Nukes and Knives™: November 2012

Quit that sobbing and begin celebrating as I’m hungry, very hungry. Actually, I’m rather starving.

To cure this sudden urge of potentially eating myself out of house and home, I nipped downstairs and what began as a nibble, turned into a right royal feast as it appears the munchies have taken a strangle hold.

During this chompathon, another outcome was seemingly inevitable

It will be every bit as tasty as a lump of cheese complemented by a glass of the finest vintage.

So let’s eat (swallow), drink (gulp) and relax (enjoy).

Tapes ‘n Tapes announced SWM and Surfer Blood went for a Swim.

Whatever you say about Milk Maid, you’re Dead Wrong.

If you are ever Singled Out in life, take heart that New Found Glory is used to it.

I don’t want to make Waves but how can you not with Yeasayer?

American Hi-Fi became a Beautiful Disaster, Sum 41 are a Walking Disaster and The Wombats can’t help been Walking Disasters.

Would That Not be Nice and Wouldn't It be Nice are songs by Divine Fits and The Beach Boys.

I can give Reasons Why to almost anything but Toy becomes a problem.

Ultrasound experience Beautiful Sadness, Suede are Beautiful Ones and Supergrass became really Beautiful People.

I got myself into a right pickle the other day with the wife. Wanna hear why? Oh go on then.

It was normal enough at first as I hollered Darling but when she didn’t reply, I tried again with Honey Bunny.

She naturally assumed I was talking to her but the shit really hit the fan when I said I was actually referring to Girls. The inevitable question followed in regards to who or even they.

When I stated Laura and Lauren Marie, she blew her top and accused me of participating in a threesome. The usual hysterical bullshit followed and before I could give a rational explanation, I was left to ponder my thoughts and regret my course of action by spending a hellish night on the sofa.

The following day I did wriggle out of it by stating that they made me Vomit as I sought Forgiveness. As if like Magic, things were sorted without even spilling the beans of what started this whole kerfuffle.

When there’s an Election Day, seek Polar Bear Club for a front seat view.

Daddy’s Speeding and Daddy’s Junk are tracks by Suede and Two Wounded Birds respectively.

Blood Speaks where money doesn’t talk. Smoke Fairies are frequently caught having a conversation with an open wound.

3,6,9 and what comes next? I haven’t a clue as Cat Power didn’t get that far.

I maybe among the Minority but Green Day just don’t do it for me.

If you listen to The Distractions, that could be quite a Wise move.

In the Trees and Into the Trees are songs by Cemeteries and Still Corners respectively.

I couldn’t sleep the other night so I played Mystery Jets. Some other experiencing a similar problem attempted to chew the fat but I politely pointed out that it’s Too Late to Talk.

Low are in with Pretty People, Biffy Clyro and No Doubt met Different People and Pulp had a blast with Common People. Switching to films, Funny People, Ordinary People and Ruthless People are all met with different emotions.

If you achieve Straight A’s, this accolade is either just showing off or Crystal Castles.

I found New Found Glory and what a wonderful Understatement.

The Hundred in the Hands suggest when attempting a screw shot in snooker, you should Keep it Low.

Incubus offer shelter Under my Umbrella and I don’t really want to get into what Rihanna can do with her Umbrella.

There are so many Holes in Mercury Rev; they should be a tea strainer.

If you don’t scream On Guard when challenging Atlas Sound to a scrap, it will be an unfair scuffle.

Shoot the Poets and Shoot the Runner are songs by The Cribs and Kasabian respectively.

The Raveonettes will Curse the Night, Lady Gaga seems determined to Marry the Night and The Hundred in the Hands insist that you Stay the Night.

Colombia is a song by Oasis and Colombiana is a 2011 action film.

I wonder if Throwing Bones is all it’s cracked up to be? Anyway, it was popularized by The Phantom Band.

I’m not been selfish but Portishead are All Mine and Ocean Colour Scene is All Up for anything.

If You’re Changing, it’s advisable to keep White Denim at arm’s length.

The Automatic insist that You Shout You Shout You Shout You Shout. Twice is enough and four times is a bit extreme.

I better use that Silver Tongue to good effect as I’m out on the pull tonight. I failed absolutely miserably and consequently burned all my Young Knives albums.

Ultrasound is complete Nonsense and Cat Power make No Sense.

Muse alert the Panic Station and Turin Brakes are prone to a Panic Attack.

I’ve always wanted to chew on the genius of Wrigley Scott. Oops, I don’t suppose Future of the Left would find that funny.

No matter how hard Surfer Blood try, they cannot fail but to become involved in Neighbour Riffs.

Is it me or is Blink 182 rather Boring?

Some people don’t like something sprung on them. I organised a party for the trouble and strife and many were convinced it would go down worse than saltwater.

To be honest, the only reason I did it was because of a voice telling me that She Likes Surprises. Soundgarden was on repeat the day before.

It was a bit extreme but I Wrote in Blood a letter to Still Corners and Gotye are Like Drawing Blood.

Battles leave many Bad Trails of breadcrumbs.

The Charlatans couldn't write a good track yesterday so maybe they should Try Again Today.

Graveyard was Uncomfortably Numb and Pink Floyd is Comfortably Numb.

Flightwave and Flightplan is a Com Truise track and 2005 Jodie Foster thriller respectively.

The Fray poured me a glass of the finest wine and to my amazement, simply didn’t stop. As the glass overflowed, I questioned their squandering. I later found the reasoning behind their glare that could burn through bank vaults was because I didn’t Say When.

There are many Branches to a tree. How many will Midlake break when falling?

Cypher is a 2002 film and Cypherspeed is a song by Klaxons.

Madness won’t have anybody or scrub anything unless it’s on the Kitchen Floor.

In the workplace, some may suspect somebody of been a bit of a gossip or spread stuff that may or not be true. This can be useful and interesting to some, annoying to most and dangerous for the minority.

Some may whisper on seeing this person approaching Here Comes the Rumour Mill. It turns out this person was wrongly accused and completely innocent as their only crime was having a fondness for Young Knives.

Rolls Royce is a famous type of car and Rolls Bayce is a song by Battles.

Electricity can be dangerous and therefore should be treated with the utmost respect. I suppose Avalanches take the necessary precautions.

Have you heard the News about Tuneyards? Oh good, I'll save my breath then.

Tender Trap and The Temper Trap are both similar named, but totally differently sounding bands.

Goldstar and Dimstar are songs by Cashier No.9 and Gay Dad respectively.

LCD Soundsystem is always a Great Release for me.

Crystal Maze is a song by Errors and The Crystal Maze is a classic game show.

Tuneyards is among the pickiest band about Safety precautions.

I remain Optimistic that Radiohead will not revert back to their old sound.

Terror Trap is an awful 2010 horror film and Terror Tricks is a song by Errors.

Fluke succeeded in confusing everybody in parliament when they suggested that we should hold a Reeferendrum.

Young Knives invite you all to The Grand Opening of their restaurant.

Besides Me, what’s more important? Oh, there is Inspiral Carpets.

Have you seen the cover art to New Found Glory, you really don’t want to as it’s an Eyesore.

Jumping Jack and Jumpin' Jack Flash are songs by Tuneyards and The Rolling Stones respectively.

Propellerheads have developed a Winning Style.

Listening to Fluke is a truly Absurd notion.

Between Two Rivers and Between Two Lungs are songs by Ultrasound and Florence + The Machine respectively.

Golden…

Gaze - Ian Brown

Skans - Klaxons

Light - Twin Shadow and Big Deal

Sun - Fenech-Soler

Platitudes - Manic Street Preachers

Touch – Razorlight

Web – Howling Bells

Diva – Flying Lotus

Slumbers – The Beatles

Brown – The Stranglers

Boy – Barenaked Ladies and The Stranglers
Pendulum - The Big Pink
Hair - Slowdive
Cattle - The Low Anthem
Heart - Mark Knopfler
Soul - The Bluetones
Sands - Paul Weller
Ship - The Phoenix Foundation
Seal - Fucked Up
Thread - Passenger
Syrup - The Wave Pictures
Girl - The Naked and Famous
Hours - Brian Eno
Retriever - Super Furry Animals

Could any band Turn Me On like a radio? Well, there is The Fray.

Ultrasound will happily Suckle on anything with a teat. Is there some kind of message here?

Summer Smoke, Summer Son and Summer Mood are tracks by Cemeteries, Texas and Best Coast respectively.

Love it When You Call and Why Did You Call? are songs by The Feeling and The Magic Numbers respectively.

Northern Man and Northern Skies are tracks by Detroit Social Club and I Am Kloot respectively.

Goal! is a 1988 Jaleco game and Goal! Goal! Goal! was honoured to appear on the Neo Geo in 1995.

I’m 110% sure there isn’t an official Goal! Goal! video game.

I didn’t particularly like Shiny Toy Guns and to think, I paid Money for That.

I waited ages for Arcade Fire to turn up but they never did. I despair at so many Wasted Hours.

Wrestlers are personal friends of Hot Chip and Frightened Rabbit enjoy being part of The Wrestle.

If you Bide your Time, you’ll pick up something that was previously expensive for a relatively cheap price. The Courteeners encourage such prudence.

These bands and/or artists are many things but they are best described as being Like a…

Drug - Queens of the Stone Age

Prayer – Madonna

Honeycomb – British Sea Power

Stone – Audioslave

There are Many Ways to skin a cat and Bombay Bicycle Club has just found a new method.

If an adult film star is ‘losing it’, even a professional fluffer cannot make him stand to attention if he’s been listening to Kings of Leon as their music just makes you Soft.

Fluke were subject to a minor Setback.

Broken Home and Broken Homes are songs by Papa Roach and Tricky respectively.

Dirty Pretty Things are a right set of vicious Blood Thirsty Bastards.

All You Need Is Love is a famous song by The Beatles and All You Need Is Kill is an upcoming Tom Cruise action vehicle.

It’s important to wear The Silver Necklace if you’re about to see Tired Pony.

There are obviously leaders in this world but Elbow are Leaders of the Free World.

I will never forget That Day when I met Villagers.

I’ve heard of a fanatical following but a female took the Manic Street Preachers a bit too far. Rumour has it that She Bathed Herself in a Bath of Bleach.

Where Would We Be Now without Good Charlotte? I await a decent explanation.

Toy are Drifting Deeper and I am becoming more apart.

Film Noir and Silent Movie are songs by The Gaslight Anthem and The Boxer Rebellion respectively.

OK Go did unspeakable things While You Were Asleep, Low advise if somebody will Try to Sleep, My Bloody Valentine are keen to watch When You Sleep, New Fast Automatic Daffodils insist I Take You to Sleep, The Walkmen claim No One Ever Sleeps, Semisonic are musically in touch with snoozing as they are Singing in my Sleep, The Twilight Sad are Not Sleeping and Barenaked Ladies question the need for a kip as Who Needs Sleep?

To mop up, In Their Sleep is a 2010 movie.

Things with the wife were going okay but I grew bored and wanted out. While in front of a solicitor, evidence was sought so I gave them a copy of The Seldom Seen Kid. This was an open and shut case as it gave me Grounds for Divorce.

If you’re refused entry to a venue with Our Broken Garden playing, don’t be too disheartened and/or offended as the same thing happened to me. Anyway, try again When Your Blackening Shows.

If you really Want Me To, I'll put Tuneyards on.

Centuries ago, a person suspected of possessing supernatural abilities weren't liked very much and could be executed in any number of grisly ways such as drowning, incineration or decapitation. Queens of the Stone Age would no doubt scream Burn the Witch.

I'm not quite ready for The Celibate Life yet but The Shins consider it essential.

Don't Cha and Datcha are songs by The Pussycat Dolls and Prometheus respectively.

Futura is a song by Battles; Futurama will always take a backseat to The Simpsons and Muse practice Futurism.

Trap Doors is a song by Broken Bells and The Trap Door is a great 80s claymation kid's show.

Theory of a Deadman have Got it Made and Ocean Colour Scene expect You've Got it Bad.

No matter how close to home a gig by The Rifles takes place, it’s always a Long Walk Back.

Twins is a 1988 comedy starring Arnie and Danny DeVito. Triplets is a song by Prometheus.

We Are Scientists blatantly broke the law and in court they were reminded that even for them, Rules Don’t Stop.

I know it’s dangerous but I’d like to feed a Crocodile that is owned by The Phantom Band.

Friends and Lovers is both a song by Incubus and a Bernard Butler album.

Goodnight Ladies and Goodnight Lover are songs by Lou Reed and Fluke respectively.

If you take a Little Journey with Avalanches, it will do more good than harm.

What is or what does Eight of Nine equal or mean? I don’t know, ask The Ataris.

Pop on a pair of gardening gloves, dig up Thistle & Weeds and hand them to Mumford & Sons.

There are common forms of Blank Media that include CD, DVD and Blu Ray. I wonder what Errors prefer.

End of Days and End of Watch are both films from the past and present. End of Night is a Dido track.

Close Range and At Close Range is a New Order song and 1986 movie respectively.

The dreams that I and The Hundred in the Hands once had have long since Faded.

Hang Tough is an event in game show Gladiators. It's also a song by Fluke.

Instead of splitting hairs, The Shins will Split Needles.

I wonder How Long it’s going to be before you invest in Howling Bells.

If you know Someone Great, LCD Soundsystem will certainly be jealous.

Slap Fight is a 1986 Toaplan shmup and Bitch Slap is a 2009 movie. Exploitation or not, it’s the ultimate lads film and is better than any issue of Nuts or Zoo.

If Slap Fight was released today, they simply couldn't and wouldn't get away with a title like that.

Blame It on The Boogie and Blame It on The Boom Boom are songs by The Jacksons and Black Stone Cherry respectively. Blame It on The Bellboy is a 1992 comedy film.

Sssshhhh, The Postal Service are Sleeping In.

100 Times and 1000 Times are tracks by The Distractions and Gomez respectively.

David Bowie looked up to a Big Brother, Turin Brakes picked on a Little Brother and Queens of the Stone Age teased their Little Sister.

After being unable to hold their breath for any longer, Kaiser Chiefs are Coming Up for Air.

Better People, Better Made and Better Weather are songs by Oasis, Headswim and Twin Atlantic respectively.

Deux Ex and Deux Ex Natura is a video game franchise and an Ultrasound track respectively.

Howling Bells have a track called Charlatans and The Charlatans is a band.

For everybody who want to see 3 Doors Down, you better hurry as they are Landing in London any second now.

It’s the Little Things in life that are sometimes appreciated most, like Good Charlotte for instance.

There are not many bands that can boast that they performed All My Own Stunts. Okay Arctic Monkeys, bragging can begin to get irritating.

Bright Eyes have become the First Day of my Life.

Cashier No.9 saw I was feeling a touch under the weather so they offered me an unknown substance. A short conversation followed and it went like this.

“Take this.”

“Why?” I replied dubiously.

“Look, trust us, it’s guaranteed To Make You Feel Better.”

With that, I didn't need a second invitation and moments later, I felt right as rain.

Roscoe is a song by Midlake and Rosco McQueen is a 1998 firefighting video game.

Twin Cobra is a 1987 arcade game, Twin Flames is a track by Klaxons and Twin Shadow is an artist.

The Raveonettes are scant Hallucinations.

We can all have Two Faces. Opinion remains divided on which façade suits Tired Pony the most.

If everything is Falling All Around You, stand your ground unless The Coral say otherwise.

Instead of something that fell on death ears, why not enforce that it Fell on Black Days. I don’t think this will catch on quite as much but Soundgarden will confront you on this.

I met the Girl of the Year, as voted by The Distractions.

I’ve been meaning to visit America but like Kings of Leon, I can afford to keep California Waiting.

Well I’m finally more stuffed than a freakish turkey and I’m sure those scales are just going to ‘love’ me.

Time for bed and hopefully I’ll sleep through.

Who knows what will happen next?

Well that’s for me to know and for you to find out.