Artistic beauty in The Simpsons

As some raise their stunning head more than once, multiples will appear at my discretion.

Please don't think me arrogant, but you won't find better.

The Crepes of Wrath

Bridge Over a Pond of Water Lillies - Monet

Wheatfield with Crows - Van Gogh

The Dream - Henri Rousseau

Study for Luncheon on the Grass - Monet

Before and after each spooky short in Treehouse of Horror IV, Bart walks on by...

Self Portrait 1889 - Van Gogh (left) and Salvador Dalí's The Sleep

Ascending and Descending - M. C. Escher

The Scream - Edvard Munch

The Death of Marat - Jacques-Louis David

Lisa playing sax is from Picasso's Three Musicians and René Magritte's Son of Man (right) is missing bowler hat.

A Friend in Need - C. M. Coolidge

Variations of gambling woof woofs can be found in Bart Simpson's Dracula (left) and The Mansion Family (right).

Mom and Pop Art is packed to the rafters with sophistication.

A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte - Georges Seurat

Venice the Dogana (Customs Office) and San Giorgio Maggiore - J. M. W. Turner

Seated Harlequin (left) and The Barefoot Girl (right), both from Picasso.

Les Demoiselles d'Avignon (left) and The Old Guitarist (right), both from Picasso.

I wonder who could've been responsible for Head of a Man?
Oh yeah, Picasso.

More than likely modelled on a Piet Mondrian composition (left) and one of Andy Warhol's Campbell's Soup Cans.

Somebody spoke and Homer went into a dream...

The Sleeping Gypsy - Henri Rousseau

The Vitruvian Man - Leonardo da Vinci
Go on pal, get stuck in there.

Three Musicians - Picasso

The Persistence of Memory - Salvador Dalí

Saturdays of Thunder
The Vitruvian Man - Leonardo da Vinci

Cat burgling runs riot in Homer the Vigilante.

Not conclusive, but looks very much like a Henry Moore sculpture. 

Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa (circled) and arrow points to Van Gogh's Sunflowers 

The Persistence of Memory - Salvador Dalí

Her slightly famous smile also shows up during Helter Shelter's couch gag.

Inspired by true stories, a mission to recover lost paintings during the war is the subject of Raging Abe Simpson and his Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish".

2014 George Clooney flick The Monuments Men bears 'some' similarity.

Madonna and Child - Botticelli

Portrait of a Young Man - Raphael

It's hair today, gone tomorrow for Homer Scissorhands.

Convergence - Jackson Pollock

(From left to right), Rembrandt's The Syndics of the Drapers' Guild, Thomas Gainsborough's The Blue Boy and Frida Kahlo's Self Portrait With a Monkey

Men and women are equal because Girls Just Want to Have Sums.

Jack in Pulpit II - Georgia O'Keeffe

Self Portrait with a Monkey - Frida Kahlo

While Cletus and psychiatry dominates Yokel Chords, Comic Book geezer holds cultural key.

The Persistence of Memory - Salvador Dalí (left) and The Star - Edgar Degas (right)

Women and Birds at Sunrise - Joan Miro (left)

The Star causes mischief in The House of the Dead 4 and as with every other boss until Overkill, each are named after a Tarot card from the Major Arcana.

Leonardo da Vinci's The Last Supper hangs in:

Bart's Girlfriend

Homer Loves Flanders

Check out two awesome parodies of Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam.

Blood Feud

The Homer of Seville

The Homer They Fall includes Dempsey and Firpo by George Bellows.

Bart Gets an Elephant
American Gothic - Grant Wood

Bart Gets Hit By a Car
The Garden of Earthly Delights (Hell) - Hieronymus Bosch

Boy Meets Curl
Sky and Water II - M. C. Escher

Dude Where's My Ranch?
Flanders becomes Andy Warhol pop art

Half-Decent Proposal
Various styles on show here, but block of four is more from Andy Warhol and speech bubble (bottom left), is synonymous with Roy Lichtenstein.

Lisa the Simpson
1933 Painting - Joan Miro

Old Money
Nighthawks - Edward Hopper

The Mansion Family
Still Life with Basket of Apples - Paul Cezanne

Krusty Gets Kancelled
Grande Odalisque - Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres

Bart Gets an F
Washington Crossing the Delaware - Emanuel Gottlieb Leutze

The Last Temptation of Homer
The Birth of Venus - Botticelli

Homer the Whopper
Guernica - Picasso

Springfield Up
Christina's World - Andrew Wyeth

Van Gogh takes centre animation.

The Strong Arms of the Ma begins with Rainier Wolfcastle's yard sale and Self Portrait with Felt Hat is up for grabs.

The end of Four Great Women and a Manicure sees Marge scold Maggie for whipping up Starry Night.

They Saved Lisa's Brain
(Middle top) Starry Night
(Top left) Pair of Leather Boots
(Middle left) Still Life of Open Bible
(Middle bottom) Self Portrait with Felt Hat
Bottom left, bottom right and top right may well be based on, but...

The Man Who Grew Too Much

Napoleon Crossing the Alps - Jacques-Louis David

The Syndics of the Drapers' Guild - Rembrandt

The War of Art focuses around a painting Marge immediately adores at the Van Houtens' yard sale.

Who knows if based on actual masterpiece, but fictitious artist Johan Oldenveldt is responsible.

We learn art forger Klaus Ziegler (Max von Sydow) created oil on canvas and made a career of deceiving others by mastering immaculate imitation of past genius.

Water Lillies - Monet

The Kiss - Gustav Klimt

Henri Rousseau's The Sleeping Gypsy and Georges Seurat's A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte.

Undoubtedly Jackson Pollock, but not fan favourite Convergence.

Rembrandt's Self-Portrait 1660 

Waiting for Duffman
Washington Crossing the Delaware - Emanuel Gottlieb Leutze

A large slice of Mom and Pop Art is repeated in Stop the World, I Want to Goof Off, the final scary short of Treehouse of Horror XIV.

Take it away (again) Mr. Picasso.

Head of a Man

The Old Guitarist (left) and Les Desmoiselles d'Avigon (right).
Homer hides Seated Harlequin.

Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa

In Flaming Moe, (easily confused with much earlier episode Flaming Moe's), Smithers is horrified to learn that he's not part of Charles Montgomery Plantagenet Schickigruber Burns' Last Will and Testament.
Anyway, please admire A Bar at the Folies-Bergère by Édouard Manet.

American History X-cellent takes succulent bites of The Green Mile, The Shawshank Redemption and the 1990 Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum heist which to this day, remains unsolved.

The Storm on the Sea of Galilee - Rembrandt 

Self-Portrait, 1630 - Rembrandt (middle left), Portrait of Dr. Gachet - Van Gogh (left), Portrait of a Young Man - Raphael (centre bottom) and top right, A Lady and Gentleman in Black, again from the genius of Rembrandt's brush.

The Concert - Johannes Vermeer

Saturn Devouring His Son - Francisco Goya

Thank God It's Doomsday features a host of goodies.

A Friend in Need - C. M. Coolidge

The Great Wave off Kanagawa - Hokusai

The Last Supper - Leonardo da Vinci

The Syndics of the Drapers' Guild - Rembrandt

Another variation of a Piet Mondrian composition

To finish off.

Guzzling regulars become Apostles in episode's final shot.

Hardly duff, right?

Ted 2 - The scoop and digest

Unless you're a humourless prude, there isn't much not to like about the disgraceful antics of Thunder buddies John and furry companion.

MacFarlane returns as writer/director, with collaborators Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild predictably lending a helping hand.

Plot details and/or spoilers are high on marijuana.

Outrageous behaviour is commonplace for:

Mark Wahlberg - John
Seth MacFarlane - Ted
Amanda Seyfried - Samantha
Jessica Barth - Tami-Lynn
Morgan Freeman - Patrick Meighan
Giovanni Ribisi - Donny

Ted and Tami-Lynn tie the knot but John is still getting over his divorce from Lori.

A year later, the newlyweds fight like cat and dog but having a baby will apparently solve all their problems.

Without a dick, Ted must look elsewhere for a sperm donor.

Flash is practically dry, so Ted and John plan to stimulate Tom Brady while asleep but things don't work out.

John is reluctantly brought in as sloppy thirds, but Tami-Lynn's long history of drug abuse renders ovarium infertile.

Adoption brings unwanted publicity and now considered 'property', Ted's life goes down the toilet.

John suggests to fight this thing at court but without capital, their case is taken on by inexperienced pot fiend Samantha.

They immediately click faster than an empty gun chamber.

Donny kisses Hasbro ass and hatches a diabolical plan of convincing CEO to hire the best attorney Barbie can buy so Ted will lose and make Mattel a mint.

His actual agenda is to keep Ted all for himself.

After justice takes a giant dump on Ted 'Clubber Lang', the gang travel to New York and meet with big shot civil rights geezer Patrick Meighan.

While sympathetic, he refuses to help because Ted has made little contribution to human society.

A pissed off Ted checks out Comic Con where demented Donny disguised as Raphael takes his opportunity to capture.

John and Samantha respond to Ted's phone call and weirdo is prevented from sticking the knife in.

The trio escape cosplay mayhem but just as they're about to leave, Donny snips cables holding up the Starship Enterprise and protecting Ted, John slips into a coma.

Unable to resist Tiffany's I Think We're Alone Now, Donny is subsequently arrested.

Could John really be dead?

Nah, he's just fucking with us...

Impressed at John's sacrificial gesture, Meighan successfully overturns the court's original decision.

Ted and Tami-Lynn are remarried and they name adopted baby boy Apollo Creed.

We presume all concerned live happily ever after.

Sit through credits and see a battered Liam Neeson (spoofing Taken persona), returning children's cereal he bought earlier.

Funnier than the original?

Oh yeah.

Forget mundane and lifeless piece of shit A Million Ways to Die in the West, this delivers everything and more.

As smart and effective cutaway gags now feature, it sporadically feels like a feature length Family Guy episode.

In desperation, a cash strapped Ted charges 3 dollars for a blow job.

Brilliant!

Mila Kunis isn't missed and Amanda Seyfried kicks ass.

Reenacting scenes from silver screen classics puts the icing on a hilarious cake.

1. Library boogie woogie is in homage to The Breakfast Club.
2. Ted does the Mess Around from Planes, Trains and Automobiles.
3. Best of all is Jurassic Park, when weed field replaces the awe of Brachiosaur entrance.

The beginning of Family Guy episode Tales of a Third Grade Nothing had Peter visit Executive Bathroom Island, another reference to Spielberg's blockbuster.

One thing I'm not sure about is title sequence, as choreography could be reffing Quahog's equivalent or Temple of Doom?

MacFarlane's sequel is crude, non-PC and freakin' sweet.

Anybody who says otherwise has PENUS slapped on their forehead.

Terminator Genisys - The scoop and digest

Probably most famous for Marvel sequel Thor: The Dark World, Director Alan Taylor uses the concept of retcon (retroactive continuity) to flush past, present and future down ivory throne.

Plot details and/or spoilers will become self-aware

The future is not set for:

Arnold Schwarzenegger - Guardian
Emilia Clarke - Sarah Connor
Jai Courtney - Kyle Reese
Jason Clarke - John Connor/T-3000
Lee Byung-hun - T-1000

In 2029, John Connor launches a last ditch assault against the machines and Skynet.

Best efforts prove fruitless as a Model 101 is sent back to 1984 to kill Sarah.

During time travel, Reese has one vision while John is attacked.

Before CG T-800 is given chance to terminate trio of punks, a familiar voice from the background announces "I've been waiting for you."

'Anonymous' sent him to protect Sarah when she was nine.

They have a scuffle but baddie is sniped by Ms Connor.

Reese is pursued by a T-1000 but meets with Guardian and Sarah.

Sarah gives reprogrammed Arnie the adopted name of Pops (probably some kind of joke to youthful legend), and is what I'm going with.

Remember, he's old - not obsolete.

Anyway, shapeshifter tracks them down at a disused factory and reactivates T-800 using liquid metal.

CG is eventually decapitated by Reese and Pops forces T-1000 to take a shower under acid sprinklers.

Sarah and Pops have cobbled together a time machine and hauling ass to 1997 to prevent Skynet from awaking sounds like a kick ass idea.  Resse poops on the party as earlier memory persuades the headstrong to go with new strategy of destroying Genisys (a front for Skynet) in 2017.

A blinding flash of light later sees Reese and Sarah materialise in San Francisco but are soon arrested on bustling highway.

Danny Dyson is president of Cyberdyne and Genisys will link all tech you own.

As they're treated for injuries, Reese as a child helps with an ID parade.

John arrives to rescue the imprisoned but is he an impostor?

Bang! Bang! Bang!

That geezer who attacked John was Genisys wearing T-5000 trousers and transformed scarface into a T-3000 nanobot hybrid.

Arnie explains that after Skynet infected John, its latest weapon was sent back to 2007 so a new Judgment Day could be launched.

Er, okay.

Unless somebody's got a magnet the size of San Francisco - I suspect they're in deep shit.

The Golden Gate Bridge and airborne chase hosts the meat of action and Pops dive-bombing chopper only proves to be a minor inconvenience for T-3000.

C4 is planted at Cyberdyne HQ and ineffective firepower holds off villain before heads are inevitably butted with protector.

During which, numerous holographic representations of Genisys frequently reminds that boom time will prevent nothing.

Although overpowered, Pops manages to trap nanobot inside time machine's magnetic field but goodie is thrown into a vat of mimetic poly-alloy.

Hold back those tears as there's no thumbs up.

With explosion imminent, they take refuge underground and Pops boasts new mimetic abilities.

Reese visits his young self urging him to remember that 'Genisys is Skynet'.

Wait a few moments and mid-credits scene shows primary system core survived.

Did I or its adoring fanbase expect anything other than mediocre?

No we didn't.

While by no means a complete disaster, here's why this can largely suck my cybernetic organism.

Even though old vs young Arnie bombed, the first 30 minutes or so is entertaining but having said that, nostalgic love affair lacks serious gusto.

As reprogrammed Arnie had known for 11 years this day would come, why didn't he bring something better than pump action Remington?

Never mind love, all you need is sniper rifle...

Anybody thinking this was the first to prelude events leading up to original will be sorely disappointed to learn PS2/Xbox FPS Dawn of Fate got there first.

Just don't mention that horrible camera.

Set pieces are mere rehashes from T2 and stunts stampede down the digital route of uninspired boredom.

What happens on Golden Gate Bridge is different, but straight from Rupert Wyatt's Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

Others to feature action on the said structure are Godzilla (2014), X-Men: The Last Stand and Hulk, (not to be confused with mediocre 2008 reboot The Incredible Hulk).

Reese is effectively surplus to requirements but despite wishy washy script, it's great to see that even at the tender age of 67, Arnie hasn't lost his mojo.

T-3000 is so much like the T-X, he may as well have worn red leather and killer heels.

Its true metallic guise looks disturbingly like Cyborg from incredibly bad video game Rise of the Robots.

Am I fucking nuts without bolts for saying that?

Of course, end boss Supervisor completely ripped off T-1000.

Perhaps worst of all, much is left unanswered so inadvertently confuses.

T-1000 killed Sarah's parents in 1973 and Guardian was sent by an unknown party to protect.

During flashback, she was found hiding under a walkway so how did little girl initially evade liquid metal assassin?

PASS!

In this 1984, T-1000 uses poly-alloy to resurrect T-800 but Arnie taking a bath in the same shit 33 years later upgrades.

Did substance 'evolve'?

BULLSHIT!

This ignores Rise of the Machines, Salvation (and logic), but chronologically speaking; James Cameron apparently deems this officially the third film.

TV show The Sarah Connor Chronicles immediately followed T2, but in a separate timeline to T3.

Cameron must be going senile because now defunct 3D theme park attraction Battle Across Time reunited principal cast and already served as mini or quasi-sequel to T2.

Amusingly, T3 disregards that as though never made.

If you wanna go even further, S.M. Stirling's trilogy of novels are set a few years after T2.

Fascinating, right?

What did encourage a giggle is Sarah using 'first aid spray', with Arnie's endo arm also given a squirt.

Resident Evil?

Ha ha!

Mysterious malfunctions in miscellany - Slide 1

Although completely legible, apologies in advance because some photos from my own personal stash are a tad fuzzy.

When Rambomania was in full swing, video games ignored First Blood and jumped through the hoops of pompous piece of shit sequel Rambo: First Blood Part 2.

Despite this and apart from a select few, games were confusingly just called 'Rambo'.

Kicking things off, weird action/strategy on MSX looked suspiciously like Hydlide.

Even for 1985, shabbier than a neglected market stall.

Despite the curious use of pink, its title screen captures the meat of movie poster.

Strangely, the above resembles stage complete screen from 2008 Sega arcade.

Super Rambo Special came a year later and was essentially the same game.

Unless you choose 'I'm not afraid of death', side-scrolling NES turd doesn't begin.

Talk about wasting our time.

Obviously we know what they're getting at, but does the option of YES actually exist?

No.

Here's the best bit at mission's end.

Trautman: "What are you going to do?"
Rambo: "Day by day."

WHAT KIND OF FUCKING ANSWER IS THAT?

It should've been:

Trautman: "How will you live?"
Rambo: "Day by day."

The whole point of Son of Rambow is First Blood, so WHY does package design claim Rambo: First Blood?

Oh dear!

Even worse is what I snapped on TV some time ago.

BULLSHIT!

Rambo III on Mega Drive differed from the 1989 Taito arcade (which recycled enemy screams from Operation Wolf), by incorporating overhead action and consequently - reminiscent of Data East's Bloody Wolf.
Anyway, since when did jungles exist in Afghanistan?

In order to 'fully' appreciate the PC Engine (not Turbografx 16) version of R-Type, two separate purchases was required.

Trouble is, cover art contradicted title screen.

R-Type I and R-Type

R-Type II and R-Type Part-2

Here's the Amiga box art for Turrican II: The Final Fight.

Comprising of three little men (blue, red and yellow respectively), the logo of Rainbow Arts is certainly memorable.

You'd assume this would be the same in title screen, but...

The assholes at Factor 5 decided this wasn't 'The Final Fight' and yellow geezer becomes greyer than a storm cloud.

The C64 original had no such issues.

Renamed Time Soldier for home computer consumption, Alpha Denshi's (later ADK) arcade translated fairly well.

Please note Electrocoin.

Guess what?

In the C64 game, they became 'Electrcoin'.

Was Stephen King the star of Cujo?

No.  He was the fucking author.

So why is inference displayed on cover art?

'Stephen King's Cujo' would have been perfectly acceptable.

I need wings.

Hey Peter you bastard - leave some for me.

Liquid is green, but Red Bull is amber.

Energy drink is nice by itself, but best consumed with either Vodka or Jägermeister.

More strange goings-on, this time in the title sequence of 1982 slasher Pieces.

as Lt. Bracken

All good, but then Paul Smith as Willard (and those that follow), turn red.

It makes no sense.

Mannequins come to life in obscure 1979 horror Terror Trap.
The insane villain of the piece is Slausen, or is it?

Yep, 'Slauson' confirms another blunder.

Before credits climax, every film contains disclaimer bullshit.

Have a read of The Raid.

The 'person' etc etc?

Hmmm.

48 hours and I'm a 'gonner' in Spellbound.

Another fabulous fuck up from the 8 bit era.

Forwarding to the present, Drake's new album must be grammar phobic.

You're and It's too late to rectify the error.

Alien: The Archive has a hard on for photos, quotes, trivia and artwork to all four movies.

Guess who owns a copy and noticed an error?

Dillon (correct)

Spin on a few pages and...

...Dillon now becomes 'Dylan'.

What the FUCK?

Feudal Japan's warm sunset looks pretty cool.

What a shame Haohmuru slices and dices in broad daylight.

Unlike Fatal Fury, Samurai Shodown doesn't have day to night transitions between rounds.

Ironically, his stage in far superior sequel would largely make Shinkiro's box art accurate.

Without sounding patronising, 'it's' and 'its' requires clear explanation.

it's - contraction of it and is but depending on sentence, can also be short for it and has (non possessive).

its (possessive).

For example:

The bird flapped its wings.

Now that's sorted out, observe some unlikely cock ups.

Evil has just met 'it's' match when messing with Double Dragon.

A mother's love has 'it's' limits in The Afflicted.

Once 'its' unleashed, Evilution can never be stopped.

Frankensteins Army is surprisingly decent

Hang on a mo, title is missing something.

Apostrophe is inserted in actual film, but for reasons unknown...

...the damn thing is facing the wrong way.

The final nail in the punctuation mark coffin is on the back of occasionally funny Lindsay Lohan romcom Labor Pains.

Its unbelievable.

Oh shit, they've got me doing it now.