The New Mutants - The scoop and digest

The last film I covered was The Invisible Man, (nearly 6 months ago).

It's time to get back on the horse.

Josh Boone's X-Men spin-off has been delayed since April 2018, and apparently cursed.

But that's all history.

Maisie Williams - Rahne Sinclair
Anya Taylor-Joy - Illyana Rasputin
Charlie Heaton - Sam Guthrie
Alice Braga - Dr. Reyes
Blu Hunt - Danielle Moonstar
Henry Zaga - Roberto da Costa

Summary

16 year-old mutant Danielle 'Dani' Moonstar awakes inside an abandoned hospital where Dr. Reyes tells her she's the sole survivor of a terrible tragedy.

She's introduced to four others, who like Dani, also have shit going on.

As hormonal teenagers begin to find themselves and learn to control their powers, the alternative Famous Five decide to fight back and escape facility.

Worth the wait?

Hmmm.

For the most part, we endure a boring drama, but third act is thankfully more fun.

When unmasked, Smile Men 'probably' justify 15 cert, but contribution is inconsequential.

Also, would it have broken hearts to spill blood?

Obviously.

Final battle with Demon Bear possesses energy, but straight out of a video game.  After a visit from father's spirit, Dani manages to calm it into submission.

Special effects are nice and hairy entity devouring Reyes was amusing.

Most characters are depicted inaccurately and inevitably have come under fire for whitewashing.

Did I care about anybody?

No.

Is Rahne and Dani's romantic relationship pertinent to plot?

(Frowns).

While I have sympathy for troubled production history, series ends on an underwhelming note.

Still, at least result is superior to Dark Phoenix.

Video game mistakes - Take 2 (2 of 2)

Expect more of the same guys, with extra horsepower.

Unless stated, arcade version shown.

Muscle Bomber: The Body Explosion

Stinger's height is 168cm and weighs 74kg.

Outside of Japan, wrestle fest was renamed Saturday Night Slam Masters.

Our man became Stingr, and metric system was changed to ft/inches and pounds.

Logic?

Who knows?

After the apparent 'death' of Geese, self-proclaimed sovereign of the darkside "Wolfgang Krauser" became new end boss in Fatal Fury 2. 

That's not the problem.

Real Bout Fatal Fury Special

Lawrence Blood asks a question during his ending.

What's up Mr Krawzer?

Nowt pal, everything's hunky dory.

(Asshole).

Smash TV

Penultimate boss Cobra Death! spells double trouble.

Before we're encouraged to decapitate Evil M.C, we're presented with recap.

Mutoid Man - Totally Dead!
Scarface - No Eyes!
Die Cobras - Fangless!

It's not even close.

What the actual FUCK?

Savage Reign (Neo Geo)

Hayate: "If you're the legendary Chun, I'm a disco queen!"

If you're the master of Fu'un-Ken, then my name isn't Chung.

Oh shit...

Also.

Old dude's weapon is cane of flames.

Ending

It becomes legendary flame stick.

Lovely stuff.

Arkanoid
Dimension-controlling fort "Doh" has now been demolished, and time started flowing reversely.

A long period of time passed.....

Arkanoid: Revenge of Doh
And the dimension-controlling force "Doh" has again come back to life.

Tomb Raider 2013 (Various)

Check this out.

"I'm Mathias..."

Congratulations mate.  What do you want, a fucking medal?

Spin on to end credits.

Hmmm, Robert Craighead voiced a character called Matthias.

Goof was never corrected, not even in the Definitive Edition.

Mortal Kombat

Goro won the title of Grand Champion by defeating Kung Lao, a Shaolin fighting monk.

Tournament wasn't the only thing that was corrupted.

Master System (left) and Game Gear (right) speak of Kung Lau.

No fucking excuse.

MK II was inevitably converted for both systems, but ironically, 'Kung Lao' was omitted from roster.

Others had no such problems.

Amiga

SNES

Mortal Kombat II

Despite what we're led to believe, this Kung Lao is not who four-armed fiend dispensed with 500 years ago, but his last descendant.

But I take issue with final part of ending.

With his strength and spirit in complete alignment he finally avenges the death of his great ancestor.
Although his greatest challenges lie ahead.

Rewind.

Goro didn't kill anybody, so dialogue makes no sense.

The King of Fighters '95 (Neo Geo)

Kyo comes up against his father Saishu (reincarnated by Rugal).

But gameplay introduces another guy in green pyjamas.

Saisyu

Darkstalkers: The Night Warriors

Jon Talbain

Night Warriors: Darkstalkers' Revenge

So far so good, but things get hairy in Darkstalkers 3.

J. Talbain

Abbreviating first name isn't really that bad.

However, ending fucks that up.

I wonder what John is doing?
He is late, isn't he...

You'll be waiting a long time.

Nothing sinister about Lord Raptor in original and sequel.

But in third game.

L. Rapter

(Sigh).

Love this one.

So they're saying that Victor is Frankenstein (as in creature type).

Bollocks.

Frankenstein was the creator, not the monster.

World Heroes series (Neo Geo)

Dragon

But in sequel.

Bruce Lee-wannabe became K. Dragon. 

Muscle Power

World Heroes 2 Jet

Muscle

World Heroes Perfect

Muscle (again)

Yet in VS screen.

He's back to Muscle Power.

World Heroes 2

Erick was probably based on Erik Thorvaldsson (Erik the Red).

Whatever, he literally became his 'inspiration' in Jet.

Erik

But then in Perfect.

Erick is back.

Knights of the Round

Gentle hearted fighter cannot decide on name.

Parceval is also Perceval.

Personally, I blame his well-built body.

Mix and match

Flyer

Percival

Incredible SNES conversion stuck with Percival throughout.

Fatal Fury: King of Fighters (Neo Geo)

Title screen confirms what we already know.

Manual

Yes, this shit isn't fake.

This event is the greatest fighting tournament in the world and is called "King of the Fighters".  This is the town where legends are born and the weak are buried.

Not only is subtitle contradicted, three-on-three melee would debut in 1994 as The King of Fighters.

Blurb continues.

After 10 years, two young fighters, Terry and Andy Bogard, appear on the scene.  Years of training and the pain of their fathers death was enough for them to show Geese their Fatal Fury...

So that's why game is called so?

Hilarious.

Also, fathers should be father's and Joe is completly ignored.

RUDE!

To serious (and familiar) business.

Richard Meyer

But that's not 'his' name.

Richard Myer

Manual agrees (on Myer).

Kapoerai is a drug I recommend not to snort.

If only bastard practiced Brazilian martial art Capoeira, then I wouldn't have anything to bitch about.

And high score table kicks my ass.

Richard Mier

THREE different aliases?

Mind. Blown.

Enter the Geese.

Wow, who will fight against him next?
Yeah, Riden will !

Bring it on baby.

Come on portrait, don't let me down.

Raiden

YOU USELESS BASTARD.

Maybe manual can rescue situation.

Riden
A villainous wrestler with poisened vapor breath.

After all these years, 'poisoned' was wrong?

Well shit.

Geese Howard

Credits state Southtown crime kingpin is called:

Geese Howerd

Fatal Fury 3: Road to the Final Victory (Neo Geo)

Franco Bashu is fought in Soutown Airport. 

Tut fucking tut.

Guess who we fight?

Franco Bash

Of course we do.

Miscellany

I guess I underestimated you.
You're stronger than Jeff and Krauzer...

Wait a Kaiser Wave, wasn't he called Krauser?

I love a good old fashioned folktake.

Why, by the hairs of my chengny, cheng, cheng... It's Cheng!

Terry is of course referencing The Three Little Pigs, namely "No, no, by the hair on my chinny chin chin."

But tail boom displaying Ching is just unforgivable.

It looks like your searching for the secret files, too.
I hate competition, so die!

Sticks and stones my Kasa friend.

With the Jins defeated, Mochizuki returns home with the secret scrolls.

Holy JESUS!

One minute Sokaku was harping on about files, and the next...

I give up.