The Thing: Process of Assimilation

As I may not who I appear to be, allow me to take over.

Warning. Mature content.

Viewer discretion is advised.

John W. Campbell Jr's 1938 novella Who Goes There?* was first adapted in 1951 as The Thing from Another World.

*Inspired by Lovecraft's At the Mountains of Madness, first published in Astounding Stories in 1936.

Next up was Horror Express in 1972.

Written word was then adapted in issue 1 of comic Starstream.

After John Carpenter's seminal remake, we got:

The Thing (2002 video game sequel to remake)
The Thing (2011 prequel to remake)

Holy shit!

Would it have broken hearts to call respective works something different?

Obviously.

Lazy bastards.

How about The Thing Aftermath and The Thing Awakens?

If only they asked me...

It's worth mentioning The Thing II was a cancelled video game sequel to The Thing (2002), so in reality, if project came to fruition, shit would have been The Thing III.

Let's delve very deep.

Video game

As with Jaws Unleashed, cover art was the same as DVD.

Dog Beast is loosely based on the Kennel-Thing.

As you'd expect, Walkers are pretty nippy.

Upon seeing nearby carnage, Williams pukes up.
Dirty boy.

Whitley becomes end boss.

Several nods are made to 1982 film.

Mac's tape recorder is found.

Bravo team refers to Norwegians as Swedes and Blake corrects them.
In an ironic role reversal, Mac frequently made this error, and was put straight by Copper.

Faraday vs John Carpenter

Blake: "Now I'm gonna show you what I already know."
Just before dipping hot needle into blood, Mac says:
"Now I'll show you what I already know."

When endorsing game, main man stated events are canonical.

Childs' body is found, who obviously died of hypothermia.

So after 20 years of intense speculation, geezer was human after all.

MacReady helps destroy Whitley and rescues Blake.

On 23 November 2012, Carpenter tweeted "Yes, one of them (Mac or Childs) was a thing."

WHAT?

Make up your fucking mind.

Prequel

Not terrible by any means, but still a pale imitation.

Juliette-Thing attacks Karl.

Wolner and Finch fused together.

Sander-Thing's toothy vagina bites the dust after swallowing grenade.

Video games Flame Thrower and Station Survival promoted CG-heavy film.

The Thing: The Northman Nightmare
Set hundreds of years before film, norsemen make an unpleasant discovery.

Oh yeah.

Edvard's centipede arm face fucks Jonas.

Which looks nothing like Whitley's CG reveal.

(Mouth drops).

Now for the big one.

Remake

Man is the warmest place to hide

Alan Dean Foster's novel sticks closely to film, but features a number of changes.

For example:

Windows is renamed Sanders.

The remains of Split-Face found at the Norwegian camp is burned before it can infect anybody.

Rather than burning himself, Fuchs is killed by the Thing with an axe.

Palmer-Thing kills Copper instead of Sanders.

When attacked outside by the Blair-Thing, Childs is blown away by the storm, but Mac and Nauls make it back inside.

Climax is radically different.

Sanders is killed by the Blair-Thing in the kitchen while he attempts to barricade facility's doors.  It then attacks the rec room, killing Garry, and corners Nauls in the rest room, where he commits suicide by driving a wooden splinter through neck.  Mac ultimately destroys monster by blowing up several canisters of hydrogen.

When Childs and Mac reunite outside, they play a game of chess.

Bits and bobs

In Halloween, Tommy and Laurie are watching Howard Hawks' original.

What happened next is history.

Although unrelated in terms of plot, characters etc, The Thing is the first part of 'Apocalypse Trilogy', and was followed by Prince of Darkness (1987) and In the Mouth of Madness (1995).

All were heavily influenced by the works of H.P. Lovecraft.

In 2017, a board game was released.

The Thing: Infection at Outpost 31

Comics

The Thing from Another World

Dark Horse picks up 24 hours after film.

Story continues in Climate of Fear.

For shits and giggles.

Both were collected in trade paperback form.

Eternal Vows wrapped shit up.

Issues 13-16 contained alternate sequel Questionable Research, which ignored all that went before and the first not to feature Mac or Childs.

Poster

Television

Welcome to My Nightmare (Amazing Stories)

Made for Each Other (Miami Vice)

Stranger Things was just greedy.

The Vanishing of Will Byers

The Monster

The Upside Down

Film

Brigsby Bear

Bumblebee

Scream 4

The Dead Don't Die

The Squid and the Whale

White Noise: The Light

The Mist
We can also see reproductions of The Shawshank Redemption and Pan's Labyrinth.  Also, Gunslinger from The Dark Tower is on display.

Miscellany

Apart from ripping off key elements of Ringo Lam's City on Fire, whole 'trust' scenario in Reservoir Dogs owes a huge debt to Carpenter's film.

Also, (apart from starring Kurt Russell of course), parts of Ennio Morricone's unused music is heard in post-Civil War drama The Hateful Eight.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

At Outpost 32 (yes not 31) in Antarctica, Ghidorah is awoken from frozen slumber.

Upon clamping eyes on gargantuan hydra, a solider exclaims "You gotta be fucking kidding!"

Man of Steel

Kryptonian ship is said to have been buried in the ice for x amount of years.

Harbinger Down (UK title Inanimate)

Peeps find a Soviet moon lander buried under the ice.  They discover its cargo have been mutated by cosmic radiation, giving tardigrades the ability to shapeshift.

Guess what year moon lander crashed?

Yeah, 1982.

(Laughs).

In terms of modern day throwbacks to 80's body horror, there is no better example than The Void.

Here look.

Deliciously grotesque.

Mixing things up, Carpenter's work inspired The X-Files episode Ice, which was later ripped off by 2009 film The Thaw.

Professor Farnsworth casually swallows a human whole in Futurama episode Murder on the Planet Express.

Title sequence

Animation cell was placed behind a fish tank filled with smoke, which was covered with a rubbish bag.  It was then ignited, creating the effect of 'title' burning onto the screen.

Ingenius.

This is true for both 1951 original and remake.

Others were influenced.

Wes Craven's Chiller

Death Note (2017)

The Final Girls

Kennel-Thing

Dart (Stranger Things)

Phantoms

Norris-Thing

It Chapter Two

Richie (Bill Hader) is given the honor of quoting Palmer's iconic line.

Split-Face

Resident Evil 7: Biohazard

Lucas in DLC Not a Hero.

Slither (2006) is immediately comparable to Night of the Creeps and Shivers, but it's pretty difficult not to hold a torch for James Gunn's debut.

Asteroid hurtling towards Earth is reminiscent of how spaceship entered atmosphere.

With Antarctica behind him, R.J. MacReady moved to South Carolina and opened Wheelsy's only Auctioneers & Funeral Home.

Surname is obvious, but first name of Mayor Jack MacReady is named after Kurt Russell's character Jack Burton in Big Trouble in Little China.

Director would go on to cast Russell as the baddie in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

Overwatch

In the Ecopoint map, we should find:

MacReady

Chess Mage

Cheating bitch.

And.

Mayor MacCready (Fallout 3)

Why did they alter spelling?

Err.

I end on a very odd note.

Near the start of prequel, cave houses a curious detail.

Snow/ice formation looks almost identical to head belonging to probaby the most famous movie monster in cinema history.

Alien

Happy accident?

We'll never know.

Personally, I blame the first goddamn week of winter.

Jojo Rabbit - The scoop and digest

Writer, star and director Taika Waititi takes Christine Leunens' novel Caging Skies to the big screen.

Roman Griffin Davis - Jojo
Thomasin McKenzie - Elsa
Scarlett Johannson - Rosie
Taika Waititi - Adolf
Sam Rockwell - Captain Klenzendorf
Rebel Wilson - Fräulein Rahm
Alfie Allen - Finkel
Stephen Merchant - Deertz

Summary

Ahead of Hitler Youth training weekend, 10-year-old Johannes 'Jojo' Betzler is supported and buoyed by imaginary friend Adolf.

Jojo is teased by his superiors for refusing to snap a rabbit's neck, hence title.

Returning home one day, Jojo finds Jewish girl Elsa hiding in their attic whom his mother Rosie invited to stay.  He threatens to give 'ghost' up, but is warned Rosie would be killed if he did.

A relationship gradually blossoms.

Wunderbar or scheisse?

It's sandwiched somewhere between.

First off, I don't think this rips off Life Is Beautiful.  Sure there are similarities, but even so.

WWII satire highlights how Nazism influenced, exploited and corrupted children, but fails to balance irreverent humour and drama.

Basically, it's neither one or the other.

As for guy with infamous moustache, he's not Hitler at all.  Just the mind of a young boy interpreting him as being so.

Of Waititi's camp and goofy portrayal?

Marmite.

Given controversial subject matter, I find it quite odd that jokes (aimed at whoever), are not dangerous or even particularly offensive.

For me, geezer at the helm really missed a trick.

Davis steals the show with a performance beyond his years, Rebel Wilson is her usual likeable self and Sam Rockwell has a blast.

Near the end, after declaring his love for Elsa, Jojo tells Adolf (post-suicide) to "Fuck off" and boots ass out of nearest window.

Ha ha ha!

Jojo and Elsa dance to the opening of David Bowie's Heroes (Helden) and before credits roll:

Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final.

- Rainer Maria Rilke

FYI.

This is an excerpt from Go to the Limits of Your Longing.

1917 - The scoop and digest

Inspired by a story told to director by his grandfather, Sam Mendes returns to the battlefield for the first time since Jarhead.

George MacKay - Schofield
Dean-Charles Chapman - Blake

Summary

At the height of WWI (6 April to be precise), two soldiers are sent deep in enemy territory by their General to deliver a direct order to Colonel Mackenzie to abandon an attack which will save the lives of 1,600 men (including Blake's brother).

It's a trap

While not the masterpiece critics would have us believe, it's impossible not to admire an ambitious and hugely impressive piece of film-making.

Although a blatant cut and some cheeky digital edits denies boast of 'one continuous shot', Roger Deakins' cinematography is undeniably gorgeous.

Performances from leads are good, music suits every situation, but script can be a bit wishy-washy.

Mark Strong, Benedict Cumberbatch, Colin Firth and Richard Madden are A-list cameos.

First act has Blake and Schofield literally wade through mud, only to be greeted by flies buzzing above horse carcasses and giant rats scampering over human corpses.

Be under no illusion, hellscape drips with despair.

And rightly so.

The most poignant sequence comes when a German aircraft is shot down and crashes almost on top of protagonists.  Blake decides to show compassion, but off-screen, while Schofield fetches water from nearby rusty pump, Blake is stabbed by pilot and subsequently dies in friend's arms.

Harsh stuff.

What's most disappointing is that after a very strong first half, remainder pans out in predictable fashion.

Schofield manages to locate Mackenzie and although assault has already begun, is soon called off.

Just before credits roll, the following is displayed:

For Lance Corporal Alfred H. Mendes
1st Battalion King's Royal Rifle Corps
Who told us the stories

16 bits, 2 bytes - Fourteenth Event

Undercover Cops, Varie 1995

Set in the same post-apocalyptic universe as In the Hunt, Air Duel and GunForce II, Irem's brutal brawler is one of the best alternatives to Final Fight.

New York City, 2043.

City Sweepers (Zan, Matt and Rosa) are sent to take down the insane Dr. Crayborn and his eccentric cronies.

Gameplay is food and drink.

Beat the ever loving shit out of whatever freak of nature stands in your way.

Graphics and sound translate pretty well, but the biggest problem is lack of co-op play.

Fair enough, only the insane would expect arcade's 3P, but 2P isn't asking much.

Japanese only port is also subject to odd censorship, as boobs of female enemies are less exposed and not a single drop of blood is spilled.

Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story, Virgin Interactive 1995

Based on Rob Cohen's 1993 film of same name, we taste the same gravy as Mega Drive and Jaguar.

Pseudo one-on-one fighter recreates key action sequences against authentic backdrops.

Special moves are available once chi meter is filled.

From the final day of shooting The Big Boss in 1970, to 32nd day of Enter the Dragon, story is told via digitised screens and dialogue.

Inevitably, the evil Shogun awaits.

Available either in story or battle mode, 3P is a novelty, and clones are differentiated by coloured pants.

Graphics are decent but sluggish gameplay spoils things.

For whatever reason, Master System and Game Gear versions enforced platform action.

Star Fox, Nintendo/Argonaut Software 1993

When released in Europe, it was renamed Starwing.

Why?

Was it because of a 1983 Atari 2600 game of same name or similarly titled 1987 computer game Starfox?

No.  The real reason was to avoid a potential court case with communications firm StarVox, because in a thick German accent, 'F' is pronounced like a 'V'.

So unlike Contra, it was down to paranoia, rather than censorship.

But was the excellent N64 reboot called Starwing 64 in Europe?

Don't be silly, as the big N settled on Lylat Wars.

(Frowns).

By the time Star Fox Adventures came out in 2002, there was no name change, so either said company was defunct or it was decided nobody would give a shit.

Anyway...

Even though much of Namco's Starblade is ripped off, original was superb.

Back in the day, North American import set me back a pretty ridiculous £65.

Considering £50 was the norm, that was rather extreme.

Beneath the plastic hid Super FX, a custom-made graphics accelerator chip capable of rendering hundreds of polygons simultaneously, ensuring rail shooter's graphics were nothing short of jaw-dropping.

As on-board processor ran at over 10 MHz, 3D models zipped around nicely and without too much slowdown. 

While X on Game Boy previously gave 3D a bash, we'd never seen anything like it on a console.

General Pepper enlists Fox McCloud, and his anthropomorphic friends Peppy Hare, Slippy Toad and Falco Lombardi, to step inside respective Arwings and protect Corneria from evil ape Andross, who having been banished to Venom; declared war on the Lylat System.

We can adjust to life by giving Training a whirl, which primarily involves flying through rings.

Don't worry, actual game is more exciting than Superman 64.

Chosen route not only dictates difficulty, but also determines which path is taken to Venom.

Action is viewed third-person (occasionally first-person), and while lasers do the talking, we can also barrel roll, accelerate, decelerate and nuke.

CPU controlled wingmen often cry out for help and player is under no obligation to do so.

Great stuff.

While human chitter chatter is perfectly legible, friends babbling a banquet of bullshit adds to the charm.

Music is appropriately dramatic and has a real cinematic feel.

We'll take aim at tanks, robots, organic parasites and dodge oncoming obstacles.

Upon defeating impressive bosses, Star Wars-esque escape sequences ooze quality.

Andross (as disembodied head) spits an assortment of polygons and grows horns on toughest route.

The little devil.

Like all the best games, there are two hidden levels to uncover.

The Awesome Black Hole

Asteroid Belt (Level 1) - blast three red asteroids and pass through each cluster of spinning grey.  Then shoot asteroid wearing sinister smiley face until black hole appears, and obviously fly into it.

Pepper tells us space 'grave yard' is where Fox's father vanished.

Of course, it should be graveyard.

Try as we might, but pops can't be found.

Area functions as a warp zone, and where you'll end up is dependant on which ring is flown through.

Out of This Dimension

Asteroid Belt 2 (Level 3) - ignore first, but destroy second giant asteroid on the right.  Follow bird creature that hatches and...

Aside from killer paper airplanes, pseudo one-armed bandit boss hones into view, whose handle must be shot until three 7's are spun.

What the FUCK?

But there is no escape, because even after rearranging 'The End' post credit roll, stage just loops.

Stunt Race FX, Nintendo/Argonaut 1994

F-Zero wannabe is fairly awkward to control and a bit slow.

We can choose from four unremarkable modes:

Speed - against the time and CPU.
Stunt - over four unique trax, get star balloons.
Battle - only co-op situation is split-screen against CPU or human.
Free Trax - achieve the best time.

Courses boast variety and weather effects, such as falling snow and water splashing.

When taking damage, meter is filled rather than emptied and losing a life or running out of time leads to disqualification.

Jolly music and fancy graphics mask an ordinary experience.

Spindizzy Worlds, ASCII Entertainment 1992

Controls weren't great on Amiga/Atari ST, and translate even worse on joypad.

I also remember graphics to be smoother too.

But at least we're spared the indignity of using keyboard to rotate view.

As per predecessor, spinning top thing GERALD (Geographic Environmental Reconnaissance And Land-Mapping Device), is tasked with protecting star systems before they're destroyed.

Level select screen consists of two star systems, here named Easydizzy (what?) and Spindizzy.

Why not call more difficult cluster Harddizzy?

Some are timed, some not.

Rather bizarrely, there's a Pac-Man tribute stage, aptly called Pak Attack.

Each planet contains aliens, hazards, switches and ramps.

Fuel represents energy and lost when hit by baddies and falling off high areas.

We can fight back by collecting power ups and fuel can be replenished by collecting jewels.

For whatever reason, touching switches sometimes causes game to briefly pause.

Bollocks.

Despite programming 'glitch', shit is worth perservering with as things get pretty devious later on.

Battle Cars, Namco 1993

Mode 7 tracks are choppy and have more twists and turns than a rollercoaster.

If control scheme was tight, this wouldn't be a huge problem.

However...

Bumping edge of track is really fucking annoying, as car is unnaturally nudged back to centre.

And just for a laugh, habit is inconsistent.

Still, firing rockets at other vehicles helps us let off steam.

ClayFighter, Visual Concepts 1993

As you'd expect, 16 meg claymation Street Fighter parody doesn't take itself seriously.

The Blob (master of Goojitsu), Bad Mr. Frosty, Blue Suede Goo (parody of Elvis song Blue Suede Shoes), Helga (large breasted Viking), Bonker (clown), Taffy (sweet), Tiny (circus strongman) and Ickybod Clay (pumpkin head).

To become King of the Circus, whoever must defeat N. Boss (laughs), a curious mix of balls with floating eyes.

Six attack buttons, plenty of digitised speech and satisfying gameplay made this worth our pennies.

Unlike original, Tournament Edition was released only for SNES a year later in North America as a rental-only deal with Blockbuster.

First off, purple meteorite crashes, characters emerge and Playland becomes Clayland.

Intro was the ending in original.

Other minor improvements include a few new stages, tighter gameplay and multiple modes afforded by Tournament gimmick.

C2: Judgment Clay, Interplay 1995

Title is an obvious play on T2: Judgment Day with new character Hoppy on bike spoofing film poster.

24 meg exclusive still boasts 8 characters, but only Tiny, Bad Mr. Frosty and Blob return.

Googoo (baby), Nanaman (banana suit), Octohead (octopus) and Kangoo (kangaroo) complete roster.

Tournament mode is included and character colour depends on button pushed.

Some backgrounds are actually clay models with graphics superimposed over them.

Most are shite though.

Instead of unique boss, whoever must take on alter ego.

In full:

Goo Goo (Spike)
Frosty (Ice) 

Kangoo (Thunder)
Octohead (Jack)
Nanaman (Dr. Peelgood)
Hoppy (Sarge)
Blob (Slyck)
Tiny (Butch)

When defeated, code given unlocks respective personality on title screen.

Although sprites are identical, each boast different move sets, winning stances and endings.

While animation is a marked improvement, it's less fun to play than true predecessor.

N64 got ClayFighter: 63⅓ and update Sculptor's Cut in 1997.

Star Ocean, tri-Ace 1996

This and Street Fighter Alpha 2 are the only games to utilise S-DD1 chip.

Also, cart weighs in at a whopping 48 megs (console's maximum capacity), matching the earlier Tales of Phantasia.

Fascinating stuff.

Plot concerns a herb that cures a disease which turns people into stone.

Along the way, Roddick Farrence and co get caught up in the middle of a galactic war.

RPG separates itself from Final Fantasy et al, as random battles (featuring voice clips), switch to an isometric perspective and play out in real-time.

Japanese exclusive was eventually remade for PSP (subbed First Departure) and fairly bizarrely, once again for PS4 and Switch, as First Departure R.

Super Punch-Out!!, Nintendo 1994

Remake of 1984 arcade sequel of same name is also a pseudo sequel to NES game Punch-Out!!, which remade both arcades.

Championship mode is split into three circuits (Minor, Major and World), all featuring different fighters of varying difficulty.

Once filled, new super meter allows Little Mac to unleash a variety of devastating punches.

In order to become World Video Boxing Champion, we must swap punches with:

Gabby Jay, Bear Hugger, Piston Hurrican, Bald Bull, Bob Charlie, Dragon Chan, Masked Muscle, Mr Sandman, Aran Ryan, Heike Kagero, Mad Clown and Super Machoman.

Completing every circuit without losing a single match unlocks Special, where Narcis Prince (loosely based on "Prince" Naseem Hamed), Hoy Quarlow, Rick Bruiser and brother Nick await.

Mashing up this, all that went before and throwing in new boxers and modes (including split-screen multiplayer) for good measure, Punch-Out!! was remade for Wii in 1999. 

Mario is Missing!, The Software Toolworks 1993

In his quest to rescue Mario from Bowser, Luigi must trip across world (using map called the Globulator), talk to characters, get information on famous structures, retrieve stolen artefacts by killing Koopas and answer questions.

Bowser plans to sell trinkets and buy enough hairdryers to melt Antarctica.

Okay, whatever.

I get that educational games were popular at the time (Rex Ronan etc), but buying an encyclopedia would be a more worthwhile investment.

The 'Discovery Series' continued with Mario's Time Machine and Mario's Early Years!

Championship Pool, Bitmasters 1993

Basics are obviously here and table is viewed from a top-down perspective.

Tune is catchy enough, various games (eight-ball, nine-ball, straight pool etc) add variety and ball physics aren't the worst.

Oh, it was officially endorsed by the Billiard Congress of America.

If you really must bring pub game home, Gamecube version of Archer Maclean's Pool Paradise (endorsed by the Whirlwind Jimmy White no less) remains the best example.

International Superstar Soccer Deluxe, Konami 1995

Despite sounding like an update, this is actually the sequel to ISS.

Of course, series eventually evolved into Pro Evo.

16 different formations, 8 strategies, 36 national sides and 8 stadia (each varying in size and decor), rightfully earns praise.

Due to licensing issues, all players are fictitious.  Any similarity to overpaid fools, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Crowd chanting, audible opinion, the excitement of bearing down on goal and various 'oohs and ahs' deliver a great atmosphere.

Having a cameraman behind goal is a brilliant touch.

Providing multitap is available, up to four players can compete.

The only downside with a belting game of footie is unlike Super Soccer, pitch is flat.

This was also released for Mega Drive and eventually PS1.

Super Baseball 2020, Monolith Corp. 1993

Futuristic theme makes silly boys rounders more interesting.

Choose from a mix of male and female humans, and robots (who unlike their human equivalents, can explode, rather than becoming knackered).

What is a bit naff (also true for Neo Geo original), is that Cyber Egg is the only stadium.

Pitchers, fielders and batters earn money for scoring a strike, running peeps out etc, and dosh is used to improve performance.

Conveniently, we can power up character at any time.

Cash penalties can be incurred, but aren't particularly severe.

Unfortunately, landmines dubbed 'crackers' no longer make an appearance on field.

Humph! 

Cliffhanger, Sony Imagesoft 1993

How to ruin a thoroughly entertaining action movie?

Turn it into a fucking awful video game of course.

Generic whore stain forces us to punch, kick, stab and shoot stock henchmen and thanks to appalling controls, we're almost helpless to receiving damage when climbing cliff faces.

But call Rocky Mountain Rescue, because it's not all bad news.

Trevor Jones' theme is recognisable, cut scenes are accompanied by reasonably accurate dialogue and we actually fight the likes of Ryan, Kynette, Travers and Qualen.

Sprites are hilariously bad though.

Mega CD was much the same shower of shit, but music is lifted directly from the film and lengthy FMV sequences (edited for swearing) replace story screens.

Oh, we're now forced to snowboard.  Yeah, remember when Gabe jumped ludicrously high to avoid rocks, while also dodging boulders, falling trees and logs?

Game Boy and Game Gear favoured obstacles over henchmen and story largely followed film to the letter.