Monday 24 February 2020

Brahms: The Boy II - The scoop and digest

William Brent Bell returns to direct stand-alone sequel to laughably bad original.

Surely lessons have been learned?

Katie Holmes - Liza
Owain Yeoman - Sean
Christopher Convery - Jude
Ralph Ineson - Joseph

Summary

Five months after Liza was attacked during a burglary, her young son Jude is struck by mutism.

Parents decide taking a break will help.

Jude finds a porcelain doll buried nearby to the derelict Glennview Estate (Heelshire Mansion) and becomes obsessed with new friend.

Strange things begin to happen, but inanimate plaything can't be responsible, right?

Torture

Okay, acting is pretty good, but apart from that, this has absolutely no reason to exist.

None whatsoever.

At just over 80 minutes, you'd think pain would be over with quickly, but the reality is quite the opposite.

To say inept piece of shit drags is an understatement.

Joseph tells us Brahms was at some point killed.  We don't know why or how, he just was.

But before that, we see doll blatantly move mince pies, making ridiculous twist rather obvious.

So we've gone from man living in walls to a fucking demon?

Just WHAT?

Hold the phone though, because gore, effective jump scares and disturbing imagery compensates.

(Laughs hysterically).

As for supernatural monster, it's probably the lamest example I've ever seen.

If this somehow makes a few quid, they'll probably green light a third.

PLEASE GOD NO!

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