Two-part edition essentially concerns Engrish, but with a ridiculous twist.
Unless stated, arcade version shown.
Cadillacs and Dinosaurs
|
Mustapha Cairo |
But later.
|
Mustpha, look... (Your name is spelled wrong). You're right. Somebody is going to pay! |
Bravoman (PC Engine)
|
Pistol Lord show your skill ! |
I would Dr. Bomb, but there's one fucking problem.
|
I am the Pistol Load. |
The Combatribes
Check out
character profiles.
|
"Berserker" Height: 7.01 ft Weight: 176 lb |
|
"Blitz" Height: 6.92ft Weight: 173 lb |
Why isn't there a
'space' between 6.92 and ft?
Err.
And finally.
|
"Bullova" Height: 6.85 ft Weight: 181 lb |
Nothing too sinister.
But
SNES port makes things interesting (in more ways than one).
|
"Berzerker" Height: 7' 1" Weight: 246lb |
Berzerker?
|
"Blitz" Height: 6' 9" Weight: 239lb |
|
"Bullova" Height: 6' 11" Weight: 258lb |
Height differences are minor, but other vital statistic literally adding extra beef fascinates.
Berserker - 176lb and 246lb
Blitz - 173lb and 239lb
Bullova - 181lb and 258lb
And no, I don't care if they magically became
cyborgs.
Art of Fighting (Neo Geo)
|
Ryo or Robert fight Micky Down Town. |
Moving on to vastly superior
sequel.
|
Lanky boxer was not only redesigned, but also came back as Mickey. |
But it's cool, cos' during
gameplay...
|
He's Micky (again). |
Respect.
Samurai Shodown (Neo Geo)
Tam Tam is very confused.
|
Oh! Great Quexiquatil ! I am yours for eternity. |
In another breath.
|
Great Quexilcatol ! Bring light to this land. |
After taking a leave of absence, he returned in
Samurai Shodown IV: Amakusa's Revenge.
|
Some young twerp begs: Quetzalcoatl! Save this young man's life! |
Amusingly, this is the
correct spelling.
HA HA HA!
Samurai Shodown II (Neo Geo)
|
Yes, Neinhalt Sieger. The knight who killed your boss! |
Guess what?
|
Thank you, Siegar. |
Well asshole, you're not welcome.
Miscellany
|
Haohmaru debuted in original and never left. |
Way down franchise's line.
|
Samurai Shodown: Warriors Rage (PS1)
SNK suddenly changed mainstay to Haomaru. |
Also.
|
Genjuro was a hugely popular addition to sequel. |
But in
SNK vs Capcom: SVC Chaos (left) and
NeoGeo Battle Coliseum (right), pink hair and outrageous pantaloons became
Genjyuro.
Fucking weird.
Wonder Boy in Monster Land
|
Oh man, it's Giant Cong! |
End credits
|
Red Knight, Bubbly Crab, Were Rat, Kraken, Yeti, etc etc and Giant Kong. |
Well unzip my banana.
Karnov's Revenge (Neo Geo)
|
Bearded neanderthal Marstrius enjoys chewing chain. |
Enter his impostor.
|
Marstorius |
Mega Man (NES)
|
Before hero ended evil domination and restored the world to peace, original introduced antagonist Dr. Wily. |
Spin on to
Mega Man 3.
|
Where's Dr. Wiley?... Oh no, too late. |
(Frowns).
X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse (SNES)
Charles: Job well done! One final test, X-Men. Test your skills against...
|
Juggernaut! |
Drum roll.
|
Why the fuck is Beast (in this case) now brawling with Juggerhavt? |
Baldie was lying by the way, as chosen goodie must dispatch Exodus and finally, Magneto.
Vendetta
Although marketed as a direct sequel to Crime Fighters in Japan, Konami's intention was stand-alone.
Bios
|
Blood Ex-Prize Fighter |
|
Sledge Ex-Military Convict |
Character select
|
Blood Ex_Prize Fighter Sledge Ex_Military Convict |
Hyphen off and underscore me.
Double Dragon (Neo Geo)
|
Cheng-Fu |
Turns into:
|
Cheng Fu |
One more.
|
Dulton |
|
Same in regular ending. |
But defeat game in one credit.
|
Dalton |
FFS!
I'll finish with an absolute beauty.
The Thing (DOS, PS2 and Xbox)
|
Report is compiled by one Dr Sean Faraday, Research Director, Gen Inc |
Situation drastically evolves.
|
Dr Shaun Faraday has suddenly been demoted to Chief medical researcher at Gen-Inc and note name of test subject 873 (RC Whitely). |
What initials stand for is never revealed, but could be a nod to R.J. MacReady.
Hello, what's this?
|
Faraday is 'getting increasingly worried about the mental state of Commander Whiltely'. |
Going from one extreme to another?
WOW!
I too feel for subject 873, but cannot extend sympathy to
developers, as I believe all and sundry injected the B4 strain of the Cloud virus (even after I personally refused them after the tests).
Final part to follow.
Cool!
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