Minions & Monsters - The scoop and digest

Pierre Coffin directs, voices the Minions and co-writes standalone prequel to Minions (2015) with Brian Lynch.

Trey Parker - Goomi

Allison Janney - Olivia

Christoph Waltz - Max

Jesse Eisenberg - Dort

Jeff Bridges - Frank and Elwood Bright

Bobby Moynihan - Phillips

Phil LaMarr - Howard

Summary

At a film history museum, tour guide Olivia shows her group a statue of two minions: best friends James and Henry.  When a little girl says she's never heard of them, Olivia begins to tell their story, which amusingly involves James and Henry accidentally killing evil masters in numerous ways.

In 1927, the gang chase a robber through town and destroy a Hollywood set after train derails, leaving its director Max furious. 

When the footage is shown for studio executives, bosses Frank and Elwood Bright love what they see and want more. 

The Good, The Bad and the Stupid, Look Behind You, and Then Down and They Came from the Stars to Hit You with a Frying Pan: Assignment Miami Beach make James and Henry superstars.

However, they get fired for being unable to adapt to the advent of sound.  

James decides to make his own film and uses a spellbook to summon squid creature Goomi, whose size is not representative of drawing.

Even though Goomi initially helps, he soon uses film as a front to bring forth Irene, so gelatinous monster can destroy the world.

Extras

As end credits roll, Gru, Dr. Nefario, Kevin, Bob and Kyle appear in five distinct scenes.

Riotous mischief

Hilarious thrill ride was an absolute joy from beginning to end.

Slapstick violence is off the scale, and a woman saying "Get lost, you handsome bastard" to Henry during a Detective film was totally unexpected.

HA HA HA! 

Film is packed with clever nods and subtle references to the golden age of Hollywood, the majority of which will sail over young heads.

For example, alien robot Dort is a parody of Gort from The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951).

Also.

Goomi - Cthulhu

Phillips - Dagon

Howard - Nyarlephotep

Irene - Shoggoth

Just in case it wasn't obvious enough, Howard and Phillips are named after H. P. Lovecraft.

The Blob (sorry Irene), is turned into stone when minions in tiny spaceships take aim.

Olivia reveals the entire story (including tour), was actually a film within a film.

Cape Fear (2026) - Episode 5

Faith

Written by Peter Blake

Directed by Steven Piet

Following an argument with Anna outside a movie theatre, Nevaeh gets hit by a car.

But it's cool, as she just gets up and flees. 

Max is confronted by his still unnamed stalker and after they briefly kiss, he threatens to kill 'disgusting sick delusional freak' if their paths cross again.

After discussing Nevaeh's whereabouts with her mother Faith, Anna finds a picture Max sent her of a grave above ground with "One Day I'll Take You Here" written on the back.

Anna returns to Faith, but discovers she's been brutally murdered.

When Max comes sniffing around Natalie, it's revealed the house he bought is opposite them.

Assessment

Entertaining enough, but something really fucking dumb happens.

Tom gets smashed and decides to get involved in a fight Max started when he tries it on with another man's woman.

Obviously you'd get pally and socialise with the person who for all intents and purposes wants to hurt your family.

HA HA HA!

Jackass: Best and Last - The scoop and digest

Jeff Tremaine directs the old and new guard for the final time.

For posterity:

Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Wee Man, Dave England, Danger Ehren, Preston Lacy, Rachel Wolfson, Jasper, Dark Shark, Poopies and Zach Holmes.

Summary

Greatest hits compilation features brand new stunts and never-before-seen footage.

25 years of hurt

First off, Knoxville has confirmed there won't be a .5 sequel.

Recycling tactic may frustrate some, but for me - brought back hilarious memories.

New material includes Larry the robot giving Steve-O a prostate exam using peanut butter as lubricant, a birthday party with a rampant goat and an escape room from hell.

Best of all is Double Boom, as a virtually naked Preston Lacy is lowered down every time participants lying in the hot seat answer incorrectly.

Zach is the unfortunate recipient of Lacy's ass.

(Laughs).

Drinking super laxatives literally results in a shitty game of Twister, with stench causing somebody to vomit.

As Frank Sinatra's My Way plays, 80 minutes or so appropriately concludes as the first film began, with the original cast riding inside a giant shopping trolley through a valley with explosive charges going off around them.  Before makeshift transport goes over a steep cliff, Knoxville announces "It's the end!"

Of course, only dummies were destroyed at the bottom, but sequence was still surprisingly moving.

Supergirl (2026) - The scoop and digest

The second in James Gunn's DC Universe is directed Craig Gillespie and written by Ana Nogueira.

Milly Alcock - Kara Zor-El/Supergirl

Matthias Schoenaerts - Krem

Eve Ridley - Ruthye Marye Knoll

David Krumholtz - Zor-El

Emily Beecham - Alura In-Ze

David Corenswet - Kal-El/Clark Kent/Superman

Jason Momoa - Lobo

Summary

During the destruction of Krypton, Zoe-El and his wife Alura evacuate for Argo City, where Zor-El activates a force field.

Eight years later, Alura gives birth to Kara, but later succumbs to radiation produced by a mineral known as Kryptonite.  Zor-El decides to send Kara to Earth who meets her cousin Clark Kent.

While off-world celebrating her 23rd birthday, Kara meets Ruthye, who asks for help to avenge the death of her family at the hands of Brigand leader Krem, but she's not interested.

Krem shows up with his crew of Mad Max rejects and when Krypto tries to stop them stealing Kara's spaceship, he's shot with a poisonous dart.

Learning that beloved mutt only has three days to live, Kara pursues Krem for the antidote he keeps on his person and reluctantly takes Ruthye along for the ride.

Lots of pain and suffering

Sure the 1984 Helen Slater film was campy trash, but at least had charm.

This on the other hand was an unmitigated disaster.

Alcock is based the Woman of Tomorrow comic miniseries, but I bet character is more likable in source material.

Story is nearly as generic as unexciting action, which is way too dark.

Did they take heavy inspiration from AVP: Requiem?

It's basically 'shit', ironically what the film says rather a lot. 

Aquaman as Czarnian bounty hunter was fun, but Schonaerts is the WORST fucking villain I have ever seen.

Man of Tomorrow is next, and I honestly 'can' wait.

Toy Story 5 - The scoop and digest

The fifth main instalment (set two years after predecessor), is directed by series veteran Andrew Stanton, who conceived story and co-wrote screenplay with Kenna Harris.

Tom Hanks - Woody

Tim Allen - Buzz Lightyear

Joan Cusack - Jessie

Greta Lee - Lilypad

Conan O'Brien - Smarty Pants

Shelby Rabara - Snappy

Craig Robinson - Atlas

Scarlett Spears - Bonnie

Mykal-Michelle Harris - Blaze

Ernie Hudson - Combat Carl

Summary

A cargo ship containing a unit of hi-tech Buzz toys crash-lands on an island.  Stuck in demo mode, they follow the North Star to 'rendezvous' with Star Command.

With tablets being the latest trend, Bonnie Anderson's parents gift eight-year-old a Lilypad so she can socialise with the other kids.

Concerned at Bonnie's neglect, Jessie contacts Woody for advice, who's helping Bo Peep rehouse abandoned toys.

When Jessie and Bullseye go missing, Woody and Buzz search for their friends.

Mid-credits

A child in a playground is stunned by a Buzz drone flying down to him.  Immediately after, the rest descend and every kid claims one, including a teacher.

The camera pans to a kid produces an upgraded version of Emperor Zurg from this backpack.  We wrap after Buzz's father says: "We meet again, my son!"

HorseGrrll

Like 4, this wasn't bad or anything, but fails to justify its existence.

But money.

While billed as a sequel to 4, it's effectively a continuation of 2, bringing Jessie's narrative to a close.

Although most established characters are just background noise, new additions Smarty Pants, GPS receiver Atlas and camera Snappy provided some fun moments.

Part way through, Woody removes his hat and bald patch reflects light, dazzling those around him.

Also, the original Buzz has put on timber.

Visual gags are supposed to be funny, but toys 'aging' was just stupid.

The Furious - The scoop and digest

After multiple collaborations with the legendary Donnie Yen, Kenji Tanigaki's third feature is written by Mak Tin-shu, Lei Zhilong, Shum Kwan-sin and Frank Hui.

Xie Miao - Wang Wei

Joe Taslim - Navin

Brian Le - Ho

Yang Enyou - Rainy

Yayan Ruhian - Tak

Jeeja Yanin - Matia

Joey Iwanaga - Paklung

Sahajak Boonthanakit - Mr. Song

Summary

In an unnamed Asian city, journalist Matia is invesigating a local trafficking gang.  Against the wishes of her husband Navin, she infiltrates a hideout and is captured by its leader Paklung and his enforcer Tak.

Some time later, mute handyman Wang Wei has an argument with his daughter Rainy after he refuses to return to their home country.

After Rainy storms off in a huff, she's bagged and kidnapped by the gang.

Wang gives chase, but rescue attempt is foiled when he's hit by a truck.

As the local police force are more corrupt than a straight banana, Wang teams up with Navin to destroy anybody who gets in their way.

Feint and attack

The problem every modern martial arts flick has is clearing the ridiculously high bar set by The Raid series.

This falls short, but stunt work and choreography is superb and action moves at a blistering pace, even if carnage is hampered by CG blood.

Also, wooden dialogue is compounded by weird dubbing.

But those are minor quibbles, because fucking Mad Dog is lethal with a bow and arrow.

Five-way climax takes place at the police station, with Wang and Paklung eventually duelling with bicycles.

Why not, right?

Cape Fear (2026) - Episode 4

Pierced

Written by Tara Shivkumar

Directed by Reed Morano

At a bar, Max tells Tom that Zack had a dream and drew a picture of his unborn son Adam, confirming Max didn't give Zack anything last week.

After getting ooh la la, Natalie lets Nevaeh pierce her left nipple.

Tom and Zack's fractured relationship intensifies, leading Tom to have a flashback of him discovering that his older brother committed suicide.

Also, Zack has apparently thrown away his toe.

Max leads a rally to free Ruben Ramirez from Tarwater.

Anna asks Max to speak with former convict and snake enthusiast Warren Pitt, as 'Smiley' is the only person who can prove Ramirez didn't kill Maya Cook at a party back in 2003.

Max agrees and surprises Anna by kissing her.  She warns shit won't happen again, but reaction suggests she enjoyed it.

At Pitt's house, Max attacks him off screen and gets the evidence required, as a man called Andre King was responsible for Maya's murder. 

Ray calls Anna and reveals Nevaeh's mum Faith was a prison nurse and got fired for having sex with Max, saying Nevaeh could be Max's daughter.

Assessment

While identity remains unknown, Max's stalker shows up a few times, telling Anna to stay well clear.

Is Nevaeh's mother alive or dead? Somebody we haven't seen yet?

Stop making us wait dammit.

(Laughs).