Nukes and Knives™: June 2021

Sunday 27 June 2021

'Probably' everything that ripped off Conan the Destroyer

Sequel to classic original sucked ass, but that didn't stop others doing what they did.

Poster

Subtlety? Parody? Originality?

Err, not really.

Warrior Blade: Rastan Saga Episode III

Galdregon's Domain (EU) aka Death Bringer

Ironsword: Wizards & Warriors II

Beastmaster III: The Eye of Braxus

The Legend of Blacksilver

Time Fighter

Golden Axe III (JP)

Even though Sega hired Boris Vallejo to create cover for second exclusive Mega Drive sequel, publishing restrictions prevented them from using it.

Instead, Sohhei Oshiba cobbled together a piss poor imitation of painting Silver Sword.

And.

Title screen of SNES weapon-based fighter Battle Blaze features Kerrell (Faud in Japanese version).

Twin brother Lang (Rangle in Japan) only appears in Battle Mode.

Miscellany

Golden Axe arcade flyer (JP) vs publicity still

Rastan Saga II arcade flyer (JP) vs publicity still

Same image (albeit cropped), was used for Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (first edition) adventure module Conan Against Darkness!

Golden Axe (Master System ending) vs pose during duel with Bombaata

Ha ha ha!

Silmarils are probably most famous for the Ishar series.

In 1991, defunct French developer randomly brought Amstrad CPC exclusive Xyphoes Fantasy.

I wonder which source artist based cover around?

FYI, game 'impressively' ripped off Wrath of the Demon, Shadow of the Beast and Barbarian: The Ultimate Warrior.

Oh yeah.

Stage complete screen vs another pose during duel with Bombaata

That's all live action wrote, but that doesn't mean I'm finished with the Hyborian Age.

Monday 21 June 2021

In the Earth - The scoop and digest

As a huge fan of Ben Wheatley, I was obviously excited by writer/director's latest project.

Joel Fry - Dr. Martin Lowery

Reece Shearsmith - Zach

Hayley Squires - Olivia Wendle

Ellora Torchia - Alma

Summary

Amidst a deadly and unnamed virus, Doctor Martin Lowery and park scout Alma head for test site ATU327A to rendezvous with Lowery's ex-lover Olivia Wendle.

We soon learn of local folk tale Parnag Fegg, spirit of the woods.

One night, they're attacked by unknown assailants, and shoes are robbed.

After Lowery injures his foot, they meet forest dweller Zach, who drugs and 'marks' them.

The line between science and nature blurs and reality distorts.

Psychedelic boredom

Kill List and Sightseers were great, so what happened here?

Blair Witch, Mandy and even 2001: A Space Odyssey are thrown inside a blender, but result of companion piece to A Field in England is bizarrely nonsensical.

Kudos to cinematography and Clint Mansell's score though.

Strobe lighting and flashing imagery can be very intense, so it begs the question why film doesn't warn that some scenes may trigger an epileptic seizure.

Shearsmith (doing his best Robert Plant impression) delivers a typically eccentric performance, but the rest beyond sucked.

Topping shit off, ending is abrupt and stupid.

In a nutshell, if you go down to the woods today, you're sure to get fucked up.

Whether you'll enjoy doing so is highly debateable.

Thursday 17 June 2021

How to Exploit Names and Entertain People - Slide 2

Huey

DuckTales

Tao Taido

Xion

Bloody Roar 3

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days

Frenchy

Goodfellas

Grease

Frenchie appears in The Boys and Maurice 'Frenchie' Theriault is a main and minor character in The Nun (2018) and The Conjuring respectively.

Weldon