Tuesday, 21 November 2023

Thanksgiving - The scoop and digest

Although based on the faux Grindhouse trailer of same name, Eli Roth considers this a reboot, rather than a feature-length adaptation.

Subsequently, choppy editing, dreary filters and shaky camera are ditched for a clean approach.

Patrick Dempsey - Sheriff Newlon
Nell Verlaque - Jessica
Addison Rae - Gabby
Jalen Thomas Brooks - Bobby
Milo Manheim - Ryan
Tomaso Sanelli - Evan

Summary

During Thanksgiving in Plymouth, Massachussets, RightMart is about to open for a Black Friday sale.

When the crowd notice the store owner's daughter Jessica and friends are already inside, a stampede results in multiple deaths.

I'm not suggesting anything, but title sequence of Krampus begins in a similar vein.

One year later.

A mysterious figure wearing a John Carver mask starts to dispatch those involved in the riot.

Post-credits

Jessica bids farewell to her father Thomas and after she exits the scene, he gives camera the mid digit.

"Cut".

The table is set

Stuffed with blood, innovative kills, Halloween (1978) and Wes Craven's Scream, holiday slasher is one of the better examples in recent years.

Victims can be sliced in half, decapitated, disemboweled and rather appropriately, cooked inside a giant oven.

Notorious trampoline set-piece returns, but didn't have the same impact.

Primary issues include a weak script, predictable villain and rushed climax.

Sheriff Newlon (out to avenge the death of Amanda pregnant with his unborn child) is 'apparently' incinerated.

Box office success suggests he'll be back for another carve up.

Saturday, 18 November 2023

The Crazy World of Alien, Predator and Friends

Miscellany

The Blackout (2009) vs Speargun projectile - Predator 2 (1990)


Maybe it's my imagination, but I also see pagan deity Baphomet within poster.


Prey (2022) vs Predator - issue 1 (June 1989)


Also.

Aliens vs. Predator - issue 4 (December 1990)
Check this out.

Hell-Hound - Predators (2010) vs Kurn - Aliens versus Predator: Extinction (2003)


(Frowns).

Aliens: Colonial Marines (2013) is set 17 weeks after Aliens (1986) and was a pile of FUCKING shit.

Cover art (detail) vs Aliens: Colonial Marines - No Man Left Behind (July 2012)


One-shot served as a tie-in to game.

But...

Aliens: Colonial Marines - issue 1 (January 1993)
Despite name, series is completely unrelated to the above.

Personal best

Turning up the volume.

Angela Stone's evolution

Prometheus: Fire and Stone (September-December 2014)
Predator: Fire and Stone (October 2014-January 2015)
Skipping to the end of story arc.

Prometheus: Fire and Stone Omega (February 2015) vs Lara Croft - Tomb Raider (2013)


WHY?

Aliens - issue 2 (September 1988)
I'm blind --- but I finally see.
Seems random, right?

Raging Bull (1980)

So, for the second time, [the Pharisees] summoned the man who had been blind and said:

"Speak the truth before God.
We know this fellow is a sinner."

"Whether or not he is a sinner, I do not know,"
the man replied.

"All I know is this:
once I was blind and now I can see."

John IX, 24-26
the New English Bible

Remembering Haig P. Manoogian, teacher.
May 23, 1916-May 26, 1980
With Love and resolution, Marty.

Martin Scorsese was one of film professor's students at New York University.

He died before biopic was released.

The Game (1997)

New Member Ted: "Whereas once I was blind, now I can see."

Project Firestart (1989)

Resident Evil popularised genre, but C64 classic was the first true example of survival horror.

S.S.F. Research Vessel 'The Prometheus'
23 years later, Ridley Scott would direct a certain prequel named after titular spaceship.

Prometheus
Whether this was intentional remains unknown.

Boss Stranger - Parasite Eve II (1999) vs Newborn - Alien: Resurrection (1997)


How deliciously bizarre.

H.R. Giger working on Alien in 1977.
Filmmakers didn't give him any credit and here's the meat of angry letter he sent to Fox.

"The creatures in Alien: Resurrection are even closer to my original Alien designs than the ones which appear in Aliens and Alien³. As for those responsible in this conspiracy: all I can wish them is an Alien breeding inside their chests, which might just remind them that the 'Alien Father' is H.R. Giger."

Queen (born from extra-terrestrial) - Aliens: Earth Angel (August 1994) vs Berserker - Nightbreed (1990)


Bulbous heads sure look alike don't they?

King Shark ripping soldier in half - The Suicide Squad (2021) vs Xenomorph doing the same to Baal - Aliens: Apocalypse - The Destroying Angels - issue 1 (January 1999)

Mortal Kombat (2011)
Climax of Sheeva's Stripped Down fatality also counts.
Turrican II: The Final Fight (1991)

Before top part goes kaboom, here's The Machine's base.

C64
Amiga/Atari ST
While developers were massively aware of Alien, what they did was beyond unbelievable.

Unused derelict concept art (1979) - Jean 'Moebius' Giraud
MIND. FUCKING. BLOWN.

Sunday, 12 November 2023

Bottoms - The scoop and digest

Emma Seligman directs and co-writes high school comedy with its lead star.

Rachel Sennott - PJ
Ayo Edebiri - Josie
Ruby Cruz - Hazel
Havana Rose Liu - Isabel
Kaia Gerber - Brittany
Nicholas Galitzine - Jeff

Summary

Unpopular virgins and lesbian best friends PJ and Josie create a fight club to empower women, but is really just a front for duo to finally get laid.

When their true agenda is revealed, tensions run high.

Pineapple juice

Inspired by the likes of Heathers, Wet Hot American Summer, Booksmart and Bring It On, horny satire is an anarchic mix of adolescence and gore.

Performances hit the mark and impressive script is appropriately brash and loaded with palpable rage.

However, jokes don't always land and sometimes overplayed.

Chaotic climax of girls scrapping with the boys of Huntington High (or Golden Ferrets) revels in hilarious brutality.

This probably won't make any waves at the box office, but for originality alone, is worth anybody's time.

Saturday, 11 November 2023

Rocky Video Games and Goofs

Lace up those gloves, step inside the ring and prepare to be on the receiving end of a vicious knockout.

Rocky Super Action Boxing (1983)

The first licensed game was based on Rocky III and released exclusively on the ColecoVision.
Title screen vs poster


Guess full title didn't fit and gotta love the green gloves.

Clubber looks rather dashing with violet gloves and lilac shorts, don't you think?
Unless stated otherwise, games are now just called Rocky.

Master System (1987)

Two-mega cartridge is memorable for the wrong reasons.

Title screen vs Rocky IV poster


Pretty decent, but the inclusion of arm looks unnatural.

Manual

Apollo: The reigning champion whose experience and strength make him nearly undeatable.
Lang: A worthy contender whose hunger for the title is over-powering until he achieves it.
Drago: A rank amateur from the U.S.S.R. whose spirit to win is unrivaled. 
Ignoring pathetic drawings, typo is unbeatable.

Did they have some kind of copyright problem with Creed, Clubber and Ivan?

Who fucking knows?

First fight with Apollo is perfect.
We skip Rocky II and jump to 'Lang'.

Assuming this is the rematch, black shorts and stars and stripes gets the thumbs up.
But shit goes downhill.

When he's knocked down, shorts magically turn blue.
Same thing happens between rounds (dubbed 'intervals'), but something more peculiar is happening in the opposite corner.

Even though Mickey died shortly after Rocky's initial defeat by Clubber, behold his resurrection.
Wait a mo, where's Tony, Apollo and Paulie?

Finally, I must break you.

Same set up, even though it should be just Tony and Paulie.
After beating Drago, we become the world champion.

Rocky is reunited with Adrian outside the Whitehouse.
Okay then.

Having said that, she could be a two dollar whore for all I know.

In 1991, Sega released the very similar Heavyweight Champ, ntbcw 1987 remake of 1976 original of same name (notable for being the first ever fighting game).

Outside of North America, James "Buster" Douglas Knockout Boxing was also named so, but is otherwise unrelated to series.

Game Boy Advance (2002)

Virtucraft Studios handled portable exclusive.

Cover art

For reasons unknown, Tommy "The Machine" Gunn (portrayed by then professional boxer Tommy Morrison) is absent.
North American equivalent literally copied Rocky IV's poster.
Movie mode boasts 15 opponents (the 'majority' of which are taken from source material) and a boss from each film.

Rocky vs Spider Rico
White shorts weren't used until his first fight with Apollo and both pairs of gloves are the wrong colour
But at least they got Spider's maroon shorts right.
Curiously, screen constantly 'bobs' up and down, suggesting we're at sea.

HA HA HA!

Shit is broken up by a series of digitised stills.

Apollo gives a local underdog fighter a shot at the title on the 1st of January.
Correct.

But almost immediately after:

It's stated that fight will take place on the 4th of July.
WHAT THE FUCK?

"I want you Balboa, I want you!"
He actually says: "I want the Stallion, I want you!"

We jump to rematch with Clubber.

Red gloves are right, but black and gold shorts are from Rocky II and Clubber wore blue shorts in their first fight.
The reality.

Stars and stripes and black with white trim.
Then this happens.

Still isn't from Rocky III.
So what gives?

Rocky IV
Goddammit man.

Rocky vs Tommy
As this is a street fight, why the FUCK are both dressed as boxers?

Upon completing game.

Image occurs before scrap begins and made up quote makes no sense.
Tommy - "Yeah, you fight pretty good (cough!). I guess you really are the champ!"
Gamecube, PS2 and Xbox (2002)

Rage Software's PS2 and Xbox versions are identical to Gamecube (developed by Steel Monkeys).

Movie mode is the same principle as GBA, but hardware allows full character models and CG cut scenes.

Rocky

Spider Rico fight still has the same futuristic shorts problem.


Before Apollo I, we must take care of Dipper Brown and Ernie Roman.

Apart from band aid missing above Rocky's right eye and glass of beer rather than bottle on bar - bravo.

Apollo searches for a potential opponent and remarks:
"Big Chuck Smith. No man I don't feel no heat from that name."
He actually says this of Bobby Judge.

Photographs are taken from Rocky III.
Page isn't shown in film.

Here's the proof.


WHY and WOW, right?

After choosing the Italian Stallion for Bicentennial bout, a vision shows Rocky wearing red shorts/white stripe, as opposed to white shorts/red stripe, mirroring poster above the ring.


Cheeky.

According to DVD commentary provided by director John G. Avildsen, this was actually a mistake made by the props department that they couldn't afford to rectify, so Stallone wrote a brief scene between him and Jergens to cover up the fact.

Ring walks are robe racist.


Who's the asshole with beard?

Apollo doesn't come as George Washington.


Lazy bastards.

But ring itself is spot on.


Rocky II

Mac Lee Green, Buddy Shaw and Billy Snow.

Boss - Apollo II

Again, characters are without robes.



Banner


Did you spot the goof?

Waistband is red, but should be black.

Ring is recycled, so completely wrong.


Yo Adrian, I did it


Championship belt was never found.

Rocky III

Big Yank Ball, Joe Chan and Vito Soto.

Boss - Clubber Lang

Newspapers

Now we're in deep shit.

Evening Post
Apollo only bright spot in struggling offense
The Evening Post-Dispatch
Rookie only bright spot in struggling offense
Clubber Win - Number One Contender
Contest winner to compete yet again
Clubber Lang Win - Number One Contender
 Oratorical contest winner to compete again Sunday
Oh, Sunday talks on pensions being mulled is omitted.

Rematch takes place in the wrong ring and Clubber wore blue shorts in the first fight. 
The only aspect they got right is Rocky's stars and stripes.


Rocky IV

Big Chuck Smith, Burt Judge¹ and Joe Czak²

Boss - Ivan Drago

¹B. Buchanan and ²Joe Zack in GBA (a mistake in itself).

Czak was first mentioned in original and defeated in Rocky III.

Burt is changed from film's Bobby Judge. 

Weird.

Apollo is dressed for the occasion but Drago forgot his clobber.


They didn't have permission to use Boss, so Rocky's top says Creed.


Pure coincidence of course, but in 2015 (or 30 years later), spin-off franchise of same name was born.

Profile states this iteration of Rocky is aged 36.
Let's check history.

Rocky - 30
Rocky II - 31
Rocky III³ - 34 (before and after Clubber defeat) and 35 (sometime before rematch)

³Dialogue, Mickey's death and date of Thunderlips newspaper article places events between 1979-1982.

No shit.

Anyway, contrary to popular belief, Rocky IV occurs five years after III, making him 40.

Rocky V

Kofi Langton⁴, Tim Simms⁵ and Union Cane

Boss - Tommy Gunn

More changes from GBA.

⁴Phil Rodgers and Jeff Langton in film.

⁵Take a look at what they did.


Michael Jackson once said 'it doesn't matter if you're black or white'.

On this occasion, I beg to differ.

Unlike portable cousin, they nailed street fight.
Yep, he's still 36, and why have we reverted back to original's shorts?
Rocky Legends, PS2 and Xbox (2004)

Sequel was brought by Venom Games.

Career mode imagines the four major characters rising to the top, so set before and during the films.

Drago's journey steps away from the canon, as after beating Apollo, he also defeats Rocky and receives a medal for his troubles.

Paulie Klein
We know his surname is Pennino, but in the original script, Adrian's surname was Klein.
Rocky was 30 in the original film, but he didn't wear stars and stripes until Rocky III
Mickey Goldmill is randomly aged 28.
He knocked Ginny Russell out of the ring on September 14, 1923, the same night that in real life, Luis Firpo did the same to Jack Dempsey.

Mick shows Rocky a clipping of him in his prime.
Was the above portrait modelled on this?

Possibly.

Authenticity is certainly upped.

Rocky II
Rocky III (first and second fights)


However.

Meat of Rocky II's banner was changed.


For Drago fight, 'some' of Rocky's corner have Rocky displayed on the back of their shirts, but should be Balboa


Rocky Balboa, 2007 (PSP)

Based on the 2006 film of same name, Ubisoft Montreal took huge bites of Rocky Legends and removed interactive training sessions.

It looks good though.

Drago vs Apollo
Rocky vs Apollo I
Rocky vs Clubber I
Tommy vs Union Cane
Rocky vs Spider
Rocky vs Mason Dixon
Rocky vs Drago
Rocky vs Tommy
Rocky vs Apollo II
Rocky vs Clubber II
And so concludes a Thrilla more exciting than a certain fight held in Manila.
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