Snow White - The scoop and digest

From a screenplay by Erin Cressida Wilson, live-action reimagining of Disney's timeless classic is directed by Marc Webb.

Rachel Zegler - Snow White

Gal Gadot - Evil Queen

Andrew Burnap - Jonathan

Summary

During a snowstorm, a King and Queen welcome their daughter and name her Snow White.

Err, okay.

While Snow White is still young, the Queen falls ill and dies.

One day, a mysterious woman of great beauty enters the palace and before departing to mount a campaign against an outside threat, the King marries her.

But the new Queen is actually an evil enchantress, caring only about herself.

After the King fails to return, she rules the kingdom with a tyrannical fist and makes Snow White her scullery maid.

Years later, the Magic Mirror proclaims that Snow White is now the 'fairest of all'.

Enraged, the Queen orders her Huntsman to kill Snow White and bring back her heart inside a jeweled box.

He can't bring himself to do it and tells her to flee into the woods, where she stumbles across a cottage and befriends seven abominations, sorry dwarfs.

Along with dashing bandit Jonathan (a version of the Prince), Snow White rallies all to help dethrone the Queen and take back the kingdom.

The Sleeping Death

Extremely low expectations were met, and then some.

Zegler at least gives shit a shot, but Wonder Woman proves once again that she can't act for fucking toffee.

While not a musical, we're bombarded by a plethora of songs, with none remotely likable or memorable.

CG animals look goofy, digital backdrops suck and dwarfs are grotesque.

In fact, the only thing more offensive is notorious video game Snow White and the 7 Clever Boys.

The inclusion of bandits was pointless, as most say and do absolutely nothing.

Climax has dwarfs playing no part.

First off, Jonathan revives Snow White before protagonist confronts the Queen, with 'antidote' dubbed True Love's Kiss, rather than Love's First Kiss.

Snow White refuses to murder the Queen and reminds everybody what life was like under her parents' rule.

The Queen tries to stab Snow White but is foiled by a crossbow thief.  Villain then destroys the Magic Mirror (the source of her power), but as a result is turned into glass and sucked inside a vortex behind the mirror.

(Sigh).

If I was a Gremlin, I'd rather sunbathe then watch this ungodly piece of shit again.

Popeye the Slayer Man - The scoop and digest

After the ultra low-budget Popeye's Revenge (which I couldn't be bothered to cover), the second horror taking advantage of character entering public domain is directed by Robert Michael Ryan.

Sean Michael Conway - Dexter

Elena Juliano - Olivia

Mabel Thomas - Katie

Marie-Louise Boisnier - Lisa

Jeff Thomas - Seth

Jason Stephens - The Sailor Man

Summary

In Anchor Bay, drug dealers are in chasing a woman called Adrienne, who breaks into a derelict spinach canning factory.

Both men are killed by a hulking man in a sailor suit, but it's left ambiguous if Adrienne survived.

In the not too distant future, Dexter and fellow student Olivia are making a documentary on the Sailor Man urban legend, who is said to haunt the factory waiting for his love to return.

Knowing the factory is going to be sold and demolished by a property developer, Dexter, Olivia and friends visit the same night.

But all and sundry soon discover he is what he is.

Anchor's aweigh

Not the embarrassing car crash I expected.

Acting is a mixed bag, kills get repetitive, but practical effects can be impressive.

20 years ago, the factory was closed down, apparently because of dangerous working conditions.  But Dexter and Olivia learn a spinach contamination caused a neurological infection, giving Popeye superhuman strength, but rotting his brain as a side effect.

A newspaper randomly dated May 3 2004 reveals employee Olive Oyl blew the whistle on factory and has been missing ever since.

Opening rips off Friday the 13th (2009), but strangely doesn't go through with it entirely, because Adrienne is never seen again.

For shiggles, the cautionary tale to keep kids away from the old docks: 

When you smell the smoke from his pipe he's near

He will kill you if you show fear

He gets his strength from a spinach can

He is Popeye the Sailor Man

Shit is left open for a sequel, as Dexter and Olivia vow to help Popeye find Olive.

Resident Evil

Dexter comments on Olivia's lock-picking skills, which is surely a nod to Jill Valentine.

Alistair Holdings (who covered up contamination) is basically Umbrella and spinach is arguably a version of the T-virus.

Resident Evil 2 (2019)

When he's not eating toxic treats, smoking a pipe and repeatedly grunting, Popeye stomps about just like Mr. X.

Before it's revealed that Popeye is her father, Olivia tells him to put Dexter down, and obeys.  Popeye then waits outside and doesn't enter, inferring room is a 'safe' area.

Coincidence?

Mickey 17 - The scoop and digest

Writer-director Bong Joon-Ho adapts Edward Ashton's 2022 novel Mickey7.

Robert Pattinson - Mickey 17 and 18

Naomi Ackie - Nasha Barrage

Mark Ruffalo - Kenneth Marshall

Toni Collette - Ylfa Marshall

Steven Yeun - Timo

Summary

AD 2054

Planet Niflheim

The seventeenth iteration of Mickey Barnes is apparently eaten by a catepillar-like creature, later christened a Creeper.

When 'reprinted' using Earth-banned technology, the next Mickey and/or 'Expendable' retains his personality.

Flashing back to Earth 4 1/3 years ago, the original Mickey is on a space expedition to Niflheim, and begins a romantic relationship with security agent Nasha Barrage.

What happened to 17 at the beginning is played out, as he was sent by Marshall to collect a Creeper sample and fell into a sinkhole.

Mother Creeper didn't devour him and actually dragged his ass to safety.

With 17 presumed dead, 18 has already been printed and initially tries to kill clone, but resists.

Former congressman Kenneth Marshall launches a campaign to exterminate any Multiples and declares war on the non-hostile Creepers, with Mickeys caught in the middle.

One & only

I haven't read the book and probably never will, but apart from title (an excuse to kill Mickey 10 more times), numerous changes were made.

For example, there's no baby Creeper (Zoco) and film humanises aliens.

Anyway, although pleasing to the eye and Pattinson making the most of dual role, I found sci-fi satire ponderous and bloated.

Unlike source material, Ruffalo is transformed into an egotisitical buffoon.

While definitely Trump-esque, incompetent fascist may be a parody of Ronny Cox's Cohaagen in Total Recall (1990).

According to director, character wasn't based on any specific person.

Sequel novel Antimatter Blues was written in response to film entering production and picks up two years after the events of Mickey7.

But I can't see that getting the big screen treatment.

Batman: Resurrection

Unlike ongoing comic series Batman '89 (serving as an alternative continuation to Batman and Batman Returns), John Jackson Miller's sequel novel takes place six months after Tim Burton's original film.

Summary

The Joker is dead, but his legacy lives on.

Lawrence, the former boombox-carrying henchman of the Joker has formed his own gang the Last Laughs (secretly funded by Max Shreck), who commit random arson attacks across Gotham.

Adding to the chaos is mysterious scientist Dr. Hugh Auslander and shapeshifting criminal, dubbed 'Clayface' by the press.

When Batman and James Gordon discover the Joker's body missing, they start to believe he may have survived.

Riveting read

Ignoring Prologue So Much To Do... And So Little Time, story spans five acts, over 52 chapters.

Not everything works and some sections are excessively wordy, but still does a great job of capturing the Burtonverse's gothic atmosphere, with dialogue and behaviour representative of their live-action counterparts.

Thumbs up to Karlo Babić (Clayface) becoming the victim and Hugo Strange (initially Auslander) being the primary antagonist, (cleverly revealed to be the Axis Chemicals scientist overseeing the manufacturing of Smylex).

Batman having PTSD flashbacks of the night at the cathedral and Strange's life's work Project Hegemon (resulting in Monster Men) are also highlights.

Hulking mutants of low intelligence are recycled from numerous story arcs. 

There's a string of cameos to enjoy, including Selina Kyle, Chip Shreck and The Red Triangle Circus Gang Strongman.

Ending sets up Batman: Revolution (set to be released in October 2025), and it's no secret that Norman Pinkus (The Riddler) will be the primary villain.

Plot holes

(From the film) are addressed.

Cathedral 

Lawrence and co already on the rooftop was impossible, as they didn't have enough time and had no idea Joker was heading there.

For shiggles, comic adaptation shows henchmen enter with Joker and Miss Vale.

Lawrence's confession reveals (as Joker told Batman in his vision), that goons were stationed at the top of the belfry as lookouts, anticipating the police breaking up the Joker's attack on Gotham.

But how Lawrence 'conveniently' survived is just stupid.

After comically jumping from a high platform trying to attack Batman, it's revealed another level beneath the floorboards saved his life.

So after spending six months in traction, the first thing he did was assemble a gang?

BULLSHIT!

Sensibly though, Gordon claiming the police had rounded up all the Joker's men is contradicted.

Parents

Batman confronts Joker about killing his parents, to which he replies "I was a kid when I killed your parents".

That line never made any sense, because Jack Napier had no idea who he'd killed, or who Bruce Wayne was.

Near the end, (before Vicki leaves Gotham for good), he tells her that during a vision, his comments was 'empty bluster'.

"He didn't know I was Batman when he said it. It was just blather on his part. He babbled constantly. The fact that it was accurate was a coincidence. A stopped clock is right twice a day. Or a broken one. My mistake was taking any of it seriously."

Wannabe poet didn't 'babble' and even quotes Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven.

"Take thy beak from out of my heart."

Miscellany

Joker's body was taken to an unmarked grave at Castle Hill Cemetery, but because he wasn't an inmate, the GCPD couldn't legally bury him at Blackgate Penitentitary.

Dr. Arthur Davis (the surgeon who treated Joker's face) was the body found and Strange made him look like the Joker to gaslight Batman.

Ahead of the parade, Joker killed Davis to avenge his botched surgery.

Lawrence took Joker's corpse and stored in the basement of the Last Laughs' local tavern, before the GCPD put it under lock and key.

Batman (1989)

Partly inspired by seminal comics The Killing Joke and The Dark Knight Returns, the first instalment in the Warner Bros.' film series ditched the campiness of the classic 60's TV series and set the benchmark for the modern day superhero genre.

Without Tim Burton's film, Batman: The Animated Series wouldn't exist.

It's as simple as that.

Kicking things off, an alternative beginning.

Gotham City, a well known crime capital, has been ruled by violence and death for many years.
A fact that billionaire and vigilante Bruce Wayne plans to change.
At the centre of the problem is Carl Grissom, who controls all the major criminal activity in the city.
When his gang learned of Wayne's plans, they took immediate action. 

Sometime in 1989...

(Phone rings).

Hello, Bruce Wayne, here.
Hee hee hee, Mr. Wayne. So pleased to make your acquaintance.
I believe you know who I am. Don't hang up! 
Your lover for your cooperation.
What?! What's happened to Vicki? Who is this?!
Not so fast, Bruce. Turn on your TV.

You son of a...
What have you done to her?

Nothing yet... but I'd enjoy the opportunity of rubbing her rhubarb...
Just let us do as we please or prepare to dance with the devil by the pale moonlight.
(MANIACAL LAUGH).

Lieutenant! Vicki was kidnapped!
Vicki?!

That tall drink of blonde water from the Gotham Globe. Do you know what they say? They say she can't be killed, they say she drinks blood. They say...

I say, you're full of shit, Knox. Oh, uh, you can quote me on that.

Video games

Selection follows.

C64

Loading screen superbly recreates the cover to official comic adaptation (with the cute addition of film strip).

Amiga

Batman and Joker look good.

Ruined by.

As he's making his escape in the helicopter, clothes have miraculously changed colour.

If they got his clobber right in the title screen, then why not do the same with sprite?

(Rolls eyes).

Arcade (1990)

Batman's gangly kick is extremely similar to a shot of Keaton defeating alleyway ninja.

Is this obsessive attention to detail on Atari's part?

Hmmm, I remain skeptical.

Throughout game, we get a series of digitised publicity stills (and voice samples).

High score screen makes absolutely no sense.

A few more endings.

PC Engine

The most obscure version got the final shot of film correct, but rather than light, 'signal' is erroneously fixed against the moon.

Maybe programmers confused shit with this.

(Shrugs shoulders).

Mega Drive

Spot on.

NES

Plot bears little resemblance to film, but what a great game.

Once again, very impressive.

For shiggles.

Comic adaptation has Batman and Vicki fall concurrently with Joker. 

Legacy

Joker (2019)

During the Joker's Smylex commercial, he says "So remember... put on a happy face."

30 years later.

The meat of phrase becomes Arthur's motto and is written on the mirror of his dressing room, just before Murray Franklin gets what he fucking deserves. 

At the Flugelheim Museum, Thomas Gainsborough's The Blue Boy is one of several famous paintings ultimately defaced.

Guess what's hanging in his apartment?

Yeah.

The Dark Knight (2008)

Keeping shit simple, Heath Ledger was heavily based on the works of Francis Bacon.

Joker stops Bob from destroying Figure With Meat, as he 'kinda likes this one'.

Lovely stuff.

Joker murders one of Gambol's men by making his pencil 'disappear', famously dubbed a 'magic trick'. 

'Uncle Bingo' kills Vinnie Ricorso by throwing a pen (in reality, a quill) into his throat.

More, more, more.

The Joker encourages Batman to run him down with the Batpod, which is the same principle as Jack Nicholson urging Batman to shoot him in the Batwing.

When Batman throws the Joker off the high-rise building, he finds the prospect of death hilarious, until he's rescued by the grappling gun.

I'm sure this is pure coincidence, but instead of screaming, Craig Shaw Gardner's novelisation has Joker laugh insanely when he falls from the helicopter.

Aliens (1986)

Acton Lane Power Station was decommissioned in 1983.

James Cameron needed an alien nest, and after coming across the disused building in West London, the production team stripped it down, painted it silver, and voila.

Still intact, set was recycled for Axis Chemicals.

When the marines are first approaching Hadley's Hope, Apone says: "Ten seconds, people. Look sharp."

Exactly ten seconds later, they exit the APC.

What's this?

Before the Joker enters the cathedral with Vicki, he requests 'transportation for two' in ten minutes, which between them entering and the helicopter arriving, action unfolds in real-time.

Nice reversal.

While nothing to do with either film, Dark Horse did their thing.

Batman/Aliens (March-April 1997)

Batman/Aliens II (December 2002-February 2003)

Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe (2008)

Whether intentional or not, the final entry developed and released by Midway contains a few interesting nods to Joker.

Extendable boxing glove gun

Bang

Mortal Kombat (2011)
Shang Tsung's fatality was the same, just more violent.

Next time, I'll be looking at what happened before Batman Returns.

Joker/Batman

Rather than spamming endless media, I spin my own web of innovation.

Joker

Created by Bill Finger, Bob Kane and Jerry Robinson, the greatest supervillain of all time debuted in the first issue of Batman, way back in April 1940.

Distinctive grin was inspired by Conrad Veidt as Gwynplaine in The Man Who Laughs (1928).

The Dark Knight (July 2008)

Why so serious?

Appearance

Apart from Sid Vicious and Malcolm McDowell's Alex DeLarge in A Clockwork Orange, Christopher Nolan has said Heath Ledger was heavily based on the paintings of Francis Bacon.

Also, due to monologues promoting chaos and mayhem, he's very much like the ghost of Rudolf Klein-Rogge from The Testament of Dr. Mabuse (1933).

While all that shit is true, check out another iteration wearing a Glasgow smile.

Joker (October 2008)

Lee Mermejo's art throughout Brian Azzarello's comic is absolutely stunning.

Daredevil - Season 2 (2016) vs Poster

Burning skull and bat?

Homage?

And because I can.

Batman: Arkham Knight (2015)

(Ahem).

Promo poster shows Joker holding a Batman playing card.

Time to introduce a little anarchy and upset the established order.

Narcos - Season 2 (2017)

Gray Matter - 2010 German version

Strangest of all.

Funnyman (1994)

WHAT?

Batman

The Caped Crusader was created by Bill Finger and Bob Kane and debuted in Detective Comics #27 (May 1939).

Their inspirations include The Shadow, The Phantom and Dick Tracy.

While Batman (1986) was his first computer game, he infamously appeared in a Mega Drive classic.

The Super Shinobi (1989)

When discount Spider-Man takes enough hits, he becomes...

HA HA HA!

Joe Musashi also fights Rambo, Jackie Chan, The Terminator and Godzilla, described as a 'flame-spewing Brontosaurus'.

When released as The Revenge of Shinobi in Europe and North America, sprites (in whatever version) were modified to avoid copyright infringement.

Miscellany

Aliens vs Predator: Requiem - PSP (2007) vs Batman/Aliens #1 (March 1997)

The same principle extends to:

Batman: The Joker War Zone (2020)

Batman: Arkham Asylum (2009)

Poison Ivy is consumed by her plant.

Boss encounter is a blatant rape of Salazar in Resident Evil 4.

Batman: Arkham City (2011)

Cover art vs Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

Things get more interesting.

At the beginning of Catwoman's missions, a fictitious painting depicting Cain and Abel is there for all to see.

Foreshadowing...

Batman carrying Joker's corpse.

Both are surely a nod to:

Batman: Hush #7 (April 2003)
Batman carrying Jason Todd.

Batman: Death in the Family¹ - Francesco Mattina vs Mad - Zeen Chin

Background looks rather similar, yes?

¹Interactive film explores alternate outcomes of 1988 story arc A Death in the Family.

Finally.

The Batman Who Laughs (May 2017) vs Judge Death (January 1980) - Judge Dredd

Drokk me!