Thursday 25 March 2021

Psycho Spoof Beast #6

The Thinker (Auguste Rodin)

Calvary
Stoned Sean or Thick Vic (Garbage Pail Kids)
The Addams Family (1992) title sequence
Note statue of Lurch.
The Complete Robot (Isaac Asimov)
The Tigger Movie
The Blue Boy (Thomas Gainsborough)

Cinderella III: A Twist in Time
Earl Painting or Blue-Boy George (Garbage Pail Kids)
Tattoo Assassins
Data East's answer to Mortal Kombat was never released and claimed to boast a staggering 2196 fatalities.
The Tigger Movie also features Botticelli's The Birth of Venus.
Which brings me to (mix and match).

Hannah Banana (Family Guy)
Birds of Prey [and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn]
Coraline
Hajime Sorayama's Gynoid
Makeruna! Makendō 2: Kimero Youkai Souri
To See the Stars: The Urban Adventures of Giuseppe Bergman
National Lampoon (May 1972)
Paradise PD (S2 E7)
Shrek
Sly 2: Band of Thieves
The Last Temptation of Homer (The Simpsons)
And.

Download 2
Crazy PC Engine shmup features a cybernetic Venus de Milo standing inside scallop shell.
Okay then.

Dragon Ball Z

Originally released for the Neo Geo, story of comical (and very colourful) fighter Waku Waku 7 is as follows:

"It is said that the person who collects all seven of the legendary WakuWaku balls will have their dearest wish granted."

As characters spoof anything from Sie Kensou (The King of Fighters) to Dominion, it's a safe assumption that premise refs wish-granting dragon Shenron.

Miscellany

Codename Kids Next Door
Go, Dragon Ball, Go (MAD TV series)
A Very Dragon Ball Z Christmas (Robot Chicken)
The Amazing World of Gumball

The Others
Gumball gets angry, but voice just cracks.
However, things escalate in a later episode.

The Pest
After learning his sister Anais is being bullied, Gumball goes Super Saiyan.
This is particularly odd.

Ted 2
During Comic-Con climax, extra powers up.
Like I say, who knows, but rather similar to.

Dragonball Evolution
HOW FUCKING BAD WAS THIS?

Let's ask Chow Yun-fat.

The money was good, but my acting man... WHY?
Yes, all concerned should be ashamed.

Paradise PD (S2 E1)

Kevin unleashes an interpretation of Supreme Kamehameha.


Cool.

Fusion Dance

Goku and Trunks waltz in perfect harmony.
Bayonetta (and Jeanne)
To astound even geeks.

Double Dragon (Neo Geo)
Cheng-Fu's special attack speaks for itself.
Steven Universe

Flying Nimbus


Vegeta's Red Scouter Eye


Fusion Dance


Yamcha's Crater


And as a special bonus.

Dragon Ball FighterZ
Nappa's Dramatic Finish against...
Until next time.

Saturday 20 March 2021

Zack Snyder's Justice League - The scoop and digest

Although Snyder received sole director's credit, theatrical abomination was basically Joss Whedon's film, hence adopted nickname of 'Josstice' League.

Here's what he intended before leaving production to deal with daughter's tragic suicide.

Ben Affleck - Batman/Bruce Wayne
Henry Cavill - Superman/Clark Kent
Amy Adams - Lois Lane
Gal Gadot - Wonder Woman/Diana Prince
Ray Fisher - Cyborg/Victor Stone
Jason Momoa - Aquaman/Arthur Curry
Ezra Miller - The Flash/Barry Allen
Ciarán Hinds - Steppenwolf

Summary

Characterisation, material and worldbuilding are significantly different, but premise of Steppenwolf gathering Mother Boxes to transform Earth into Apokolips remains.

Part 1
Don't Count on It, Batman

Bruce's financial bribe fails to recruit Arthur.  In Themyscira, Steppenwolf (sporting a sleek new design) and Parademon army secure the first Mother Box.

Part 2
The Age of Heroes

Villain sends minions to find remaining boxes.

In flashback, Darkseid finally makes his live-action debut, and during Lord of the Rings-esque battle with Atlanteans, Amazons and Olympians, dude is forced to retreat.

Part 3
Beloved Mother, Beloved Son

Barry joins Bruce's team and Victor buries a box inside mother's grave.

Steppenwolf overpowers Arthur in Atlantis and grabs second piece of jigsaw.

Part 4
"Change Machine"

The Bat, Flash, Cyborg and Wonder Woman interrupt baddie's interrogation game and fight ensues.

Steppenwolf escapes, Art joins up and Vic produces final box (discovered by the Nazis during WWII).

Team agrees to try and resurrect Superman.

Part 5
All the King's Men

Exhumed body is taken aboard Kryptonian craft and Flash awakens box with huge electrical surge.

FYI. We're about 2.5 hours deep.

Devoid of memory, Supes turns hostile.

Oh, 'moustache' looks natural.

Hoorah!

Of her own volition, Lois turns up (saving Bruce's life), and like that... they're gone.

Amidst the mayhem, our man swipes final box.

"And so begins the end."

Unless unity is prevented, Earth dies.

Part 6
"Something Darker"

Vic fusing with boxes and Bruce using Batwing to penetrate shield dome on Stryker's Island sounds like a plan.

Di, Vic and Art are no match for Steppenwolf and just before Vic is axed, Supes appears and together, team kick ass.

Darkseid is seen beyond portal and all seems lost.  However, Flash breaks the speed of sound and rewinds time, allowing Vic to destroy boxes.

Once Arthur's trident tastes blood, Di decapitates Steppenwolf and Darkseid squishes head like an insect.  He orders DeSaad to ready armada in preparation to seize his 'great prize', ie. the Anti-Life Equation.

Epilogue
A Father Twice Over

Lex has escaped from Arkham Asylum and reveals Batman's identity to Slade Wilson.

Awaking from post-apocalyptic nightmare, Bruce is visited by Martian Manhunter who guarantees to help should Darkseid cause mischief.

Gargantuan slog

The masterpiece reviews would have you believe?

No.  But a definite improvement.

At nearly 4 hours, running time is obscene, but at least back stories are vastly improved.

However, shit REALLY drags.

Seeking redemption, Steppenwolf occasionally cuts a pathetic figure and unlike before, actually has a personality.

Despite its fair share of ropey CG and director's obsession with slo-mo, action sequences are quite impressive.

Chris Terrio's screenplay resists cheesy humour, but uninvolving.

Multiple sequels are set up, but will never happen.

References

Yeah, I noted a few things.

Jurassic Park

Whisky inside Alfred's tumbler ripples on Superman's approach.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

Skeleton occupying car at the beginning of Bruce's dream is very similar to one in August 29th opening.

Conan the Barbarian (1982)

Darkseid sits on pseudo throne resting chin on clenched fist.

Rambo

In Part 3, Diana chews the fat with Vic, who comments 'Fuck the world.'

This is EXACTLY what grumpy bastard says to Burnett.

Coincidence?

Maybe.

Tuesday 16 March 2021

How to Use Names and Entertain People

Homophones (ntbcw homonyms) are two or more words pronounced the same, but differ in meaning and spelling.

Examples include:

Cue and queue.
Root and route.
Write and right.
Peace and piece.
Ball and bawl.
New and knew.
Son and sun.
Raw and roar.
Week and weak.
Birth and berth.
Soul and sole.
Stake and steak.
Knight and night.
Wait and weight.
Coarse and course.
Meet and meat.
Bail and bale.
Poll and pole.
Wail and whale.
Steal and steel.
Fate and fete.
Paw and pour.

Etc etc.

Time to spice shit up.

Video games

Cyberia and Syberia
Chequered Flag¹ (1988) and Checkered Flag² (1991)

¹Unrelated to 1983 home computer simulation of same name.
²Remade for the Jaguar in 1994.

Bands and Films

Incubus and Inkubus
S.C.U.M. and Scum

Films

Thor, Four and Thaw
Sx_Tape and Sex Tape
Coma and Koma
Dredd and Dread
Hair and Her
9 and Nine
Night Moves and Knight Moves
Sliver and Slither
13 and Thirteen
Brake and Break (2009), (2018), (2019) and (2020³)

³Rutger Hauer's final film very briefly stars real-life snooker professionals Jack Lisowski, Liang Wengbo and Ken Doherty.

Albums and Films

The 13th Floor (Sirenia) and The Thirteenth Floor
The Kids are Alright (The Who) and The Kids are All Right
Bare (Annie Lennox) and Bear
Birds of Pray (Live) and Birds of Prey⁴
Good Mourning (Alkaline Trio) and Good Morning
The E.N.D. (Black Eyed Peas) and The End
7 (Madness) and Seven

⁴(and the Fantabulous Emancipation of one Harley Quinn).

Film and games

Bee Movie and B-Movie
Armageddon and Armour-Geddon
School Daze and Skool Daze
Fire and Ice and Fire & Ice
Excalibur and Excaliba

Just to make things complicated.

Underworld⁵ and Underwurlde

⁵Freur performed the music for Transmutations (1985) and synthpop group would later evolve into Underworld (name taken from film's alternative title).

Versus and Vs.⁶

⁶Localised version of Fighters' Impact, which was initially only released in Japan for PS1.  Subsequent arcade version was retitled Fighters' Impact A.

WHY?

Characters

One pie. Many slices.

Alice (Resident Evil) and Alyce (Alyce Kills)


Rafael (Rio) and Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)


Hewie (Haunting Ground) and Huey (Duck Tales)


S.E.T.H. (Universal Soldier: The Return) and Seth (Street Fighter IV)


Goza (Gargoyle's Quest II: The Demon Darkness) and Gozer (Ghostbusters 1984)


Fio (Metal Slug 2) and Theo (Die Hard)


Berk (The Trap Door) and Burke (Aliens)


Melina (Total Recall 1990) and Mileena (Mortal Kombat II)


Silene (Fighters' Impact) and Selene (Underworld)


Holli Would (Cool World) and Holly Wood (Final Fight)


Gil (Karate Blazers) and Gill (Street Fighter III: New Generation)


Spinal (Killer Instinct) and Spinel (Steven Universe Movie)


Chuckie (Rug Rats) and Chucky (Child's Play 1988)


Cable (Marvel) and Kable (Gamer)


Cammie (The Great Outdoors) and Cammy (Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers)


Acta est fabula.
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