Ancient series dubbed 'Mysterious malfunctions in miscellany' encompassed all manner of media, but new iteration focuses solely on...
A.W.O.L.
For shits and giggles, unrelated film AWOL (not abbreviated) was released in 2016.
To further confuse matters, my favourite Van Damme vehicle wears several names.
According to sources, a fully uncut version has never been released anywhere in the world, (either on VHS or DVD).
It's suggested that Australian version Wrong Bet rated M (as opposed to more violent R cousin), is identical to UK version.
Although omitting several scenes included in newer releases of Lionheart, French Region 2 DVD Full Contact is considered to be the definitive cut.
Fascinating, right?
Lyon easily defeats James Brewster Thompson's N.Y. "Monster" Fighter.
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| Blood trickles from corner of mouth. |
Not long after.
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| Claret has gone. |
KO.
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| Dude is magically covered in blood. |
More continuity hijinks.
Our man takes on Paco Prieto's vicious Pool Fighter.
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| Note claw mark. |
Cos' upon victory.
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| Wound has disappeared. |
One more.
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| Todays' fight odds are fixed, but Today's would be a dead cert. So Lyonheart faces end boss Atilla? |
End credits beg to differ.
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| Joshua: Is there something I should know about Attila (apart from he's a bad motherfucker?) Cynthia: Yeah, filmmakers can't decide on how to spell his name. Oh, Magic Schwartz's Raquetball Fighter should be Racquetball. |
Here's something to sink your fangs into.
Fright Night (1985)
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| Jerry goes bat-shit crazy and tears into Peter's cheek |
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| The power of self-healing. |
Fright Night Part II
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| Sequel states William Ragsdale's character is Charlie. |
Rewind to original.
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| Charley 'oh so cool' Brewster. |
And there's more.
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| Pyrotechniques? There's no such fucking word. But pyrotechnics rings a bell. |
Fright Night (2011)
Colin Farrell was a decent replacement for Chris Sarandon (who cameos as Jay Dee and bitten by his successor), but McLovin was totally miscast at Evil Ed and don't even get me started on Peter Vincent.
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| Tom Holland did indeed write, but also directed original. |
Fright Night 2: New Blood
Remake's 2013 direct-to-video sequel used all three films as template, resurrected Evil Ed and changed surname from Thompson to Bates.
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| Title card states Fright Night 2. |
But.
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| Bloodless end credits includes subtitle. |
Die Hard
EVERYBODY knows this one.
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| Before it all kicks off, McClane wears a white vest |
Fact remains, but after dropping down from vent.
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| Top has turned green. |
There is NO explanation, and magic trick has gone down in cinema folklore.
Yippee Ki Yay, [censored].
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| Holly's surname is initially Gennaro. |
But when selected.
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| Nakatomi's directory transforms name into Gennero. |
Technology eh?
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| When fleeing from the FBI (who understandably confuse him for a baddie), John jumps to safety. Unfortunately, he's clearly wearing a safety shoe. |
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| Yup, super cop is barefoot again. |
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
Franchise rapidly went downhill from here, and never recovered.
Opening narration states:
"My name is John Connor. They tried to murder me before I was born. When I was 13, they tried again.
Let's rewind to Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
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| Computer confirms troubled delinquent is 10. |
Ironically, Edward Furlong was 13 at the time.
Did they get confused?
In dialogue, he says that 'Cyberdyne was took out over 10 years ago'.
Film is confirmed to be set between 24-25 June 2004.
As T2 took place in 1995, boom time occurred at least 9 years ago.
In this timeline, Linda Hamilton's character died of leukaemia shortly before the 'original' Judgment Day.
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| Sarah Connor 1959 - 1997 No fate but what we make |
The Terminator took place in May 1984 and because Silberman reveals Sarah is 29 in T2, she was brought into this world in 1965.
Yes I'm fully aware that casket only contained weapons.
Here's some nonsense from the T-X.
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| Primary Target guidlines initialized and TX protocol requests aditional buffer channels. Running analysis. Analysis complete. Auto-display result. Spelling mismatch. |
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| Jose Barerra also goes under the alias of Barrera. |
Now it's Arnie's turn.
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| Shoes: No match Shins: No match Thigh: 12567 Breifs: 68344 Enough already. |
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| Probabilty 99% Proceed to probability of mistake - 100% |
Shit gets better.
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| Assessement (frowns) compile. Fit prability (what?) 99.9% |
Don't quite get these final two.
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| AbORT |
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| AUTHORIZEd |
Why are b and d the only letters in lower case?
"Talk to the hand."
Cast Away
Robert Zemeckis' impressive survival drama borrows much from Daniel Defoe's Robinson Crusoe.
Chuck drags Albert Miller's body ashore and takes a peek inside wallet.
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| Driving licence confirms he was born in 1949. |
Okay.
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| But Chuck carves 1950 on makeshift grave. |
Wilson, I'm sorry. WILSSSSSONNNNN!!!!
Street Fighter¹
¹ntbcw The Street Fighter (1974) or Hard Times (1975), initially released in the UK as The Streetfighter.
Gotta laugh.
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| Wes Studi's Sagat wears eyepatch over left eye. |
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| Prior to the events of Street Fighter (1987), Sagat's right eye was gouged out in his fight with Go Hibiki. |
Miscellany
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| Fade to Black (1980) Night of the Living Dead was released in 1968, not 1978. |
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| Followed MYSTERY #5: 73 UNEXPLAINED SUICIDES Of the numerous techniques described on the Hotel Lennox property, 'stabbings in stomaches' raises eyebrows. Not stomachs? Of course not, as that would be correct. |
While mind is still fresher than a retro daisy.
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| Wonder Woman 1984 Near the beginning, amusement arcade features Rampage and Operation Wolf. Games weren't released until 1986 and 1987 respectively. |
Pixels
Like Patrick Jean's 2010 short of same name² travesty was based on, 'sprites' are composed of voxels (3D), not pixels (2D).
²Disturbingly similar to Raiders of the Lost Arcade (segment from Futurama episode Anthology of Interest II).
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| During 1982 Worldwide Video Arcade Championships, onlooker mimics Crane kick. The Karate Kid wasn't released until 1984. |
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| LCD monitors didn't exist in 1982, but futuristic technology replacing CRT screens was done deliberately to make shooting easier, as if not synched correctly, cameras would record a rolling image with line. |
Another example.
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| Captain Marvel (2019) Colourful outing is largely set in 1995, but this restored cabinet (a mistake in itself) of Street Fighter II: Champion Edition also houses a LCD monitor. |
Invading aliens representing Tetris (1984) and Paperboy (1985) is obviously impossible.
Fair enough, it's never explicitly stated when time capsule was launched into space, but because I actively despise this film - I really don't care.
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| The Final Level: Escaping Rancala Rather coincidentally, SF II: CE appears again. |
Image looks pretty 'clear' to me.
Home version was misleadingly retitled Jurassic Island.
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| Despite what box art would have you believe, there is no fucking T-Rex, or any dinosaurs for that matter. |
Until next time.
muy buen aporte me gusto
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