Thursday 29 July 2021

Old - The scoop and digest

M. Night Shyamalan adapts the French/Swiss graphic novel Sandcastle.

Gael Garcia Bernal - Guy
Vicky Krieps - Prisca
Rufus Sewell - Charles
Alex Wolff and Emun Elliott - Trent
Thomasin McKenzie and Embeth Davidtz - Maddox

Summary

Shortly before Guy and Prisca divorce, the Cappa family travel to the Anamika resort for one last family holiday.

Based on manager's glowing recommendation, peeps are driven to a secluded island, with many already stationed.

After a corpse is discovered, all and sundry realise idyllic setting is rapidly aging occupants, who also suffer from underlying health conditions.

Here's the deal.

60 minutes equates to two years, so fifty in a day.

Attempting to leave via canyon results in blacking out, so is there is any escape?

Clunky

Boring characters, wooden acting and terrible script ruin interesting premise and stylish cinematography.

Source material is inevitably changed and new explanation was pretty dumb.

Stuff on beach causing aging process is part of a drug scientists are trialling to cure diseases within a day.

Hmmm, I prefer comic's ambiguity.

Story of 'Half-Man' (Death's Messenger) visiting King could have been unsettling, but isn't even referenced.

Disappointing.

Thursday 22 July 2021

Paying Homage to Frank Frazetta

Predecessor was judge, jury and executioner.


Sequel/spin-off is infinitely more trusting.

A Princess of Mars (1970)
Conan the King #50¹ (January 1989)
The Savage Sword of Conan #69² (October 1981)
Snow Giants (1967)
 In the Hall of the Mountain King
Conan #5³ (December 1995)
Cimmeria
Conan the Cimmerian #0⁴ (June 2008)
The Life & Death of Conan - Part Nine The God Below
Conan the Barbarian #9⁵ (2019)
Indomitable (1974)
Brian Pulido's Lady Death: Abandon All Hope #3⁶ (January 2006)
The Savage Sword of Conan #184⁷ (April 1991)
Rastan arcade flyer (North America)
Turok: Dinosaur Hunter (any region)
Brutal Legend (Europe/North America)
Miscellany

The Savage Sword of Conan #69⁸ frontispiece (October 1981)
Land of Terror (detail) and Winged Terror (detail)


King Conan: The Conqueror #3⁹ (April 2014) vs Green Death (1967)


Satan's Swordbearers by Fred Blosser - The Savage Sword of Conan #54¹⁰ (July 1980) vs Land of Terror (1967)


King Conan: The Scarlet Citadel - Chapter One¹¹ (2011) vs Chained Conan (1974)


Conan (2003) #44¹² (September 2007) vs The Brain (1967)


Ultimate X-Men #30¹³ (May 2003) vs Against the Gods (1966)


Highlander Issue #8¹⁴ (2007) vs The Brain (1967)


Mixing shit up.

Blade II
In commentary, Guillermo del Toro states Nomak at the top of a staircase strewn with dead security guards is his tribute.
He doesn't state what, but best guess.

Conan the Destroyer (1971)
There's only one way to end.

Death Dealer (1973)
The Incredible Hulk #81¹⁵ (July 2005)
Red Sonja: One More Day¹⁶ (November 2005)
Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers
Star Wars: Vader: Dark Visions #1¹⁷ (March 2019)
Fist of the North Star (1986)
Raoh riding menacing steed Kukuoh more than rings a bell.
Before I go.

Art/Inks Credits:

¹Mike Kaluta
²Roman Kukalis
³John Nyberg
Tomás Giorello
Mahmud Asrar
Ron Adrian
Lou Harrison
Pablo Marcos
Tomás Giorello and José Villarubia
¹⁰Tony DeZiga
¹¹Tomás Giorello
¹²Cary Nord and Richard Isanove
¹³Adam Kubert
¹⁴David Michael Beck
¹⁵Lee Weeks
¹⁶Liam Sharp
¹⁷Greg Smallwood

Sunday 18 July 2021

Escape Room: Tournament of Champions - The scoop and digest

This is the sequel to Adam Robitel's Escape Room (2019), but it doesn't help that two other unrelated films bearing same title as original were released in 2017.

Oh, there's also Alex Merkin's No Escape Room.

Jesus Christ.

Taylor Russell - Zoey
Logan Miller - Ben
Deborah Ann Wolf - Amanda
Thomas Cocquerel - Nathan
Holland Roden - Rachel
Indya Moore - Brianna
Carlito Olivero - Theo

Summary

Two weeks after the events of predecessor, Zoey and Ben locate unlisted building in Manhattan, but find Minos headquarters condemned.

A vagrant robs Zoey of her necklace and after unsuccessfully giving chase, leads find themselves stuck aboard a train car with previous players.

Cue another set of twisted games.

Entertaining rehash

Plot makes absolutely no fucking sense, but elaborate puzzles more than compensate.

Bank room with laser security system was my personal favourite.

Unfortunately, you can always tell who's gonna die.

Shortly before shit becomes real, ceiling suddenly lowers inside hotel room.

If sequence wasn't a nightmare, trap would have turned Ben into a sandwich.

Did filmmakers intentionally rip off Resident Evil?

Unknown.

Friday 16 July 2021

The Forever Purge - The scoop and digest

Fifth in series follows Election Year.

Ana de la Reguera - Adela
Tenoch Huerta - Juan
Josh Lucas - Dylan
Cassidy Freeman - Cassie
Leven Rambin - Harper
Alejandro Edda - T.T.

Summary

8 years after Charlene Roan's presidential election, the NFFA have regained control of the U.S. government.

As the next annual Purge begins, migrant couple Adela and Juan observe the Purge Purification Force, a group hellbent on cleansing America by 'disinfecting' foreigners.

During clean-up time, the carnage continues, because this is the Forever Purge bitches.

In response to conspiracy groups supporting movement, the NFFA declares martial law across America and dispatches the military to restore peace.

Mexico and Canada open their borders for 6 hours to provide sanctuary for the unarmed.

Will violence end happily Ever After?

Revival

Until now, I'd never heard of Mexican director Everado Valerio Gout.

Hardly surprising really, as screen credit is rather limited.

Political subtext may not sit well with some, but those offended should still appreciate impressive action sequences and strong performances.

With America now burning, I expect matters to expand globally (unless TV series gets there first).

Saturday 10 July 2021

Black Widow - The scoop and digest

Ever since character debuted in Iron Man 2, we've been waiting years for lady pants to get her own film.

Enter Cate Shortland.

Oh, globe-trotting adventure takes place after Captain America: Civil War but before Avengers: Infinity War.

Scarlett Johansson - Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow
Florence Pugh - Yelena Belova
Rachel Weisz - Melina Vostokoff
David Harbour - Alexei Shostakov/Red Guardian
Ray Winstone - Dreykov
O-T Fagbenle - Mason
Olga Kurylenko - Antonia/Taskmaster

Summary

In 1995, Natasha lives with fake parents and 'sister' Yelena.

With S.H.I.E.L.D. agents hot on their trail, family swap Ohio for Cuba, where bossman Dreykov puts Natasha and Yelena through Red Room training.

21 years later, the remaining Avengers are being hunted for violating the Sokovia Accords, with Steve Rogers and Natasha on the run.

Meanwhile, Dreykov sends Taskmaster to retrieve vials containing mind control antidote Red Dust.

By hook or by crook, Dreykov is going down.

Post-credits

While visiting Natasha's grave, Valentina Fontaine gives Yelena her next assignment of going after Clint Barton, the man 'responsible' for sister's death.

Family assemble

Johansson and Pugh share impressive chemistry and Harbour is goofily entertaining.

Chase sequences disappoint and action primarily focuses on leads surviving CG set-pieces.

Ignoring Terminator vision, Taskmaster's behaviour smacks of Nemesis from Resident Evil fame.

Due to accents bizarrely changing more than the weather, this is definitely one of the most confusing films I've ever heard.

Finally.

At first, Natasha cannot harm Dreykov, as smelling villain instantly activates pheromone lock he implanted inside every Widow.

Severing nerve inside forehead is the only way to disable failsafe.

Who knows if intentional, but Robocop anybody?

Let me explain.

Pheromone lock (Directive 4) and severing the nerve (the Old Man firing Dick Jones).

Eric Pearson's screenplay even has Natasha say to Dreykov "Thank you for your co-operation."

HA HA HA!

Monday 5 July 2021

Alien 3: Beyond Fiorina "Fury" 161

Before main event, the history behind third film that never was.

David Giler and Walter Hill approached William Gibson in 1987 to pen screenplay, with Renny Harlin due to direct the following year.

However, producers were dissatisfied by Gibson's vision, and after geezer refused to make rewrites with Harlin; project was scrapped.

WayForward Technologies' Aliens: Infestation lifted some elements, namely rogue U.P.P. soldiers and hybrid xenos.

Johnnie Christmas wrote¹ and illustrated five-piece Dark Horse graphic novel Alien 3: The Unproduced Screenplay between November 2018 and March 2019.

¹Based on original story.

To business.

Theatrical version (May 1992)

Yes, there was another.

More later.

Poster (cropped)

R-Type III: The Third Lightning
Please note Mother Bydo's projectiles.
Resident Evil Revelations
Malacoda is a mass of parasitic worms, created via the t-Abyss virus.
Before head splits open, this angle looks rather suspicious.
Dog (Super Turrican²) vs Runner


²ntbcw NES game of same name.

Incoming transmission

Finishing the majority of home computer and console versions (less SNES and Game Boy), rewarded player with this ending screen.

As Ripley leaves Fury 161 she turns back one last time
"IT IS DONE .."
Why?

Best guess, devs inhaled way too much quinitricetyline.

More importantly, Probe were very, very naughty.

(You're shitting us, right?)

Afraid not.

Aliens Vol. 2, #4 May, 1990
I'm tired of watching. It's time to finish it.
Man I'm good.

Coincidences

Off-screen, Ripley tells Supt. Andrews her story, who sarcastically responds:

"Let me see if I have this correct, Lieutenant - it's an 8-foot creature of some kind with acid for blood, and it arrived on your spaceship. It kills on sight, and is generally unpleasant.

Polymorph (Red Dwarf III, 1989)

After man-made genetic experiment removes Lister's fear, Rimmer describes 'emotional vampire' as "an 8-foot tall, armour plated alien killing machine."

What's amusing is that episode was obviously influenced by Alien.

Check this out.

Aliens #1 May, 1988
Observe spaceship Dutton.
Hopefully you know what's coming.

Former criminal Charles S. Dutton was cast as Dillon.
HA HA HA!

Finally.

Alien³ comic #3 July, 1992
Unlike film and Alan Dean Foster's novelisation, Queen emerges before Ripley can sacrifice herself, but she manages to break its neck.
She then falls backwards into fiery cauldron.
Alien vs. Predator (2004)
Sebastian's chestburster launches at Scar like a fucking speeding bullet.
Threat is caught and dies the same way.
Did they?

We'll never know.

References

Deadpool (2016)

(Commenting on Negasonic Teenage Warhead's shaved head), Wade exclaims "Ripley, from Alien 3!"

Brilliant.

Treehouse of Horror VI (The Simpsons)
Font of Homer³ is obviously based on said film, but segment was inspired by The Twilight Zone episode Little Girl Lost.
For all its depressing inadequacies, one sequence glitters in acidic gold.

Shortly after murdering Clemens, 'Dragon' squares up to a terrified Ripley.
Others did their thing.

AVP: Requiem
All Through the House (Love Death + Robots)
Pig Hunt
Stealing First Base (The Simpsons)
Special Edition (December 2003)

This is rumour control, here are the facts.

For the release of Alien Quadrilogy (a bullshit phrase btw), Ridley Scott and Jean Pierre Jeunet agreed to create alternative versions of respective films, identical in principle to Aliens SE, but Fincher refused.

Following troubled production history, at the time he nearly quit the business and said:

"I'd rather die of colon cancer than make another movie."

As a lost director's cut didn't exist, Charles de Lauzirika cobbled together new version using so-called 1991 assembly cut

Even though some audio could not be repaired, extended result (featuring never-before-seen footage and effects) was far superior to previous effort.

Alien³: The Gun (1993)

Screw rail shooter's authenticity, because two things interest me.

Royal Facehugger vs Super Face-Hugger


Babe's son vs 'Oxenburster'


Remarkably similar, yes?

The only logical explanation is that Sega noted written word.

And even that's highly unlikely.
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