The Hilarious Localisation of SNK's Neo Geo

I'd suggest that SNK USA were a team sent from Japan who had little support from native English speakers, hence why translation is so nonsensical.

While that's only speculation, enjoy 330 megs of raw and uncut pro-gear bullshit.

I LOVE it.

Savage Reign

Impertinent whelp!
Feel my wrath!

Oh boy, a child, I love kids-in tartar sauce!

Gee, quite a face you got there, grodiola!

Say goodbye to life.
You crazy battler you!

I'll never marry you. You flea-bitten feline fool!

You have business with me first. Vile villain!

Sorry, you can't wrap a swine in silk. Philistine!

Guess again, weenie!
Eat my Joker punches!

A foul slug like you know should know King Lion!

Give me your best shot, you high-tech tot!

Hey, get your paws off, you crazy rug rat!

More jaguar filth!
Face my fists, fungus!

You know, fossil face.
I like your spunk!

Shut up and fight, you mangy feline!

Okay, fleahead!
Get ready!

Let's get this over with, I got a haircut at three.

Now, to meet your doom.
You pathetic melonhead!

Hayate vs Nicola

Shove off, punk. Call me after you finish puberty!

Adults are only big!
Why don't you understand it?

Not true, just ask Peter Dinklage. 

Mezu vs Joker

Cram it, horse-face!
How about a carrot?

I hate mimes!

Agreed.

Those selfish bastards need to keep it down.

Chung vs King Lion

Hit the road, you wrinkled wimp!

Always the flashy one, ey, King Tuna Breath!

Ouch.

But Queen Salmon Scoffer would've destroyed him.

The King of Fighters '94

Brazil

Nobody can stop my chop!

China is so mysterious!

China

You stink of sweat!

My wife will scold me again!

Italy

It's going to be our century!

All of you are just big!

Japan

That's the fate of a fraud!

You'd look better in a dress.

You are obsessed by desires!

Korea

Only your words are bold.

So exciting to chop up beautys!

Your iron nails are rusty!

The King of Fighters '95

So long, weenie king. We won't meet again.

Lambs are tougher than you.
How do I know? Well, uh....

Life is only training!
Training, and bowling!

You move like an elephant in a tutu. Hit the showers!

I fight in the name of justice.
Meet my wrath, kimchee breath!

Don't upset me, I have the strength of 1,000 linemen!

A rose blooms best near death.
You're in full bloom, pal!

I've no business with losers.
Hit the pavement, slug-face!

My strength comes from hate!
And no chemical substitutes!

You never had a chance, blowhard. Good day!

The King of Fighters '96

You're lucky to be alive.
Pick up your livers and go!

You guys were as tough as noodles. What a bore!

The only enemy I have is me...
And my old girlfriend. And...

If you can't win elegantly, don't win at all, stumble buns!

Endings

King: That is, Mai. No dancing on the tables for you... and no praying to the Porcelain God!

Chin: It's true we humans are a destructive bunch. But, as you said, humans can change for the better. And you can credit union on that!

World Heroes

With an ego like mine, there is no way I can lose!

You lack maturity my son.
Nyah! Nyah!

I was no match for you.
My skill is too great.

World Heroes 2

Don't stop the fight yet.
You have courage and strength.
But you fight like a geek.

Your strong. But I, the mucky messenger of God, was stronger.

Endings

Brocken
Powerful, maybe. Presentable, never!
What will my Cyborg sweetie say?"

Dragon
"Hey, you. Your hot voice sends me gyrating."

Muscle Power
"The battle is over, face it, we're all dumb, brawny warriors in a post-cold war society.
So how do we make a living?"

Ryoko

Since her return to Japan, Ryoko has been bounching bodies on the mats of judo gyms all over the country. Sixteen and A Judo hustler. what has become of the world's youth in these difficult times?

Johnny Maximum

"Yet, for me, wherever these are people banging heads together, wherever fingers are being snapped like pretzels over a glass of beer..."

"Wherever the crowd roars at a lineman's head being rent from his body, I'll be there, protecting my reputation as the number one master of mayhem."

If that didn't kill you, this will.

Shura
"Oh, shut up and stop these childish fantasies.
Let's get back home quick. Mom is having babies worrying where you are!"

Not kittens?

OMFG!

World Heroes 2 Jet

The FORGING OF WARRIORS replaces Death Match.

.....Hmmmph. A mere stowaway on the ship of life!

If you want to become strong, just eat nine times a day like me.

Gah. hah. hah. You're training is lacking, as is your deodorant. Phew!

Shoobeee, Doobeee, Doooo, Wop, Gabooooh.

Heh, heh, heh. The taste of a titan is always to be relished -- then ketchupped. Heh, heh.

Aaaah. I hear the voice of the Holy One. Wow! Such language!

Wah, hah, hah. Waaah. Hah.
Love just tickles me pink. Ooh, hooh!

Shura

What!
I came 6,000 kilometers for this?
Man, I want a refund!

Heh, heh. You look a bit like my brother -- and a bit like a fop, too.

Fuuma

Hanzou, I thought you were my equal. Then I think I'm Napoleon, too.

Oraaaah! I'm ready any time any where. Even in Bratislava!

Muscle Power

What a waste of time! I need to compensate this exercise with at least 5,000 sit-ups.

You should have listened to your mother and ate more liver, punk!
I've seen more meet on a leech in the desert.

Stop it.

My sides are splitting.

Brocken

I have walked this thorny path for Germany and I sure hope I get a darn good pension!

So you enjoy blood, such a sight makes me... makes me... goooOOO WAAAH!

Entry to the tournament is basically the Normal Game.

Prior to fighting Zeus, characters blurt out exclusive quotes.

Selection follows:

Orah, orah, orah. A release of gas from an individual has more power than thee.

You're not bad. Care to become my foreign adviser?

Heh, heh, heh. You really are big boned.

Oh, hah, hah, hah. The goddess of swordspersonship cannot lose!

Wah, hah, hah! You can't even win with a weapon? What a gazoomba!

In my training I attached weights to my nipples. Now, I think that was a little strange.

No fucking kidding mate.

HA HA HA!

Hanzou (originally Hanzo)

No matter how tough it gets, I will not bend to evil.
Unless she's cute.

"Virtue always wins." says the proverb.
Virtue and a good 300 kilo punch!

Any of three possible endings begin with:

Why you, you, YOU...
YOU CRAZY FUNSTER!
To think that you were this strong!

Screen that follows depends on how much health player has left upon victory.

Less than 25%
YOU FILTH. YOU SLIME. YOU LAWYER!
To think you had such power...
But, heh, heh, heh... it was a crazy, hip time!

Between 25-75%
But when we meet again, think of it as your twighlight time! Wah hah. hah!

More than 75%
Hey, you. Still can't walk and chew bubblegum at the same time?

When you've stopped laughing, stay tuned for more.