Monday, 14 April 2014

Game Over Man!

Regardless of individual skill, nobody sets out to purposely die in a video game.

After all, what's the point in playing if you have no interest in at least trying to force success?

While it counts for nothing today, back in the 80s and 90s, arcades, home computers and consoles rewarded failure with static imagery often more legendary than the game itself.

Unless stated, all screens are from the arcade.

I've chosen specific pixels as I know some exist on multiple formats.

The following are basically continue screens as they simply become game over when the counter reaches zero.

As they are undoubtedly iconic, I suppose allowances can be made.

Final Fight, 1989
Street Fighter II, 1991
Alien vs. Predator, 1994
Either/or, both are quite decent.

AVP unfortunately made it to the big screen - twice.
Shadow Warriors, 1988
Capcom made sequels exclusively for the SNES.

Final Fight 2, 1993
Final Fight Tough, 1995
Based on a comic, at least the punishment for failing was marginally interesting...

Cadillacs and Dinosaurs, 1993
The prospect of biffing a T-Rex?  Let's get on it. 

Right, now for the proper animals.

While there are countless amounts to choose from, I'm distancing myself between those who just utter the repetition of Jigsaw's catchphrase as that would be duller than shitwater.

Let the banquet kick ass.

A.B. Cop, 1990
Alien 3, 1993 (Mega Drive)
Yes, I'm not needlessly repeating the SNES interpretation because you've already seen that...
For the record, the NES game (and every other) were visually worse.
Awesome Possom, 1993 (Mega Drive)
Dying is bad enough, but been buried in a junkyard just sucks.
Battletech, 1994 (Mega Drive)
You can call it MechWarrior, if you like...
Shadow of the Beast, 1989 (Amiga)
Shadow of the Beast III, 1992 (Amiga)
Of course it will look great, but the PS4 reimagining will bomb.

Always the optimist. Ha ha!

Pulstar, 1995 (Neo Geo)
Blazing Star, 1998 (Neo Geo)
If anything, the sequel was a BONUS.
Blood Omen: Legacy of Kain, 1996 (PS1)
You have perished.

A summary of achievements promptly follows but is of little consolation.
I most remember original for an intelligent script, admirable voice acting and gothic atmosphere.
Even slowdown and tedious loading refused to bring down an excellent adventure.
CarnEvil, 1998
Donkey Kong Country, 1994 (SNES)
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest, 1995 (SNES)
Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!, 1996 (SNES)
God of War series, debuted in 2005 (various Sony machines)
Think that's bad?  Get ready to be happy.

Upon failure, you are informed of the following. 

Friday the 13th, 1989 (NES)
At that very moment, the sensation of elation diminishes.

The connection from reality is broken and ejecting drool on a steel mattress is considered an achievement.

Before entering a vegetative state, regret is engineered to your partner and love dissipates.

Unable to digest such agony, your better half self-terminates all visiting rights.

With the plug pulled on life support, issuing ironic gratitude with your dying breath tastes supreme.

Pulling yourself together, please continue.

Ghost Pilots, 1991
It's a slight shame that SNK didn't follow up this decent 19XX wannabe with a sequel.
Jungle Strike, 1993 (Mega Drive)
Even the iciest of hearts will melt at seeing the demise of this poor bastard.
King of the Monsters, 1991
King of the Monsters 2: The Next Thing, 1992
It wasn't just World in Action that exploited Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man.

Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, 1994 (SNES)
This parody and/or rip-off is particularly bizarre.

Policenauts, 1996 (PS1)
Metal Slug, 1996
Many forget that before SNK bought them out, this was originally a Nazca creation.
Mortal Kombat 4, 1997 (PS1)
New York Warriors, 1990 (Amiga)
Operation Thunderbolt, 1988
You are fatally wounded.  Your mission has failed.
Operation Thunderbolt, 1994 (SNES)
Ranx: The Video Game, 1990 (Atari ST)
Rastan, 1987
Sengoku 3, 2001
Super Sidekicks, 1993
Yep, watching Emmerdale is more exciting...
The beautiful game progressed (in more kicks than one).

Super Sidekicks 2: The World Championship, 1994
Super Sidekicks 3: The Next Glory, 1995
The Ultimate 11: SNK Football Championship, 1996
Sparkster, 1994 (Mega Drive)
Bram Stoker's Dracula, 1993 (Sega CD)
I'm no expert on the Coppola film, but I do remember a teeth-bearing, shit sucking Keanu Reeves very briefly roaring in anguish.
Remember his offensive British accent?

Ha ha ha ha!
The Adventures of Mighty Max, 1994 (SNES)
The House of the Dead, 1996
Is this somebody's 
Vampire Night, 2000
Silent Hill 4: The Room, 2004 (PS2)
Viewpoint, 1992
Your craft crash lands on a planet that nobody remembers.
Super Mario 64, 1996 (Nintendo 64)
Haunting Ground, 2005 (PS2)
The performance is over.
Left ambiguous, the prospect of Debilitas raping Fiona is definitely disturbing.
X-Men: Wolverine's Rage, 2001 (Game Boy Colour)
Raising the stakes, the Castlevania series is happy to participate.

Aria of Sorrow, 2003 (Game Boy Advance)
Castlevania, 1999 (Nintendo 64)
Castlevania Legends, 1997 (Game Boy)
Circle of the Moon, 2001 (Game Boy Advance)
Harmony of Dissonance, 2002 (Game Boy Advance)
Portrait of Ruin, 2006 (Nintendo DS)
Order of Ecclesia boasted a trilogy of DS lovelies.

Alucard biting the big one brought this.

Symphony of the Night, 1997 (PS1)
Game Over.  Cue cheesy cackle (HA HA HA HA HA!).
My top ten will follow...

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