The Bikeriders - The scoop and digest

Inspired by Danny Lyon's 1967 photo-book of same name, Jeff Nichols writes and directs.

Jodie Comer - Kathy

Austin Butler - Benny

Tom Hardy - Johnny

Michael Shannon - Zipco

Mike Faist - Danny Lyon

Norman Reedus - Funny Sonny

Emory Cohen - Cockroach

Toby Wallace - The Kid

Summary

At a laundromat in 1965, Danny Lyon begins interviewing Kathy, who tells him how she met Vandals Motorcycle member Benny (whom she subsequently marries) and Club's President Johnny at a bar.

As the Club grows, word gets around.

The Renegades enter the fray, and their leader, a troubled young man known as 'The Kid' makes his presence known.

Part way through, film jumps to Kathy's final interview in 1973, recalling how two men nearly severed Benny's foot with a shovel.

Johnny's rivalry with The Kid comes to a head.

Beer drinkers and pot smokers

Those expecting 2 hours of greasers kicking lumps out of each other will be sorely disappointed.

Yes there are some fisticuffs, but the heartbeat of love triangle is the chemistry between Johnny and Benny.

Father figure relationship kinda smacks of Paul Cicero and Henry Hill in Goodfellas.

Performances from leads are superb, with Jodie Comer probably coming out on top.

While immediately comparable to The Loveless, this is all about The Wild One.

Johnny is seen watching Marlon Brando on television and immediately starts impersonating him.

Accent can be hilarious, but in a good way.

Oh, Butler is blatantly James Dean.

Something in the Water - The scoop and digest

Hayley Easton Street's feature-length directorial debut is written by Cat Clarke.

Hiftu Quasem - Meg

Natalie Mitson - Kayla

Nicole Rieko Setsuko - Cam

Lauren Lyle - Lizzie

Ellouise Shakespeare-Hart - Ruth

Gabriel Prevost-Takahashi - Dominic

Summary

One year after Kayla and Meg were assaulted by homophobes, they, along with other friends Ruth and Cam, head to the Caribbean for Lizzie's wedding.

Before she marries Dominic, bridezilla and co take a motorboat to an isolated island for one final blowout.

While in shallow water, Ruth's leg is badly bitten by a shark and panic ensues.

After boat is driven into a cluster of rocks, vessel sinks, leaving girlies stranded at sea.

The battle for survival begins.

Fan-fucking-tastic Five

Open Water garnished with The Shallows could've worked, but piss poor execution ensures shit doesn't.

Performances are terrible, script is woeful, and because dumb characters are so unlikable, I couldn't wait for everybody to die.

Sadly, not all of them do.

As for the shark, CG makes Sharknado look top notch.

If only this was a comedy...

Inside Out 2 - The scoop and digest

From a screenplay by Meg LeFauve and Dave Holstein, Kelsey Mann (who also conceived story with LeFauve), makes his directorial debut.

Amy Poehler - Joy

Maya Hawke - Anxiety

Kensington Tallman - Riley

Liza Lapira - Disgust

Tony Hale - Fear

Lewis Black - Anger

Phyliss Smith - Sadness

Ayo Edebiri - Envy

Lilimar - Valentina

Adèle Exarchopoulos - Ennui

Paul Walter Hauser - Embarrassment

Summary

Riley has just turned 13 and about to enter high school.

Joy, Anger, Disgust and Sadness have since created a new section of Riley's mind called 'Sense of Self', which stores memories and feelings that make up her core personality.

For their exploits on the ice, Riley, and her besties Bree and Grace, are invited to a hockey camp for the weekend, giving Riley the opportunity to play for the Firehawks.

The night before, a Puberty alarm sounds and a group of mind workers upgrade the emotion console.

Subsequently, four new emotions are created: Anxiety, Embarrassment, Envy and Ennui, who set about using negative memories to corrupt Riley's mind.

Joy and co embark on a mission to regain control.

Mid-credits

Deep Dark Secret reveals to Joy that Riley lied about burning her mother's rug.

Return to Imagination Land

Messy yes, but as adolescence is such a chaotic ride, maybe that was the point.

Whatever, it's still a worthy sequel.

Due to pay disputes, some voice actors have been changed

Tony Hale (Fear) replaces Bill Hader, Liza Lapira (Disgust) comes in for Mindy Kaling and Kaitlyn Dias steps aside for Kensington Tallman (Riley).

Weird as it is, Anxiety (albeit with a different hairstyle), looks eerily similar to Angelica Pickles of Rugrats fame.

But Riley's video game crush Lance Slashblade is a nailed-on parody of Final Fantasy VII's Cloud Strife.

A Game of Sources - Final Battle

Presenting the epic conclusion.

Ninja Commando (1992)

Joe Tiger vs Jean-Claude Van Damme

Now let's look at cover as a whole.

Spider's face appears to be based on Lord Donjo in Ninja Wars (1982).

What's this?

It's possible that hand and face (by Bruce Pennington) was modelled on the 1964 edition of Edgar Rice Burroughs' Master Mind of Mars.

Dangerous Streets (1993) vs Mean Streets¹ (1989)

Yeah, the woman.

¹Apart from title, this is completely unrelated to Martin Scorsese's 1973 film of same name.

Artist obviously based Tex Murphy on Val Kilmer.

Whether coincidence or not, females smack of:

Pin-up 11 - Hajime Soroyama

Finally.

North American cover vs Blade Runner

Crime Wave (1990)

While box art was surely by the same person, game is not a sequel to Mean Streets and actually a shitty Narc clone.

Guy with beret vs Dalton - Road House

But what's really weird is that Arnie lookalike 'inspired' the poster for an overrated blockbuster.

True Lies (1994)

(Laughs).

Devil World (1987) vs Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)

Christie (Lucinda Dickey) - Ninja III: The Domination (1984) vs Luke Skywalker

The Last Ninja, Last Ninja 2: Back with a Vengeance vs Eyes and Mask

Silent Dragon (1992)

Cityscape - Akira

Dr. Bio vs Joker - Batman: The Killing Joke

Third boss vs Jagi - Fist of the North Star

Joe (left) and Lee (right) vs The Big Brawl and Jackie Chan Digest²

²1983 Japanese 14-track promo sample vinyl LP features songs from various films including Kung Fu Express, The Young Master and Cannonball.

And.

Gang Wars (1989)
We already know where source for Jackie (no joke) came from.

The Town with No Name (1992)

Initially released for the short-lived Commodore CDTV, Delta 4's action point-and-click was either a sick joke or an ironic piss take.

Still, there's fun to be had.

Back to the Future Part III

The Man with No Name vs Clint Eastwood

Flying train

For a Few Dollars More

Manco

Rather than a cigarillo, this guy smokes a fucking tampon.

Colonel Douglas Mortimer

Pocket watch

Miscellany

Crassio is a parody of Casio.

The Hole-in-the-Head Gang are game's main antagonists.

While name is surely a play on Wild West's Hole-in-the-Wall Gang (circa 1880-1890s), real life Chicago Outfit mob enforcer Anthony "The Ant" Spilotro formed another Hole in the Wall Gang when he moved to Las Vegas in 1971.

He was the basis for Joe Pesci's character Nicky Santoro in Martin Scorsese's 1995 crime epic Casino, adapted from Nicholas Pileggi's non-fiction novel Casino: Love and Honor in Las Vegas.

Oh, nearly forgot.

Evil Eb vs The Outlaw Josey Wales

Later known as Merit Studios Europe and Eutechnyx, British company, between 1987-1994, began as Zeppelin Games.

Fist Fighter (1993) vs Angel Town (1990)

Illustrative plagiarism at its best.

But that's nothing compared to what happened a year earlier.

Arnie (1992)

Despite title, isometric shmup is not based on Schwarzenegger, or any of his films.

Anyway boys and girls, for the first time EVER on the internet...

They traced Olivier Gruner's head and stuck it on Chuck Norris' body (including Uzi) from Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990).

Altogether now - WHAT THE FUCK?

Arnie 2 was similar, but not as blatant.

Trilogy never came to fruition.

Awww.

Bad Boys: Ride or Die - The scoop and digest

Adil & Billal return to direct fourth instalment.

Will Smith - Mike Lowery

Martin Lawrence - Marcus Burnett

Vanessa Hudgens - Kelly

Alexander Ludwig - Dorn

Paola Núñez - Rita

Eric Dane - James McGrath

Ioan Gruffudd - Adam Lockwood

Joe Pantoliano - Captain Howard

Dennis Greene - Reggie

Summary

As Mike marries his physical therapist Christine, Marcus suffers a heart attack and slips into a coma, where he has a vision of Captain Conrad telling him 'it is not his time'.

From this moment on, Marcus believes he cannot die.

Soon after, it's reported that Conrad was involved in drug cartels, which Mike and Marcus don't buy for a second.

While they attempt to clear his name, wisecracking cops become fugitives, with conspirators placing a huge bounty on their heads.

Baby souls

Although stunningly predictable, this delivers the goods.

The chemistry between Smith and Lawrence remains strong, with the latter being the comedic highlight.

Action is ridiculous, but pretty solid.

The star attraction inside abandoned amusement park (which temporarily goes FPS) is Duke, the legendary albino alligator.

And yeah, beastie enjoys a tasty meal.  

Unlucky Lockwood.

For the record, climatic setting is the same principle as the critically panned Beverly Hills Cop III.

I'm sure box office success will convince Hollywood to greenlight another, but shit will need to happen before leads get too old for this shit.

A Game of Sources - First Battle

Here's what happens when a bunch of random shit is thrown inside a blender.

Fuck the banality of strawberry, vanilla and chocolate etc, as the following shakes taste like no other.

Clash of the Ninjas (1986) vs Cobra and American Ninja (background)

Hmmm, curious.

Tormented (2009)

Queen - Sheer Heart Attack

Bradley (Alex Pettyfer) vs Begbie (Robert Carlyle) - Trainspotting poster

Lady Sword (1992)

Conan the Barbarian

Princess Leia - Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi and Skeksis Chamberlain - The Dark Crystal

Freedom Force (1988)

Sharpshooter vs Magnum Force vs Rutger Hauer (with Max Headroom's hairstyle)

Err, yeah.

IK+ (1987)

Original cover art faded into obscurity.

Shit was redone in 1988 for 16 bits and used for subsequent budget re-releases from The Hit Squad.

Above the Law aka Nico

Believe or not, Steven Seagal was actually popular at the time.

As for the others.

Chuck Norris - American Karate (September 1988) vs Jean-Claude Van Damme

Of course, they never fought in real life.

Yie Ar Kung-Fu II (1986)

Lee Young vs Bruce Lee - Game of Death

Li Jen vs Ming the Merciless

Wei Chin vs Robert Shaw

Jim Power in Mutant Planet (1992)

Protagonist vs JCVD

Now shit kicks off.

Emil Antonowsky - Robocop

Zombified Michael Jackson - Thriller

Jet Pac

Similar, yes?

Keeping things extremely simple, Contra was released for home computers as Gryzor in 1988.

Bob Wakelin's cover got around.

Predator

Also.

Background was taken from the original Japanese flyer for Contra.

When interviewed about iconic piece, the great man said:

"My art was originally done for Gryzor - the 'Alien' style background was pasted in Ocean's studio, taken from the original Contra which has different characters in the foreground. Then my Gryzor characters on new incarnations of the Contra game. Yes, a lot of illustrative plagiarism went on in the early games industry, mostly due to the ridiculous deadlines most people were working to. The same thing applied to the games themselves... "if it sells, copy it!"

Ironically, it was Wakelin who came out on top.

Purple Heart

Xybots

Devastators (1988) vs Rambo III

I'm suspicious of tilted head.

Finally.

Contra Spirits/Contra III: The Alien Wars

Did Konami model stage 4 complete screen on Arnie or Wakelin?

We'll never know.