Epic conclusion pulls out all the stops.
Legend.
EU - Europe
NA - North America
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| After Burner II (EU/NA) - Mega Drive/Genesis F-15 Eagle is depicted, but we fly an F-14 Tomcat. |
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| Parodius (EU/NA) - NES Miss Mishitarina replaces Chichibinta Rika, yet Las Vegas showgirl is here. Also, Honey Mikayo (blonde in yellow dress) doesn't appear. |
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| Largo Winch: Empire Under Threat - PS2, PC, Gamecube and Xbox Protagonist looks very dapper in a cloud grey jacket and matching trousers. |
But according to back.
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| Billionaire wears blue jeans. |
Not even close.
Back to the Future Part II - home computers
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| Caption describes chaos in 1985, but this stage takes place in 2015. |
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| We haven't gone back to 1955 to stop Biff's plan, because we're still in 2015. |
Whoa this is heavy.
Akira - Amiga/CD32
Embarrassing pile of shit was an insult to the licence.
Anyway, to business.
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| 2019 Neo Tokyo is about to E.X.P.L.O.D.E |
Oops, it should be Neo-Tokyo and E.X.P.L.O.D.E.
However.
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| Wrongs are fixed. |
But that's all they got right.
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| 30 years after World War 3. |
Really?
Source material begs to differ.
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| 31 years after World War III |
No fucking excuse.
Two screens with nonsense captions.
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| During a battle between the gangs Tetsuo, Kenedas childhood friend, loses control of his bike and just misses hitting one of the escaping mutant children. |
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| Tetsuo mutates into a hideous blubblery mass. |
No such word, but blubbery is.
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| Kenada - leader of the Capsule Gang & Tetsuo - childhood friend of Keneda © 1987 Akira Committee |
Anime was released in 1988, not 1987.
Okay, I've held back, so is it Kenada or Keneda?
Neither, because it's Kaneda.
HA HA HA!
Ninja Remix
C64
Game is an improved version of Last Ninja 2: Back with a Vengeance.
Let's check that.
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| This product is to be regarded as an updated version of Last Ninja II. |
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| You arrive in this frightening and awesome modern world bringing nothing with you save your intelligence, skill and cunning and burning desire for vengence. |
Dictionary shall have vengeance, in this life or the next.
For shits and confusing giggles, NES port of LN 2 (exclusive to NA) was simply called The Last Ninja.
(Bares teeth).
Amiga/Atari ST
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| Cover is the same. |
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| Story explains that although beaten, the evil Shogun Kunitoki was not destroyed, and used all his mystic powers to transport himself through time to establish a new empire of tyranny in modern day Manhattan. |
Game is a port of original.
Just... P-I-S-S OFF!
LN 2 was ported to 16 bits under the correct title, making shit even more fucking bizarre.
System 3 present the Premier Collection on Amiga.
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| Compilation features The Last Ninja. |
Considering game doesn't exist under this moniker - astonishing stuff.
Reverse. Reverse.
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| Screen of Last Ninja is Ninja Remix. |
Miscellany
Strap yourself in for the home straight.
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| The House of the Dead (EU) - Saturn Not for the faint-hearted only those with nerves of steel and lighting reflexes will survive. Those who possess lightning reflexes are fucked then. |
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| The House of the Dead III - Sold Out Software PC release Keep both barrels loaded and bring a friend along, House of the Dead III's storyline has you wading through a flood of blood and gore. Another conversion failing to include The. |
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| The Typing of the Dead (NA) - Dreamcast Your rapid-fire typing skills spell doom for the undead in this utterly odd, challenging take-off on House of the Dead 2. Take-off makes no sense (take would've been fine) and once again, The is missing. |
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| Silent Hill 3 (NA) - PS2 Heather Morris is the voice actress, not character. |
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| Apidya - Amiga Sorcerer is misspelled as sorceror. |
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| Die Hard Arcade (EU) - Saturn Presidents should be President's. |
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| Die Hard Trilogy (EU) - PS1 Three incredible adventures - Once intense game. That is one brilliant mistake |
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| Snow White and the 7 Clever Boys (EU) - PS2 Snow White lives deep in a perfect forest live with seven clever boys who work everyday to protect the forest greenery and environment. The only thing more amazing then Engrish description is this was actually licensed by Sony. |
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| Operation Wolf - home computers The No. 1 arcade of 1988 is recreated perfectly - 6 levels of thrilling coin-op action are brought to life on your home micro. Arcade was released in 1987. |
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| NAM-1975 (EU/NA) - Neo Geo The roar of the helicopters overhead snaps us back into reality. Will never forget the nightmare of that Summer. Pretty sure they meant we'll. |
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| Space Rebellion (EU) - PS2 Did they definately fuck up? Definitely. |
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| Journey - Amiga The use of 'a' is fine, until the end. This is what makes Journey a uniquely compelling entertainment. Which of course makes no sense. |
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| Total Recall - home computers As Doug Quaid you Travel (capitalisation) to Mars. Strange mutants, futuristic vehicles and a startling array of weaponry all captured in superbly executed graphics and a game play that compliments the success of the year's top movie. A game play? A wh at? More importantly, compliments is contextually wrong, as it should be complements. |
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| Equinox (EU) - SNES Y (HUGE GAP) our. At first I thought my eyes were deceiving me, but... |
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| The Terminator (EU/NA) - SNES Kyle Reese's mission is to go back in time to protect Sarah Conner, mother of John Conner. The rest of us remember Connor. |
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| Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (EU) - GBA In the original timeline, Arnie was always a Model T-101, not T-100. |
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| Ocean Commander (EU) - PS2 Its your mission to protect territorial water as a special arms commander, by using dreadnought, arms and military equipements. Its should be It's and I only carry equipment. |
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| Last Ninja 2: BWAV (Limited Edition) - C64 To help us complete our quest we''re given a Shiraken Star. No such weapon, but in case of emergencies, I always carry a shuriken or two. |
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| Last Ninja 3 - C64 The Shogun Kunitoki, the all-powerful master of the palace hasbrought you, the last of the Ninjas, to the very heart of his corruption and evil. Is it difficult to leave a space? Apparently so. |
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| Castlevania: Vampire's Kiss (EU) - SNES Is Richter skillfull enough to banish Dracula to beyond Eternity? Maybe, but I'm too skilful for my own good. |
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| Jaws - home computers Ignoring re-imagined story, assholes are under the delusion that protagonist is Brody, not Brodie. Spinning on to the end. Mans' deepest fear is back. Nope, it should be Man's. |
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| Nigel Mansell's World Championship Racing (EU) - SNES Yes, the mistake is in the title, as they 'forgot' Racing. More so, hold onto your enegines. |
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| Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock (EU) - PS3, 360 and Wii Iron Maiden's Number of the Beast is missing The and somebody clearly smoking crack refers to The Stone Roses song as She Bangs a Drum, whereas the rest of us know She Bangs the Drums. |
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| Waterworld: The Quest for Dry Land - PC Attack and escape from enemy atolls on jet-skis, assult craft and rocket barges. It's an assault to the senses. |
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| Eliminator - Amiga A war machine whose solitary quest is to eradicate all forms of life - travelling from planet to planet obliterating all in it's path. Yes, its wrong. |
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| Goat Simulator - PC This was possibly done on purpose, but goats go 'Maaaa', not 'Baaaa'. |
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| California Games (EU) - NES Win individual events or wrap up the hole competition. It's guaranteed to get your adrenalin pumping! I get a different rush, the adrenaline kind. |
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| International Ninja Rabbits - Amiga The sequel to Ninja Rabbits features even more agressive animals. Now if critters were aggressive, then I'd really be shitting myself. |
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| The Karate Kid Part II - Amiga/Atari ST Actual film quote in bold. Live or die, man? Your choice! Live or die, man? No referees? Then how do you know who wins? Whoever dead, doesn't! No referee. Then how do you know who wins? The one who's dead, doesn't. I don't get it? Practice, Daniel-san, practice. You will! I don't get it. Practice, you will. Daniel-san! This is not tournament! This time, the fight is for real! Daniel-san, this not tournament. This for real. |
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| Maniac Mansion (EU) - NES Your task is to help Dave choose a rescue team and guide them on the wildest, wierdest mission your NES system has ever seen. One of the weirdest blurbs I've ever read. |
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| Populous (EU) - SNES When can the man excell the God? Who can say? But I excel at such matters. |
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| R-Type (EU) - Master System It's your against the creatures of the evil Bydo Empire! Or more appropriately, it's you against... |
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| Robocop 3 (EU) - Mega Drive Old Detroit. The streets are full of danger. Only one man can stand alone against such numbers. Robocop! To quote Dick Jones, he's a cyborg you idiot. |
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| The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (EU/NA) - SNES This exciting Super NES sequel to the Legend Of Zelda and The Adventure Of Link uses 16-bit power to create a quest so colorful and detailed you don't just play it, you live it! Ignoring Of, one of the greatest games of all time is a distant prequel. |
Signing off.
