Nukes and Knives™: The Hilarious Localisation of Fatal Fury

The best is saved until last and I defy anybody to keep a straight face.

Fatal Fury 2

Again, legendary men return...

Sequel didn't really improve gameplay, but notable for Mai flashing her fans for the first time.

Bear
You're like a fly. Your sounds annoy me.

Billy
Nice to meet you again!
Try my powered up art of stick.

Laurence
Kukuku... I'll stain the mat with your blood.

Jubei

I was called "demon" though I may not look like one.
You're dead meat!

You're far from perfect. Don't rely on power! Intelligence overcomes brute force.

Terry

You'll never defeat me with guts only.

Ku... I've won again without trying.

Joe

My power is a mystery of the far east.
Ha, ha, ha...

Hee, hee, hee... here comes the stormy man.

Cheng

I'm hungry using so much spirit.

No one can escape my circular motion.

Andy

I almost got my fighting sense back.

Hmm, the goddess of victory knows everything.

The goddess of victory seems to have chosen me.

Mai

Fight to the death! That's the way of the Ninja.
Prepare for death.

Living under defeat is humiliating.
It's suitable for you.

My fist is a gale.
No one will stop it.

No doubt you're a burning man.
But you can't stop me on guts alone.

Fatal Fury Special

Apart from tweaking gameplay and introducing a basic combo system, SNK's version of Street Fighter II: Champion Edition is probably most famous for "Dream Match" against Art of Fighting's Ryo, as hidden scrap inspired The King of Fighters series (even though original was subbed 'King of Fighters').

Dialogue was completely rewritten for update and reeks of absurd brilliance.

Andy
Now you've done it!
I'm gonna make porridge of ya!

Bear
Taste the blows of this reborn titan. Ah cha cha.

Kim
Evil makes me want to kill.
Conscience prevents me.

Duck
Heh, heh. Too fast for you huh. I said, too fast for you, huh?

Laurence

I'm going to die my cape with your blood. Grisly, huh?

What a tough. I think I used about 61.5% of my strength.

Billy

Eat my power pole, pansy.
A nice treat after a long separation.

Oh, man! My grandmother with arthritis is more of a match than you!

Your time is over.
Your fighting is like a rusted crane.

Axel

Put up your dukes.
You're 10 counts from Hell.

You traitor. Time to pay the fiddler!

My punch is steel.
My face is not. Ouch!

Geese

The immortal Geese is about to show you to a very hot place, indeed.

You fight like a milkmaid.
Butch up.

Wah, hah, hah. Not satisfied until you have what you want.
Sad.

Tung Fu Rue

Are there no strong people in this tiny world?

Oooh, you're so muscular.
It will be a pleasure to tangle with you.

Your fists of evil are about to meet my steel wall of niceness.

Krauser

To oppose me is to listen to Madonna at a celibacy meeting!

Blood is thick, but syrup's thicker. Think about it.

Challenge me? ya hot, spunky kid. I hate spunk.

Joe

You guys sure stick out like a gorilla at a lingerie show.

No, no, no! You still aren't fit to lick my shoe soles.

Heh, heh. Tempest Man enters the ring. Whoosh, whoosh.

Oooh. You make me so angry, ya big silly.

Geese taunts Andy and Terry about their old man man Jeff.

Die like your father, you pin-headed son of an icecream maker!

Harsh.

But Tel is responsible for the greatest victory quote EVER.

Wubba, wubba. I'm in the pink today, boy!

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Fatal Fury 3: Road to the Final Victory

Dark destiny once again. Outstretches its icy grip.. The lone wolves are back!

Character roster was slashed from fifteen to ten (thirteen including bosses), but gameplay and animation was much smoother, multi-layered backgrounds were stunning and CD version had an amazing soundtrack.

Oh, it also saw the debut of Terry's love interest Android 18, sorry Blue Mary.

Things are way less generic than predecessor, so it's necessary to detail specifics.

Bob beats Geese
So that was Geese, huh?
He's just and old sack of tired bones in my book!

Yamazaki losing to Hon Fu
Just go to Delta Park and stop picking on me all the time, you insensitive cop!

Andy vs Franco
Nice timing! I've got an ungodly buildup of hormones and got to get rid of them!

Joe

vs clone
Oh, you just steam my egg noodles some times, you silly Muetai maniac, you!

vs Sokaku
You look tough, but I bet with one super Muetai kick, you're lunchmeat, buster.

Geese

beating Yamazaki (Accident!)
That weasel. I'm gonna decorate my study with his hide!

vs Joe
Oooh, you were as strong as my pain reliver. Oh, my sinuses are killing me.

losing to Terry
But you're still just a tiny little frog in a tiny little pond, Terry.

Terry

beating Bob
What do you call a guy with broken arms and legs floating in a pool? Bob!

vs Andy
Things are getting messy here.
Take Mai with you and haul your hinder back to Japan to safety.

beating Franco
"Bash?" More like "Poof" if you ask me. I wonder what surprise is up next.

Mary

beating Geese
Geese, shmeese. You're just a week old geezer.

vs Andy
Don't tell me your afraid of a little old wolf like me?
Grrrr. Grrrr. Scary, huh?

vs Franco
I know you know Yamazaki, and you know you know Yamazaki -- so who's Yamazaki?

Nice tongue twister

Hon Fu

vs Sokaku
Okey, buster, don't come any closer or you're thousand-slice salami!

beating Yamazaki (Accident!)
Aaah! Get your fanny back here, dragon spit! Oh, my back!

vs Bob
What in the name of Moses does Cooperia mean?

vs Mary
Well, if it isn't Rambette.
Hon Fu, Hong Kong police.

Sokaku

vs Geese
Geese, not only is your goose cooked, it's buttered, basted and broiled. Sayonara, toad!

vs Terry
Southtown's hero falls under the fierce feet of the tough Mochizuki macho men. A ooga!

before Chon Shu
W-What in the name of Nervin the Ninja!

Or more appropriately, w-what the FUCK?

Andy

vs Joe
I'm gonna make you pay for making Mai cry. You unfeeling monster, you!

vs Mai
W...What?! Mai, what in the name of the Great Ice Cream Salesman are you doing here?

vs Terry
You hair-spray hooligan!
You're the guy who said not to get involved in this!

beating Mary
Huh? I eat woives for breakfast. And I am not of the feminine persuasion!

beating Sokaku
The power of dark thoughts?
Ahhh, you're Mochizuki, huh?
Die you slug-eating filth!

beating Yamazaki (Accident!)
Just what do you mean by the scrolls? Spit it out, you friend!

beating Yamazaki (for real)
Okay, spit it all out! No, not the blood! The scrolls!
Talk, toe jam breath!

Chon Shu

vs Andy
Andy Bogard. I as bound to meet you before I died. Just like tonsillitis!

vs Mai
The strength and blood of 2200 years strengthens my body and energizes my limbs!

vs Sokaku
To the Jins, even your awesome powers amount to spitting against the wind!

vs Bob

Another neophyte nihilist. Let's make this quick, pal. I have a world to conquer. Maybe you should escape to Brazil now and learn about Cooperia without the Mitster!