Bob Hoskins described the experience of Super Mario Bros. as a nightmare and the worst thing he ever made.
30 years later, directors Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic are tasked to make CG outing anything but.
Chris Pratt - Mario
Anya Taylor-Joy - Princess Peach
Charlie Day - Luigi
Jack Black - Bowser
Keegan-Michael Key - Toad
Seth Rogen - Donkey Kong
Summary
Bowser easily overpowers the Penguin King's army and acquires the Super Star.
In Brooklyn, Mario and Luigi have started a plumbing business, but brothers are hardly in demand.
After attempting to fix a significant leak underground, they're sucked into a pipe and separated.
When Luigi is captured in the Dark Lands, Mario teams up with Peach, Toad and Donkey Kong to rescue brother and prevent Koopa King from destroying the Mushroom Kingdom.
Mid-credits
A still miniaturized Bowser belts out another number on piano and scolded by a Toad guard for doing so.
Post-credits
Near the pipe used to enter Mushroom Kingdom, a green-spotted white egg begins to break open and yelps after screen cuts to black.
Yoshi debuted in Super Mario World.
I remember it well...
Mamma mia!
Kids will enjoy, adults too (maybe?), but I didn't.
World is beautifully realised and there's a shedload of random references to other Nintendo franchises, such as Star Fox, Punch Out and F-Zero, but the whole thing is rather joyless and boring.
The Lego Movie this definitely isn't.
Matthew Fogel's script never raises a smile, characters have zero chemistry and story is bereft of imagination.
"Nothing can hurt us, as long as we're together."
Sigh.
Pratt's voice is unremarkable and Charles Martinet is Mario's dad, with he and family portraying a bunch of offensive Italian stereotypes.
Jack Black's singing was kinda fun, but Seth Rogen being himself was a bad decision.
Brian Tyler composing a medley of Koji Kondo's magical motifs are instantly recognisable and largely timed to perfection.
However, the shoehorning of classic rock ballads suggests filmmakers were smoking something dangerous.
A-ha's Take On Me plays during approach to Jungle Kingdom.
WTF?
Cheesy yes, but at least Welcome To The Jungle would've made sense.
Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out For a Hero and AC/DC's Thunderstruck are also out of place, and not even Mr. Blue Sky at the end rescues situation.
Wrapping shit up, some elements are eerily similar to Misami Hata's 1986 film Super Mario Bros.: The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach.
Mario playing a NES-style console.
Mushroom Kingdom is accessed via pipe.
Bowser loves Peach, breathes streams of fire and forces her to marry him.
Coincidence?
Hmmm.
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