Thursday, 31 March 2016

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - The scoop and digest

I Am Legend featuring fake superimposed logo as in-joke at the expense of screenwriter Akiva Goldsman has for some reason, achieved legendary status.

An early draft script was written but as film obviously never got made, was wound up.

In fact, several were cancelled, including Batman v Superman: Asylum.

Back in 1997, Goldsman penned Batman & Robin - one of the worst films of all time.

Moving on.

Zack Snyder follows up his 2013 reboot Man of Steel as both capes share live action for the first time.

Ben Affleck - Bruce Wayne/Batman
Henry Cavill - Clark Kent/Superman
Jesse Eisenberg - Lex Luthor
Amy Adams - Lois Lane
Jeremy Irons - Alfred
Gal Gadot - Wonder Woman/Diana Prince

From Bruce's point of view, Superman's destructive battle with General Zod is played out.

18 months later, not all of Metropolis can forgive and forget collateral damage illegal alien caused.

Kryptonite is recovered from Indian Ocean which Lex Luthor intends to use as a biological weapon.

During a fundraiser, Bruce uses memory stick to download data from LexCorp's mainframe and learns about Lex's plans.

Superman attends a Congressional hearing at U.S Capitol to explain previous exploits and boom time claims the lives of many.

Of course nobody suspects Lex and boy in blue goes missing.

Batman creates spear and armoured suit from green mineral in preparation to attack Superman.

Meanwhile, using his own DNA and Kryptonian technology, Lex gives Zod's corpse a new lease of life.

Lex tells Superman unless the head of Batman is brought, his adoptive mother dies.

The moment we've been waiting for:

Son of Krypton vs Bat of Gotham.

An exhausted Batman nearly kills Superman with pointed object but instead, elects to rescue rival's mother from Russian stronghold.

Superman confronts Lex whose monstrous ace up villainous sleeve is born.

Or put another way:

"Your Doomsday."

Even with the help of Prince wearing fancy dress costume, nothing really works, as the bastard thrives on absorbing energy.

They require something capable of weakening Kryptonian cells.

Ohhhh...

Superman simultaneously retrieves spear and fishes out Lois from submerged area.

Does he need to launch into space and turn back time, a la Christopher Reeve?

Nah, she's cool.

Spear penetrates otherwise invincible chest and monster's bony protrusions secures double K.O.

Batman visits a now shaven-headed Lex inside prison and warns he'll be watching his every move.

Darkseid is coming.

Who?

Complete with insignia engraved on coffin, Metropolis honours deceased by holding protracted funeral.

I know - embarrassing.

A more private affair takes place in Smallville and Bruce informs Prince recruiting a team is essential to protect the world from Luthor's retaliation.

Just before credits roll, soil levitates six feet under.

Analysis

Overdue, overblown and hugely disappointing, hype fails to match expectation.

Plagued by uninteresting character development, convoluted plot covers far too much.

Stupid or not, scrap is fairly well orchestrated but more one-sided than great white shark against wounded seal.

However, by far the dumbest thing is Batman suddenly deciding not to finish off Superman, just because his mother shares the same name.

BULLSHIT!

Nuke obsessed finale compounds disorganised chaos and who should end boss remind us of?

Lord of the Rings cave troll? Ninja Turtle?

Maybe and probably, but no - he's the fucking Abomination of The Incredible Hulk.

Singing positive notes, Ben Affleck makes a great caped crusader and Jeremy Irons' brief input is smoother than whisky sipped.

Eisenberg adopting the approach of mad scientist?

Was Zack Snyder smoking the same drugs as Craig Gillespie when casting Christopher Mintz-Plasse and David Tennant in the Fright Night remake?

Definitely.

As for Michael Shannon, he's a little stiff.

References/Cameos

Original scenario inserts slices of Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns (face off and Superman feeling the brunt of nuclear missile) and The Death of Superman (Doomsday and Superman killing each other).

1994 SNES/Mega Drive scrolling brawler The Death and Return of Superman took several steps further by including playable clones.

'Hahaha Joke's On You Batman' refs second Robin Jason Todd and  story A Death in the Family.

Folders containing videos of Cyborg/Victor Stone and Aquaman/Arthur Curry are Justice League appetizers.

Vision of apocalyptic future, Parademons (Darkseid's minions), Omega symbol and The Flash/Barry Allen emerging from time portal chatting shit about Lois sets up something that may never come to cinematic fruition.

"Am I too early?"

I don't know mate, are you?

In the same dream sequence, Superman unmasks and kills Batman.

Titles show Bruce's parents murdered and whether intended or not, is much the same as Tim Burton's 1989 Batman, right down to Martha's broken pearl necklace.

Next up in extended universe is Suicide Squad.

Should be...

We'll see.

Sunday, 27 March 2016

10 Cloverfield Lane - The scoop and digest

Film titles bearing specific address are something of a novelty, so this joins a pretty exclusive club.

Ignoring Jump Street, the only ones I can think of are 5150 Elm's Way and 388 Arletta Avenue.

Maybe somebody can do better?

John Goodman - Howard
Mary Elizabeth Winstead - Michelle
John Gallagher, Jnr - Emmett

During reports of a citywide blackout, Michelle is forced off the road and knocked unconscious.

She awakes in an underground bunker and informed by Howard that because of a nuclear and/or chemical outbreak, contaminated air has killed everybody.

We soon meet Emmett who broke arm by forcing entry.

Michelle is understandably apprehensive and bottles Howard during delicious meal.

Her escape is halted when a not so hot looking woman hammers on glass.

Maybe the big guy wasn't chatting shit?

A tremor from above causes air filtration to break down and lady pants is forced to reset system.

Before leaving ventilation shaft, she notices 'HELP' scratched on window and finding bloodied earring (recognised from photo of Howard's daughter Megan), Emmett confirms polaroid is actually of missing high school girl.

They agree it's time to get the fuck out of dodge.

Did you know perchloric acid serves as precursor to ammonium perchlorate, which is used to fuel satellites?

Howard certainly does, and unless somebody talks, bodies are gonna sizzle faster than burgers on barbeque.

Like a silly billy, Emmett accepts full responsibility and is subsequently shot dead.

Honesty is the best policy?

My ass!

Unstable doomsday fanatic admits to smashing into Michelle as he couldn't allow perfect replacement for estranged daughter to get away.

She repays hospitality by spilling barrel's contents on Howard and escapes wearing makeshift radiation suit.

Quite understandably, Howard's a bit pissed off.

Michelle manages to evade energetic pursuit and secures freedom.

Realising air is breathable, a biological alien craft approaches.

You have got to be kidding?

Howard is killed when electrical fire triggers explosive device inside barn and parked truck interests extraterrestrial presence.

Molotov cocktail destroys monster and foot is firmly put down.

She can either evacuate to Baton Rouge, or join those savvy with medical or combat training at Houston.

The latter option is chosen and lightning engulfed clouds illuminate another patrolling mothership.

Related yes, but this isn't a sequel to 2008 monster hit.

Interestingly, the eagle eyed will note for the briefest of moments camera does shake during alien attack.

Suffice to say, anthology will continue.

As per original, J.J. Abrams helps produce and Dan Trachtenberg's directorial debut delivers psychological chills and sci-fi thrills.

Goodman puts in a frightening shift and Winstead completely convinces.

In stark contrast, Gallagher, Jnr's performance couldn't help a hangman tighten his noose.

Before shit hits the proverbial fan, Michelle, Emmett and Howard make the best of a bad situation by having fun and games.

It's both inspired and refreshing to use the original version of I Think We're Alone by Tommy James and the Shondells, as unlike Ted, hearing Tiffany's velvet tones wouldn't work.

Anyway, sequence completely rips off principle from Dawn of the Dead.

Megan's favourite film is John Hughes' coming-of-age classic Pretty in Pink.

Not Ferris Bueller?

Awww.

Friday, 18 March 2016

16 bits, 2 bytes - Eighth Event

Gun Force, Bits Studios 1992

Fancy relaxing on the Battle Fire Engulfed Terror Island?

No? Don’t blame you.

This insipid arcade conversion is plagued with slowdown and generous flicker.

Graphics are okay, but woefully animated.  Also, gotta love the inappropriate use of green and brown.

Music is a particular highlight as accompanying ‘beat’ sounds like a fucking telephone jingle.

Also known as Geo Storm, much improved 1994 sequel was Irem’s swansong and should be regarded as Metal Slug's predecessor.

F-Zero, Nintendo 1990/1991

Put your futuristic foot down and bomb through an unprecedented classic.

Like Pilotwings, it was among the first to show off our friend Mode 7.

After selecting league (Knight, King or Queen), choosing Beginner, Standard or Expert difficulty is obligatory.

Master class is unlocked after beating whichever league in Expert.

Do so, and Captain Falcon gives a special ‘thank you’.

Bishop and Pawn circuits appeared in GBA outing Maximum Velocity, but other chess piece Castle (aka Rook), never featured in any entry.

Going briefly off track.

Specific to Leon’s A and B scenario in Resident Evil 2, Bishop, King, Rook and Knight plugs are used to unlock sewer's mechanical lock.

Push and shove puzzle in Gamecube prequel Resident Evil 0 must end in checkmate.

Without much success, Richie and Eddie play a game in superb Bottom episode Culture.

Knight plays Death in 1957 b/w classic The Seventh Seal.

Housed inside the Gemaldegalerie, Berlin, The Game of Chess (circa 1508), is a painting by Dutch master Lucas van Leyden.

Serial killer thrillers Knight Moves and 5150 Elm's Way use very different strategies.

Holly gets erased after losing to fake persona Queeg (title of said Red Dwarf episode).

Finishing up.

To avoid hover car going boom, I strongly advise not bumping fellow competitors, nudging track side or falling off road's edge.

Providing coloured stretch is hit, a spaceship will kindly refill energy.

Gameplay is smoother than a baby's bum, graphics are great and music is sensational.

In short - it's still fucking awesome.

Harvest Moon, Amccus/Pack-In-Video 1997

Like crops watered, this grew into a huge franchise.

Farming Simulator threatens the same success...

(Frowns).

You must help a cute welly wearing chap single-handedly manage a village ranch.

What do livestock need?

That’s right – a meadow.

But first, you need to buy blades of green.

Once got, cows can be milked and showing affection increases production.

They can fall foul of disease, so best keep grass healthy.

Feeding chickens should persuade even the laziest to lay and incubating speeds up the hatching process.

Ploughing field before planting crops is wise as seeds tend not to germinate unless sowed in the correct season.

Makes sense, right?

To assist, television displays weather forecasts.

Remember what Neil said when The Young Ones became Sick?

“We sow the seed, nature grows the seed, and then, we eat the seed.”

Classic.

Equipment ranging from axe, hammer, brush, hoe, watering can and sickle are used to gather materials or instigate a situation.

Signboards provide tips and chatting with residents reaps horticultural insight.

Fancy winning some fabulous prizes?

Well I suggest you keep an eye out for festivals appearing on calendar.

Agricultural perseverance is key to making a mint.

Graphics look great and upbeat music appropriately sickens.

I never really got into this or any other futuristic entry, but praise must be heaped upon something completely different.

Super Mario World, Nintendo 1990/1991

Originally subbed Super Mario Bros. 4 in Japan, this remains arguably ‘the perfect game’.

Princess Toadstool has gone missing in Dino Land.

Surprise surprise.

It is notable for introducing lovabale dinosaur Yoshi who if dismounted, runs away like the bastard clappers.

Before reaching Bowser’s castle, expect mustachioed heroes to conquer Donut Plains, Vanilla Dome, Forest of Illusion and Chocolate Island.

Ghost Houses become tougher nuts to crack and finding the ‘true’ exit reveals new areas on map.

Reaching his castle and defeating Bowser is fairly easy.

However, opening up a secret Star Road in Star World should be your ultimate goal.

Within the Special Zone, expect design to be more vicious.

Stages are quoted as being Gnarly, Tubular, Way Cool, Groovy, Mondo, Outrageous and Funky.

Prefer Autumn over Spring?

Completing all will grant seasonal wish.

Many enemies now look different, but behaviour remains identical.

T. Takemoto's Kaizo ROM hacks ticked every sadistic box imaginable.

Unique to Game Boy, Super Mario Land began in 1989 and had space freak Tatanga kidnapping Daisy instead of Peach.

To add bizarre spice, Sarasaland featured Gradius-esque shmup stages.

1992 sequel 6 Golden Coins introduced Wario, who became protagonist in Warioland: Super Mario Land 3.

Super Mario All-Stars, Nintendo 1993

We got 1985 original, The Lost Levels*, Super Mario 2** and Super Mario 3.

Just to confuse, original had two separate sequels.

*Originally released in Japan as Super Mario 2 for Famicom Disk System in 1986.
**First came to NES in 1988 and called Super Mario USA in Japan.

Sound and vision are happy to receive new licks of paint, but what puts mushroom on top of shell is being able to save.

Super Mario Deluxe is easily forgotten, but came to Game Boy Colour in 1999.

Challenge levels aside, core is essentially 1985 original and The Lost Levels.

‘You vs. Boo’ involved pipping trademark enemy to respective post and touching whichever block on redesigned stage affects oncoming barrier.

It sounds boring, but reality begs to differ.

Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island, Nintendo 1995

Host machine's most technically impressive game prequels Mario World and presumably ignores all that went before.

One dark night, stork carrying two babies runs into trouble when the evil Magikoopa Kamek smatches (Luigi).

The other (Mario), falls into the open sea.

Amusingly, he miraculously lands on Yoshi’s back who at the time, is taking a stroll on dry land.

Kamek sends his Toadies to search the island and find missing bambino.

Will infants ever receive parental hug?

Mission start.

Using generic relay system, stages are completed by passing bundle of fun onto next coloured Yoshi.

If baby falls off back, Mario will be encased in bubble and 10 second countdown begins.  If 0 is reached, bye bye baby.

Thrown egg or tongue lashing will cease incessant wailing.

Giving Chomp Rock a roll destroys everything in its path and whether spitting out enemy or throwing rotten egg, aiming cursor ensures greater accuracy.

Yoshi can even morph into helicopter.

Flipping cards, fruit machines, scratch cards and roulette bonus games give chance to earn extra lives and items.

Kamek's magic paint ensures bosses are supersized encounters.

Instead of Young Master Luke, Kamek refers to 'King Koopa' as Young Master Bowser.

Does this make Kamek Threepio?

After failing to get his way of riding on 'gween' donkey, kidnapper does his thing and final fight is taken outside.

If you're a right meanie, you'll bring him back down to size.

Stork safely delivers twins to parents and signs off with the confident prediction:

‘Heroes are born!’

Despite swapping plumber for Yoshi, this plays pretty much the same.

Mixing pastel and crayon, forests, waterfalls, caves, snow storms, castles and jungles boast relentless quality.

Lighting, transparency and scaling special effects apply further gloss, with Super FX Chip 2 increasing polygon power.

Despite frame rate and numerous graphical cutbacks, same enhancement chip made Doom look amazing.

GBA chose to remake four from six to form the Super Mario Advance series.

Mario 2 (SMA - 2001)
Mario World (SMA 2 - 2002)
Yoshi’s Island (Yoshi’s Island: SMA 3 - 2002)
Mario 3 (SMA 4 – 2003)

Original and The Lost Levels apparently stank.

Yoshi's Island DS was a direct sequel to SNES original.

Lethal Enforcers, Konami 1993

Derogatory police slang made photo-realistic arcade controversial and attract mode was inspired by Magnum Force's title sequence.

Probably costing £50+, this came bundled with the Justifier Lightgun.

As no other games were compatible, I don’t see how price tag can be 'justified'.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Colt Python was later redesigned for use on Mega Drive, Mega CD and PS1.

Missions of numerous scenes are naturally populated with criminals and suicidal civvies.

Boys with bigger toys and armoured vehicles provide boss challenges.

Apart from standard pea shooter, automatic, magnum and shotgun can be acquired.

Digitised chars and intro screens translate pretty well, albeit with extra grain and jerk.

Arcade’s blood is predictably removed but what about...

You missed me [blank]
Eat lead [blank]

So ‘pig’ and ‘copper’ are edited out from respective taunts.

Wild West themed sequel/prequel Gun Fighters came to Mega Drive and Mega CD.

PS1 owners could enjoy both on a single disc.

Streamlining gameplay and ditching actors, the third remained exclusive to insert coin.

American Gladiators, Gametek 1992

As title suggests, events are based on the US series that began in 1989 and ended in 1997.

Strangely, the UK equivalent also lasted for eight years (1992 – 2000).

We all know Howard Scott Warshaw's E.T. was literally the pits.

Others lowering the bar:

MindJack, Ride to Hell: Retribution, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (NES), Aliens: Colonial Marines, Shaq Fu, Superman 64, Big Rigs, Tongue of the Fatman, Arthur's Quest: Battle for the Kingdom and Friday the 13th (NES).

They however are God compared to this.

Group of assholes proudly present THE WORST FUCKING VIDEO GAME EVER MADE.

As request is coated with sugar, I'll explain why.

Controls for each appalling mini-game rarely work and if by chance a miracle occurs, roadkill reacts faster.

It's that BAD, you'd have better luck using the fucking Power Glove.

Your joypad isn't broken.  I repeat.  YOUR JOYPAD ISN'T BROKEN.

Expect NO sound effects and offensive solitary tune loops more times than a rollercoaster.

Taking a high dosage of morphine will improve mind-blowing graphics, otherwise...

Amiga snorted the same shit, but sounded superior.

Featuring amusing death scream after Joust, 1991 NES version just about shades a truly despicable bunch.

Of course, that's hardly an achievement.

Wednesday, 16 March 2016

The Witch - The scoop and digest

Like Corin Hardy's The Hallow, this premiered at Sundance last year.

Ralph Ineson - William
Anya Taylor-Joy - Thomasin
Kate Dickie - Katherine
Harvey Scrimshaw - Caleb
Ellie Grainger - Mercy
Lucas Dawson - Jonas

In 1630, a court finds a Puritan family guilty of crimes against the Commonwealth and banishes them from Christian plantation.

I'm pretty sure reason given is 'prideful deceit'.

Building farm on the edge of ominous wood, Katherine gives birth to another child.

Thomasin plays peek-a-boo with baby Samuel who mysteriously vanishes.

Kidnapper is soon revealed to be a witch and after murdering him off screen, blood and fat creates flying ointment which she rubs herself in.

Mercy speaks of the witch of the woods and Thomasin cruelly teases sister by declaring herself as thee.

With winter likely to consume harvest, William and Caleb go hunting but gun misfires allowing hare to escape.

Twins are seen playing with goat called Black Phillip and Katherine blames Thomasin for Samuel's disappearance.

Thomasin and Caleb sneak out in search for fruit and when same hare shows up again, dog gives chase.

Does mutt survive?

Put it this way, I don't think he'll be chasing sticks anytime soon...

Caleb stumbles upon cabin and witch disguised as a beautiful woman seduces.

In order to protect Thomasin, William admits to Katherine he stole silver cup and sold it for supplies.

A naked and clearly unwell Caleb returns and condition worsens.

His convulsions are apparently transferred to twins and prayer forces bloodied apple to be brought up.

It seems spell is lifted but after declaring his love to God, Caleb dies.

Twins add fuel to fire by accusing Thomasin of witchcraft, who retaliates by counter-accusing.

After all, it is they who speak to livestock.

Witch quenches thirst by guzzling on goat's blood and Katherine hallucinates Caleb holding Samuel.

She begins breastfeeding but in reality, raven viciously pecks at exposed mammary gland.

Ouch!

The following morning, William is horrified to find goats bled dry, twins missing and Thomasin bloodstained.

A few butts later, Black Phillip unexpectedly kills William.

Katherine attempts to strangle daughter, but is stabbed until dead.

Thomasin chats with Black Phillip who understands words falling off English tongue.

In humanoid form, Satan asks "Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?"

Without much hesitation, soul is sold presumably on the pages of Grimoire textbook.

She wanders naked deep inside woods and witnesses the ritualistic dance of Witches' Sabbath.

Coven begins to levitate and wearing a wicked grin, Thomasin joins them.

Robert Eggers directorial debut is a chilling tale of smoldering tension and sustained fear.

Adapted directly from archaic dialect, his fantastic script is delivered with incredible gusto from all concerned.

More often than not, youngsters in this type of film irritate.

Have no fear - performances are brilliant.

Without spilling much blood, imagery genuinely disturbs and the last half hour or so cannot be missed.

However, the real star is pure bleating evil.

'Charlie' was reportedly a nightmare to train and extremely dangerous.

Ineson's ribs suffered the brunt of serrated horns and spent the rest of a five-week shoot on painkillers.

Anyway, hope vicious bastard was given fresh grass to munch.

Comparing this to Jennifer Kent's nightmarish fairytale The Babadook isn't unjust and if that's not a compliment, I don't know what is.

Friday, 11 March 2016

The Forest - The scoop and digest

Let's go through what Suicide Forest at Mount Fuji's base has already inspired.

First premiering in 2010, Forest of the Living Dead has cover girl come back as a supernatural entity, hell bent on wreaking revenge on those who helped ex-boyfriend dump her like a sack of potatoes.

2015 drama The Sea of Trees stars Matthew McConaughey and British hottie Naomi Watts.

There's also 2013 TV horror film Grave Halloween (re-released in 2016 as Dead Forest).

Oh, Shawn4Ever was a 2012 horror short.

Wanna know something else?

Nice.

Incredibly rubbish 2004 monster feature Creature Unknown was repackaged as The Forest in 2007.

Let's see how main event fares and unfolds.

Natalie Dormer - Sara/Jess
Taylor Kinney - Aiden
Yukiyoshi Ozawa - Michi

Sara gets a call from police informing that missing twin sister Jess has been spotted entering Aokigahara.

She meets journalist Aiden who agrees to help and also throws in tour guide Michi for good measure.

Not too long into ill-advised search, something compels Sara to leave the path and geezers reluctantly follow.

They find Jess's tent, but we can't go home yet because she's gone for a walk.

Please heed Michi's warning.

No matter how bad, ignore whatever you see.  It's not real.

So darkness falls and we're bracing ourselves for some intense horror and grotesque imagery.

Bear with me.

Err, still waiting.

Moving on...

Day breaks and Sara notices Jess's picture on Aiden's phone.

Is setting playing dirty tricks with mind?

Blah blah blah later, Sara clumsily falls into a pit where teenage Japanese girl seen during the night turns all Yurei (ghosts said to be angry at their own deaths).

No prizes for guessing who dangles rope and pulls paranoid ass up to safety.

They stumble across a cabin and Aiden fails in fixing broken radio.

After 'Jess' passes note urging sister to kill, a struggle ensues and Aiden gets the point.

Aww shucks, guess article won't be published.

Never mind pal, it was shit anyway.

Basement door creeks open and in the company of young Jess, dead dad attacks Sara, who manages to escape without too much trouble.

Around this time, the real Jess is seen alive and well.

Sara realises hacking at hallucination only succeeded in slitting wrists.

Beneath where she stands, numerous Yurei drag her to hell and search party escorts Jess to safety.

Michi observes Sara's screaming ghost, ending our misery.

Great idea, top notch setting, but rubbish application.

The same could be said for As Above, So Below.

Jason Zada's film isn't the slightest bit scary and boo moments are stunningly predictable.

I guess he misunderstood the whole concept and looked at horror through a different lens.

Small screen TV star Dormer is game, but Kinney's performance is so fucking wooden, you could use emotion to light a fire.

Flexing referencing muscles...

Split into twelve epic parts, Flame and Shadow is a collection of poems by Sara Teasdale and probably American lyricist's most celebrated work.

Teasdale committed suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills.

Jess owns a copy of said book and we're informed she failed ending it all by using the same method.

For shits and giggles, 1993 sequel Prince of Persia 2 is subbed The Shadow and the Flame.

Why?

Nearing its conclusion, prince's 'shadow' must consume the 'flame', with death being the only solution.

Now that's a head fuck.

Sunday, 6 March 2016

A tasty bruschetta of video game miscellany that mix nicely with others

Hope you've had no more than a snack, because you're gonna be more stuffed than a plush teddy bear.

Unless stated, all screens from the arcade.

Supreme soundalikes.

Gan (Rival Schools) and Gen (Street Fighter)


Frantic (1988) and Frantix


Siouxsie and the Banshees - Hyaena and Hyenas (2011)


The The provided the soundtrack for Gerard Johnson's 2014 British police corruption thriller Hyena, which are also tracks by R.E.M. and Editors.

Chrona - Black Blood Child (Soul Eater Manga) and Crono* (Chrono Trigger)


*I took the cheeky liberty of ignoring 1995 SNES original and snapped protagonist from NTSC only Final Fantasy Chronicles.

Valgas (Power Stone end boss) and Vulgus*


*Capcom's first ever game came in 1984 and was impossible to complete.

Who the fuck needs purgatory?

Also, title isn't spaceship, but a rock surrounded by smaller varieties.

Rax (Eternal Champions, Mega Drive) and Rox


Seeger (An Officer and a Gentleman) and Sieger (Samurai Shodown II, Neo Geo)


Loopy lookalikes.

Biters Part 1 (e-novel) vs Southern Gothic


Willow Rose (novel) vs Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood (re-issue)


Billy Elliot vs Moby - Play


Jessie J - Sweet Talker vs Mariah - Number 1's


Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation vs Noah


Both are very similar to Max Payne 3.


The Following Season 3 vs Fahrenheit (Indigo Prophecy in North America)


Posters casting alternative persona.

Saving Mr. Banks and Warlock


The earliest example I know of is The Omen.


Exodus* vs Future of the Left - The Plot Against Common Sense


*2005 film War of the Planets is repackaged for 2013.

Cue some extremely dodgy shit.

Santa's Slay vs Cabal


Santa becomes Uzi screaming psychopath.

Fleet of approaching choppers is archetypal of war, but I wonder if artist was inspired by Apocalypse Now?


Why do I sit on my helmet?

So one doesn't get his balls blown off.

Tormented vs Queen - Sheer Heart Attack


Darkest Day vs Resistance 2 (PS3)


Not forgetting The Pool.


Lady Gaga used this poster to promote single Applause for her then upcoming album Artpop.

Maybe she rips off and/or parodies the poster of Demi Moore film Striptease.


Who knows?

Unintended or not, Selena Gomez album Revival is a blatant copy of 'something'.


Dead Heat vs Double Dragon


Cult 1988 action zomcom also starred Vincent Price as Arthur P. Loudermilk in one of cinema legend's final roles.

We know the Lee brothers as Billy and Jimmy, but tattoos refer to them as Spike and Hammer respectively.

Also, note hair colour and blue headbands.

The reality of 1987 classic begs to differ.


Hmmm.

Thanatomorphose* vs 1998 self-titled Queens of the Stone Age debut album


*Although circumstances differ, sex remains the reason for gradual decay in 2013 film Contracted: Phase I.  Equally disgusting sequel Phase II followed in 2015.

Going even further, It Follows plays a game of supernatural sex tig.

Now for the best of all...

The Fiery Furnaces - Remember vs The Strokes - Is This It


Both 'shapes' are incredibly similar.

Crazy fucking shit.

No doubts about these next two.

Turrican (Amiga/Atari ST) vs Manowar - Kings of Metal


Gauntlet (1985) vs The Destroyer* (Frank Frazetta 1971)


*Fantasy master created several pieces inspired by Robert E. Howard's pulp comic Conan the Barbarian.

When music goes (insert obvious blank here).

Deep Purple - Bananas and The Charlatans - Between 10th and the 11th


Dandy Warhols - Welcome to the Monkey House and The Velvet Underground & Nico


What do you get when you cross Rastan and Populous?

SNES classic Actraiser.

Fillmore features foe and cheerful ally.


Golden Axe: The Revenge of Death Adder
Grandmother Willow (Pocahontas)
Golem Wood (Midnight Wanderers area boss)
Capcom's 1991 arcade trilogy Three Wonders also comprised of Chariot and Don't Pull.
Boss name could be part referencing Tolkien.

Speaking of which.

Meriadoc 'Merry' Brandybuck and Frodo ride Treebeard as the Ents help attack Isengard in Peter Jackson's The Two Towers.
Finally.

Treant - Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow
Eye gouging is one of several illegal moves in UFC.

Unless the BBFC shits on bonfire, cinema knows no boundaries.

Jim turns superman in Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later.
When Robert Carlyle's Don acquires infection in 2007 sequel 28 Weeks, this is a direct reference to Frank's death from 2002 original.
Why won't they do 28 Months?
Assholes.
Halloween (2007)
Michael Myers (Tyler Mane) attacks Malcolm McDowell's Dr Loomis in Rob Zombie's admirable reimagining of John Carpenter's slasher classic.

He 'died' in not so good 2009 sequel and the next promises to take a new direction.
A bloodthirsty Crawler bites the big one in 2005 British horror classic The Descent.
Adding meat to name.

Burrower (The Suffering) and The Burrowers (2008)


Mary Norton's 1952 novel The Borrowers became live action in 1997, with Jim Broadbent and John Goodman joining under the floorboards fun.

While spending time in the dog house...

Doghouse (2009)
Zombie comedy stars Danny fucking Dire.
Say no more.
Chuckie Egg 2, A&F 1985 (Various)
Multi-screen arcade adventure challenged hero Henhouse Harry to find ingredients and create unlicensed Kinder Surprise.
Ignoring illogical poetry, the original Silent Hill can be unnecessarily fussy.
For example, you can't just examine the dog house and get house key.
Instead, Cheryl's discarded sketchbook pages must be 'read' before it magically appears.
Cone Head (Undercover Cops boss) and Coneheads (1993 feature length spin-off from Saturday Night Live TV show)


More, more and more.

Baldhead (Guilty Gear)
Arnold 'Bonehead' Rimmer (Red Dwarf).
Timothy 'Tinhead' O'Leary (Brookside).
Doug Bradley's Pinhead tears souls apart in Clive Barker's Hellraiser series.
In the original, he was only known as Lead Cenobite and wasn't named so until 'acceptable' 1988 sequel.
I was never a fan of Silent Hill: The Arcade, but iconic villain Pyramid Head surrounded by the glow of glorious orange is absolutely stunning.
Official blurb on The Keeper as we discover The Evil Within.
"A creature created from a blend of Ruvik's final memories before he was dismembered and his fury at having his research stolen from his safe.  Anyone who approaches the safe is killed and their severed head added to those in the sack."
I call him Box Head, or a pain in the fucking ass.
Suedehead and Badhead are tracks by Morrissey and Blur respectively.

R-Type boss Bronco was rubbish.


To extend.

Bronco Billy (1980) and Bianco Billy (Viewtiful Joe enemy)


Alligator Hunt was a very strange 1994 Cabal clone by Spanish developer Gaelco.


We assume faces are creators.
Tokyo Gore Police (2008)
Horrific mutation Alligator Girl had plenty of bite.
Alligator Sky and Alligator Blood are tracks by Owl City and Bring Me the Horizon respectively.

Alligator is an album by The National and also a 1980 cult horror classic.

David Bowie opens up Moonage Daydream with 'I'm an alligator' and The Alligator People is a 1959 sci-fi horror.

Chatting to whoever via Codec is a common occurrence in Metal Gear Solid.

Game Boy Colour exclusive Ghost Babel is one of those forgotten mammals.
Capcom stole communicative principle for Resident Evil 4.


SNK cooked this up for Genan in 1994 Neo Geo sequel Samurai Shodown II.


Did they rob cauldron idea from Irem's Undercover Cops?


Mortal Kombat may have popularised digitised graphics, but Atari's Pit Fighter was the first video game to composite real actors into gameplay.

What 'could' happen after the cry of Finish Him/Her cemented famous controversy.


One of the original's best was Kano's heart rip and achieved by inputting the combination of back, down, forward, LP.
Matt was hurt by 'uber' licker and began to mutate at the end of first Resident Evil film.  He was promptly placed into the Nemesis program.

Major Cain (Thomas Kretschmann) utters the same magic words during the Alice vs Nemesis farce in 2004 sequel Apocalypse.
I remain skeptical about this one.

You are given the choice to 'finish' Bruckner in the Game Boy Advance interpretation of Turok Evolution.
Coincidence?

Boneface based artwork for Queens of the Stone Age album Like Clockwork on 1931 Dracula poster.


But wait.

Edith Brennan clinging to Lilly in Mama is eerily similar.
"Don't call me babe!" is a tagline linked to Barb Wire.


Part of Mai Shiranui's victory quote in Fatal Fury 2 has some bearing.


"No one calls me babe without paying for it."

Maximus can be name associated with...

War Gods and Summer Camp* (C64)


*Also returned for sequel Winter Camp.

 Tangled (2010)
Gladiator (2000)
"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE Emperor, Marcus Aurelius.  Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife.  And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."
What's that coming over the hill? Is it a Monster?

Frank the Monster - Oliver Smith (Hellraiser)
Sean Chapman plays Frank 'the human' in original and sequel.
Steve the Monster - Resident Evil Code: Veronica (Various)
Dreamcast owners had every reason to beam with delight as this was the first to be released on a non-Sony system.
Providing original was completely ignored, update Code: Veronica X was worth buying.
It's time for Medusa to lose her head

In 1981 classic Clash of the Titans, Perseus (Harry Hamlin) uses stony glare to destroy the otherwise invulnerable Kraken.
Ray Harryhausen's effects will never get old, at least not to me.
Perseus with the head of Medusa - Benvenuto Cellini
Medusa - Caravaggio
Head of Medusa - Peter Paul Rubens
As seen in God of War PS2 original.
Castlevania: Lament of Innocence (PS2)
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 (PS3/360/PC)
She moves similar to sister Euryale.
Myth (C64)
Okay, it may look like a load of blocks but animation astounded.

£9.99 doesn't sound like a lot, but back in 1989 - it was a small fortune.
Toy Shop Boys (PC Engine)
Sexy Parodius
Medusa are albums by Annie Lennox and less famously Trapeze.

Slasher movies conclude decapitation.

Intruder (1988)
Wolf Creek 2 (2013)
Shaving sucks, but is unfortunately one of life's necessities.

Maximo Park - Too Much Information (tongue) and The Mothers of Invention - Weasels Ripped My Flesh (cheek)


Shorned Sean/Hy Gene goes one extreme step further.


Food fighting back.

Shelled Michelle/Lobster Shelby and Dog Bites Boyd/Frank Footer


As human prepares to finish off Vanessa Undressed/Banana Anna, I audaciously link Renny Harlin's 1993 outdoor action classic Cliffhanger.


Frank (Ralph Waite) paints a banana eating a monkey (nature in reverse).
Scintillating stuff.

When entering the Earth's atmosphere, objects feel the brunt of aerodynamic heating.

Meet those with first-hand experience.

Blazing Star (Neo Geo)
Burning Soldier (3DO)
Assault Suits Valken (SNES)
Known as Cybernator in North America and Europe.
Darius Gaiden
Lost Planet 2 (PS3/360/PC)
You want film?

Okay.

Toy Story 2 (1999)
Gravity (2013)
Guillermo del Toro's 2002 sequel Blade II introduced nasty bastards called Reapers.

Fancy a snog?
Title sequence of Treehouse of Horror XXIV parodies.
To say the following weren't influenced is like saying we don't oxygen to breathe.

Deadstorm Pirates end boss
Doom 3 B.ig F.ucking G.un Edition
Will the Wraith and shit your pants atmosphere return in much anticipated reboot?

Let's hope so.
Based on Philip K. Dick short Second Variety, Screamers gained a cult following.
Effects in 2009 straight to video sequel The Hunting stood up well.
Resident Evil 4
Whether 2005 Gamecube original or HD remaster, it's all the same to U-3.
Whether mouth, eyes (or both), penultimate party piece will leave you in stitches.

Hanza - Ninja Scroll (1993)
Random victim - The Crazies (2010 remake)
Butterball - Hellraiser (1987)
First encountered inside Salazar's castle prison, Las Plagas present the blind and extremely dangerous Garrador.
Ring a bell? Oh never mind.
Shortly after solving the box in Hellbound: Hellraiser II, Tiffany (Imogen Boorman)  cannot resist exploring Hell and Carnival Arcade delivers psychological torment.
The Beatles say it's your Birthday.

If that applies at time of viewing - many happy returns.

No prizes for guessing where I'm going.

2012 sequel Silent Hill: Revelation based much on Silent Hill 3 and had Missionary (a guise of Claudia Wolf), duelling Highlander style with Pyramid Head.
What a great fucking idea.
Anyway, Happy Birthday Alessa.
Ken's Street Fighter Alpha 2 stage celebrates Eliza's birthday.
Note cosplay of Captain Commando and Morrigan of Darkstalkers fame.
No such occasion can be without candles on delicious dessert.

The Descent
Jessica is Sarah's dead daughter, confirming hallucination.
The Cake is a lie.
This was a triumph.

Come on guys, you know the lyrics...

See you next time.
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