The Last Shark (L'Ultimo Squalo)

Before visual meat, let's explore how Enzo G. Castellari's rubbish knock-off was marketed.

Jaws was called Tubarão (Shark) in Brazil, leading many to believe that O Último Tubarão (The Last Shark) was part of the franchise.

In Japan, video was titled Jaws Returns.

If using same font as Jaws wasn't bad enough, fake sequel's box art is a mash up of Jaws 2 and a 'different' sail boat from alternative poster.

Observe.

Spain recycled 1981 promotional material, but title claimed something else.

Tiburón 3: El Último Tiburón (Jaws 3: The Last Shark) 

The real Jaws 3 was released in 1983.

I'm actually a fan of the more famous Italian poster.

Plot

After a huge Great White Shark terrorises the seaside resort of Port Harbor, a professional shark hunter is recruited to kill underwater monster.

Sound familiar?

You bet your ass it does.

Characters

Peter Benton vs Martin Brody

First name is a likely play on Peter Benchley (who did cameo as news reporter), but as horror author is the hero...

Governor William Wells vs Mayor Larry Vaughn

Both refuse to believe that shark threat exists.

And best of all.

Ron Hamer vs Quint

(Silence).

While filming the 'Time Out' segment for Twilight Zone: The Movie, Vic Morrow (along with two illegally hired child actors), died in a stunt helicopter accident.

Moving on, boat is no Orca.

SON OF A BITCH!

Hooper?

(No).

Thank fuck for that.

Constructed and operated by Giorgio Ferrari, with the collaboration of Giorgio Pozzi, mechanical shark was embarrassing.

Unlike Spielberg's masterpiece, film regularly (and awkwardly) cuts to stock footage.

Action

Ignoring circumstances, it's obvious where ideas came from.

This is a bit different I suppose.

I've heard of getting legless, but this is just taking the piss.

However.

Estuary victim lost more than limb.

Blink and you'll miss it sequence is giallo-esque.

Elongated sausage attacks enemy boat.

As punishment for getting in way of throttle, propeller gives it the bloody point.

This is just weird.

For some fucking reason, Benton gives shark a plank of wood to eat.

Why?

Maybe four-by-two was human flesh flavoured?

But I doubt it.

For shits and giggles

Just before eating Quint, Bruce munches on identical object.

With dynamite still strapped to Hamer's body, floating corpse is literally baddie's last supper.

Benton uses detonator to make shark go boom.

Same result, but at least method was different.

Overlord - The scoop and digest

Directed by Julius Avery (from an original idea by co-producer J. J. Abrams), can bonkers war drama cum horror fantasy serve up something sweet?

Jovan Adepo - Pvt.  Boyce
Wyatt Russell - Cpl. Ford
Mathilde Ollivier - Chloe
Pilou Asbæk - Wafner

Summary

On the eve of D-Day, Allied forces sent to disable enemy radio tower atop of church in Nazi-occupied France make a gruesome discovery.

In preparation for the 1000-year Reich, civilians are being experimented on to create army of near invincible super soldiers.

Just in case it hasn't hit home, title is derived from Operation Overlord, codename for the Normandy landings.

Wolfensploitation

A very strong opening is complemented by impressive action and brutal, if OTT gore.

Dramatic soundtrack suits situation and you cannot help but admire choreography.

Characters are decent, but script contains way too many cheesy (and clichéd) 'American' comebacks.

Unspeakable experimentation during WW II actually happened, but not like this of course.

After all, this is a work of fiction, not fact.

Horror taking centre stage is when things bizarrely go downhill.

There aren't any monsters per se, unless humanoid mutants qualify.

Final 30 minutes or so borders on the ridiculous.

A badly disfigured Wafner injects himself with serum (dubbed the blood of eternity) and becomes...

William fucking Birkin from Resident Evil 2.

If you're gonna rip off Capcom's classic, at least go the whole nine yards and have end boss mutate into a kick ass monster.

But predictably.

Ford sacrifices himself by blowing Wafner and friends to kingdom come.

How original.

As a 'reward', Boyce's superior sends surviving team on another mission.

End titles roll with stupid rap music.

WTF?

Title font on poster looks remarkably like Wolfenstein (2009 onwards).

More so, meat hums very much of Return to Castle Wolfenstein.

Hitting refresh.

Occultist experiments at Deathshead's secret X-Labs create legions of undead man-made monsters.

Project "Uber Soldat" (Super Soldier) and 'Operation Resurrection' nicely sews shit up.

Jaws Rip-offs

After Spielberg's textbook exercise in suspense became one of the first Summer blockbusters, others dreamed of enjoying similar success.

Squirm (1976), Orca: The Killer Whale (1977), Tentacles (1977), Piranha* (1978), Barracuda (1978), Crocodile (1979), Nightwing (1979), Alligator (1980), Blood Beach** (1981), Devil Fish (1984) and Slugs (1988).

*Remade in 1995 and loosely adapted in 2010 as Piranha 3-D.

Before the gore, tits, gore and more tits, Richard Dreyfuss amusingly parodies Matt Hooper in opening scene.

Disappointing sequel Piranha 3DD was released in 2012.

**Remade as The Sand in 2014.

Fun fact.

After being sued by Universal, 1976 bear-attack movie Paws was forced to change its title to Grizzly.

However, tagline 'The Most Dangerous Jaws on Land' was still used, just in case we didn't get it was copying Jaws.

(Frowns).

More. More. More.

Mako: The Jaws of Death (1976), Blood Kill (1976), Tintorera: Killer Shark (1977), Night of the Sharks (1988) and Blood in the Abyss (1989).

Forget about original and sequel, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon is infamous for one particular scene involving John Barrowman and Jenny McShane.

Cataline: "I'm exhausted."
Ben: "Yeah. Me too, but, yer' know - I'm really wired. What d'yer say I, take you home and eat your pussy?"

WTF?

Ha ha ha!

I'm so glad line wasn't cut.

You can't help but marvel at incredible special effects sequence.

Hmmm.

Despite having fuck all to do with franchise, direct-to-video 1995 Italian thriller Cruel Jaws was marketed in some areas as Jaws 5: Cruel Jaws.

Check these out.

Film                               Japanese title

Night of the Sharks          Jaws Attack
Psycho Shark                 Jaws in Japan
Shark (2000)                      Jaws '98

In Samuel Fuller's very different Shark (1969), a young Burt Reynolds plays Caine, a fugitive gunrunner.

The following statement appears during title sequence.

This film is dedicated to the fearless stuntmen who repeatedly risked their lives against attacks in shark infested waters during the filming of this picture...

Jaws is called Tubarão (Shark) in Brazil and Portugal.

You'd think Jaws 2 would be called Tubarão 2 in Portugal.

But no, they called it Tubarão II.

What's that?

I forgot about The Last Shark?

Not really.

Slaughterhouse Rulez - The scoop and digest

The first film released under Pegg and Frost's production company Stolen Picture is directed by Crispian Mills.

Asa Butterfield - Willoughby Blake
Michael Sheen - The Bat
Hermione Corfield - Clemsie
Simon Pegg - Meredith Houseman
Finn Cole - Don Wallace
Tom Rhys-Harries - Matthew Clegg
Isabella Laughland - Kay
Nick Frost - Woody

Summary

Average teenager Blake is sent to tough boarding school Slaughterhouse, and forced to adapt with the losers and misfits in house Sparta.

He must also contend with the psychopathic head-of-house Matthew Clegg.

Meanwhile, a giant fracking drill unwittingly disturbs the lair of vicious subterranean rat like creatures.

After befriending St Trinians-esque 'goddesses' Clemsie and Kay, Blake and fellow Spartans aim to avoid becoming monster meat.

Watchable

Teen horror-comedy spills blood, severs limbs and delivers sporadic laughs.

Even though nothing of note actually happens for about 50 minutes, lamentable affair is worth sticking with.

Beasties themselves are fairly generic, but look pretty good.

Fate is sealed when lair goes boom.

How original.

Harry Potter fans will appreciate several nods and title may be spoofing The Cider House Rules.

Pegg is his usual nervous, charming self and Frost hams it up as a gold-toothed, drug dealing anti-fracking warrior.

Describing sink hole as 'supermassive frack hole' could be referencing region of spacetime.

But I'd like to think it's a pun on Muse song Supermassive Black Hole.

'We are Sparta', rather than 'This is Sparta' from 300?

Ultra cheesy.

Before he goes same way as team, Neil's dad (Alex Macqueen), enjoys himself as Terrafrack chief.

Acceptable as throwaway fun, but for something more memorable - look elsewhere.

Resident Evil: Beyond the Horror - Part 2

Devil May Cry

Stinger is the first of several stupid bosses in Resi 0.

Phantom transforms from spider to scorpion when eyes see red.

Phantom is also a boss from Knights of the Round.
Sprite is a lazy 'copy and paste' job of regular enemies Mask Man and Sky Walker.

Before completing Resi 4, Leon and Ashley escape on a jet ski.

Same kinda thing, only vehicle is swapped for bi-plane.

Moving on.

Resi 0
Shortly before becoming Queen Leech, James Marcus literally brings up 'children'.

Resi 2
I prefer to call Claire's boss G-Spawn.
See how monster pukes symbiotes.

Lisa Trevor is a constant pest in Resi Evil (2002)
Please note extremely deadly club attack.

Mr X from Resi 2 (B scenario).

Harking back to a classic.

In any version, big ass spider Black Tiger is fought underground.

Name is a reference to 1987 arcade of same name, which was also the genesis of Magic Sword.

Final Fight

Uptown in Resi 3.

Up Town (yes with the space), is final stage.

Claire only meets Brian Irons in A game.
How the Mayor's daughter died and how blonde got on his desk is never revealed.
Who does sinister police chief look like I wonder? 

Former champion Street Fighter and Mayor of Metro City Haggar sued Umbrella for using likeness without permission.

Haunting Ground

The Umbrella Chronicles
Wesker drops a chandelier on Lisa Trevor.

To spare Debilitas, Fiona must arrange for chandelier to subdue homunculus.

Lorenzo vs James Marcus (Resi 0)

Portraits are nigh on identical, yes?

Here's a really sneaky one.

The Darkside Chronicles
During Code: Veronica section, a door has several sets of eyes either side.

(Okay, so what?)

Glad you asked.

If room is not treated with respect, eyes will take Fiona out.

Come on lads, let's do this bitch.

Wow!

Revelations

Trish the vending machine refs Devil May Cry.

Lady pants was a hidden character in sequel, and can only be unlocked by beating hard mode with either Dante or Lucia.

Bathtubs filled with nasty water

Jill resorted to desperation after shower broke down.

Resi Evil (2002)
Chris decided against taking a dip. 

Resi Evil (1996)
Amusingly, wet stuff is apparently 'muddy'.

Which dirty bastard last took a bath?

God only knows.

FBC Commissioner Morgan Lansdale has a keen interest in Dante's Inferno.

Abandon hope all ye who enter here.

From Canto 33.

"Full soon shalt thou be where Thine eye shall answer make to thee of this,

Seeing the cause which raineth down the blast."

A nice snap of source material The Divine Comedy.

This is a bit special.

Jill curiously picking up hand still clutching gun is surely reffing...

...Joseph's gruesome discovery during original's infamous FMV intro.

 Arklay Mountains

Resi 3

Resi 7

Code: Veronica

Alfred Ashford vs Vincent Goldman* (Survivor)

*Surname could be reffing antagonist from Sega's The House of the Dead.

Check out internal symbolism.

Alexander Ashford, more affectionately known as Nosferatu, magically breaks free when Claire and Steve are about to leave Antarctica.
Huge axe is for dramatic effect only.

Infected with t-Veronica virus, Steve the Monster is trapped by same weapon, but unlike Nosferatu, wields deadly melee weapon.

Resi 4
After defeating Chief Mendez, Leon ponders key item false eye.

Glass eye is got by merely dispatching a zombie.

The Darkside Chronicles
For you and I, Leon...
We're merely different sides of the same coin.

Krauser's ramblings is not entirely random.

As twins, Alexia and I (Alfred) are two sides of a coin.
Clue is used to solve paper weight puzzle.

Brilliant eh?

One more.

In area where Claire gets sexy mitts on piano roll, note statues holding 'rusted' sword, helmet, shield and armour.
Four keys bearing same decoration open various rooms in the Spencer Mansion.

More bits and bobs.

Nemesis infects victims with tentacles.

Birkin orally rapes Ben.

Operation Raccoon City
T-103 stamps on vials.

Resi 2
Birkin does the same in flashback CG sequence.

Resi 4

Apart from Gamecube original, we get to play Ada in Separate Ways.

La Femme Nikita

Lord Saddler finally shows his true colours.
Eye twitches about rather like...

...a mutation of Birkin in Resi 2.

Check out disclaimer.

Ignoring boring first paragraph, ripped from any film.
This game is protected under the laws of the Raccoon Police Department.
Unauthorized duplication, distribution or exhibition may result in civil liability and criminal prosecution by an appropriate S.T.A.R.S. member. and then some.

Cheesy, but still funny.

Also, Leon can get:

• Kicked by a cow (reducing energy to bare minimum).
• Shot dead by Luis (if one opens fire on annoying Spaniard).
• Called a pervert by Ashley, if camera angle is correct.
• Devoured by Del Lago, if water in close vicinity is blasted too many times.

Like many, I thoroughly enjoyed Resi 7, until boat section, where I nearly lost the will to live.

Alan vomits icky black substance, aka mold.

This is dodgy, but whatever.

Psychopath Darlene hurls dark blood in Dead Rising 3.

Lockpick

Outbreak
Like Jill, Alyssa is a master of unlocking things.

Master of Knifing is an unlockable first person mode in DS remake Deadly Silence.

Opening anything with lockpick in Resi 7 bags trophy/achievement Master of Unlocking.

Unlocking every shiv door in The Last of Us acquires trophy of same name.

Nice one Naughty Dog.

Take a wild guess at what happens when every locker is opened in save area of The Evil Within?

Yeah.

Handcuffs

WTF?

Indeed, but read on.

Resi 0
Much to Billy's disappointment, Rebecca wasn't interested in bondage.

Let's go back to RPD corridor in Resi 2.

Broken restraint attached to handrail apparently had no purpose.

Coincidence?

Code: Veronica
'A handcuff is attached to an end'
Nonsensical examine can be read while exploring prison.

Finally, Wesker issues two death threats.

Resi 5
Time to die, Chris.

Resi 0
Time to die, Doctor.

Blade Runner undertones aside, my shit is indeed together.