Saturday 28 November 2020

Resident Evil (1996) - Goofs

Anthology series begins in July 1998 (affectionately known as the Mansion Incident).

Unless stated, PS1 original provides the entertainment.

Back art sets the standard.

A series of gory attacks in the area surrounding a remote biotech lab brings in S.T.A.R.S. (Special Tactics and Rescue Squad) to investigate.
Really?

And there was me thinking that S.T.A.R.S. stood for Special Tactics and Rescue Service.

HA HA HA!

Somewhat ironically, in Paul W. S. Anderson's live-action universe, it is Squad.

At least heavily cut European/North American intro got things right.

(Special Tactics And Rescue Service)
But newspaper headline has its own problems.

STARS isn't abbreviated, And should be lowercase and there's some awful spacing issues.

So instead of:

'STARS'(Special Tactics And Rescue Service)sent to save Raccoon City.

Daily rag should read:

'S.T.A.R.S.' (Special Tactics and Rescue Service) sent to save Raccoon City.

Perhaps more amusing is this.

In April 1996, Marvel published a free one-shot comic to promote original game's release, throwing in two discount coupons.

How generous.

It explains that after Bravo team's helicopter crash-landed, Richard Aiken fled to the isolated mansion.

Right off the bat.

While on a mission to investigate a series of disappearances in a remote mountain community, a team from Special Tactics and Rescue Squad (S.T.A.R.S.) runs into trouble.
What is HAPPENING here?

The Mandela effect?

Wesker assembles Alpha team and Richard encounters Yawn.

12-page short ends when chopper lands, setting up iconic FMV intro.

Back to the game.

Files

Plant 42 Report
4 days have passed etc etc.
It has been effected by the T-Virus differently than other plants have been and shows unique shape in addition to its size.
This cock up has affected me more than you know.

Barry's Picture
Depending on player's decision-making, the beard to be feared can die either Underground or inside Laboratory.
With his dying breath, he will give Jill a family photo.
My dearest Moira and Poly.
Blah blah.
Your father will watching you all from heaven.
I'm reasonably confident they meant Polly.

How do I know?

Gamecube (2002)
Guess daughter changed name by deed poll.

Also, final sentence makes no sense, and should read:

Your father will be watching you all from heaven.

Fax
Regarding the "T-Virus" outbreak which occured recently, this Committee conducted a field survey.  According to the survey results, it occurred to me nobody knew how to spell.
Orders
3. Destroy the Arkley lab including all researchers and lab animals in a manner which will seem accidental.
Arklay Mountains seems destined to remain within the confines of picture frame, unless like Resi 7, Village makes reference.

Ever approached a door and witness hinged barrier miraculously change colour as it opens?

No? Me neither.

But this is a major problem inside the Spencer Mansion.

As so many examples exist, selection follows.



One more.

Skulking around kitchen attracts an unwelcome guest.

Door is rosewood (kinda).
CG of zombie walking downstairs shows door is grey/silver.
Exiting room.

Light-ish brown.
Anyway, how did zombie pick up Jill and/or Chris's scent?

Telepathy?

Miscellany

Portrait inside dining room is described as being A picture of a woman.
Remarkable really, as this is Altobello Malone's Portrait of a Gentleman (widely believed to be Cesare Borgia, Son of Pope Alexander VI).
Brilliant.

Using slides on projector reveals Wesker ain't Mr. Clean.

Title is Umbrella Bio-Organic Weapon Official Report.

Caption isn't even close.

"Umbrella Inc."
"Bio-weapon Materials"
Why even bother?

Jill finds Richard, who explains he was attacked by a huge... snake, and also... poisonous.
"OUCH!"

In the next room, we assume bloody handprint belongs to Richard.
So how the FUCK did 'terrible demon' sink poisonous fangs into our man when shield key is needed to access room?

Even after serum is fetched, endeavour is fruitless.
Before biting the dust, he gives Jill his invisible radio.
Here's a splendid continuity error.

You'll first encounter Yawn in the attic.
Fighting serpent is a waste of ammo, but does result in scaring bastard away.

Most importantly, monster bears no battle scars.

After defeating Plant 42, a fight to the death awaits back in the mansion.

Note that beastie has magically sustained physical damage
Hmmm.

Check this out.


Hunters turn up once Armour key is got.

Now compare above to CG.


Yup, heavy duty double-door is missing and after creature exits room, crest plaque has also mysteriously disappeared.

Jill and Barry observe the ultimate lifeform - Tyrant.
Ms. Valentine is all present and correct, but...
Where's Barry?

See what I did there?

(Laughs).

Same shit happens if playing as Chris.


Character bios



Additional comments made at my discretion.

Alpha Team

Barry Burton
Chris Redfield's old friend and partner. Former SWAT team member, Barry maintains and supplies for all S.T.A.R.S. members. He has over 16 years of experience, and has lead many projects to success. Barry is a trusty ally, but has had some troubles with his wife and 2 daughters recently. He may look or sound depressed at times.

Oops. Printing has led to a mistake.

Joesph Frost
Previous member of S.T.A.R.S. Bravo Team, and already stationed in Raccoon City. Joseph was recently promoted to serve as vehicle specialist for Alpha Team. Many members are jealous of his promotion, but he was moved up by Wesker himself. Joseph is young, enthusiastic and very curious.

As promotion has already happened, context should be past-tense, ie. 'were'.

Chris Redfield
After being kicked out of the Air Force, Chris became a drifter until he met Barry Burton. Barry recruited him for the newly formed S.T.A.R.S. Now Chris has been reassigned to a smaller unit at Raccoon City headquarters to prove himself quickly. A tough guy who possesses both a strong mentality and great vitality, Chris has a great advantage with weapons when surrounded by many enemies.

Jill Valentine
An intelligent soldier that has rescued many S.T.A.R.S. members from danger in the past. Jill has been reassigned to Raccoon City just like Chris. She is excellent with special mechanical devices such as lock picks. Jill has strong moral convictions and fights for what she believes in. While she has a great capacity for holding items, her small vitality puts her at an immediate disadvantage.

Brad Vickers
Brad is a computer expert and is an excellent information gatherer. Unfortunately, his fear and dying and lack of enthusiasm for rushing into danger have earned him the nickname "Chickenheart". While Chris a qualified pilot, Brad has become the helicopter flier for Alpha Team.

Albert Wesker
Wesker has risen quickly inside the S.T.A.R.S. organisation and currently leads the Alpha Team. Viewed by many as a "cool guy", from his snappy haircut to perpetual shades, Wesker was recruited by a headhunter for his sharp insight and eventually founded the ST.A.R.S. unit in Raccoon City.

Bravo Team

Richard Aiken
A very important member of S.T.A.R.S. serving as Bravo's communications expert. The only link back to headquarters out in the field. Richard actually has to pull double duty as radioman for both units since Alpha Team really has no trained operator, except for Jill (who has a knack for technology). A very positive person, Richard greets new members warmly.

Rebecca Chambers
The youngest member of the group, Rebecca has been recruited for her knowledge of field medicine and First Aid. She is nervous around other members, both because of her age (18) and due to her lack of experience. Rebecca is eager to please and will take on any task assigned to her without hesitation.

Could final sentence be any more suggestive?

[Yak Yak Yak].

Enrico Marini
Bravo Team's leader, and Wesker's second in command for the S.T.A.R.S. unit. Enrico feels threatened by the arrival of Alpha Team, thinking that Chris or Barry may end up replacing him as #2 to Wesker. Nonetheless, Enrico is a dedicated S.T.A.R.S. operative and is always proud to lead the unit when Wesker lets him.

More soon.

Forest Speyer
Forest is a great sniper in addition to his duties as Bravo's vehicle specialist. He is a consummate professional, and his work earns him great respect from the other members. He instantly clicks with Chris, and it seems they'll end up good team-mates.

Again, I have a problem with context, as 'clicks' should be clicked.

Kenneth J. Sullivan
A quiet but very talented field scouting officer. Also is an expert on chemistry. He wonders why his chemical experience would be necessary in Raccoon City but quickly discounts his hesitancy since Wesker himself sought him for enlisting in S.T.A.R.S.

Now for Director's Cut.

Call the following whatever you want, but what they did is beyond reason.

First off, all names are in CAPS and there's a clear break between name and profile.



Apart from Wesker, all Alpha bios have been shortened.

WHY?

Barry's 'final' sentence is slightly reworded and corrects goof.

He has over 16 years of experience, and has led many successful projects.

Switching to Bravo, things get more interesting.

Richard

A very important member of S.T.A.R.S. serving as Bravo's communications expert. The only link back to headquarters out in the field. Richard actually has to pull double duty as radioman for both units since Alpha Team really has no trained operator.

Previously:

Richard actually has to pull double duty as radioman for both units since Alpha Team really has no trained operator, except for Jill (who has a knack for technology). A very positive person, Richard greets new members warmly.

Last act of Rebecca's blurb is changed to:

She is nervous around other members, both because of her age and lack of experience.

I kinda get why sexual innuendo was removed, but why leave out age?

Enrico

Enrico feels threatened by the arrival of Alpha Team, thinking that Chris or Barry may end up replacing him as number 1 to Wesker.

Checking back, he was threatened by the prospect of Redfield or Burton replacing him as #2 to Wesker.

I am very FUCKING confused.

Kenneth's is the final to be rewritten.

A quiet but very talented field scouting officer, Kenneth formerly worked as a chemist. He wonders why his chemical experience is necessary in Raccoon City but quickly discounts this hesitancy since Wesker himself enlisted him in S.T.A.R.S.

Title screen

Director's Cut: Resident Evil
Curious.

Especially since cover art disagrees.

Resident Evil: Director's Cut
Dual Shock Ver. is no different.

Bonus round

Ignoring ports (where no two are the same), I briefly dissect final remake on DS.

Deadly Silence offered two gameplay modes - Rebirth and Classic.

Latter speaks for itself, and although former is basically Director's Cut, new FPS knife sections utilise stylus and a host of rooms boast exclusive puzzles.

Oh, some areas have more than one type of enemy, which to this day - remains unique.

Anyway.

This is more cosmetic, but still a head-scratcher.

Tyrant CG bizarrely omits Jill/Chris. 
New director Minoru Nakai was unavailable for comment.

End credits doesn't list live-action cast, but 'special appreciation goes out to the original Resident Evil staff!'

Masterful Gamecube remake is up next.

Friday 20 November 2020

Jurassic World - Extended Universe

Not so long ago in a theme park off the coast of Costa Rica....

Jurassic World

The Indominus Escape (2016)

Independent yarn concerns hybrid dinosaurs and the hotdog-addicted I-Rex causing mischief.

Simon Masrani turns to Owen Grady for help.

Of the original cast, only Bryce Dallas Howard and B. D. Wong provide voice talent.

The Secret Exhibit (2018)

Part 1

May 23, 2012
Just after breakfast...

Grady gives chase to 'kid' joyriding in a gyrosphere.

Part 2

May 23, 2012
Just before dinner...

Dennis Nedry's disgruntled nephew Danny Nedermeyer hacks security system and unleashes chaos.

Fun fact.

It's revealed that Grady's dog Red came up with Blue's name.

Oh, title refers to a dinosaur carousel.

Legend of Isla Nublar (2019)

13 episode sequel to TSE is set throughout June and July 2012.

A vengeful Danny hires treasure hunter Sinjin Prescott to find No-Beard's gold so he can open rival park and destroy Jurassic World.

Stand-in actors do a good job and Malcolm, Grant and even Nedry (via VHS recording) make welcome returns.

For whatever reason, last three episodes are set on the same day (15 July).

Two-part special Double Trouble premiered on Nickelodeon on 23 August 2020.

Simon's twin brother Cedric takes control of Jurassic World and installs AI system 'O.O.P.S.I.', spelling trouble for humans.

Meanwhile, Simon's intern Robbie legs it with Wu's Indominus eggs which ultimately hatch and escape.

Along with Claire and Owen, brothers put fractious relationship aside to avert disaster.

Camp Cretaceous (2020)

Six teenagers stranded on Isla Nublar fight for survival when 'attractions' run amok.

First three episodes prequel JW and remaining five run parallel.

Dialogue is forced and shallow characters irritate, but gorgeous animation and perilous situations more than compensate.

Expect second season in January next year.

Fallen Kingdom

Material is sparse in comparison, but whatever.

J. A. Bayona's stupid sequel rehashes Spielberg's The Lost World.

Once Indoraptor escapes, bungled mess becomes a mild version of Alien.

(Rolls eyes).

While official video game adpatation never surfaced, Jurassic World Evolution included various free updates and paid DLC.

Standalone campaign Clarie's Sanctuary was released in June 2019 and had Ms. Dearing return to what's left of Isla Nublar and re-locate the surviving dinosaurs to Sanctuary Island before Mt. Sibo erupts.

Originally debuting on FX and subsequently released online, Battle at Big Rock plays out family surviving an Allosaurus attack.

To commemorate acclaimed live-action short, Update 1.9 in JWE added the Nasutoceratops.

Between November and December 2019, four motion comics dropped.

A Rising Tide
Dinosaur Crossing
The Roar That Rules It All
Dinosaur Territory: Proceed With Caution¹

Each briefly expand on closing sequence of dinos roaming free in various environments, but ¹ takes place after BABR.

Tuesday 17 November 2020

Titles, taglines (and all that jazz) - Chapter 1

Previous instalments exist in an alternative timeline.

Hit & Run and The Simpsons: Hit & Run


Drive Hard and Drive Angry


Mercury Falling (Sting) and Mercury Rising


Hope to Die (James Patterson) and Left to Die


An Enemy to Die For and An Affair to Die For


Paperboy and The Paperboy


Herzog Zwei and Panzer Dragoon II Zwei


Z.W.E.I. (Soulcalibur V)
Formalities over. Cue the mayhem.

Shame the Devil
You lie. You die.
Dead Silence
You scream. You die.
The Master is synonymous with Doctor Who.

Character is also a much lauded 2012 psychological drama starring Joaquin Phoenix, the late Philip Seymour Hoffman and Amy Adams.

And.

Master (Battle Arena Toshinden 2)
On we go.

Byzantium
Beautiful. Seductive. Deadly.
Cat Run
Beautiful Sexy Deadly
Never Say Never is a song by The Fray.

Never Say Never Again is a track by The Bee Gees and Sean Connery's final on-screen appearance as 007.

R.I.P. Sir.

Guess what?

Neverdead and Neverlake


Nevermind (Nirvana) and Nevermore¹ (Paul Gauguin)


¹Final album from band of same name was The Obsidian Conspiracy.

Nevernight (Jay Kristoff) and Neverout


Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday and Alice Cooper Goes to Hell

Creators of 1985 Spectrum maze horror Go to Hell literally reproduced artwork.
No Rest for the Wicked (Ozzy Osbourne and New Model Army)


Oh, album(s) is a track by Saxon.

The Frighteners
No Rest for the Wicked.

No Rest for the Living is an expansion pack when Doom II was released on Xbox Live Arcade and Ain't No Rest for the Wicked forms part of Cage the Elephant's eponymous debut.

Storage
The deeper you go the darker it gets...
Mine Games
The deeper you go the darker it gets
Nightcrawler
The closer you look the darker it gets

Torneko and Star Ocean are The Last Hope for respective franchises.


Going further.

Chappie
Humanity's last hope isn't human
Dark Universe
The last hope for mankind
Pain is so close to pleasure.

Agony² (1992)
²When Dimmu Borgir album StormblĆ„st was originally released in 1996, then-keyboardist Stian Aarstad infamously plagiarised Tim Wright's theme for the track Sorgens Kammer.

Song was subsequently left out when album was re-recorded in 2005.

Agony (2018)
Now for learned friend.

Irvine Welsh's Ecstasy is adapted from short The Undefeated featured in novel Ecstasy: Three Tales of Chemical Romance.
Combining both.

The Agony and the Ecstasy³
³Partly adapted for 1965 film of same name.

Fans of Pokemon will have played X and Y on 3DS.

x&y (Coldplay) and x + y


You've heard of psychological law enforcement tactic 'good cop/bad cop', right?

Nice one.

Good Cop and Bad Cop

War on Everyone
Bad cop. Worse cop.
Bon Cop Bad Cop
Liam Neeson has a split personality in The Lego Movie.

Namely, Bad Cop/Good Cop.


This is quite odd.

The Bye Bye Man
Don't think it. Don't say it.
Evil Dead
Don't say it. Don't write it. Don't hear it!
Eric doesn't heed written warnings inside the Naturom Demonto and utters the incantation "Kunda... Estrata... Montose... Conda..."
Hmmm.

Girls Will Be Girls
Powder Room
Girls will be girls
What's this?

Viewtiful Joe
In this clever spoof of The Sting, Capcom reimagine 1973 classic as His Master's Dance (itself a play on His Master's Voice).
Anyway, Boys will be boys.
Awesome stuff.

Lights, Camera, Action! is a song by American rapper Mr. Cheeks.

The Last Showing
Lights... Camera.. Murder!
The Task
Lights. Camera. Death.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Lights, Camera, Pants!
Animaniacs: Lights, Camera, Action!
The following wish to remain anonymous.

I respect that.

The Man With No Name Trilogy
The Sword With No Name
The Boy With No Name (Travis)
The Man With No Face
Mystery Places: The Town With No Name
Town With No Name
Buried within the Grail diary in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is a map with no names.

Resident Evil
Survive the horror
Survive the Night
The Purge
Survive the night
Sick: Survive the Night
Dolph Lundgren starred in Welcome to Willits (a feature-length version of Welcome to Willits: After Sundown), which was renamed Alien Hunter on DVD.

Check out tagline.

They haven't come in peace.
Although completely unrelated, slogan is eerily opposite to title of 1990 sci-fi yarn I Come in Peace (aka Dark Angel).

Guess who played Det. Caine?

Yeah...

Two more.

Extraterrestrial
They do not come in peace
Man Vs
It has not come in peace
Next up, a cheeky trope.

The Butcher
Rest in pieces
The Final Destination
Rest in pieces
Life in Pieces is a TV series, and on a more light-hearted note:

The Lego Movie: The Second Part
They come in pieces
And.

Inbred
They came in peace...
They left in pieces
It Happens! is the first story of The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror 23.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Dyson's computer monitor is labelled bit happens.
CHiPs⁴
Chip happens
Based on Rick Rosner's TV series of same name.

Life Happens (Candi Station)
Love Happens
Sharknado 2: The Second One
Shark happens!
Stretch
Shift happens.
22 Jump Street
25 Jump Street: A Semester at Sea is one of the many fake posters featured during end credits sequence.
Don't like it? Ship happens.
Finally, an iconic line by Gold Tooth in Predator 2.

But you know what? I tell you what I believe: shit happens!
(Nods in agreement).

Until next time.
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