Thursday, 11 June 2026

Mortal Kombat: Kompendium of Karnage

Previously...


Now I go all out attack. 

Pit-Fighter¹ (1990)
The first fighting game to used digitised actors.
¹ntbcw similarly titled film Pit Fighter (2005).

While a major influence on Mortal Kombat, game rips off the mechanics of a lesser known scrap fest, before SNK released the Neo Geo.

Street Smart² (1989)
Ignoring hand-drawn sprites, the genesis of Fatal Fury (1991) allows you to move around whichever arena and opponents even flash red when nearly defeated.
²unrelated to 1987 film of same name.

Anyway, here's some fun connections to my favourite JCVD film Lionheart (1990).

Marc D. Williams as:

N.Y. Homeless Fighter #1 (left) and Ty (right)


James Thompson as:

N.Y. 'Monster' Fighter (left) and Southside Jim (right)


Anyway, I digress.

Miscellany

MK X (2015) teaser poster vs The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)


Spine instead of people?

Clever.

Art the Clown³ vs Shang Tsung Bang Bang fatality - MK (2011)


³Before the Terrifier series, bastard debuted in All Hallows' Eve (2013).

Oh yeah.

It (1990 miniseries)
Tim Curry knocked it out of the park as Pennywise.
Novocaine (2025)

Socially awkward Nathan Caine (Jack Quaid) has Congenital Insenstivity to Pain with Anhidrosis (CIPA), meaning he can't feel pain.

After Simon breaks his arm, Nathan kills antagonist by driving his fractured bone through his jaw/brain.


MK 1 (2023)

There's more to Havik's RAD-ius Incision fatality, but the principle of using exposed bone to mutilate opponent remains.


MK 3 (1995)

After failing to convince his superiors of the coming Outworld menace, Jax prepares for future battles with Kahn's minions by outfitting both arms with indestructible bionic implants.
Meet the 'family'.

Night Slashers (1993)
In Data East's classic horror-themed scrolling brawler, American monster hunter Jake (aka "The Psychic Cyborg"), had his natural arms replaced by cybernetic mechanisms
Streets of Rage 4 (2020)
Floyd Iraia is a part-cybernetic apprentice of Dr. Zan.
If you think that's weird.

Giant Stomp vs Chronos "Evil" Lait and Proud Cragger team magic - Golden Axe III (1993)


HA HA HA!

MK II (1993)

Sequel upped the stakes in every way and also introduced Friendships and Babalities.

But my priorities lie elsewhere.

Brain Dead 13 (1995) vs The Dead Pool fatality


Pray for Death⁴ (1996) vs Story ladder


⁴unrelated to 1985 Sho Kusugi film of same name.

Splatterhouse (2010)

Yes, I'm not kidding.

Jax - Arm rip


Johnny Cage - Torso removal


Errr.

Shang Tsung claiming Art Lean's soul - Mortal Kombat (1995) vs Bill totally possessing his father - Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (1991)


Special effects set up bizarre finale.

The Matrix (1999)

Neo goes into Agent Smith's body and obliterates computer virus.


Please compare the above to Shang Tsung's Inner Ear fatality.


You're very welcome.

Sunday, 7 June 2026

Cape Fear (2026) - Episodes 1 and 2

Nick Antosca's Apple TV series is based on John D. MacDonald's 1957 novel The Executioners, and its film adaptations in 1962 and 1991.

Javier Bardem - Max Cady
Amy Adams - Anna Bowden
Patrick Wilson - Tom Bowden
Joe Anders - Zack Bowden
Lily Collias - Natalie Bowden
CCH Pounder - Noa Toussaint

Fingers & Toes

Written by Nick Antosca
Directed by Morten Tyldum

Defense attorney Anna Bowden is also a co-director of the Savannah Justice League Project, which is dedicated to freeing wrongfully convicted inmates.

Max Cady is released from Tarwater State Prison after serving 17 years for stabbing his pregnant wife Melissa to death, and was convinced to take a plea bargain by her husband Tom.

However, a note recovered from Cady's mistress following her suicide exonerates him.

Anna hosts a fundraising gala to boost SJLP's finances, where Max makes gives a speech about what non-profit organisation represents.  This impresses Anna's colleague Noa, who asks him to help publicise their work.

Meanwhile, Anna and Tom's son Zack (recently suspended from school) has disappeared.

Why Would I Want to Hurt You?

Written by André and Maria Jacquemetton
Directed by SJ Clarkson

7 years ago in Tarwater, Max is viciously beaten in the gym, but fights back and kills his attackers, suffering a severe head injury in the process.

Back in the present day, Zack returns home drugged and missing a toe.  Max surprises the Bowdens and implies he kidnapped and tortured Zack as a form of revenge.

After Natalie finds clues that Max broke in, Anna sends an anonymous tip to the police and Max is arrested.

The toe is found when Zack vomits it up and has no recollection of what happened.

After tricking Zack into unlocking his phone, Anna spams message history and suspects the mystery girl he's been speaking to online is actually Max.

While viewing a house he plans to buy, Max hallucinates his dead wife and unborn son sat opposite him. 

Assessment

I had my reservations, but reimagining has every right to exist.

Bardem's unhinged charisma puts a completely different spin on villain and early evidence suggests Adams will be his nemesis, rather than Wilson.

See you next week.

Saturday, 6 June 2026

Scary Movie (2026) - The scoop and digest

Title of sixth entry pokes fun at the trend of legacy sequels having the same name as original.

Anyway, 'rebootiquel' is directed by Michael Tiddes, written by the Wayans family and Rick Alvarez.

Marlon Wayans - Shorty Meeks
Shawn Wayans - Ray Wilkins
Anna Faris - Cindy Campbell
Regina Hall - Brenda Meeks
Olivia Rose Keegan - Sara Campbell
Dave Sheridan - Doofy Gilmore
Savannah Lee Nassif - Tuesday Campbell
Cheri Oteri - Gail Hailstorm
Gregg Wayans - Brad Meeks
Kim Wayans - Nurse Ratchett

Additionally, Antony Anderson, Kai Cenat, Teyana Taylor and Shaquille O'Neal appear as themselves.

Summary

A group of friends reunite when a masked killer they first encountered 26 years ago begins another reign of terror.

Unlike the original, film is set in Woodsville, an obvious play on Scream's Woodsboro.

Extra scenes

A trailer for Brosferatu (a spoof of Robert Eggers' 2024 remake of Nosferatu) and an interrogation scene from Longlegs featuring Really Really White, is shown throughout the majority of end credits.

Eat a dick

Replay of Scream (2022) has no real continuity and self-contained shit includes Final Destination: Bloodlines, Terrifier 3, Smile, Candyman, Sinners and Weapons.

Two sequences deserve praise.

Ghostface crashes an experimental procedure that Gail is having and injects her with The Stuff (The Substance), causing Tiffany Wilson from White Chicks to be born.

Before killing Tiffany, Ghostface says: "White Chicks 2 my ass."

(Laughs).

Interestingly, The Stuff is a real 1985 film.

During the Get Out part, a stoned Shorty is transported to the Sunken Place by Ghostface, and an alternative music video of Golden by KPop Demon Hunters plays out.

Completely out of place, but cool nevertheless. 

But the rest was about as funny as a drunk sadist removing one's private parts without anaesthetic.

There's a difference between stupid fun and plain stupid, and the humour in this is definitely the latter.

Or put another way - it's fucking terrible.

Shit ends how Scream 7 begins, (a house burning down), and that happening to franchise would be no bad thing.

Friday, 5 June 2026

Masters of the Universe (2026) - The scoop and digest

The second live-action adaptation (after cult 1987 Dolph Lundgren vehicle), is directed by Travis Knight and written by Chris Butler, Aaron Nee, Adam Nee and David Callaham.

Nicholas Galitzine - Adam Glenn
Camila Mendes - Teela
Idris Elba - Duncan/Man-At-Arms
Jared Leto - Lord Skeletor
Alison Brie - Evil-Lyn
James Purefoy - King Randor
Charlotte Riley - Queen Marlena
Morena Baccarin - The Sorceress

Summary

In Eternos (Eternia's capital), a young Prince Adam and his friend Teela are trained in the art of battle by her father Duncan.

City is soon attacked by Lord Skeletor's evil army, who takes Adam's parents King Randor and Queen Marlena prisoner.

The Sorceress opens a portal to Earth and entrusts Adam with Sword of Power, hoping one day he'll return and restore peace.

Unfortunately, wee lad loses pointy stick en route.

Fifteen years later in Oklahoma City, Adam gets an anonymous text claiming his Sword is at the Fright Zone comic store.  He comically reclaims it from a statue and in doing so, 'Highlander' is soon arrested.

Skeletor's lieutenant Beast Man (alerted by a signal sent when Adam raised the sword), turns up and causes mischief.  However, he's rescued by Teela and they escape back to Eternia in her spaceship.

Adam, Teela, Duncan and female service bot Roboto band together to kick tyrannical warlock's ass.

Extra scenes

Orko appears to explain the message of the film, saying "muscles don't necessarily make a man".

She's only seen from behind, but Adam's long-lost twin sister Princess Adora transforms into She-Ra, clutching the Sword of Protection no less.

Post-credits

Evil-Lyn retrieves Skeletor's skull and quips: "I must say, you've looked better."  Screen cuts to black, and a raucous laugh can be heard (bizarrely sounding like Billy in Predator).

By the power of Grayskull

Nothing great by any means, but goofy, self-aware adventure surprised me in a good way.

Galtizine and Mendes share sweet chemistry and Leto arguably gives one of his best performances.

Despite ropey CG, action as above so below is decent enough, and humour lands more than the firepower of Skeletor's Stormtrooper-esque army.

However, bloated running time is sillier than costumes worn, with middle section spectacularly boring.

Sequels and spin-offs seem inevitable, but future depends on box office success.

Thursday, 4 June 2026

'Probably' everything that Resident Evil Requiem ripped off - File 2

At the end of File 1, I teased the best is still to come.


As you'll see, I wasn't fucking kidding.

Miscellany

Victor Gideon vs Guardian - The Evil Within 2 (2017)


Note how human arms are protruding from the good doctor's tentacle.

Helicopter escape

World War Z (2013)

Zombies climbing on


28 Weeks Later (2007)

Chopped into meat


The Girl

Behaving and retreating like the xenomorph in Alien: Isolation apparently wasn't enough.

The Beast - Amnesia: The Bunker (2023).


Making matters worse, both hate the light.

The Mother - Barbarian (2022)


This may be a whimsical tribute to Zach Cregger, who is directing batshit reboot.

Although nervous, I honestly can't wait until 18 September.

Death by sunlight vs Stripe - Gremlins (1984)




Brilliant.

Personal best

Time to spread exuberant wings.

ARK facility vs Wallace Tower - Blade Runner 2049 (2017)


HA HA HA!

As a heads up, Amazon Prime TV series Blade Runner 2099 is due this year.

Zeno carrying Grace vs Lecter and Clarice - Hannibal (2001)


Collection & Testing tanks vs Gravity couches - Event Horizon (1997)


Grace stabbing Officer Norman Cole vs Ana stabbing Bloated Woman - Dawn of the Dead (2004)


Driving a fire poker into respective eyes?

Hmmm.

Once crafted, a hemolytic injector is used to stealthily destroy zombies and prevent them from mutating into Blister Heads.


Blade (1998)

Serum causes vampires to explode.


After Leon returns to the ruins of Raccoon City, he must take care of Titan Spinner.


Those camera angles ring a bell.

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

Frodo is ambushed by Shelob in Torech Ungol.


SERIOUSLY?

Fun fact.

Timeline is shifted forward, as attack occurs near the end of The Two Towers novel.

Finally, something even I think is coincidence.

Thomas K. Jackson vs Bartok maggot - The Fly II (1989)


Shit gets better (or worse), when Emily becomes a monster.


Just... WOW!
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