Sunday, 12 July 2026

Evil Dead Burn - The scoop and digest

The third in modern series and/or sixth overall is brought by Sébastien Vaniček and his Infested team.

Souheila Yacoub - Alice
Tandi Wright - Susan
Hunter Doohan - Joseph
Luciane Buchanan - Thya
Erroll Shand - Edgar
Maude Davey - Polly
George Pullar - Will
Tapiwa Soropa - Mike
Keanu Karim - Jared

Summary

At his family's lakehouse, Joseph Price listens to research recorded by his late grandfather Benjamin on the Necronomicon, and uncovers the Kandarian dagger (created by The Circle of the Wisemen), which can destroy Deadites.

His discovery attracts the attention of Jessica, who murders a pair of fishermen using fish hooks and literally boiling an area of the lake.

To recap, Jessica (now played by Greata van den Brink, not Anna-Maree Thomas), was the Deadite at the 'beginning' of Rise, which actually takes place one day after main event.

We smash cut to Joseph's brother Will, who after having an argument with his wife Alice, drunkenly drives away and crashes into Jessica.  Her severed head recites a passage from the Necronomicon and as Will is possessed and Jessica laughs, he burns to death in the wreckage.

During his cremation, Will's father Edgar says goodbye in private, but his son's corpse escapes the casket and burns him.

Back at the lakehouse, Alice finds the Necronomicon and says "Kunda", "Astratta", "Montosse" and "Canda".

Uh oh.

To your perfect family

There are two extra scenes, which I'll get to later.

Gore and relentless brutality has been hyped beyond belief, and probably does enough to swallow your filthy soul and shit it right back out.

The scene which had to be shortened is Joseph smashing Thya's head in with a dishwasher door.

While film is never scary, Polly driving a fountain pen into Alice's eardrum was particularly cruel.

Climax is basically a replay of the Abomination in Evil Dead, but the CG for Will is terrible.  However, video game geeks (which I'm not obviously) should immediately compare end boss to the final form of Lorenzo Belli from 2005 PS2 classic Haunting Ground.

Alice uses a jackhammer and the dagger to cook bastard's goose.

The mutt that Edgar stabs to death with a fork and later comes back as Dogite is called Max, which is likely a nod to Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

Anyway, as promised.

Mid-credits

A legless Polly crawling on the road is found by a concerned motorist who gets scratched for being a good citizen.

Post-credits

Back at the crematorium, the manager leaves her kid in a room and we're shown two urns as yet unclaimed by loved ones.

First is labelled Christopher Leroy, which has nothing to do with franchise.  Name is a reference to José Garcia's character Christophe Leroy in co-writer Florent Bernard's 2024 feature debut Nous, les Leroy (We, the Leroys).

Then we have Ellie Bixler, whose ghost in human form is reflected in a mirror.  Then Deadite appears behind and breaks the girl's neck, stating: "Mommy's back!"

Wow!

Not in a good way you understand, as this makes no FUCKING sense.

Deadites are not ghosts and only possess physical hosts (living or dead).

At the end of Rise, Ellie, fused with her children Danny, Bridget and neighbours, become the Marauder, and fed to a wood chipper by Bethie Boo.

In other words, just blood and meat - not ashes.

Goung further, how did the crematorium come into possession (pun intended) of her 'remains'.

Set in 1972, Evil Dead Wrath will serve as a prequel to The Evil Dead and due April 2028.

I'm already there.

Wednesday, 8 July 2026

Famous Paintings in Video Games - Final Stroke

Iconic series bows out on a maximum high.

Amnesia: The Dark Descent

Adoration of the Magi - Andrea Mantegna
The Crucifixion - Altbrecht Altdorfer
The Garden of Oriosto - Anselm Feuerbach
Claude Lorrain

Landscape with David at the Cave of Abdullam
Landscape with Apollo Guarding the Herds of Admetus
Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs

Tower of Babel - Pieter Bruegel the Elder
Applicants for Admission to a Casual Ward - Luke Fildes
The Bean Feast - Jan Steen
The Babylonian Marriage Market - Edwin Long
The Blind Fiddler - David Wilkie
Leda and the Swan in the Palace of Fesch Ajaccio - Paolo Veronese
Passage on the River Styx - Nicolas-Louis-François Gosse
The Temptation of St. Anthony (middle panel) - Hieronymus Bosch
A Special Pleader - Charles Burton Barber
The Hunting of Chevy Chase - Edwin Landseer
Antoine Wiertz

Hunger, Madness, Crime
The Premature Burial
Greeks and Trojans Fighting for the Body of Patroclus
Scratches

A Woman Bathing in a Stream - Rembrandt
Arnolfini Portrait - Jan van Eyck
Nessus Abducting Deianeira - Guido Reni
Portrait of Leo X - Raphael
Saturn Devouring His Son - Francisco Goya
The Creation of the Sun, Moon and Vegetation - Michelangelo 
The Crystal Ball - John William Waterhouse
The Favourite Poet - Lawrence Alma-Tadema
The Holy Children with a Shell - Bartolomé Esteban Murillo
The Reader - Jean-Honoré Fragonard
Venus Riding a Satyr - Dirk de Quade van Ravesteyn
Vulcan's Forge - Luca Giordano
Women of Algiers in Their Apartment - Eugène Delacroix
Caravaggio

The Incredulity of Saint Thomas (detail)
The Sacrifice of Isaac (detail)
Pieter Bruegel the Elder

Dulle Griet
Portrait of an Old Woman
The Gloomy Day
The Land of Cockaigne 
Layers of Fear (2016)

For clarity, I'm ignoring 2023 remake of same name, which is also a sequel to Layers of Fear 2 (2019).

L-R: The Infenro (detail) - Herri met de Bles and Stormy Landscape - Rembrandt  
L-R: Portrait of Artillo Ariosti - Anthoni Schoonjans, Brigand Murdering a Woman - Francisco Goya and The Abduction of Ganymede - Rembrandt
Francisco Goya

Portrait of Tio Piquete
Saturn Devouring His Son
Witches' Sabbath
Miscellany

A Party Angling - George Morland
Christ's Descent into Hell (detail) - Hieronymus Bosch
Greyhound and Spaniel - John F. Herring Sr.
Judith Beheading Holofernes - Artemisia Gentileschi
Landscape with Tobit and the Angel - Salvator Rosa
Lotta di Putti - Guido Reni
Mrs Meigs at the Piano Organ - William Merritt Chase
Past and Present No. 1 - Misfortune - Augustus Egg
Portrait of a Dwarf - Juan van der Hamen
Portrait of a Man - Jan van Eyck
Portrait of Antonietta Gonzalez - Lavinia Fontana
Portrait of Francisco Pacheco - Diego Velázquez
Portrait of Jacob Tripp - Rembrandt
Portrait of Aubin Vouet - Simon Vouet
Self-Portrait (1638 version) - Peter Paul Rubens
Self-Portrait - Bartolomé Esteban Murillo 
Self-Portrait - Joshua Reynolds
Still Life with Fruit - Antonio de Pereda
The Abbey in Oakwood - Caspar David Friedrich
The Flaying of Marsyas - Titian
The Incredulity of Saint Thomas (detail) - Caravaggio
The Nightmare (1781 version) - Henry Fuseli 
Women of Algiers in Their Apartment - Eugène Delacroix
The Council

Episode 1: The Mad Ones

Christ Crucified - Diego Velázquez
François I Receiving the Holy Family - Raphael
Hannibal Crossing the Alps - Nicolas Poussin
Jesus Expelling the Merchants from the Temple - Jacob Jordaens
Judith Beheading Holofernes - Artemisia Gentileschi
Louis XIV and Philip V - Adam Frans van der Meulen  
Moliere Dining with Louis XIV -Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres
Saint Jerome and the Angel - Simon Vouet
Saturn Devouring His Son - Francisco Goya
Talma as Nero in Britannicus by Racine - Eugène Delacroix
The Battle of Alexander at Issus - Altbrecht Altdorfer
The Blind Oedipus - Bénigne Gagneraux
The Last Supper - Leonardo da Vinci
Vercingetorix Throwing Down His Arms at the Feet of Julius Caesar - Lionel Royer
Ixion - Jusepe de Ribera
The Last Judgment (right wing) - Hans Memling
The Massacre of the Innocents - Cornelius van Haarlem
Rembrandt

The Nightwatch
The Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp
Jean-Baptiste Regnault

Allegory of the Declaration of the Rights of Man
Liberty or Death
Peter Paul Rubens

Saturn Devouring His Son
The Fall of Phaeton
The Fall of the Damned
The Union of Earth and Water
Caravaggio

The Crucifixion of Saint Peter
The Incredulity of Saint Thomas
The Inspiration of Saint Matthew
Conversion on the Way to Damascus (top) and Saint Francis of Assisi in Ecstasy (bottom)
Episode 2: Hide and Seek

George III - Allan Ramsay
George Washington - Robert Edge Pine
Queen Charlotte - Benjamin West
Tending Children at the Orphanage at Haarlem - Jan de Bray
The Collosus - Francisco Goya
The Ladies Waldegrave - Joshua Reynolds
The Nightmare (1781 version) - Henry Fuseli
David Teniers the Younger

Two versions of The Alchemist were chosen at random.



Guido Reni

Saint John
Saint Mark
Saint Matthew
Saint Paul
Episodes 3-5 gave culture the middle finger, which is pretty selfish if you ask me.

(Laughs).
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