024), Christopher Landon was brought in to helm project.  But everything went tits up after Melissa Barrera was fired, leading to Jenna Ortega jumping ship and Landon also exiting.

Now you're fully clued up, Kevin Williamson directs and co-writes screenplay with Guy Busick.

Neve Campbell - Sidney Prescott-Evans

Isabel May - Tatum Evans

Joel McHale - Mark Evans

Courteney Cox - Gale Weathers
Jasmin Savoy Brown - Mindy Meeks-Martin

Mason Gooding - Chad Meeks-Martin

McKenna Grace - Hannah Thurman

Asa Germann - Lucas Bowden

Summary

After unofficially 'coming out of hiding' (the bullshit excuse for character's absence from previous entry), Sidney has made a new life for herself in Pine Grove.  She's married to police officer Mark Evans and runs The Little Latte Coffee Co.

Ghostface contacts Sidney and requests a video call, revealing him as a scarred Stu Macher (Matthew Lillard), saying he's outside the school theatre where her daughter Tatum is rehearsing.

"It's showtime bitch!"

Where the heart is

Opening sequence in Woodsboro has Stab enthusiast Scott (Jimmy Tatro) and girlfriend Madison (Michelle Randolph) arrive at Stu's former house, that has since become a museum.

Ignoring Ghostface motion-activated robot, the killer claims both victims and burns building down.

But that's about as good as shit gets, as although Hannah disemboweled on a flying trapeze was nasty, the rest is blunter than a broken butter knife. 

Gale kills Ghostface with her car, but when unmasked, the police identify him as murderer Karl Gibbs, who recently escaped from a mental institution.

Whether intentional or not, this smacks of Ben Tramer in Halloween II (1981), as he's wearing a similar mask and costume to Michael Myers.

Medical orderly Marco (Ethan Embry) is the first Ghostface killer and created the AI deepfakes of Stu and co, but the real mastermind is Sidney's psycho superfan neighbour Jessica (Anna Camp), who's been inspired by her exploits.  Seeing 'hero' as past her prime, she intends to put Tatum through the same final girl ordeal and turn her into Sidney 2.0.

So fucking DUMB.

Anyway, Marco is taken out with a single bullet, while Sidney and Tatum shoot Jessica repeatedly in the head.

An eighth is already in early development, but I couldn't give two shits.

Resident Evil Requiem

The ninth main entry marks franchise's 30th anniversary, but does it deliver or disappoint?

Warning. Heavy spoilers.

Summary

In October 2026, (28 years after Raccoon City wasn't completely destroyed by a missile strike), FBI techincal analyst Grace Ashcroft is sent by her superior Nathan Dempsy to report on the latest T-Virus related death at Wrenwood Hotel, where her mother Alyssa was murdered by ex-Umbrella scientist Dr. Victor Gideon eight years prior, on 19 October 2018 to be exact.

After recovering a disk left by Alyssa at long abandoned venue, Grace is kidnapped by Victor.

Meanwhile, DSO agent Leon S. Kennedy (working closely with Sherry Birkin), are also investigating the deaths and displaying T-Virus symptoms.

M'boy meets Grace at Rhodes Hill Chronic Care Centre, but are soon separated.

When I say all hell breaks loose, I'm not taking the Elpis.

Grace Under Pressure

Miss Ashcroft fires pistol and throws molotov cocktails, but largely must evade lumbering hag beast Marie, aka The Girl and Subject 170.  

Siphoning infected blood crafts items and hemolytic injectors, which kill zombies and prevent corpses from reanimating.

PS. Oswell Spencer adopted her as an infant.

Leon the Professional

The equivalent of collecting blood is a gunpowder-based scavenging system.

Once in Raccoon City, we get a Tactical Tracker that logs combat data in real-time.  Credits are tallied up at supply boxes and used to buy, sell, and upgrade weapons.

For the first time, we can throw weapons dropped by enemies and also swing a chainsaw.  His hatchet is used to attack, parry and block attacks.

Melee kills would make John Wick blush and splattering environments with zombie claret never gets boring.

Ash and memories

Around 10 hours is packed with horror, excitement and stylish action, which had me mixing herbs with giddy delight.

As per Revelations, story alternates between characters and identical to RE 3, sections state a specific time and date.

Obese bastards (dubbed Chunks) are actually brothers.  Thomas K. Jackson is triggered once the Level 1 ID wristband is acquired at Rhodes Hill and can be killed with three hemolytics.  An even easier way is to lead him to the Waiting Room, throw a glass bottle near the door and the zombie who hates noise will do it for you.

Leon takes care of Timothy B. by traditional means.

Unlike the mindless shamblers in previous games, zombies at Rhodes Hill retain memories of their human selves and actually talk, giving some unique personalities.

For example, the chef continues to work in his kitchen and a maid obsessively cleans.

Creepiest of all are Selena Corey and Eileen Zimmerson, who sing and scream.

Broken dialogue can be amusing, but not in a stupid way.  In general, voice acting is strong and script doesn't slice cheese, appropriately giving Leon plenty of sarcastic quips and sharp comebacks.

Gore, dismemberment and body physics are on another level and protagonists die in a variety of brutal ways.

While Blister Heads are never as terrifying as Crimson Heads, they still deserve respect.  Mutated versions Blister Bornes can only be killed by destroying tumours.

Zeno (strongly inferred to be a clone of Wesker), plays Grace footage of the Orphanage in February 1990, focused on Chloe avoiding red-eyed Children.

Getting caught will result in a broken neck (albeit off-screen).

Raccoon City

Almost immediately, we're ambushed by Titan Spinner, the best giant spider series has ever produced.

Exclusive locations include Logistics Warehouse, Cedarbrooks Apartment and Grimstone Building.

The remains of RPD is nostalgia porn, but every nod and callback must be savoured.

After taking care of Super Tyrant, we go underground to access ARK, taking out Plant 43 on the way.

Endings

Grace enters the control chamber with Leon and we're given a choice at the terminal housing Elpis.

Destroy

The wrong password activates facility's self-destruct sequence and Zeno executes Leon.  Grace reaches the surface and Zeno is buried in the debris.

Release

After entering 'Hope', Grace realises Elpis is not a weapon, but an antiviral.  Unaware, Zeno injects himself, inadvertently removing superhuman powers, while Grace cures Leon.

Victor appears and decapitates Zeno, intending to take Elpis for nefarious means.  He becomes a monster, then stereotypical wall of flesh.

Leon and Grace are rescued by Captain Chris Redfield's Hound Wolf Squad.  In the aftermath, Emily is found alive.

Post-credits

Available only in the canon ending, Grace tells Leon she's adopted Emily (who's since regained her eyesight), and Sherry is also fine.

At the ARK wreckage, two unknown soldiers have neutralized the remaining BSAA forces and retrieve their 'objective'.

Is this setting up DLC with Ada?

Maybe.

Verdict 9/10

'Probably' everything that ripped off Resident Evil - File 2

Crimson Peak (2015) vs Code: Veronica (2000)

Stories are unrelated, but comparisons can't be coincidence.

Lucille and ¹Thomas Sharpe vs Alexia and Alfred Ashford

Lucille is unhealthily obsessed with her brother, just like Alfred is with Alexia.  

What's this?

¹Thomas Ashford

Hmmm.

Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)

Book One
Perhaps by accident, but the first part of four-piece Hong Kong comic series (later translated into English for American audiences), swapped the position of identical twins.

Allerdale Hall vs Private Residence

Sure there isn't a creepy doll suspended in mid-air, but gothic principle remains.

Book Two

In the game, Steve doesn't explore area with Claire.

Now let's look at some finer details.

Lucille's ring vs Alexia's choker

Ants eating butterfly vs ants eating dragonfly

And my personal favourite.

Lucille tells Edith (Mia Wasikowska) the music she's playing is an old lullaby she used to sing to Thomas when they were young.

Dialogue makes no sense, as piece is only instrumental.

After Alfred awakes Alexia from cryogenic sleep, Chris (before encountering Wesker), sees lady pants on a monitor screen while searching for Claire at Rockfort Island.

There was a friendly, but naive King, who wed a very nasty Queen.
The King was loved but the Queen was feared.
Til one day, strolling in his court, an arrow pierced the kind King's heart.
He lost his life and his Lady love. 

Bottom Feeder (2007)

A group of people are trapped underground with a scientist mutated into a hybrid creature by his serum.

Dr. Nathaniel Leech vs Dr. William Birkin

Serum vs G-Virus

Creature vs "G"

Unlike Birkin (who gets stronger with every skin he casts off), Leech literally becomes what he eats.

Krendal vs Ada Wong²

Double agents work for very different agencies, to acquire, what do you think...

²Femme fatale was almost a generic lab researcher called Linda.

Charles Deavers and Kenneth J. Sullivan³ both lose their heads.

³Uncensored versions of RE (1996) only, most famously the PC.

Finally.

Dr. Nathaniel Bard was created exclusively for RE 3, which you all know I love. 

Err, surely Capcom didn't lift name?

Death Valley (2021)

Shudder exclusive was directed by Matthew Ninaber and couldn't be more blatant.

Alpha Team

Gavin

X. Cheng

Rachel

Bravo Team

Beckett

Junior

Moses

Preacher

Olek

Beckett vs Leon

'Likeness' was not lifted from any video game.

In a stunning twist:

Jeremy Ninaber vs Johann Urb - RE: Retribution (2012) 

WHAT?

Cadaver vs Nosferatu

Militia Boy vs Hunk

Infected Man vs Turning around zombie

But the prize goes to:

Monster vs Licker

And (apparently) lifted from RE (2002).

Yeah, not the Gamecube remake.

Climax to follow (at some point in March).

One Mile: Chapter One and Two - The scoop and digest

Action thrillers were shot back-to-back and released simultaneously.

Ryan Phillippe - Danny Beckett

Amélie Hoeferle - Alex Beckett

C. Thomas Howell - Stanley Dixon

Sara Canning - Janine Beckett

Sage Linder - Lily

Chapter One

Written by TJ Brady, Rasheed Newson and John Hlavin

Directed by Adam Davidson

Summary

Young couple Lily and Brandon stop one mile from a lake and hunters ambushed them.

Lady and geezer are kidnapped and knocked out respectively.

At some point later, former special forces operative Danny attempts to reconnect with his teenage daughter Alex by touring colleges.

En route to Port Winston, a creepy guy at a garage takes an interest in Alex.

Camping at the same location, hunters try and do to Alex what they did with Lily, but Danny isn't having none of it, angering gang leader Stanley.

Cult kidnap women to breed, as island's women struggle to give birth.  On the rare occasion that they do conceive, offspring die quickly, because of toxins in water supply.

They overpower Danny and leave him for dead, but they've messed with the wrong dad.

Definitions of love

Taken wannabe has some decent fight choreography and Danny torturing crew by chopping off finger and ear is surprisingly graphic.

Did they have Joel and The Last of Us in mind?

Maybe.

As a strange 'coincidence', Abby is Stanley's wife, but she doesn't play golf with somebody's head.

An explosion caused by a gas leak kills most, but a badly burned Stanley seeks revenge, primarily motivated by Danny killing his son Ray.

Chapter Two

Written by TJ Brady and Rasheed Newson

Directed by Adam Davidson

Why did Hlavin depart?

Don't know.

Summary

Picking up not long after predecessor ended, Alex is enjoying life at art school.

One night after bowling with friends, Alex jumps in a taxi, but behind the wheel is Angus, one of Stanley's cronies.

Danny is called on Alex's phone, forcing him to infiltrate island community and despoil paradise once and for all.

Solo extraction

Forgettable Commando clone fell desperately flat, begging the question - what the fuck happened here?

Lily was already pregnant from the beginning and new character Wayne protected her by pretending to be child's father.

Yeah, he's a good guy and not like the rest.

Even though he's mentioned, Brandon bizarrely never appears.

Janine is conveniently kidnapped off-screen, and learning of his betrayal, Stanley executes Wayne.

After Danny's cringing monologue (that seems to go forever), Alex comically snipes Stanley's sorry ass.

As community mourns leader's death, Danny etc and Lily leave unopposed.

Crime 101 - The scoop and digest

Based on Don Winslow's 2020 novella of same name, writer-director Bart Layton cuts the docudrama apron strings.

Chris Hemsworth - Mike/James Davis

Mark Ruffalo - Det. Lou Lubesnick

Barry Keoghan - Ormon

Halle Berry - Sharon Coombs

Monica Barbaro - Maya

Corey Hawkins - Det. Tillman

Nick Nolte - Money

Jennifer Jason Leigh - Angie

Tate Donovan - Steven Monroe

Summary

Mike Davis is a professional jewellery thief, priding himself in not using violence or leaving DNA evidence at the scene.

Hot on his case is Det. Lou Lubesnick, who links Mike's recent diamond theft to a spate of unsolved robberies.

After Mike falls out with feisty fence Money, volatile biker Ormon is recruited to foil Mike's next job.

Adding to the chaos are sexy insurance broker Sharon and Mike's love interest Maya, he met after she rear-ended his car.

One man should choose a different path

Boasting exciting (if sparse action), gorgeous cinematography and great performances, cat-and-mouse thriller hits the high notes.

It also marks Thor and Hulk's first collaboration outside the MCU.

While unconfirmed, I'd suggest the inspiration for Ormon was Ryan Gosling in The Place Beyond the Pines (2012), as both characters have blonde hair, ride motorbikes and steal for a living.

For all its superlatives, the similarities to Michael Mann's glittering CV are obscene.

Rather ironically, Hemsworth starred as a hacker in Blackhat (2015).  Here, Devon Bostick plays a hacker. 

Anyway, Mike is a derivative of Frank (James Caan) in Thief (1981).

But the comparisons to Heat (1995) cannot be ignored.

Lou = Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino)

Mike = Neil McCauley (Robert De Niro)

Angie = Justine (Diane Venora)

Maya = Eady (Amy Brennerman)

If that wasn't enough, Mike tells Maya he does sales stuff and Eady thinks Neil is a salesman.

No joke.

Cold Storage - The scoop and digest

Based on his book, horror comedy is written by David Koepp and directed by Jonny Campbell, twenty years after feature debut Alien Autopsy.

Georgina Campbell - Naomi Williams

Joe Keery - Travis "Tea Cake" Meacham

Liam Neeson - Major Robert Quinn

Lesley Manville - Lt. Col. Trini Romano

Richard Brake - Jerabek

Gavin Spokes - Griffin

Summary

In 1979, an oxygen tank containing a hostile parasitic fungus from the Skylab space station crashed in Western Australia.

After it was found by a farmer in 2005, he tells microbiologist Dr. Martins (Sosie Bacon) that 'something' has escaped.

Martins arrives on the scene with Major Quinn and Lt. Col. Romano, finding the farmer dead and other bodies burst from the inside.

Don't worry, this is nothing like Alien.

Martins steps on remnant, becomes infected and commits suicide.

The military warm shit up and take sample away.

Kansas, present day.

Tea Cake (sharing name with a famous character from 1937 novel Their Eyes Were Watching) and Naomi work as security guards at a self storage facility, where the fungus is hidden underground.

They investigate the source of an alarm set off by a sudden rise in temperature, and find an infected rat king outside the vault.

When Quinn is contacted by 'Abigail' from the DTRA (Defense Threat Reduction Agency), all concerned are about to have the longest night of their lives.

The Atchison Incident

Forget The Last of Us, this was more in the vein of The Return of the Living Dead (1985), but never as good. 

But 90 minutes never takes itself too seriously, serving an impressive amount of goo and gore.

Once Naomi's ex-boyfriend Mike gets infected, he behaves very much like The Bug assuming the disguise of Edgar in Men in Black (1997).

Climax fell flat, as Quinn gives Tea Cake and Naomi a dirty bomb, causing facility to go bang without incident.

An end boss would've been nice, but nope.

Film ends on a clumsy note, with another unwell stag projectile vomiting.