Aliens: Acid for Blood

One of my all-time favourite films receives analysis beyond the silver screen.

Novelization (June 1986)

Alan Dean Foster's effort was based on James Cameron's screenplay (completed on 28 February 1985) and described much of what would appear in Special Edition.

Written word also included the majority of scenes from script either shot or ultimately cut, including marines showering together, Jonesy and the bird, Gorman stung by alien's barbed tail and Bishop encountering beastie inside conduit.

Tribute:

For H. R. Giger.

Master of the sinister airbrush.

Who reveals more about us than we wish to know.

From ADF and points west.

This time it's more...!

About half of additional footage was included when heavily censored TV version debuted on CBS in 1989.

Ripley learning about her daughter's death, all robot sentry scenes and Ripley and Hicks exchanging first names were edited back in.

Extended version was first released in all its full-length glory on LaserDisc in 1991.

'Special Wide Screen Collector's Edition'

Curious title.

At the time, watching films on defunct medium was the dog's bollocks, as picture quality was much sharper than VHS, with surround sound and bonus features coming as standard.

We could also jump to an individual frame of video by simply entering respective number on remote's keypad, a perfect tool for those interested in noting continuity errors, anachronisms and so forth.

However, CAV (constant angular velocity) or Standard Play discs could only store just over 30 minutes on each side, meaning films required a minimum of two discs.

At 154 minutes, feature presentation came on four (three dedicated to film).

Cue a lot of inconvenient exercise.

(Laughs).

As a side note, early DVDs had the same problem.

By spinning slower, CLV (constant linear velocity) or Extended Play discs improved matters, with a single disc storing up to 2 hours.

Encore Entertainment released another version in 1996.

CLV Special Edition only had three discs and lacked the bonuses of CAV counterpart.

Rewinding to 1992.

I personally owned the more accessible VHS tape, with back art telling a 'white lie'.

Aliens: The Special Edition is a version of this classic movie which has never been seen before. It contains 17 minutes of extra footage restored to the original film by its director James Cameron.

As already established - not true.

More appropriately:

Aliens: Special Edition is a version of this classic movie which has never been seen before on VHS.

Oh well.

Aliens: Newt's Tale

Two-piece Dark Horse adaptation was very late to the party, but more than welcome. 

Book One (June 1992)

Opening is effectively Newt experiencing total recall (as her worst nightmare).

21 June, 2179

Time: 1109

Newt's parents Russ and Annie discover the Derelict.

Time: 1256

Upon seeing facehugger attached to daddy, Newt screams hysterically.

Carrie Henn was very good at this...

Unlike Special Edition which immediately cuts to Gorman and Burke visiting Ripley on 5 July, 2179, what follows is a visual first.

25 hours later

23 June, 2179

Time: 1637

Attack on Hadley's Hope

26 June, 2179

Time: 1411

So Timmy died trying to save mother.

Good stuff.

Christopher Golden's 2014 novel Alien: River of Pain primarily describes how doomed colony was decimated by xenomorph menace, which provided source of dates/times.

Days pass...

27 July, 2179

Time: 1003

Story picks up just before Newt is found and when River of Pain ends.

Book One concludes after marines flee the Hive.

A few lines of dialogue appear exclusively, and would eventually be included as deleted scenes in Blu-ray boxset Alien Anthology (2010), ntbcw 2012 budget release of same name, which omitted bonus discs.

Drake: "Let her go man, who cares?"

After Newt tries to bite Hicks (again), Corporal remarks: "Hope the kid don't have rabies."

Book Two (July 1992)

Film's plot is closely observed, depicting some impressive action.

Titbits

Ripley rescues Newt and finds Burke cocooned.
To 'help himself', she hands despicable company man a grenade.

In deleted scene, Ripley stumbles across him before finding Newt, and unlike comic; he tearfully apologises.

As per novel, Ripley climbs ladders and stairs to escape the Queen.

Final conflict

Back on the Sulaco.

Facehugger crawling on cryotube sets up the events of Alien³.

Before we go any further, Aliens: Outbreak (1988), Nightmare Asylum (1989) and Earth War (1990) continued the story of Cameron's film, but after David Fincher fucked everything up, Dark Horse changed Hicks and Newt to Wilks and Billie in re-prints to keep comics relevant.

Anyway.

So once again, we're supposed to buy that prior to facing Ripley, her Majesty secretly laid an 'emergency' egg while hiding in drop ship's landing gear.

ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT.

The beginning of three-part comic adaptation (also published June-July 1992) is unique, and never made it to either cut or novel.

EEV crash-lands in Fury 161's drink, and after Newt meets a watery grave, immature Queen emerges from now non-viable host's mouth and transfers to Ripley, where it remains until climax.

Like theatrical version, another facehugger implants embryo inside unsuspecting dog (called Sparky rather than Spike).

What's next?

Find out soon.

Film Mistakes - Slide 1

Ancient series dubbed 'Mysterious malfunctions in miscellany' encompassed all manner of media, but new iteration focuses solely on...

A.W.O.L.

For shits and giggles, unrelated film AWOL (not abbreviated) was released in 2016.

To further confuse matters, my favourite Van Damme vehicle wears several names.

According to sources, a fully uncut version has never been released anywhere in the world, (either on VHS or DVD).

It's suggested that Australian version Wrong Bet rated M (as opposed to more violent R cousin), is identical to UK version.

Although omitting several scenes included in newer releases of Lionheart, French Region 2 DVD Full Contact is considered to be the definitive cut.

Fascinating, right?

Lyon easily defeats James Brewster Thompson's N.Y. "Monster" Fighter.

Blood trickles from corner of mouth.

Not long after.

Claret has gone.

KO.

Dude is magically covered in blood.

More continuity hijinks.

Our man takes on Paco Prieto's vicious Pool Fighter.

Note claw mark.

Cos' upon victory.

Wound has disappeared.

One more.

Todays' fight odds are fixed, but Today's would be a dead cert.
So Lyonheart faces end boss Atilla?

End credits beg to differ.

Joshua: Is there something I should know about Attila (apart from he's a bad motherfucker?)
Cynthia: Yeah, filmmakers can't decide on how to spell his name.
Oh, Magic Schwartz's Raquetball Fighter should be Racquetball.

Here's something to sink your fangs into.

Fright Night (1985)

Jerry goes bat-shit crazy and tears into Peter's cheek

But like JCVD, the great 'Vampire Killer' possesses something we don't.

The power of self-healing.

Fright Night Part II

Sequel states William Ragsdale's character is Charlie.

Rewind to original.

Charley 'oh so cool' Brewster.

And there's more.

Pyrotechniques?
There's no such fucking word.
But pyrotechnics rings a bell.

Fright Night (2011)

Colin Farrell was a decent replacement for Chris Sarandon (who cameos as Jay Dee and bitten by his successor), but McLovin was totally miscast at Evil Ed and don't even get me started on Peter Vincent.

Tom Holland did indeed write, but also directed original.

(Sigh).

Fright Night 2: New Blood

Remake's 2013 direct-to-video sequel used all three films as template, resurrected Evil Ed and changed surname from Thompson to Bates.

Title card states Fright Night 2.

But.

Bloodless end credits includes subtitle.

Please drive a stake through my heart.

Die Hard

EVERYBODY knows this one.

Before it all kicks off, McClane wears a white vest

Fact remains, but after dropping down from vent.

Top has turned green.

There is NO explanation, and magic trick has gone down in cinema folklore.

Yippee Ki Yay, [censored].

Holly's surname is initially Gennaro.

But when selected.

Nakatomi's directory transforms name into Gennero.

Technology eh?

When fleeing from the FBI (who understandably confuse him for a baddie), John jumps to safety.  Unfortunately, he's clearly wearing a safety shoe.

And just before Hans blows the the roof.

Yup, super cop is barefoot again.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

Franchise rapidly went downhill from here, and never recovered.

Opening narration states:

"My name is John Connor. They tried to murder me before I was born. When I was 13, they tried again.

Let's rewind to Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

Computer confirms troubled delinquent is 10.

Ironically, Edward Furlong was 13 at the time.

Did they get confused?

In dialogue, he says that 'Cyberdyne was took out over 10 years ago'.

Film is confirmed to be set between 24-25 June 2004.

As T2 took place in 1995, boom time occurred at least 9 years ago.

In this timeline, Linda Hamilton's character died of leukaemia shortly before the 'original' Judgment Day.

Sarah Connor
1959 - 1997
No fate but what we make

The Terminator took place in May 1984 and because Silberman reveals Sarah is 29 in T2, she was brought into this world in 1965.

Yes I'm fully aware that casket only contained weapons.

Here's some nonsense from the T-X.

Primary Target guidlines initialized and TX protocol requests aditional buffer channels.
Running analysis.
Analysis complete.
Auto-display result.
Spelling mismatch.

Jose Barerra also goes under the alias of Barrera.

HA HA HA!

Now it's Arnie's turn.

Shoes: No match
Shins: No match
Thigh: 12567
Breifs: 68344
Enough already.

Probabilty 99%
Proceed to probability of mistake - 100%

Shit gets better.

Assessement (frowns) compile.
Fit prability (what?) 99.9%

Don't quite get these final two.

AbORT

AUTHORIZEd

Why are b and d the only letters in lower case?

"Talk to the hand."

Cast Away

Robert Zemeckis' impressive survival drama borrows much from Daniel Defoe's Robinson Crusoe.

Chuck drags Albert Miller's body ashore and takes a peek inside wallet.

Driving licence confirms he was born in 1949.

Okay.

But Chuck carves 1950 on makeshift grave.

Wilson, I'm sorry.  WILSSSSSONNNNN!!!!

Street Fighter¹

¹ntbcw The Street Fighter (1974) or Hard Times (1975), initially released in the UK as The Streetfighter.

Gotta laugh.

Wes Studi's Sagat wears eyepatch over left eye.

Curious.

Prior to the events of Street Fighter (1987), Sagat's right eye was gouged out in his fight with Go Hibiki.

Miscellany

Fade to Black (1980)
Night of the Living Dead was released in 1968, not 1978.

Followed
MYSTERY #5: 73 UNEXPLAINED SUICIDES
Of the numerous techniques described on the Hotel Lennox property, 'stabbings in stomaches' raises eyebrows.
Not stomachs?
Of course not, as that would be correct.

While mind is still fresher than a retro daisy.

Wonder Woman 1984
Near the beginning, amusement arcade features Rampage and Operation Wolf.
Games weren't released until 1986 and 1987 respectively.

Pixels

Like Patrick Jean's 2010 short of same name² travesty was based on, 'sprites' are composed of voxels (3D), not pixels (2D).

²Disturbingly similar to Raiders of the Lost Arcade (segment from Futurama episode Anthology of Interest II).

During 1982 Worldwide Video Arcade Championships, onlooker mimics Crane kick.
The Karate Kid wasn't released until 1984.

LCD monitors didn't exist in 1982, but futuristic technology replacing CRT screens was done deliberately to make shooting easier, as if not synched correctly, cameras would record a rolling image with line. 

Another example.

Captain Marvel (2019)
Colourful outing is largely set in 1995, but this restored cabinet (a mistake in itself) of Street Fighter II: Champion Edition also houses a LCD monitor.

Okay, back to shit storm.

Invading aliens representing Tetris (1984) and Paperboy (1985) is obviously impossible.

Fair enough, it's never explicitly stated when time capsule was launched into space, but because I actively despise this film - I really don't care.

If filming CRTs without glare is so difficult to achieve, then how come hilariously bad mockbuster of Jumanji: The Next Level did such a sterling job?

The Final Level: Escaping Rancala
Rather coincidentally, SF II: CE appears again.

Image looks pretty 'clear' to me.

Home version was misleadingly retitled Jurassic Island.

Despite what box art would have you believe, there is no fucking T-Rex, or any dinosaurs for that matter.

Until next time.