Wednesday, 29 April 2015

Slithering snakes - what a coincidence!

Some sequels are likely to shame the original.

This is not one of those situations...


The box art of 1993 slasher Nostril Picker suggests content is about homicidal knife-wielding maniac inserting whichever digit up his hooter before and/or after each murder.

It couldn't be further from the fucking truth as in exchange for alcohol, loner learns mysterious chant from street guzzler which transforms him into a girl, so he can lure and kill other females of the species.

If that's weird, take a look at Garbage Pail Kids.

Snooty Sam is obvious parody but Explorin' Norman takes things to extremes.

Every GPK card has a 'twin'.  In this case, opposites are Drillin' Dylan and U.S. Arnie.

Dale Snail and Tiny Tim are about to be mercifully crushed underfoot, just like chicken and Chuckie Egg from 1983.

You could also link Tiny Tim to 1989 family sci-fi Honey, I Shrunk the Kids as Rick Moranis's offspring are accidentally shrunk.

Created in 1999, girlies who wear Dior smell great.

Take a look at Larry Lips and elongated neck.

Using a combination of concave mirror and large CRT, Time Traveler projected 'holographic' imagery and therefore, a bold and clever experiment from arcade giants Sega.

Designed by Dragon's Lair geezer Rick Dyer, survival was predictably pedantic and down to how fruit machines work - luck rather than skill.

Swapping FMV for sprite, despicable one on one fighter Holosseum was the next to use identical setup.

On completion, you received this medal.
Here's how others flexed biceps.

Total Recall (C64)
Tecmo's Shadow Warriors was produced by Strong team in 1988.

Yeah, all fucked up.

Lily Allen paraphrases relationship break-up for album It's Not Me, It's You.

In this garment, Homer lolls in similar fashion.

Apart from Bloodsport, I'm sure many would agree that A.W.O.L. is probably Van Damme's best film.

This dude provides modest opposition for Lyon.
Credits state N.Y. "Monster" Fighter to be James Brewster Thompson.
Atari's Pit Fighter featured baddie Southside Jim.

Also starring as 'Toots' in pseudo 1992 scrolling follow-up Guardians of the 'Hood, James Thompson is bad-ass bastard, . 
Is it the same guy?

Who the fuck knows.

Originally released for C64 in 1988 with 16 bits following a year later, The Dungeon of Drax, (Palace's sequel to Barbarian: The Ultimate Warrior) sacrificed moves for monsters and exploration.

Given half a chance, this dinosaur like creature will punish player by gobbling head.

Could it be possible that Henrietta's stop motion monster from Evil Dead II was stolen?

The prosecution says no.

Dodgier than a backstreet deal, but...

New Order - Lost Sirens (2013)
Abstract art from Paul Klee.

New Harmony (1936)
Choose any set of 3x3 and try to mimic New Order's art on painting.

All I can say is - good luck...

Brilliant but troubled Australian Olympic swimmer Ian Thorpe is nicknamed 'Thorpedo'.
One of the baddies in Tad 'Cabal' Corporation's 1989 run and gun arcade Toki was for some reason also named so.

Ha ha ha!

Natalie Portman made her memorable debut in Luc Besson's Leon, but rose to prominence as Queen Amidala in the Star Wars prequel trilogy.

December 2015 and Episode VII is a galaxy far, far away....

I'd suggest photo was probably taken around 1999.

Ultra Violent Worlds was a 1998 CD32 shmup.  Commander Honcho orders you to join her for a special "de-briefing" upon your return to Earth.

Is that some kind of sexual inference?

Maybe it was based on her but I seriously doubt it.

I normally wouldn't hesitate in slamming the following, but because of what they'd be stood accused of...

Observe arrow and game completion screen to C64 X-Out (1989) and Amiga (1990) respectively.

Bored of spaceship? Well fear not, as a zap later from your 'tranquilander' on certain enemy robots in Atlus's 1992 arcade BlaZeon, permits the role of bio-cyborg.

Final boss could almost form part of alien landscape.

Atlus ripping this off would make no fucking sense.

Palette change aside, SNES interpreted monster perfectly.

First seen inside derelict spaceship, landscape and end boss probably ripped off Alien and Space Jockey.

We now know 'head' to be helmet, as seen in 2012 prequel Prometheus.

16 bit sequel Z-Out was only made available for Amiga and Atari ST in 1991.

Boss threat comes from as above, so below.

Following standard boss on stage 6, a unique surprise followed in the superb 1988 PC Engine port of R-Type.  In 1991, Japanese exclusive R-Type Complete CD on Super CD also followed suit.

Again, very weird.

Alien shenanigans are prevalent in J. J. Abrams very decent 2011 sci-fi thriller Super 8.

Piloted by Devilotte, Super-8 is one of several mech opponents you'll face in Cyberbots: Fullmetal Madness, the spin-off to 1994 scrolling mayhem Armored Warriors.

Courtesy of Super 8 footage, Scott Derrickson's Sinister delivered supernatural shocks.

The sequel is out in August.

Also, Jennifer 8 is a serial killer thriller starring Andy Garcia, with Uma Thurman as a blind and obviously vulnerable witness.

Rarities is a 2010 album from Emiliana Torrini.

From crocodiles to elephants and even fossils, 1995 sequel Bubble Memories: The Story of Bubble Bobble III chose to digitise numerous backgrounds.

Like this one for instance.

Ignoring ports, remakes and compilations, the only thing that baffles more is the naming of Taito's classic franchise.

Originally on PC Engine in 1991 and later on Game Boy in 1992, Parasol Stars were both subbed The Story of Bubble Bobble III, so the sequel to Rainbow Islands.

As already established, Taito would give Bubble Memories the same bastard subtitle.

Parasol Stars on Amiga told The Story of Rainbow Islands II.


Did Ocean not know about the other ports?

Yes, it's the same thing but even so.

Released for Game Boy and NES in 1993, Bubble Bobble Part 2 did nothing to improve this debacle.

Next came Bubble Symphony, (aka Bubble Bobble II) in 1994, which leads me to cough bamboozled blood.

Does this prequel Part 2 or perversely, follow Rainbow Islands?

Even if that's right, two fingers are still flashed at logic because rewinding to 1987, Rainbow Islands was The Story of Bubble Bobble II.

And you thought Mega Man and Final Fantasy was bad.

Time for some crazy lookalikes.

Busty fan thrower and girlfriend of Andy Bogard debuted in SNK's Fatal Fury 2.
Mai Shiranui, look at the box art for Starbyte's 1990 puzzler Logo.

Meet Neil from 2012 stop-motion horror comedy ParaNorman. 
He has a long lost relative (just not as squashed).

Brett Kelly is simply known as 'The Kid' in outrageous 2003 festive comedy Bad Santa.

Along with the help of pint-sized Marcus (Tony Cox), Billy Bob Thornton's disgraceful drunk Willie fleece department stores.
Chris Mess was another professional thief.

Treasure hunter Nathan 'Nate' Drake gets in (and out of) all manner of death defying scrapes in the Uncharted series.
A Thief's End will apparently conclude matters on PS4.
Are Naughty Dog spinning us a yarn? Maybe not.
With writing obviously stylised and obviously inspired by Indiana Jones, Bush Buck was a global treasure hunter from 1990.
Expect actual game to be maps, education and lots of text.
I was never a fan of tv show Bucky o'Hare and the Toad Wars! but boy genius Willy duWitt was handy to have around.

Konami's representation in their epic 1992 arcade.
'The Milkybars are on him' (in the 70s).
Running joke this one.

Lovable oaf Peter Griffin is everybody's favourite Family Guy.
PDC player Stephen Bunting exploits strange mirror match by using Surfin' Bird for walk on music.

Bent Svennson in 2010 PC point and click A New Beginning should chew it shit over with...
...Terry from The Cleveland Show.
Released for Amiga in 1995, Gloom was the first recognised Doom clone.

Either gun-toting grunt looks like...

Colonel Quaritch (Stephen Lang) from Avatar.
Remember him as reporter Freddy Lounds in Manhunter?

If so, well done.

No physical resemblance here, but something else raises eyebrows.

Chuck Norris stars as Garrett in 1991 action popcorn The Hitman.
Note silly hairstyle.
Van Damme's sailor Chance Boudreaux becomes literally a Hard Target for Lance Henriksen's gang of sadistic hunters.
Note even dafter barnet. 
Preposterous tribute?

Only John Woo or Brussel's muscles will know.

Films, songs, albums, television shows and video games can often be duplicated in name, but that's when connection instantly ends.

Observe how it also extends to character names.

Ken Masters

Twisted Metal 2
Street Fighter series

Man's Best Friend (1993)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
Or 'Wolfie'...

Macross: Scrambled Valkyrie, Zamuse 1993 (SNES)
Billy Cole

(Billy Blanks), The Last Boy Scout (1991)
(Jonathan Stark), Fright Night (1985)
Just so we're clear, there isn't an equivalent in the 2011 remake.
Loosely based on the Stephen King novel (under the pseudonym of Richard Bachman), The Running Man (1987) was adapted for the screen by Paul Michael Glaser.  Schwarzenegger was the obvious choice to portray Ben Richards.

Unless you've seen the film and more importantly remember the scene, you'll have to trust me on this.

When stalker Dynamo (Erland Van Lidth) begins chasing Richards in his space buggy, Richard Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries plays (uncredited).
Released on Spectrum in 1984, Moon Alert was inspired by and/or based on the 1982 Irem arcade Moon Patrol.

Notorious difficulty aside, one remembers title screen for... well take a guess.

0:00 - 0:04 provides very brief (but enough) proof.

Can somebody please tell me why scene of action flick with 'sameish' buggy is set against the identical piece of classical music?

Thought not.

Here's four, that's right - four colourful and very similar looking CD albums.

Alex Reece - So Far and Brian Eno - My Life in the Bush of Ghosts

Stereophonics - Language. Sex. Violence. Other? and City and Colour - Little Hell

If that wasn't great enough - take a deep breath.

Finished? Good.

8 bit junkies will fondly remember how C64 games could silently and psychedelically load.


I love this one.  I fucking love it, and I'm sure there's nothing in it.

Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not has tea boy Chris McClure and friend of Arctic Monkeys puffing away on cancer stick.

Albeit with opposite hand, George Harrison practises the same habit to relieve the stress of A Hard Day's Night.

Whenever People Say I'm A Genius, Is When I Blush.

In name at least, the soon to be devoured Fran Furter is more than likely an intentional reference to Rocky Horror sweet transvestite Dr Frank N. Furter (parodied as play-on words Rock E. Horror).
Pile of shit horror comedy Gnaw has me chomping at the bit for another reason.

Concluding matters, the mosaic on brickwall of Tecmo's 1988 arcade Shadow Warriors features Marilyn Monroe, but who else?

Bo Selecta!

Leigh Francis? affectionately known as Keith Lemon.

Yes, impossible.

Listen boys and girls - it's perfectly okay to marvel at such amazing stuff and rest assured, it will continue...
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