Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter - The scoop and digest

2002... (sighs).  I'll never forget it.

It was the year when Paul W. S. Anderson took Capcom's hugely successful survival horror series to the big screen.

Soon after, news broke out that it was a pile of tremendous shit.

Virus was a box office success, taking millions worldwide.

A string of terrible sequels followed and Hollywood refused to sterilise all concerned.

Can franchise end on a high?

Milla Jovovich - Alice / Alicia Marcus
Iain Glen - Dr. Alexander Isaacs
Shawn Roberts - Wesker
Ali Larter - Claire Redfield

A flashback sequence reveals Professor James Marcus*, original founder of Umbrella, created the T-virus to save his daughter Alicia from dying of premature ageing.

*In 2002 Gamecube prequel Zero, he was a 'Doctor' and described as being the first general manager of Umbrella.

After business partner Dr. Isaacs fails to convince Marcus to use his creation for military purposes, Isaacs gives Wesker the nod to kill him.

Three weeks after Retribution, Alice stumbles across the Red Queen who tells her she must return to the Hive in Raccoon City and retrieve Umbrella's antivirus, or humankind can kiss its ass goodbye.

Serum will destroy anything infected with the T-virus (including Alice), as mutagenic toxin still courses through veins.

On her way to destination, Isaacs captures Alice, but she manages to escape.

We learn mutated Nemesis guise from Extinction was actually a clone.

Alice joins a bunch of survivors (including Claire Redfield), and undead army is wiped out.

They decide best way to get to the Hive is via huge crater, dubbed the Pit.

Wesker sends in the hounds, but fails to scupper progress.

Red Queen explains reason for betrayal is video uploaded to her databank contained evidence that Isaacs planned to unleash the T-virus to cleanse the world and rebuild it in Umbrella's image.

Although artificial intelligence can't hurt an Umbrella employee, she is also programmed to value human life, hence where Alice comes in.

Honestly, who the fuck writes this shit?

Alice plants bombs and confronts the real Isaacs.  A haggard Alicia trundles in and Alice is dejected to learn she's just a copy of Marcus's offspring.

"Albert Wesker, YOU'RE FIRED!"

Just so we're clear - I'm not taking the piss.

Red Queen can now attack, trapping Wesker inside door.

Isaacs and Alice lock horns, with the former apparently winning.

However, grenade snatched during mortal combat poops on party and antivirus is secured.

In subsequent explosion, Isaacs bites the dust at the hands of clone.

Antivirus wipes out remaining zombie onslaught and Alice survives because healthy cells remain.

Knowing world won't be cured overnight, her fight continues.


Fuck me sideways.  This was more hideous than any biological weapon.

Cinematography ensure absurd action sequences make little sense and morons obviously dreamed up prosaic plot.

Morgue monster and flying beast are surely based on Regenerator and Kipepeo of Res 4 and 5 fame respectively, but other than that - it's staple diet.


Alice has 48 hours to save humanity.

Is it me, but does the whole idea smack of 1985 classic Commando, as like Matrix, Alice checks countdown on wristwatch?

(Rolls eyes).

Alicia (The Old Man) 'firing' Wesker (Dick Jones)?

Directive what the FUCK?

Isaacs cheats by activating Predictive Combat System (or something very similar), so already knows Alice's strategy.

In DOA: Dead or Alive, hammy baddie Donovan (Eric Roberts) is able to absorb whichever fighting technique, as long as special sunglasses are worn.

Coincidentally, message is displayed on-screen, which I know to be Fight Prediction Complete.

Although Corey Yuen was director, that asshole Anderson helped produce.

With that said, should we scream rip off?

Most definitely.

If live action is to be rebooted, please get somebody who gives a toss about source material.

In the meantime, third CG movie Vendetta looks awesome.

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