Tuesday 27 November 2018

You're gonna need a bigger feature

One of the greatest quotes in cinema history came about by accident.

As Jaws was largely filmed on water, a single barge (nicknamed the USS Garage Sale), only had a single support boat to keep it balanced.

Producers Richard Zanuck and David Brown were known for being stingy.

The fact they clearly needed 'a bigger boat' to house equipment became an in-joke and used every time something went wrong.

Roy Scheider ad-libbed catchphrase several times during production, and was kept for one particular scene.

After seeing the shark for the first time, a stunned Brody gives the perfect reaction.

"You're gonna need a bigger boat."
While nowhere near as effective, Brody uses 'bigger boat' twice more in dialogue.

Film references

Dialogue often swaps 'You're' for 'We're', and similarly - 'gonna' is 'going'.

The Mandela effect? Who knows?

While list shouldn't be considered definitive, try finding one better.

Sharknado (2013)

We're going to need a bigger chopper.

The Fate of the Furious (2017)

We're gonna need a bigger truck.

Harbinger Down (2015)

We're gonna need a bigger bucket.

Attack of the Adult Babies (2017)

You're gonna need a bigger nappy.

2012 (2009)

We're gonna need a bigger plane.

Batman & Robin (1997)

We're going to need a bigger cave.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)

We're gonna need a bigger battery.

RoboCop (2014)

We're gonna need a bigger prison.

Shanhai Knights (2003)

You're going to need a bigger gun.

Cop Out (2010)

We're going to need a bigger boat.

Tiny Toons Spring Break (1994), Clerks (1994) and Evan Almighty (2007) all use:

We're gonna need a bigger a boat.

Tremors 5: Bloodlines (2015)

We're gonna need a big-ass cage.

Treasure Planet (2002)

We are going to need a bigger boat.

Are We Done Yet? (2007)

I think we need a bigger boat

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)

You need a bigger door.

Aliens in the Attic (2009)

You're gonna need a bigger potato.

Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

You're gonna need a bigger jar.

And.

The Last Sharknado: It's About Time

I'm gonna need a bigger chainsaw.

Miscellany

I Think We're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat is The BPA's debut album and Bryan Singer's Bad Hat Harry Productions was inspired by Brody's dialogue "That's some bad hat, Harry."

I haven't seen it (and don't intend to), but ultra low-budget film House Shark uses the tagline "You're gonna need a bigger house!"

Due to licensing issues, many episodes of Only Fools & Horses on VHS/DVD box sets were brutally edited, often leading to the removal of dialogue and even scenes.

During the opening to Healthy Competition, John Williams' theme was replaced with similar sounding music.

In Video Nasty, Del suggests that Rodney should write about his ridiculous Jaws-type story, There's a Rhino Loose in the City.

Jaws is mentioned in the lyrics to Queen's Bicycle Race.

While nowhere near as obvious and/or ridiculous as The Revenge, Brucie does 'roar'.

All instances shown in ascending order.

Third barrel.
Transom sequence.
Breaking through cabin.
So now you know.

Orca

Viewtiful Joe (Gamecube/PS2)
Call of Duty: Ghosts (Fog map found in the Onslaught DLC pack)
Lego Jurassic World (during The Lost World)
Loosely based on real-life attractions such as Back to the Future and E.T. Adventure, Gamecube atrocity Universal Studios Theme Park Attractions was literally 'trash'.

Player must throw barrels and crates at Jaws
Sounds absolutely riveting.

Yeah, okay.

Jaws 2
After Brody is fired off-screen, ex-police chief returns home steaming drunk.
We can see that barrel has been reborn as planter.
Bruce


Best O' Plucky Duck Day (Tiny Toon Adventures)
Animaniacs (SNES)
Finding Nemo
Tiny Toons Spring Break
Gran Bruce (Viewtiful Joe)
Comics

Inspired of course.

Nightcrawler #2 of 4
Heroes for Hire #5
Spidey Super Stories
And one from DC.

"Jaws of the Killer Shark!"
Jaws cash-in Hook Jaw was the jewel in Action's short-lived controversial crown.
Unsurprisingly, 'anti-hero' was the face of 1979 annual.
Published by Herald Books, Manga remains rarer than hen's teeth.

I'm digging Brody and Quint.
But what the fuck happened to Hooper?
Conclusion is bloody authentic.


Troma Productions presents Blades.

Thomas R. Rondiella's piss take deserves more recognition.
Roy Kent (Brody), Deke Slade (Quint), Kelly Lange (drafted in as Hooper) and Norman Osgood (Mayor Vaughn).

Moving with extreme speed, killer lawnmower's POV is unmistakably The Evil Dead.

Countless scenes cleverly mirror source material.

Horny couple's remains discovered in bunker vs Christine Watkins on beach.

Wrong lawnmower vs wrong shark.

Mrs Simpkins slapping Roy vs Mrs Kintner slapping Brody.

Wrong lawnmower's waste bag cut open vs Hooper's autopsy.

Roy and Kelly failing to persuade Tall Grass owner Osgood to call off upcoming golfing tournament vs Brody and Hooper trying to do the same with Vaughn's obsession with the 4th of July.

Subsequently, competitor Squire Evans is mangled, rather like Estuary victim is eaten.

Deke's van vs Orca, using balloons instead of barrels.

Deke's speech about his father getting killed by mower vs Quint's Indianapolis speech.

Mower mincing Deke vs shark eating Quint.

Roy tees off and eventually scores a direct hit on engine, yelling 'Fore!' in the process, equating to Brody's 'Smile you son of a bitch'.

Killer machine spirals out of control and explodes in water hazard.

You want more?

No problem.

Cracked 131 (March 1976)
Mad (January 1976)
Gums (of Monster Fun)
Bart Simpson's Treehouse of Horror 13 kicks off with Gnaws.

Highlights reel start.

Three-eyed fish grew ginornamously huge by all the toxic waste flowing in the ocean from the nuclear power plant.
You're going to need a bigger boat.
Wiggum and Frink show disgust at Captain needing help with suntan lotion.
'Sea Captain's Log' (spoofing Star Trek), notes the clueless Horatio harpooning scurvy target with barrels, forcing it to the surface.
Never... did like the ocean.
YAARRRGGHH!
Smile, you son of a... BEEYOOOOOOTCH!
Wiggum and Frink nervously swim home.
Concluding with.

An excellent recreation of Roger Kastel's poster.
From issue 14 onwards, Bongo re-branded annual horror comic as The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror.

Piranha (1978), Piranha 3D and Tremors


The Rocky Horror Picture Show

a different set of jaws
This is debatable.

Tim Curry's evil Frank-N-Furter taking five maybe reffing...
Publicity photo of Spielberg inside Bruce. 
To something more clear cut.

In Spielberg's 1979 war comedy 1941, Susan Backlinie spoofs famous death scene, as rather than getting eaten, hitches a ride on Japanese submarine.
Complete with music, tail acts as fin in the intro to Airplane!
Brian Griffin's House of Payne (Family Guy)
The Deepening (Bob's Burgers)
Lenny crashing through 'blank' billboard in Shark Tale leaves iconic mark.
The Keith & Paddy Picture Show (S1 E4)
The Simpsons

The Wife Aquatic
Homer Goes to College
Lisa's First Word
Take My Life, Please
See you next time.
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