Wednesday 29 August 2018

The Happytime Murders - The scoop and digest

Summary

In a world where humans and puppets co-exist, members of discontinued TV series The Happytime Gang are getting bumped off one by one.

Ex-cop turned private investigator Phil Philips (Bill Barretta) and former partner Detective Connie Edwards (Melissa McCarthy) are forced to put their differences aside and prevent further fluffshed.

Bilge

Can you hear that?

It's the sound of Jim Henson turning in his grave.

Son of Muppets legend Brian fails to exploit an interesting premise and result is nothing more than a vulgar, charmless shit storm.

For not delivering a single chuckle, Todd Berger's crass screenplay can 'fuck off', or go 'fuck itself'.

McCarthy goes through the usual motions and Elizabeth Banks is wasted as a sexy burlesque dancer.

Phil inevitably screws his client Sandra White (the killer), with sequence cumming to a desperate climax.

Octopus bizarrely milking a cow inside a sex shop sums despicable mess up.

As bad, if not worse than The Festival, I cast supreme calamity down to the bowels of cinematic hell.

Monday 27 August 2018

Resident Evil - Movies, comics and novels

Ahead of the highly anticipated remake of Resident Evil 2 (which could be the best game ever), I delve into infected archive and turn viral excitement up beyond several key cards.

Live action

Resident Evil (2002)

Created originally for film, Skynet-esque insane computer the Red Queen seals The Hive upon T-virus outbreak and murders everybody.

AI eventually became canon, as seen in The Umbrella Chronicles.
Alice's red dress was inspired by Res 2 debutante Ada Wong.


Zombie dog smashing through window is surely reffing arguably the greatest jump scare in video game history.
I don't mind admitting that it scared the SHIT out of me.
After one of the Hive's earliest experiments kills Spence*, Licker subsequently mutates and becomes 'end boss'.
*As in Spencer Mansion.

Undoubtedly the coolest thing about first film was laser hallway weapon system.


So much so... set-piece was copied.

Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil 6
Nearing climax, we get some really cute references.

Eye eye

Alice
Chris's eye was used for title screen.
Cover art for Zero Hour employed identical tactics.
Trend would of course continue.

Check this out.

The Dead Walk!
Day of the Dead (1985)
Below primary headline.

Horror In Raccoon!
More Victims Dead.
Censored b/w intro to 1996 original swapped gory images for the daily rag.
One more.

S.T.A.R.S Prepares For Major Assault
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

Largely based on Resident Evil 3: Nemesis, with other tidbits.

Sienna Guillory made a great fist of looking like her video game counterpart.


Nemesis


Matt Addison gives minigun a dance.
Same pea shooter can be seen adjacent to felled behemoth in Operation Raccoon City.
That game is fucking awesome, right?

HA HA HA!

Initially handcuffed to a chair, L.J. (Mike Epps) is released by Jill.
Note that broken restraint remains.
A la Billy Cohen (Resident Evil 0).
Res 3 was visually screwed.

Intro





Chopper goes boom



Nuke



Oh, opening cinematic of Code: Veronica was randomly raped too.



At one point, zombies even emerge from graveyard.

Innovation does not exist in this film, does it?

NO SENSEI.

Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)

In another tribute to Day of the Dead, zombie is domesticated, just like Bub.


For fabulous kicks.

The Dead Next Door
Infected crow sequence has the distinct feel of a certain Alfred Hitchcock classic.
The Birds
Dr. Isaacs

Laser hallway poops on claims of invincibility.
Carlos tries to run, tries to hide, but Jill's tentacled stalker breaks on through to the other side.
Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)

Pixel lifting continues.

This time, from the unimpressive Res 5.

Wesker


Iconic baddie first showed super human eyes in Code: Veronica.
Shades toss



Dog attack

Monsters which attack Alice literally have a split personality.
Mutts closely resemble the Adjule.
 Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)

Jill
 is first seen in Afterlife's mid-credits scene, and naturally, remains under Wesker's control.


Cerberus is absent for the first time and Alice meeting Ada re-enacts Leon bumping into said lady in Res 4.

Most interesting of all, in game or film, this is only time Leon meets Jill.

Not to be outdone, The Darkside Chronicles is the only game where Claire and Ada meet.

Piss take

Call sequence what you like, but it won't change my opinion.

Alice rescuing Becky



Ripley rescuing Newt



(I know Aliens is one of your favourite films, but surely this was done out of respect?)

Listen for fuck's sake, Alice finds a backpack covered in slime and Newt's locator is caked in identical substance.

We'll leave it there.

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)

Two words.

FUCKING TERRIBLE.

That is all.

CG movies

Biohazard 4D-Executer (2000)

Non-canon 20 minute short focuses around team searching for the mysterious Dr. Cameron.

Knee deep in serious shit.
Two-faced BITCH.
Unlike Milla Jovovich vehicles, the following take place in the same universe as games.

Resident Evil: Degeneration (2008)

Set between Res 4 and 5, and recreates how Claire and Leon first met in Res 2.

Maybe it's my imagination, but scene on fire reminds me...
...of how CG intro of Res 2 ends.
For light relief.

Claire defends herself with an umbrella.
Geddit?

Ha ha ha!

Curtis Miller closely resembles one of William Birkin's mutations in Res 2.

Originally debuting on 3DS, Revelations is also set in the same timeline.

Resident Evil: Damnation (2012)

Sequel to Degeneration and prequels Res 6.

Super Tyrant vs T-00

Mutation naturally censors groin.
Reborn and extremely angry.
Resident Evil: Vendetta (2017)

Set between Res 6 and 7.

Canonically at least, Rebecca returns for the first time since Res 0.

Opening sequence inside Mexican mansion mirrors original game.
It's oh so quiet...
Even today, Gamecube remake still looks great.
Sound effect that lab doors make in the university are the same of those made in Umbrella's secret lab in Res 2.

Rebecca is adept at giving the thumbs up.

Thanks for saving my ass guys, but grannified green jumper isn't a good look for me.
Agreed futuristic self.
Now if you'll excuse me, I must character zap Billy Cohen ike a slut.
Arias fuses with Diego and becomes uninspiring Tyrant.
But hold the biological front page.

Thanatos - Outbreak

Before getting absorbed by Nyx, Tyrant R debuted in online PS2 effort Outbreak: File 2.
Can't be coincidence.

The latter is also fought in The Umbrella Chronicles.
Comics

Five-piece series Resident Evil: The Official Comic Magazine alludes to and depicts events in original, sequel and beyond.

As this was released before Res 3, certain aspects are contradicted by games.

Beginning in a G-Virus ravaged circus, Fire and Ice introduced Charlie Team and the X-Virus, developed by Dr. Dexter Whitlam.

As zombie elephant is described, physical appearance of rampaging beast in Outbreak: File #2 is surely a nod to comic.

 Two-part manga Biohazard Umbrella Chronicles: Prelude to the Fall leads up to the main events of The Umbrella Chronicles.

Five volume manga The Marhawa Desire prequels Res 6.

Biohazard: Heavenly Island tied in with Revelations 2 and Umbrella Corps, but set after Res 6.

Resident Evil (1998-1999)

Issue #1 (March 1998)

Four stories prequel, recall original and play out unseen events.

Raccoon City - R.I.P. sets up Resi 2.

Issue #2 (June 1998)

A New Chapter of Evil adapts the meat of Resi 2.

Mutant Menagerie

September 7th, 1998

Raccoon City Zoo's security officer Patrick Brady deals with the aftermath of William Birkin infecting animals with the G-virus.

Birkin injected himself with G on 22 September.

Err, okay then.

Lock Down

A week after the Mansion Incident, Barry looks to psychiatrist Dr. Peter W. Lengle to help blot out recurring nightmares, but finds building overrun with zombies.

Issue #3 (September 1998)

Wolf Hunt

In a story set before original game, Raccoon City College is under attack, and it's up to Jill to save the day.

Did Capcom have story in mind when developing Village?

Danger Island

Unbeknownst to happy couple Stan and Leslie, Isla Bonale has already been infected by the G-virus.

Dead Air

Part One

Chris, Barry and Jill head to Europe in search of Umbrella's HQ.

Issue #4 (December 1998)

Night Stalkers

When humanoid bat creatures terrorise the southwestern town of Saguaro Wells, Leon is called in.

Special Delivery

Umbrella helicopters drops monstrous cargo from the skies above.

Zombies Abroad

Part Two

S.T.A.R.S. plane crash-lands and team explore England, France, Holland and Germany.

Issue #5 (February 1999)

...And the Last Shall Be First

At Pine Grove Academy, bullied teenage genius Dexter Whitlam goes all William Birkin (albeit through personal choice) and injects himself with the G-virus.

Tormentors better watch out.

Emmy's Bloody Spoon

Honeymooners Terry and Deb get lost and decide to get a bite to eat at local diner.

Bob bites Emmy, with the former feasting on Deb and Terry.

Shortly after, Claire arrives.

In the game, a different looking 'Bob' is killed by Leon.

Kane & Abe

Final Part

After zombie-infested castle goes boom, Claire meets up with Chris.

Resident Evil (2009 - 2011)

Before Resi 5, there was...

Issue #1 (May 2009)

One If By Land, Two If By Space...

Mina Gere finds a Licker aboard the Joint Nations Space Research Station.

Meanwhile, Holiday Sugarman has his own problems on Grezbekistan.

Issue #2 (June 2009)

Dirty Jabs

Gere encounters a new kind of bio-weapon.

Fun and games continue for Sugarman.

Issue #3 (January 2010)

If You Meet the Zombie on the Road...

Ɯbelandia - near the Urador Border.

Gere and Cruz investigate a village and rescue a little girl, who turns out to be infected.

Issue #4 (May 2010)

Ich Bin Ein
Schlechtesd Genie...

Fritz Giesel unleashes his pets.

Issue #5 (July 2010)

The Bio-Weapons of Urador

Gere and Sugarman pursue Giesel.

Issue #6 (February 2011)

Schafft Chaos Und Lasst Die Kriegshunde Los

Giesel Industries' latest innovation the Ɯberhund is unleashed.

Nothing exciting, just mutts.

Villain mutates and Sugarman ultimately decapitates wannabe Tyrant.

Novels

Some live action sequels were adapted, but they can take a running jump.

Serving as a prelude to original game, Resident Evil: The Book is an English novelization of Hiroyuki Ariga's Biohazard: The Beginning.

It also introduced another Billy.  In this case, Chris's best friend Billy Rabitson.

Benny Matsuyama's writings are considered canon.

biohazard (not a typo) retells Gamecube remake and biohazard 0 Prologue sets up Res 0.

He also novelized Code: Veronica, Res 4 and Res 5.

S.D. Perry would adapt many games, deceive with new subtitles and bring two exclusive stories.

Original character Trent manipulates events throughout.

The Umbrella Conspiracy (Resident Evil)

Plain and simple.

Caliban Cove (set between Resident Evil and Resident Evil 2).

1998 novel was published before Res 3 (1999), so timeline established by video games is inconsistent.

City of the Dead (Resident Evil 2)

Written word has several anachronisms.

For example:

When Leon enters Kendo Gun Shop, owner is already dead.

Underworld (set between Nemesis and Code: Veronica), was the final book not based on any game.

Composed of four artificial environments (forest, desert, mountain and a city), known as The Planet, Umbrella facility in Utah is the perfect place to meet new experiments, including Dacs (name inspired by Pterodactyl), Spitters (based on goat and snake) and Tyrannosaur humanoid tyrant, aptly called Fossil.

Retribution would lift and/or ref idea of artificial simulations.

Resident Evil Nemesis (Resident Evil 3: Nemesis).

Why omit '3'?

Triskaphobia?

Resident Evil Code: Veronica (2001) is the only novel to retain same name of game (Dreamcast original) it was based on.

Errr...

Not that it really matters, but PS2 update Veronica X may or may not have existed at time of publication.

Seventh and final novel Zero Hour is chronologically the first in series and was published in 2004.

Creative liberties taken in The Umbrella Conspiracy were retconned.

(Frowns).

So novel of 2002 Gamecube prequel ignored remake.

Talk about taking the Lisa Trevor.

Fleshing out tragic backstory of first person to be infected with the G-virus could have been really interesting.
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