Friday 10 June 2022

Jurassic World: Dominion - The scoop and digest

Colin Trevorrow returns to conclude Jurassic Park's overall storyline.

Chris Pratt - Owen Grady
Bryce Dallas Howard - Claire Dearing
Laura Dern - Dr. Ellie Sattler
Jeff Goldblum - Dr. Ian Malcolm
Sam Neill - Dr. Alan Grant
DeWanda Wise - Kayla Watts
Mamoudou Athie - Ramsay Cole
BD Wong - Dr. Henry Wu
Isabella Sermon - Maisie Lockwood
Campbell Scott - Dr. Lewis Dodgson

Summary

Four years after the events of Fallen Kingdom, or three years after Battle at Big Rock (confirmed to be canon during news report), dinosaurs roaming freely has forced humans to live differently.

Mercenaries hired by Biosyn kidnap Maisie and Blue's baby Beta for research, prompting Owen and Claire to embark on a globe-trotting rescue mission.

Meanwhile, giant locusts secretly engineered with prehistoric DNA threaten an ecological disaster.

Old and younger guard can't be having that now can they?

Joyless

Convoluted, perfunctory and tedious, what the FUCK happened here?

Getting the old band back together raised a smile, but all and sundry just go through the depressing motions and look like they'd rather be somewhere else.

Once in Malta, Bond-esque chase sequence with downgraded Indoraptors wasn't fun or exciting, just stupid.

New big bad Giganotosaurus fighting, but not killing Rexy, means filmmakers only partially raped Dino Crisis 2.

Having said that, principle of monster attacking catwalk is very similar to climax inside missile silo.

Unfortunately, it's not vaporised by a satellite laser, as the claws of Therizinosaurus ends paltry contribution.

(Sigh).

Jurassic Park III and Fallen Kingdom were awful, but the worst was saved until last.

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