Friday 28 October 2022

Barbarian - The scoop and digest

Writer-director Zach Cregger makes us think twice about booking our next Airbnb.

Georgina Campbell - Tess
Bill Skarsgård - Keith
Justin Long - AJ
Matthew Patrick Davis - The Mother
Richard Brake - Frank

Summary

Tess arrives at 476 Barbary Street in Detroit, only to find a man called Keith already there.

She's in town hoping to secure a research position and work for documentary filmmaker Catherine James.

With no hotels available, he let's her stay.

At the interview, Catherine tells her the area isn't safe.

Back at the house, Tess discovers a hidden room containing recording equipment, leading to a secret corridor.  Keith investigates and is brutally killed by a deformed naked woman.

Multiple narratives eventually converge, building to a shocking climax.

Baby baby baby

Something different doesn't always work, but I'm happy to say this begs to differ.

How gross antagonist came to be was definitely unexpected.

In an 80s set flashback sequence, it's revealed house's original owner Frank abducted and raped women in the tunnel, raising subsequent children.

The Mother is the result of an incestuous abomination and probably why she's obsessed with breastfeeding her prey.

Amidst all this, AJ (Barbary's current owner), is sacked from sitcom Chip Off the Block due to allegations of sexual assault by a co-star.

Title is never explained and according to Cregger, just stuck while writing the screenplay.

My interpretation is rundown neighbourhood itself.

Whatever, the pressure's on for next project to deliver the same quality.

Sunday 23 October 2022

V/H/S/99 - The scoop and digest

Ignoring Siren (spin-off and feature length adaptation of Amateur Night), the fifth in main series is a Shudder exclusive.

Shredding

Written and directed by Maggie Levin

Punk rock band R.A.C.K. - named after the initials of bandmates Rachel, Ankur, Chris and Kaleb, break into condemned music venue the Colony Underground, which was gutted by an electrical fire three years ago.

Headlining band Bitch Cat were trampled to death by fans as they tried to escape.

Ankur reveals his fear of the bhuta and mocked for doing so.

Zombified members of Bitch Cat appear and satiate their desire for flesh.

Suicide Bid

Written and directed by Johannes Roberts

In order to be accepted by the campus's sorority, freshman Lily is dared to stay in a coffin overnight at the local cemetery to re-enact an urban legend where another student Giltine was left to die.

Security arrives and the sisters flee.  By now, coffin is submerged and Giltine's corpse forces its way inside.

They come back at dawn and find her missing, pledging not to speak of the incident again.

Shortly after, each awake trapped in separate coffins, and a demonic Lily takes revenge.

Ozzy's Dungeon

Written by Zoe Cooper and Flying Lotus
Directed by Flying Lotus

Title of short is a Legends of the Hidden Temple-esque children's gameshow, with kids challenged to tackle dangerous games for a chance to meet Ozzy, who will make their favourite wish come true.

During the filming of an episode, Donna suffers a terrible leg injury on the final obstacle course, preventing her from becoming the show's inaugural winner.

Years later, Donna's family kidnap the host off-screen and use homemade versions of Ozzy's games to torture and humiliate him.

But the tables are turned when he takes them to the mysterious Ozzy.

The Gawkers

Written by Chris Lee Hill and Tyler MacIntyre
Directed by Tyler MacIntyre

Young boys Kurt, Mark and Boner begin to secretly film Sandra.

They are horrified to discover that beautiful woman is actually a gorgon.

To Hell and Back

Written and directed by Vanessa and Joseph Winter

On New Year's Eve, Nate and Troy watch a group of witches perform a ritual on a woman called Kristen as an offering to entity Ukabon.

At midnight, a humanoid demon named Fercus gatecrashes the party and before being cast out, drags Nate and Tony into hell.

After seeing the sights, tortured soul Mabel proves to be most useful.

Grisly fun

Quality definitely varies, but no segment is particularly bad.

For the record, I'd rate Suicide Bid as the best and The Gawkers the worst.

On a hilarious note, principle of how Ozzy is born (or emerges) from the body of an obese woman is identical to Norris in The Thing (1982).

Practical creature effects are consistently impressive, a generous amount of blood is spilled and performances are generally decent.

V/H/S/85 was secretly shot back-to-back and will be released next year.

Can't wait.

Saturday 15 October 2022

Halloween Ends - The scoop and digest

David Gordon Green's trilogy comes to a close.

Jamie Lee Curtis - Laurie Strode
Andi Matichak - Allyson
James Jude Courtney - The Shape
Rohan Campbell - Corey Cunningham
Will Patton - Frank Hawkins

Summary

Halloween Night 2019.

21-year-old Corey Cunningham is hired to babysit Jeremy who locks him in the attic and won't let him out.  Enraged, Corey kicks the door in, accidentally causing wee lad to fall over the balcony to his death.

Three years later.

Laurie lives with Allyson, writing her memoirs and trying to lead a normal life.

Corey, who was released without charge, is hated by Haddonfield.

One night, he's taunted by kids and knocked sparko when thrown over a bridge.

We discover that Michael has been living in a sewer for the past four years and attacks randomers for shits and gigs.

Unfortunately, he doesn't wear a coloured headband or seen eating pizza.

Corey is dragged inside adoptive home and forced to look into the devil's eyes.

There's a new boogeyman in town.

Dark path

Apart from the opening 10 minutes, boring teenage romance was absolute DOGSHIT.

In The Return of Michael Myers, Jamie Lloyd (Michael's niece in that timeline), was influenced by uncle after touching his hand.

On a grander scale, that's basically the plot.

We came to watch Michael, not the Corey fucking Cunningham show.

Lots of stupid things happen in disjointed mess, but Corey overpowering Michael and taking mask by force was hilarious.

Horror icon cuts a very pathetic figure and has very little screen time until the much hyped showdown.

At Laurie's house, Michael snaps accomplice's neck and retrieves his mask.

After a brief struggle, Laurie pins Michael to a table with a knife in each hand.  She removes mask and slits his throat.  In a final act of defiance, he tries to strangle her, but Allyson's convenient intervention allows Laurie to slash his wrist.

Body is fed to scrapyard's industrial shredder in a midnight procession.

Really?

A more satisfying climax would be Michael and Laurie dying fighting each other, then we'd have ultimate closure.

Unfortunately, I'm not in charge.

A few things of note.

The only other time Laurie (really Angel Myers) kills Michael is in the theatrical version of Rob Zombie's Halloween II.

Resurrection is collectively also set four years after H20.

Finally, Michael bows out aged 65.  James Jude Courtney is currently the same age.

Coincidence?

Thursday 13 October 2022

Silent Hill 2 - Ordinary Vanity

One of the greatest video games of all time is also depressing as fuck.

But you're here for something else.

Authors

As per original, streets are named after famous wordsmiths.

Sandford St. - John Sandford
Nathan Ave. - Robert Nathan
Martin St. - David Martin
Katz St. - William Katz
Vachss Rd. - Andrew Vachss
Carroll¹ St. - Jonathan Carroll
Harris St. - Thomas Harris
Rendell St. - Ruth Rendell
Wiltse Rd. - David Wiltse
Sanders St. - Lawrence Sanders
Neely St. - Richard Neely
Lindsey St. - David Lindsey
Saul St. - John Saul
Munson St. - Richard Munson

¹Or Lewis Carroll.

Likeness

Eddie Dombrowski² vs Pvt. Pyle - Full Metal Jacket


²Name is likely an amalgam of Eddie Koliknikov (The Door to December) and Louise Dombrowski (Twin Peaks).

Con Air

Somebody took the bunny out of the box.

'Mary' vs Tricia


Laura vs Casey


Films

Shit just got more exciting.

Pet Semetary

Rebirth ending
James takes Mary's body across Toluca Lake to a church on an island hoping to revive her.
Circumstances are obviously different, but idea smacks of Louis burying Rachel to resurrect recently deceased wife.
Ring

well gives player the first opportunity to save progress.


Random?

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

James does his best Leatherface impression.


Blue Velvet

Blue Creek Apartment is clearly modelled on Dorothy's apartment.
James hides in a closet, just like Jeffrey.


Rather than raping, I'd say Red Pyramid Head 'abuses' a mannequin.
Dennis Hopper's demented Frank Booth beats and sexually assaults Dorothy.
Monsters

Flesh Lip
Boss was inspired by Isamu Noguchi's Death (Lunched Figure) and Jacob's Ladder.


Head-shaking torso is taken directly from Joel-Peter Witkin's Leo (Indulgences).
Mouth located in crotch represents Mary's yap.
Close-up was probably based on:

Three Studies for Figures at the Base of a Crucifixion (central panel) - Francis Bacon 
Coming full circle.

Mary
Mannequin vs The Doll (Maquette for the Doll's Games) - Hans Bellmer


Masahiro Ito insists that design stemmed from traditional Japanese folklore, but he's never gone into specifics.

Literature

Fyodor Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment deals with the consequences and psychological trauma of committing murder.

Maria is a manifestation of Mary.  She was created from James's delusions and his subconscious desire of being punished for murdering his wife.

Strikingly similar to the former, yes?

Excluding epilogue, novel comes in six parts.

What's this?

Free the Innocent Man
Six men. Six crimes. All hung. Justice and revenge have been served. 
A far less acknowledged influence is Stanislaw Lem's Solaris.

1961 book was adapted for the screen three times, most famously from the genius of Andrei Tarkovsky in 1972.

Psychologist Kelvin is visited by his dead wife Hari (who committed suicide 10 years ago) and learns that Solaris Station orbiting titular oceanic planet created 'visitor' from his memories of her.

Both James and Hari stare into a mirror.


In Water ending

"Without you, Mary, I've got nothing..."

James commits suicide by driving his car into the lake.

"Now we can be together."

Cheerful stuff.

Thinking about it, Toluca Lake bears a resemblance to sentient alien planet.

Miscellany

Lyne house key pays homage to Adrian Lyne.
Three music boxes are required to solve a puzzle at Lakeview Hotel.
Locations relate to their stories.
Little Mermaid - found at the garden fountain (she lived in water).
Snow White - inside a pantry (near apples and pumpkins).
Cinderella - locked inside a trunk (she was imprisoned in her room).
Not sure why, but lock's combination is 'kill' (revealed by using thinner on a nearby photograph).
When each are placed correctly, you'll get the hotel stairwell key.

On a wall, the eagle-eyed will spot Jack Nicholson's face and/or defaced poster of The Shining.


Personal best

Rotating cube vs Bedtime Story - Madonna video


Abstract Daddy vs The Pianotaure - André Masson


The Changeling

Ghost stories don't come much better than Peter Medak's horror classic.

Historical Society


Burning staircase


Until the next thrilling instalment.

Sunday 9 October 2022

Hellraiser - The scoop and digest

David Bruckner reboots titular franchise and also re-imagines Clive Barker's novella The Hellbound Heart, which of course was the basis for Hellraiser.

Odessa A'zion - Riley
Jamie Clayton - The Priest
Adam Faison - Colin
Drew Starkey - Trevor
Brandon Flynn - Matt
Aoife Hinds - Nora
Goran Višnjić - Roland Voight

Summary

After his lawyer Serena Menaker buys a rare object in Belgrade, hedonistic occultist Roland Voight hosts a swanky orgy in Massachusetts.

Sex worker Joey is coaxed into a private room and solves a puzzle box, getting hooked for his troubles.

For delivering latest sacrifice, Voight demands an audience with Leviathan.

Six years later, recovering drug addict Riley and her boyfriend Trevor break into an abandoned warehouse and steal a certain box.

Later, she manages to solve it, but unlike Joey, avoids getting cut by the blade.  The Cenobites appear, demanding she pass it on to somebody else.

The carnage begins.

Not a complete waste of good suffering

Undoubtedly the best since Hellbound, but...

Only those ignorant to source material will take issue with 'Pinhead' being female, as Barker described things as 'sexless', so androgynous.  Frank himself had difficulty associating gender with any.

Fans will know concept isn't new, as Kirsty became a Cenobite in Part Four of Boom! Studios 2011 comic story Requiem, specifically issue 8.

Clayton's performance is acceptable, but incomparable to Doug Bradley.

While leather will always remain iconic, flesh gets a thumbs up and along with a new look Chatterer, new friends The Weeper, The Gasp and The Asphyx are worthy of gruesome lore.

The Mother and The Masque look stupid though.

Blood is spilled, but more could've been shown on-screen.

I loved everything about the box and the many shapes it takes.

Configurations:

Lament - Life
Lore - Knowledge
Lauderant - Love
Liminal - Sensation
Lazarus - Resurrection
Leviathan - Power

Okay, do the positives outweigh the negatives?

Let's find out.

There is no real plot development and characters are without backstories.

Bunch of disposable twenty-somethings are beyond fucking annoying and even before shit hits the fan, persistently shout at each other.

Consequently, I didn't give a shit if Cenobait lived or died.

Also, acting is largely subpar.

Climax inside Voight's house seriously lacks the isolated dread of 55 Ludovico Place and gave off the confusing vibe of Thirteen Ghosts.

Nearly two hours is too long and scenes are padded out.

Voight transforming into a new Cenobite leaves hell's door open and it'll be interesting to see what sights will be shown next.

Wednesday 5 October 2022

Smile - The scoop and digest

Rather than The Hidebehind, Parker Finn, in his directorial debut, chooses to give short Laura Hasn't Slept the feature length treatment.

Sosie Bacon - Dr. Rose Cotter
Kyle Gallner - Joel
Caitlin Stasey - Laura Weaver
Jessie T. Usher - Trevor

Summary

Dr. Rose Cutter chats with student Laura Weaver, who after witnessing her professor commit suicide, claims only she can see a smiling entity which takes on the form of others.

Laura starts grinning and slits her throat with a broken vase shard.

From hereon in, Rose is terrorised by a malevolent presence and discovers she's contracted a curse.

It looks like people

Right off the bat, this is nothing like Blumhouse's unintentionally hilarious Truth or Dare.

Serious tone and ominous atmosphere are complemented by strong performances and a screenplay that resists slicing cheese.

Impressive sound design helps build tension and boo moments are largely effective.

Undoubtedly the most disturbing sequence is Rose's vision of her brutally stabbing a smiler while a doctor excitedly carves off his face.

Skinless demon's mouth containing a Russian doll-esque nest of grins receives my seal of approval.

While pretty good overall, I have multiple beefs.

Rose's sister's head barely hanging onto neck is virtually identical to a scene in Argentinian spook fest Terrified.

It's revealed the only way to break the chain is to kill somebody in front of a witness and the curse will be transferred.

So apart from whiffing of Ring, Ju-On etc, this reeks to high fucking heaven of cult favourite It Follows.

The only difference is death replacing sex.

If I was David Robert Mitchell, I'd be on the blower to my legal team.

Monday 3 October 2022

Halloween - The Night Mistakes Came Home

Before Halloween Ends hits the big screen (and Peacock for a limited period), I take a visual and descriptive look at the entire franchise.

Halloween (1978)

Fifteen years after murdering his sister Judith on Halloween night 1963, Michael Myers escapes Smith's Grove Sanitarium and resumes killing spree in hometown.

The devil incarnate should be 21, but end credits beg to differ.

Michael age 23
This was never fixed, not even in later releases.

Halloween II (1981)

Sequel picks up immediately after original ends.

Check out the comparison of indentation left by Michael after Loomis shot him off the balcony.


Filmmakers apparently used instant grass.

Laurie is admitted to Haddonfield Memorial Hospital through an automaic door.
Funny.

End credits still insist Michael is 23.
What's worse, Loomis says he's 21 in dialogue.
How, what and why?

Night of the Living Dead was released in 1968, not 1978.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Third outing was supposed to kick off an anthology series, but things didn't work out.

Ahead of 'The Big Giveaway', Daniel (Tom Atkins) is kidnapped by Dan O'Herlihy's loopy Cochran.

7.30 P.M.
But almost immediately after.

7:46
Next.

7:47 is fine.
Less than 15 seconds later.

7:49
10 seconds pass.

7:50
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

Due to predecessor's poor showing at the box office, Michael and Loomis's deaths were retconned.

We're told that Loomis shot Michael six times (correct), then set him on fire.  Latter statement isn't strictly true, as he merely caused oxygen tank to explode.

As screenwriters ref sequel, they inexplicably 'forgot' Mikey boy took another seven bullets.

Five from Loomis and two by Laurie in each eye, totalling thirteen.

Guess after ten years comatose, mince pies 'grew' back and flesh regenerated.

Even though he was blown up and/or burned alive, Loomis miraculously only suffered facial burns.

SmithGrove should be Smith's Grove.
'Spacing' is their problem, not ours.

Police and Sheriff are two different law enforcement agencies.

Sheriff Meeker leads his deputies.
As such, livery should display Sheriff, not Police.
Myers, Michael M
Nope, it's A for Audrey.
Middle name was first revealed in Curtis Richards' 1979 novelisation of original and presumably inspired an additional scene (set 1 May 1964) in extended 1981 TV version.

I know 'M' could stand for anything, but for shits and giggles, Judith's middle name is Margaret.

End credits list Leslie L. Rohland's character Lindsey as Leslie.
Oops.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

Haddonfield Childrens Clinic
Establishment is an apostrophe short of a plaque.
The Myers house has transformed into a mansion.


Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

HALLOWEEN MURDER
Local Tot Kills Older Sister
Article talks about the Mayor diplomatically keeping a low profile, so nothing to do with headline
Jamie Lloyd Feared Dead in Police Station Massacre
3 November 1959 fell on a Tuesday, not Friday.
Article speaks of public hearings, so again, total bollocks.
Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later

Laurie (going under the name of Keri Tate) tells Will Brennan that Michael murdered Judith when she was 17.

Flashing back.

November 10 1947 - October 31 1963
Gravestone confirms she was only 15.
Title sequence takes centre stage.

Longtime Haddonfield resident Laurie Strode, survivor of the so-called "Halloween" mass murders in 1968, was killed yesterday in an auto accident.
Year so horny, 1978 love you long-time.

Article mentions Michael Meyers (twice).
As Americans usually graduate in May or June, this should be Class of '79
And.

In Memory of DONALD PLEASANCE
Not Pleasence?

Totally disrespectful.

Halloween: Resurrection

At the time of initial release, executive producers Malek and Moustapha Akkad claimed 'JLC was so impressed with the screenplay, that she wanted a large part in it.'

The truth is contract forced her to.

Harold, the guy in clown mask, states John Wayne Gacy died on May 7 1998.  Notorious serial killer was executed by lethal injection on May 10 1994.

Excuse for shitquel is that Laurie actually beheaded a paramedic at the end of H20, as Michael earlier stole his clothes and crushed larynx.

Jesus Christ!

Note eyes are open.
In a new scene.

Unmasked, eyes wide closed.
Opening titles misspell surname of Katee Sackhoff as Sachoff.
End credits don't replicate goof.

Email address ends .org, but should be .edu.
Halloween (2007)

Rob Zombie's re-imagining begins on October 31.  Year isn't revealed, but guess the early 90's.

A 10-year-old Michael goes on an extended killing spree and 11 months later, is found guilty of first degree murder and transferred to Smith's Grove.

When Michael kills a nurse during a visit, his mother Deborah commits suicide.

Some 35 minutes in, we jump fifteen years, where Michael escapes.

Here's the problem.

On Halloween night, Brackett tells Loomis about 17 years ago he responded to a 911 that turned out to be about the Myers woman.

Halloween II (2009)

Sequel is primarily set two years later and significantly ups the gore.

There's no suggestion this iteration of Michael is supernatural, so how did he survive Laurie shooting him in the face at point-blank range without bearing any injury?

During Loomis's book signing, Lynda's father furiously tells him that Michael butchered his daughter.  In truth, he strangled her.

Film introduces the phenomenon of White Horse, which is driving Michael to kill.  Visions are represented by his mother with titular beast and younger self.

Laurie (really Michael's long-lost sister Angel Myers), also hallucinates mother and wee brother.

This makes no sense, as she never met either at that point in their lives.

Halloween (2018)

The first in David Gordon Green's trilogy created the fifth and final timeline, set 40 real-time years after John Carpenter's original.

A notice at Smith's Grove reads:
Please insure that all items are logged in the book before dropping
Next time, please ensure that a dictionary is used.

Thank you.

Halloween Kills

Evil dies tonight!

Tell us again and we'll fucking know about it.

Film imagines and plays out how Michael was apprehended in 1978.

Uniform displays Warren County, paying homage to Halloween II (1981).
But that doesn't exist in this timeline.

Livery should just be County.
It gets better.

Cornered and with nowhere to go, Michael makes no attempt to escape.
Considering Loomis shot him six times, why isn't there any blood or damage to his clothes?
Also, phone number on sign 555-0179.
In the original, it's 555-3679.
Ranbir Sartain was born in Izmir, Turkey and died in Haddonfield, Illinois.
Toe tag should read Place of Birth, not Place of Death.
Finally.

Film uses archival footage of Annie in Halloween II (1981), but as already mentioned...
Also, Night of the Living Dead (2016).
Err, what?
VHS box art

Bonus round start.

Halloween

Anchor Bay Entertainment - 1987
On a black and unholy Halloween night years ago, little Michael Meyers brutally slaughtered his sister in cold blood.
M.I.A Video - 1996

On "Trick of Treat" night, Michael Myers escapes from the Illinois State Mental Institution in which he has been forcibly detained for the past 15 years, for the brutal murder of his sister.
Personally, I think Smith's Grove Sanatarium sounds better.
In the process Michael Myers, an assassin so mysterious and dehumanised, starts taking on supernatural attributes.
Whoa, this was never confirmed and left ambiguous.
Running time 93 mins approx.
In actuality, it's 91.
But more amusing is this.
© 1974 Compass International Pictures Inc,
Year is obviously wrong and defunct studio wasn't founded until 1977.
Media Home Entertainment Inc. - 1982

Color/90 Minutes and Michael Meyers.
Tape's label states 92 Minutes.
WTF?

Halloween II - Roadshow Home Video - 1981

Halloween 2
Australian distributor couldn't even get title right.

More of the night "he" came home! Continuing the gruesome terror of Halloween, "he" is still alive. In the semi-darkness of a hospital room she's alone... but not for long! In the ghostly, echoing corridors the murders continue.
Why is "he" and she (less speech marks - weird) not Michael Myers and Laurie Strode?

Did they have some kind of copyright problem?

Going off track, the instructions of Halloween on the Atari 2600 describe MM as a homicidal maniac and LS as the babysitter.

Special Edition Double Feature - M.I.A Video - 1992

Both films on one tape. Bargain.
But why does cover only feature Halloween?
Reverse. Reverse.

Michael Meyers and 90 Minutes.
Michael Meyers and 90 Minutes.
Sequel is 92 minutes.
Halloween III: SOTW - M.I.A Video - 2000

A patient is brutally murdered in hospital; the atttacker is promptly incinerated when his vehicle blows up in the car park.
Magnificenttt.

Halloween 4
Like all promotional material, this is not the mask used.
Same thing applies to Halloween 5.
Halloween: TCOMM - Cinema Club - 1995

Haddonfield is ready to celebrate Halloween - so is Mike Myers
Christian name is never abbreviated.

H20 - Hollywood Pictures Home Video - 1998

In a dramatic turn of events, fault lies with critic's opinion (and printing).
"Its Plain And Simply The Scariest Movie In Years" Total Film
It's wrong man.

Halloween: Resurrection - Buena Vista Home Entertainment Ltd - 2002

Jamie Lee Curtis is clearly lifted from H20.
Shaggy appearance is 'slightly' different to what we're led to believe.
This is the only time Laurie officially dies on-screen.

Could that change?

All will be revealed on 14 October.
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