Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Go Film Go (Rock and Pop)

Enforced by personal taste or cultural reference, feature presentation is just the start of motion picture 35mm roll.

Some are less blatant than others, but signposting and description ensures you won't miss a thing.

Michael Jackson's Thriller is displayed in Back to the Future Part II when Marty returns from 2015 to an 'alternate' 1985.
Just in case ears were having an off day, Beat It (from the same album) is heard in the Cafe 80s.
Alien abduction thriller Dark Skies wasn't anything great, but missing son Jesse was a fan of Mastodon's The Hunter and Curren$y's The Stoned Immaculate.
Until supercop John Spartan (Stallone) and notorious criminal Simon Phoenix (Wesley Snipes) are thawed out in San Angeles 2032, 20th century obsessed Lenina Huxley (Sandra Bullock) finds life beyond tedious in enjoyable action satire Demolition Man.
Red Hot Chili Peppers spilling Blood Sugar Sex Magik can suck my kiss.
In the original Get Carter, (not to be confused with the fucking terrible Stallone remake), Let it Bleed by The Rolling Stones is upright on Michael Caine's apartment floor.
The already dead Lisa (Abigail Breslin) experiences groundhog day in 2013 supernatural thriller Haunter.  In turn, David Bowie became Low and Meat is Murder for The Smiths.
In piss poor comedy Hot Tub Time Machine, friends John Cusack, Craig Robinson and Rob Corddry travel back to 1986, where Duran Duran's Rio may or may not be abundantly obvious.
Either way, it is now...
Wes Craven's seminal horror franchise A Nightmare on Elm Street made Robert Englund a horror icon.  It also saw a fresh-faced Johnny Depp make his big screen debut and snooze shack contains Grace Under Pressure from Rush.
Steve Carell stars as the titular 40-Year-Old-Virgin and Asia's eponymously titled debut was chosen ahead of any other.
In lamentable Jason Biggs/Isla Fisher romcom Wedding Daze, The National provide uneasy snap with Alligator.
As men lusted after Kelly LeBrock in 1985 teen sci-fi comedy classic Weird ScienceY&T's In Rock We Trust may have escaped attention.
Based on Andrea Dunbar's stage plays 'The Arbour' and 'Rita, Sue and Bob Too', Alan Clarke's 1986 British classic features a mutilated poster of Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols.
After Dolph Lundgren's violent stab at portraying Frank Castle in The Punisher (1989), the Marvel vigilante changed persona and neither Thomas Jane in 2004 reboot/remake or Ray Stevenson in 2008 sequel War Zone looked out of place.
Anyway, far left is Faster Pussycat's self-titled vanity and Iron Maiden's single Can I Play with Madness, taken from Seventh Son of a Seventh Son, equates to immaculate observation.
Finally, 2006 infertility thriller Children of Men must be commended for recreating the cover art of Pink Floyd's Animals.


Pigs may not fly, but they do float...

Now appetite is whetted, theatre plays next.

Monday, 16 March 2015

Video games stealing film and famous faces - Reel 1

Remember when video game miscellany became 'tasty'?

Sure you do, and while that'll return, consider this a sub-plot.

Schwarzenegger is back, again.

Vintage arcade scrolling hack 'n slash classic Golden Axe never portrayed Ax Battler as Conan, but the Master System port begged to differ...


 Not convinced? You soon will be.




Hmmm, the final screen rips off the mediocre Return of the Jedi.


Ewoks? Don't mention those bastard furry things.

This scene is also made clear in C64 decapitation classic Barbarian, not to be confused with the Psygnosis game of same name.


Notice Drax and how tart is slouched.

Lady Sword not only stole Renato Casaro's poster art, but also the scantily clad Leia.


Boris Vallejo's artwork for National Lampoon's Vacation serves as an obvious parody.


Taito's Rastan was another to exploit the success of sword and sorcery.


At conclusion, the piss was really taken.


With epilogue.


All they did is change text and not have it scroll over epilogue.

Brilliant!

Just in case chopper didn't click, the final screen of Golden Axe also applied 'alteration'.

Did Tecmo's Shadow Warriors also help themselves?


Probably.

Muscle-bound boss geezer Roper appears in SNES crossover farce Battletoads & Double Dragon: The Ultimate Team.


Commando may be one of the most ridiculous action capers of all time, but unloads more entertainment than Colonel John Matrix's machine gun.

Their inspiration is thusly.



Before Arnie says hasta la vista, Battle K-Road is targeted for termination.


Cyborg T-8P is dumped straight from the famous poster (minus the leather jacket).

In the same shower of shit, Wolf is Stallone.


Although backwards cap isn't a beret, Demolition Man anybody?

Round 1: Jet Li

Licensed video game: Rise to Honour (PS2)

Unlicensed miscellany.

Martial Masters and char Master Huang was clearly influenced by persona and famous ponytail.


Crazy as it is, he's an unscrupulous mirror match of Lee from SNK's The Last Blade.


For fun, another Hwang began life in Namco's Soul Edge, aka Soul Blade.

I'm sure many still think Soul Calibur was the original.

Round 2: Jackie Chan

Licensed video games: Stuntmaster (PS1)Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu (NES and PC Engine) and Jackie Chan Adventures (PS2).

Washed out digitised arcade fighter The Kung-Fu Master: Jackie Chan and update Fists of Fire, bordered on unhealthy obsession as three versions of Jackie were playable.

Pioneered by SNK's Art of Fighting, screen scaling was adopted.

Unlicensed miscellany.

Before Ninja Combat, there was Gang Wars.
Silent Dragon (Arcade)
On the left is Joe, to my right is Lee and Kato pops up to say hello before he doesn't go back down below.
For some reason, fourth char (Sonny) is unavailable for comment.

So Lee obviously impersonates and Joe assumes the pose of poster for The Big Brawl, aka Battle Creek Brawl.


Finally, this guy didn't tell a very good Police Story.

Lei - debuted in Tekken 2
The lyrics to Ash track Kung Fu also mention the man.

2008 action adventure Forbidden Kingdom saw Jet Li and Jackie Chan engage in battle for the first time.

High-kicking drama ends as it has to with the godfather.

Final Round: Bruce Lee

Licensed games: Quest of the Dragon (Xbox), Return of the Legend (GBA) and Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story (various).

Don't understand the politics, but Datasoft released the originally titled platform/action thing Bruce Lee for numerous 8 bits in 1983/1984.

To be fair, many are in tribute but some didn't give a flying kick.

*indicates series debut

Fei Long - Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers*
His ending in Turbo Revival on GBA.


Dragon Chan - Super Punch-Out!!*
He became Fling Long Chop, Master of No-Can-Do in Elite's disgraceful home computer clone Frank Bruno's Boxing.
Naughty Dog's 3DO abomination Way of the Warrior is probably the cheapest Mortal Kombat rip off ever conceived.

Still, if you like White Zombie, appalling chars and retarded frame rate, this wets pants.

If you can bear it, look at this FUCKING ASSHOLE portraying Dragon.


Anybody who doesn't think he deserves a right royal slapping, needs slapping.

He's basically Liu Kang with a stupid barnet.

Why the fuck do I scream like a demented chicken?
Yes, we've often wondered...

Before ditching digitised actors, Kang was portrayed by Ho Sung Pak (original and sequel) and Eddie Wong (MK 3, Ultimate MK 3 and MK Trilogy).

If you include live action, Robin Shou is yer' man.

Mortal Kombat Advance was the GBA port of Ultimate MK 3 and if you thought the SNES version was bad...

Although nobody cared, the 'best' version of Ultimate MK 3 was Ultimate Mortal Kombat (missing the '3') on DS in 2007.

WHY?

MK Trilogy had a komplete char roster (including playable bosses), together with incorporating some backgrounds from original and I think all from sequel.

A select few received new, but unexciting specials and when spelt during match; the exclusive Aggressor bar made warriors temporarily faster and stronger.

Being able to select classic incarnations of Raiden, Jax, Kano and Kung Lao even predates 'Super vs. Mode' in Street Fighter Collection 2, and obviously Hyper.

Further to omitting playable bosses (mainly down to cart storage issues), the N64 port was overall inferior to PS1.  The Saturn version was nigh on identical to the system that sunk it.

Whoah, kinda got carried away there.

Marshall Law - Tekken series
Before the dodgy tache in Tekken 3.


How he originally looked in 1994.


What is going on with yap?

Ha ha ha!

Maxi - Soul Calibur*
Unlike coin muncher, Billy in Double Dragon Advance was purposely made to look like everybody's martial arts hero.
So much so, this is duplicated in box art which along with twin brother Jimmy, looks very much like a conscious reproduction of promotional still from the Chuck Norris fight in Way of the Dragon.


Jann Lee - Dead or Alive series
Congrats must go to 'Martin' as while the Amstrad CPC conversion of Bad Dudes vs Dragon Ninja loads, we are treated to a screen that completely ignores the principle of arcade original.



Whatever, right?

Dragon - World Heroes series
D.D. Crew was a very shitty 1991 Final Fight clone.
Sega had a very, very bad day.

"Damn! Shut up already."
Unfortunately, such rap crap occurs during boss battle.
Hon Fu - Fatal Fury 3: Road to the Final Victory*
Konami's Yie Ar Kung-Fu may have been the first one on one fighter to boast 'special' moves, albeit only by CPU only opponents.

Oolong says haiya.


Did chars Fan and Buchu inspire Mai Shiranui and E. Honda respectively?

Maybe.

Shao-lin's Road adapted proceedings by mixing scrolling action with platforms.

Instead of sticking with insert coin, Konami sold out with a straight to home sequel.

Although Game of Death is movie of interest, who's this?



Oh yeah, Max von Sydow as Ming the Merciless in 1980 film of Flash Gordon.


The 1974 soft porn spoof Flesh Gordon came before and Sam Jones scrapping with 'Mr Ming' in Ted still makes me laugh.

Let's hope sequel is nearly as funny but I don't hold out much hope.

Some games shouldn't have been made and The Way of the Little Dragon on Amiga is one of those examples.


Its title screen probably robbed Enter the Dragon.


Han taking the full force of kick without actually being hit is amusingly bad.
Considering offensive sewage was released in 1987, it's therefore extremely odd that poster art for 1993 biopic is eerily similar.


However, this 'doctored' image from sunA's Best of Best is no coincidence.


I suppose Korean obscurity has its privileges.

Hudson's China Warrior on PC Engine is weird, but obvious lookalike resisting giant boulder is beyond fucked.
Based around Cthulhu mythos, superb 1993 adventure Shadow of the Comet blatantly depicted Hollywood legends.

Here's the meat of who you'll meet in 'Illsmouth'.

Jack Nicholson


Vincent Price


H. P. Lovecraft made a deserved cameo.


Nice touch Infogrames.

Okay, it's time to up the difficulty.

Willem Dafoe


Dustin Hoffman?


Inconclusive.

Charles Laughton


Robert Mitchum


The dude in focus is definitely Robert Shaw.



Presenting my personal best.

Grace Kelly


Jackie Gleason


Walter Matthau


Until the odyssey continues...
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