Sonic the Hedgehog 3 - The scoop and digest

From a screenplay by Pat Casey, Josh Miller and John Whittington, Jeff Fowler returns to direct the third in film series.

Before going any further.

Plot draws heavily from Sonic Adventure 2 (2001) and elements of Shadow the Hedgehog (2005).

While events of Knuckles are ignored, cameo of Wade Whipple (Adam Pally) confirms spin-off TV series exists in the same continuity.

Released 30 years after 'unrelated' video game of same name.

Jim Carrey - Dr. Ivo Robotnik/Professor Gerald Robotnik

Ben Schwartz - Sonic

Keanu Reeves - Shadow

Idris Ela - Knuckles

Colleen O'Shaughnssey - Tails

James Marsden - Tom

Tika Sumpter - Maddie

Tom Butler - Commander Walters

Summary

In 1974, a meteroite containing Shadow is seized by G.U.N. for Gerald Robotnik to conduct various experiments on Prison Island.  Over time, 'alien' develops a friendship with Gerald's granddaughter Maria.  After wee lassie is accidentally killed in an explosion, Gerald is arrested to cover up incident and Shadow is placed in stasis.

50 years later, facility's system is hacked, allowing an enraged Shadow to escape.

G.U.N. agents recruit Sonic, Knuckles and Tails to stop Shadow, but are easily overpowered.

At an abandoned facility, Ivo meets his estranged grandfather Gerald, who explains in exchange for his freedom, gave blueprints for G.U.N. to design super weapon the Eclipse Cannon.

Shadow sides with the Robotniks, but eventually has a change of heart when Sonic convinces him that love for those lost is stronger than revenge.

Mid-credits

During a race with Knuckles and Tails, Sonic ends up in New York and gets ambushed by an army of Metal Sonics, but Amy Rose saves the day.

For the record, Metal Sonic and Amy debuted in Sonic CD (1993).

Also, Mecha Sonic is a recurring boss, beginning in the original Mega Drive version of Sonic 2.

Post-credits

Shadow is revealed to have survived and removes a ring embedded in the ground.  

Ancestry of excellence

If you liked the first two, chances are you'll enjoy this too.

There's some flashy action sequences, John Wick nails character's voice and supporting humans are nearly surplus to requirements.

However, story is convoluted, final act seemed to last forever and Carrey in general was extremely annoying.

With any luck, he won't be back for number four.

Dune: Prophecy - Episode 6

The High-Handed Enemy

Written by Elizabeth Padden and Suzanne Wrubel

Directed by Anna Foerster

Shortly after a young Valya forced Dorotea to commit suicide, Tula reveals to Valya she's pregnant with Orry's child.

Present day.

While analysing the virus (whose first victim was Desmond), Nazir is immolated.

Ynez is arrested under Natalya's orders for attempting to free Keiran.

Valya decides the best way to get at Javicco is to get herself arrested by attempting to rescue Ynez.

Before departing for the Palace, Valya gives Francesca a needle coated with meta-cyanide.

Blood-soaked roots

Series ends on an uninspiring note.

At around 80 minutes, pacing is clumsy, unbalanced and climax felt rushed.

Desmond is Tula's son, Javicco fatally stabs himself after learning from Valya that the Sisterhood manipulated his whole life and Natalya kills Francesca with the needle (meant for Javicco).

Valya and Desmond don't exactly face off and battle just plays out visions of her and Griffin.

Tula stops Valya from removing Desmond's eye (the virus) and his guards arrest Tula.

Valya, Ynez (or Theodosia due to shape-shifting ability) and Keiran land on Arrakis, with Valya stating "The path to our enemy begins here."

The spice will continue to flow in season 2 which probably won't drop until 2026.

Hilariously BAD football video game cover art

"It's a funny old game" is a catchphrase associated with the late Jimmy Greaves.

Somehow though, I don't think footballing legend was referring to video games.

(Ahem).

Cult Games

Striker
Player isn't too bad, but crudity of faceless crowd demands all apologies.

British Super League
Despite single-handedly winning the inaugural BSL title, 'D & H' was consumed by stadium's evil and died a raving mad man.

Soccer 7
Why is stumpy in front of a shape happy vortex?
The same reason why drugs the don't work I suppose.

Soccer Star
While skating through green slime, geezer looked down at his right arm and wondered what he'd done wrong to be inflicted by such a gross deformity.

Pro Evolution Soccer

The rivalry with FIFA began after the release of International Superstar Soccer (1994).

Konami rebranded series to eFootball in 2020 and the less said about that the better.

Anyway.

Pro Evolution Soccer
Ah yes, non-descript blue guy racing towards the camera.
So classic, it's coin-operated.

Anonymous atrocity sponsored by Konami giving it large with generic fist pump.
Now we're talking stock.

Pro Evolution Soccer: PES 2009 - Wii
Lionel Messi, (lead singer of Argentina's worst boy band) faded into obscurity and decided a remote and nunchuk would give him the confidence to stare people in the eye again.
They did, but not for long though.

Miscellany

Goal!
I'd love to know who these guys are, but everything's a blur. 

European Football Champ
A peculiar stream of yellow bubbles (probably balloons) and an altercation between players presumably over somebody clutching his face on the pitch.
If geezer was really laid out, why is the referee only showing whoever a yellow?
Corruption is rife and this is brimming with shite.

Kick Off
I do question why red is flying and why white and blue has his hand around opponent's hip.
This is all a bit too physical for my liking.

Ultimate Soccer
At the end of his career, at least dude can say he took one for the team (in the face).

World Soccer
The fact that 'speedlines' are facing wrong way makes this Master System turd smell absolutely divine.

Soccer Boss
With a mouth wider than your average hippopotamus, titular boss accepted his destiny was behind glory holes.

Goal! Two
John Brady was an amateur player from London, living in Chicago at the time.
Booting fresh air with a pained expression is the price of fame I guess.

Track Suit Manager
Bobby Robson is blessed with real match tactics but guy in red was born an asshole and just grew bigger.

Professional Footballer
We all have demons, and keeper's face suggests he has more to exorcise than the Ars Goetia, and countless legions to boot. 

Advanced Soccer Simulator
I used to like blue, but not anymore.
Colour can FUCK off.

Football Manager 3
Frustrated by a poor decision, tracksuit stunned both sets of supporters by storming onto the pitch and embarking on a bloodthirsty rampage.
After evading police capture, he remains at large and his whereabouts are unknown.

Personal best

Street Cred' Football
Drunken Masters are trying to emulate Jackie Chan, but stiff bastards will go down in legend for very different reasons.

The Double
One minute he's topless, and the next, the same guy is wearing silverware as a fucking hat.
The lads taught him a lesson he'd never forget.

Five-a-Side Soccer
Phew just saved it!
Drat my last chance
Pardon me SKIID, but quotes from striker and defender make absolutely no fucking sense.

Club Football: The Manager
Synchronized gurning or regulated electrocution?
This dugout is reserved for the bold, the batshit and the brave.

Bundesliga Manager
Chairman: "Good morning asshole. I'm pleased to say that the board have terminated your contract with immediate effect and appointed an incontinent chimp to lead strategic operations. Lots of love and fuck my sister."
Blotter jotter: "Thanks for that. By the way, I drilled your cousin, that bitch of a wife and ate your hamster. Goodbye and good luck."

Multi-Player Soccer Manager
The fuzz are familiar with the long arm of the law. Unfortunately, whoever birthed this poor bastard took things too literally.

Football Frenzy
The manager of Grimesditch Rangers fantasizes about a stadium chanting "Here we go."
On the other hand, his battered team are praying "Let's go home."

Italy Soccer '90
They say that penalty takers give keepers 'the eyes'.
I can't my eyes off his, for different reasons.

Magnetic Soccer
Yay! My teeth are primed and ready to open the next bottle cap.

Soccer
Two jockeys battle to kick a ten-pin bowling ball.
Congratulations to the guy in red for defying all expectations.

Soccer Director
Doctor Frankenstein's Monster escaped creator's laboratory and masterminded club's relegation by chewing on a fat cigar.

Street Gang Football
The Warriors were cast out from Coney Island and the most feared street gang in the world shrunk like a slug sunbathing in salt.

Super Shot Soccer
Number 10 certainly has fire behind his right boot, with shot leaving geezer spinning in pain and despair.

All the turkey breast boys and girls.

Dune: Prophecy - Episode 5

In Blood, Truth

Written by Carlito and Leah Benavides Rodriguez

Directed by Anna Foerster

Following the failed attempt on his life, Javicco assembles a new elite regiment and appoints Desmond as his Bashar.

Harrow apologises to Desmond for challenging Javicco and tells him that insurgents can be found at the Division.

Raquella awakes through Lila and praises Valya's research.  Lila determines a genetically modified virus killed Kasha and manages to isolate it.

Ahead of Desmond's arrival, Mikaela rigs the facility with chain detonators.

Place goes kaboom, but Desmond survives.

Constantine betrays Keiran and Javicco puts him in charge of his fleet.

After running a test, Tula is shocked to discover that Desmond has Atreides and Harkonnen blood.

Desmond tells Empress Natalya his mother, a Sister, left him to scavengers at birth, and she vows to help rid the Imperium of 'witches' forever.

Tip of the Spear

Not as good as last week, but still enjoyable.

There's precious little action, but Keiran and Mikaela going through Desmond's troops like a hot knife through butter was impressive.

With all major players alive and kicking, anything is possible and I have no idea how things will end.

Dune: Prophecy - Episode 4

Twice Born

Written by Kevin Lau and Suzanne Wrubel

Directed by Richard J. Lewis

Valya and Theodosia visit Harrow and Evgeny, resulting in Valya becoming the Harkonnens' Truthsayer.

Keiran Atreides and Great Houses rebellion member Horace buy an Ixian thinking machine modified with a thermal bomb to assassinate Javicco, so they can control spice production.

Overhearing their plan, Valya plans to save Javicco and turn in Keiran.

Ynez tells the High Council that Desmond murdered Pruwet, with geezer calling act an execution.

Destroying the bomb, Desmond gets the nod from Javicco to murder the 'predators' in their midst, wounding himself in the process.

Valya orders a sample of Desmond's blood be traced through the breeding index to find out who and where he came from.

After Emmeline threatens to expose Tula's crimes to the Imperium, Tula dreams of killing her.  During which, Lila awakes.

Evgeny's scornful remarks push Valya too far and she withholds his respirator, killing him.

Theodosia appears and channels Griffin, as Valya watches on.

Shine as long as the stars

In the name of tyranny, injustice and war, we finally get a good episode.

An absorbing 60 minutes sets up next week beautifully.

Will a mainstay depart our company?

Maybe.

Go Film Go (Postergasm 7)

Miscellany

Blood Harvest (1987)
Commando

Deathdream aka Dead of Night
The Deathmaster

Hackers
Metropolis

Porky's
Half Angel (1951)

The Holiday
Vertigo

The Kentucky Fried Movie
Schlock

The Last House on Dead End Street
The Psychopath (1973) aka An Eye for an Eye

Multiples

The Hills Run Red (2009)
Red Room (1999) (left) and FeardotCom (right)

The Muse
Jaws (left) and E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (right)

The Mechanic (1972)
City of Missing Girls (top left), Good Night, Paul (bottom left), Blood and Sand (middle), Johanna Enlists (middle bottom), Gone with the Wind (top right), Cruel, Cruel Love (middle right) and King Kong (bottom right)

Dark Web: Descent into Hell
Top row, L-R: Back to the Future Part II, Rocky IV - fan effort by Jason Edmiston, unknown¹, Mad Max 2 and Children of the Corn (1984)
Bottom row, L-R: Videodrome, Without Warning, Brazil, TerrorVision, The House by the Cemetery, Heavy Metal and Blade Runner

¹Could be genuine?

Dead Shadows

Escape from New York - Italian version

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Starstruck (1982)

Africa: Texas Style

Jaws 2

The Good Neighbor (2016)

Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman (1958) (left), White Zombie (bottom), Plan 9 from Outer Space (right), King Kong (1933) (top right) and M - Belgian version (middle right)

L-R: Night of the Living Dead (1968), Debbie Does Dallas, TPB AFK: The Pirate Bay Away From Keyboard and Reefer Madness

The Monster Squad

Zombie (1979)

Blood of Ghastly Horror

Return of the Living Dead (far left), Godzilla: War of the Monsters (middle), Vampire Circus (right) and The Being (far right)

Demons (1985)

Creepshow

Harry & Son - Italian version

Metropolis - Italian version

The Terminator

No Nukes (left), Four Flies on Grey Velvet (middle) and Nosferatu the Vampyre (right)

Human Traffic

Scarface (1983)

New Jack City

Alien (bottom left), Blue Velvet (top) and Quadrophenia (bottom right)

Dazed & Confused (bottom left), Lost Highway (left) and Clerks (right)

Drugstore Cowboy (left), True Romance (top right) and Nikita (bottom right)

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood

The Mercenary

The Wrecking Crew

Don't Make Waves

Mackenna's Gold (left) and Funny Girl (right)

L-R: Ice Station Zebra, The Sergeant, Hells Angels 69 and 2001: A Space Odyssey

Porno

City That Never Sleeps

Deadly Weapons

Deep Throat

Encino Man

Orgy of the Dead

A League of Their Own

The Last Mercenary

Bloodsport

Class of 1984

Escape from New York

Jaws

Rocky III

The Terminator

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (left) and Rocky Balboa (right)

Fist of Fury - French version (left) and Gremlins (right)

Scarface (1983) (left) and Scarface (1932) (right)

L-R: Mad Max, War Games and A View to a Kill

L-R: A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors - French version, Big Trouble in Little China, The Karate Kid (1984) and Rambo: First Blood Part II

The Player

Amazing Monsieur Fabre

Casablanca

Drop Dead Fred

Highly Dangerous

Hollywood Story

Laura

Niagara

Peacemaker

Red-Headed Woman

Sunset Boulevard

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

The Mysterians

My American Uncle (left) and Gone with the Wind (right)

Notorious! (left) and Rear Window (right)

The Blue Angel (left) and Prison Shadows (right)

L-R: Prison Break, Murder in the Big House and King Kong (1933)

Join me next time for the final episode.